HI Everyone, I am an older tg mtf person. I keep fighting against transition and fear it will never happen. I first had these feelings when I was 5 years old and have pictures to prove this. I got caught wearing a life sized doll's clothes too many times and my parents punished me by trying to embarrass me. I knew then to hide my desires but still got caught several times. Each time being caught was met with anger and attempts to embarrass me. From this, I probably learned to hide my feelings and consider them to be wrong.
I have a looonnnnggg story but these are the basics. I did a self orchid at 21, compartmentalized my desires and then avoided them, eventually married, became intolerable in my late 30's likely due to the lack of any hormones in my body, went on t for awhile, then my feelings for being a woman resurfaced with a vengeance. Wife threatened to keep me from seeing child (artificial insemination, but still my child who i love beyond belief), admitted to manipulating me to suit her own needs. Now i am in my 50's on injectables for two years but still can't commit to physical transition.
Quote from: Madison24 on May 17, 2019, 06:12:31 PM
HI Everyone, I am an older tg mtf person. I keep fighting against transition and fear it will never happen. I first had these feelings when I was 5 years old and have pictures to prove this. I got caught wearing a life sized doll's clothes too many times and my parents punished me by trying to embarrass me. I knew then to hide my desires but still got caught several times. Each time being caught was met with anger and attempts to embarrass me. From this, I probably learned to hide my feelings and consider them to be wrong.
I have a looonnnnggg story but these are the basics. I did a self orchid at 21, compartmentalized my desires and then avoided them, eventually married, became intolerable in my late 30's likely due to the lack of any hormones in my body, went on t for awhile, then my feelings for being a woman resurfaced with a vengeance. Wife threatened to keep me from seeing child (artificial insemination, but still my child who i love beyond belief), admitted to manipulating me to suit her own needs. Now i am in my 50's on injectables for two years but still can't commit to physical transition.
@Madison24 Dear Madison: Ahhhh, another brand new member on this thread.... WELCOME !!! Please know that I am not trying to sidetrack your post and the questions that you asked but First Things First ... you need to be officially welcomed and given important information and rules about the Forums that will help you to have a good experience here.
Other members will be along soon to exchange thoughts and comments with you about your questions.
As you continue to post on the forums you will be able to exchange thoughts and comments with others that are experiencing many of the same things that you are. I expect that you will be getting many members offering their thoughts and suggestions as you continue to post here.
This is the right place for you to be to find out what others may have to say that may have been in your circumstances and with your questions and concerns.
There are a lot of members here that will be able to identify with your situation and as you continue to feel free to share with all of us.
I want to warmly WELCOME you to Susan's Place.
You will find this a safe and friendly place to share with others and to read about others similar trials, tribulations, and successes.
As you are certainly aware you can share with others and involve yourself with some give and take with other like-minded members. When frustrated or if you have successes you can share it here if you wish and receive support from others and offer support to others. ....
***There is a very good chance that you might find that you will make some new like-minded friends here.
Please come in and continue to be involved at your own pace.
I have attached important and informative LINKS that will help you to navigate around the Forums and will allow you to enjoy the features here.
Please look closely at the LINKS in RED, answers are there to many questions that new members ask.
Again, Welcome to Susan's Place.
Danielle
Here are some links to the site rules and stuff that all new members should be familiar with:
Things that you should read
Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html) | Standard Terms & Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html) | Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.) | Cautionary Note (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,82221.0.html) |
Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html) | News posting & quoting guidelines (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,174951.0.html) | Photo, avatars, & signature images policy (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866) | Membership Agreement (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,216851.0.html) |
Hi Madison :icon_wave:
Welcome to Susan's Place :) Glad to have you here, join on in the fun
Hugs
V M
Hello Madison,
Thanks so much for sharing your introduction with us! It is so good to meet you in this way. Like you I am an older MtF. I am 63 years old, and I still am working through a lot of things in my head. I do hope that we can communicate sometime in the future. Marsha