Something has been bugging me for a while. I came out to my wife last year in March, and in recent months have been cautiously and selectively coming out to friends. I am an evangelical Christian, as are most of my friends. Their reactions have not been as damning as I expected but one thing really bothers me. They keep sending me links to websites and YouTube videos about people who were supposedly "healed" or "set free" from gender dysphoria by Jesus.
First, I am already a Christian and certain if that were God's plan He would have miracled me into a cis body already. Second, I have actually watched all of the videos sent to me. Every single one, with the exception of one about the infamous Walt Heyer, has a similar plot. It goes something like, "When I was six my uncle Bobby molested me. At age 14 I became gay. The gay lifestyle led me into drugs, alcoholism, and eventually becoming transgender. In my mid thirties I found Jesus and he set me free from my homosexuality and drug addictions".
As a Christian, I am glad to hear that they found peace and healing in Jesus. I certainly did when I became a Christian 20 some years ago. But it never did anything for my gender dysphoria.
What really bugs me is that every one of them except Walt Heyer blames homosexuality for them having been (or maybe pretended to be?) transgender. At no point in my life have I ever identified as gay. Even as a transgender woman I would say I have become asexual.
Am I the only one who had no history of homosexuality prior to coming out? Not that I have anything against anyone who did identify as homosexual. It just seems to be the common blame assigned to gender dysphoria. If you have gender dysphoria it must mean you have some kind of homosexual tendencies or something.
I have looked into Walt Heyers and the story is a bit more complicated than the one that's out there. It appears that Walt had Dissociative Identity Disorder also known as Multiple Personality Disorder and a female personality took over the body. Often a sexual assault can dissociate the personalities and we have several on this site who have undergone this process. It is possible for someone who is DID to be transgender but in those cases therapy has to be much more intensive to ensure a mistake wasn't made. In Walts case, a good deal of effort was made to avoid the checks in the system and surgery was a mistake. Walts case isn't really about being transgender but about somebody who didn't receive the proper therapy before surgery.
I never considered myself homosexual, prior to transition I only was attracted to women, after transitioning I now identify as bisexual. I haven't read too many of these "ex-trans" narratives, but the few I have sound made up. They just seem to hit too many of the conservative buzzwords and misunderstandings to seem genuine.
Then again if you only know the straw man version of being trans then maybe it is possible for people to think they are when they aren't.
I have never been homosexual.
However, as a mtf attracted only to females, after my transitioning is complete, I may no longer be considered a heterosexual. At least, it seems that would be the case.
But so what the label? I will just be me being me in any case. :)
Hugs,
Chrissy
Prior to coming out to myself, I considered myself an exclusively heterosexual man. Post-transition, I am an exclusively homosexual woman, though mostly asexual.
Ignore the material your "friends" send you. They are wrong. You can't pray gay away, and you can't pray trans away. God made you this way, and He doesn't make mistakes. Think of the Parable of the Talents. Being trans is a gift to us. Do you bury it and hide it, or do you run with it and make something of it?
Your's is VERY similar to my own story.
Quote from: BlueJaye on May 26, 2019, 06:07:56 PM
Something has been bugging me for a while. I came out to my wife last year in March, and in recent months have been cautiously and selectively coming out to friends. I am an evangelical Christian, as are most of my friends. Their reactions have not been as damning as I expected but one thing really bothers me. They keep sending me links to websites and YouTube videos about people who were supposedly "healed" or "set free" from gender dysphoria by Jesus.
First, I am already a Christian and certain if that were God's plan He would have miracled me into a cis body already. Second, I have actually watched all of the videos sent to me. Every single one, with the exception of one about the infamous Walt Heyer, has a similar plot. It goes something like, "When I was six my uncle Bobby molested me. At age 14 I became gay. The gay lifestyle led me into drugs, alcoholism, and eventually becoming transgender. In my mid thirties I found Jesus and he set me free from my homosexuality and drug addictions".
As a Christian, I am glad to hear that they found peace and healing in Jesus. I certainly did when I became a Christian 20 some years ago. But it never did anything for my gender dysphoria.
What really bugs me is that every one of them except Walt Heyer blames homosexuality for them having been (or maybe pretended to be?) transgender. At no point in my life have I ever identified as gay. Even as a transgender woman I would say I have become asexual.
Am I the only one who had no history of homosexuality prior to coming out? Not that I have anything against anyone who did identify as homosexual. It just seems to be the common blame assigned to gender dysphoria. If you have gender dysphoria it must mean you have some kind of homosexual tendencies or something.
I was sexually attracted to men before, but after some experimentation, gay sex did not feel exactly right. I'd always have had questions of my gender and after counseling and self reflection I've realized I wasn't gay, but a heterosexual woman. That is why I am attracted to men.
