I live with a non-accepting spouse (DADT that I have written about elsewhere on this forum). As a result, I don't get many chances to dress as myself — like when she is out-of-town for hours or days. But I do underdress every day and have for many years — always panties, often either a cami or bra. The thing about underdressing that is important to me is that I KNOW that I am wearing something feminine and pretty. I am partial to pastels and floral patterns. I know that what I am wearing, even though it is invisible to others and known only to me, is a symbol of my gender identity.
So-called "under-dressing" is important to me, Nancy
Yes, my wife is non-accepting as well with a DADT situation. The underwear has been very important to me for the last 30 years. She has become a little more accepting of not quite masculine, but not quite women's wear, but it is not what I want. I think she would be upset if she found out I have only one male undergarment. I might wear a bra in the winter, but the summers here are to hot to hide it under a sweat shirt. It's not an ideal situation, but it works well enough. I;m glad it works for you too, and I am glad to see that I am not the only one in this situation.
During the early days of my transition it kept me sane...that and a dab of perfume on my chest so I could duck my head into a shirt and get a wiff. I understand perfectly
Liz
I understand ... but also not. Bra's are so uncomfortable. Also most female underwear is. The more female tje more itchy. And female clothes are so unpractical. The pockets absent or shallow. Also... tight. Uncomfortable fabrics. Dresses that hinder movement. Shoes designed to hamper. Shoes that hurt.. . I could go on and on. But as a symbol. They are very much well worth it. But be aware they were designed to testrict freedom. To turn women into pretty harmless dolls. Very symbolic. A bit like bdsm with frills.That said. If you want to be free maybe its worth to wear slaves clothing.
Vethrvohvir, I'm going to venture a guess that you haven't spent many days in Vanity Fair nylon briefs or microfiber panties made by various brands. They are a dream to wear, silky smooth to the touch, gently accommodate anatomy, and are far more comfortable than male boxers or many scratchy men's cotton briefs. I don't wear thongs or lace front panties which will both fall into your characterization of uncomfortable and designed to arouse. However, I will concede your point on wearing a bra not being terribly comfortable (wearing one is reassuring to me in terms of my dysphoria). Cami's, on the other hand, are another story. Because they come in a variety of fabrics and can be worn either loose or form-fitting, they also can feel quite dreamy to wear (IMO). My larger point, however, which you seemed to get, is the importance TO ME of wearing WOMEN'S underwear to appease my dysphoria. Nancy
Quote from: NancyBalik on May 19, 2019, 08:02:37 PM
I live with a non-accepting spouse (DADT that I have written about elsewhere on this forum). As a result, I don't get many chances to dress as myself — like when she is out-of-town for hours or days. But I do underdress every day and have for many years — always panties, often either a cami or bra. The thing about underdressing that is important to me is that I KNOW that I am wearing something feminine and pretty. I am partial to pastels and floral patterns. I know that what I am wearing, even though it is invisible to others and known only to me, is a symbol of my gender identity.
So-called "under-dressing" is important to me, Nancy
I did this for years also before I started my new journey. I even went so far as to order panties made for men so I could tell my wife they weren't women's panties lol.
It felt great wearing them. Some of the ones I got even had lace on them which made me feel even more feminine.
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I feel I need to wear something feminine. It can be what ever, usually panties or something not seen by every one. But I have to have at least one thing I wear everyday that's made for a woman to help me focus on doing my job and vs being in my headspace about my feelings and thoughts of transitioning. If I wear something it satisfies the woman Inside. If I don't I can't stop thinking about how I could transition or being online shopping for things I could wear or use daily etc. it is starting to get to a point where I can't function without it
Update since being on hormones now for 4 months the need for under dressing has def subsided, but it's hit or miss whether I'm able to focus on if my head is in the clouds.
Quote from: Robbyv213 on April 11, 2025, 04:34:34 PMUpdate since being on hormones now for 4 months the need for under dressing has def subsided, but it's hit or miss whether I'm able to focus on if my head is in the clouds.
I wonder if that is because your body/mind is getting what it was missing. Without the hormones, it was like "Give me something", so underdressing helped. Now with the hormones in your system, it is saying, "I'm good, thanks!"
Quote from: Lori Dee on April 11, 2025, 04:41:24 PMI wonder if that is because your body/mind is getting what it was missing. Without the hormones, it was like "Give me something", so underdressing helped. Now with the hormones in your system, it is saying, "I'm good, thanks!"
Maybe, but there is still a lot of noise in my head that really only went away when I was on an anti androgen and E and the same time. Now that I'm only on E, it's hit or miss if im able to focus and be present or if im in my head.
Quote from: Robbyv213 on April 11, 2025, 04:44:19 PMMaybe, but there is still a lot of noise in my head that really only went away when I was on an anti androgen and E and the same time. Now that I'm only on E, it's hit or miss if im able to focus and be present or if im in my head.
The difference is T. With the anti-androgen, the effects are diminished. Without it, only the E opposes it, and T is more powerful than E. But I understand your reasons for stopping the anti-A.
Yea. I am curious to see the effects of progesterone. Everything that Ive read says it speeds feminizing up. Not that I think I'd be ready for faster changes and or in a rush for that matter. I got it prescribed so I'm just going to sit on it and stock pile it up until i decide if and when to start