*raises hand*
Attracted to women as a guy (more because I wanted to be like them and was more emotionally connected with them ). I was never attracted to men sexually when I was living as a guy. I also had zero interest in gay sex.
But I think I'm going to be straight as a woman, but leaving open the possibility that I may become bi.
Sexuality is weird.
Sarah
I was and am sexually attracted to guys. I use to be able to have sex with a woman but needed to imagine I was with a guy.
I don't think I am gay but I guess it would depend on who you spoke to in order to get their definition of gay.
I do know that things that I envied I have obtained and I can do. I do know I no longer have dysphoria. Nor do I have suicidal ideation. But I do not know if I am gay. I guess it would depend on who the person is that is judging me.
Hi BlueJaye,
I've was only ever been interested in women. I didn't find any man appealing whatsoever. With that said, now that I've fully admitted that I'm a transgender, and intend on making a full transition, I've been finding certain men attractive...I would never instigate anything though in my current body. In all of my recent fantasies and even a couple of dreams I've had, I've, been having sex with a man. But I was a complete woman by that time apparently having had my SRS.
So I believe that once I've fully transitioned I'll be bisexual. Only time will tell though.
Hope this helps,
xoxo
Lexxi
Hi Rachel,
From your description I don't think you're gay any longer. You're now a fully heterosexual woman hun. :) :) :)
xoxo
Lexxi
Quote from: Dena on May 26, 2019, 06:45:21 PM
I have looked into Walt Heyers and the story is a bit more complicated than the one that's out there. It appears that Walt had Dissociative Identity Disorder also known as Multiple Personality Disorder and a female personality took over the body. Often a sexual assault can dissociate the personalities and we have several on this site who have undergone this process. It is possible for someone who is DID to be transgender but in those cases therapy has to be much more intensive to ensure a mistake wasn't made. In Walts case, a good deal of effort was made to avoid the checks in the system and surgery was a mistake. Walts case isn't really about being transgender but about somebody who didn't receive the proper therapy before surgery.
Thank you for explaining this on the forum for anyone else who might this guy shoved in their face. I have been sent more than one of his videos via email or Facebook messenger and watched them out of respect for my friends who sent the links.
He states clearly in one of the videos that he never experienced gender dysphoria and was never actually transgender. He had disassociative disorder (or something like that, sorry I'm not an expert on psychological terminology). He's really not even qualified to speak on the subject.
Quote from: KathyLauren on May 26, 2019, 07:26:48 PM
Prior to coming out to myself, I considered myself an exclusively heterosexual man. Post-transition, I am an exclusively homosexual woman, though mostly asexual.
Ignore the material your "friends" send you. They are wrong. You can't pray gay away, and you can't pray trans away. God made you this way, and He doesn't make mistakes. Think of the Parable of the Talents. Being trans is a gift to us. Do you bury it and hide it, or do you run with it and make something of it?
Thank you for saying this. It's a truth we all live with that most cis people don't want to accept.
I also don't want to make sexuality an issue. I just find it frustrating that cis people think that being transgender is somehow connected to who you are sexually attracted to. I have one very close friend who I have been friends with since pre-school. I came out to her first after my wife. I told her more than anyone else besides my wife. Just a few days ago she sent me a Facebook message with a link to same sex attraction support group (I guess for gay people who don't want to be gay?). Message said, "I thought you might be interested in this group".
After everything I have explained to her in great detail, she now thinks I'm gay. Sigh...
Quote from: BlueJaye on May 26, 2019, 08:44:06 PM
I just find it frustrating that cis people think that being transgender is somehow connected to who you are sexually attracted to.
The proper response is that a lesbian or a gay guy doesn't want to change their gender. Sexual preference and gender identity are separate from each other.
Something I picked up a long time ago and I have posted before.
Sexual preference is who you want to go to bed with.
Gender identity is who you want to go to bed as.
Our stories are very similar. I was raised evangelical myself. I was a deacon in my church. I stopped going because of what I saw. I saw Christian's treat each other horribly. I heard their hatred for homosexuals and trans people. It bothered me a great deal because the Jesus I know loved everyone.
I struggled all of my life with Who am I" or "What am I?" My first memory of wearing womens clothes was when I was three. Then again around age 10. I liked to feel pretty. I wished I was a girl. I never told my parents because I knew it would be considered "demonic" influence or possession.
I was severely depressed and even attempted suicide in my teen years. The depression stuck with me throughout my life. Just before my 45th birthday, I decided to start HRT. After a few weeks on estrogen, I felt "right" for the first time in my life. My mind was free of something. I was happy. The depression lessened a great deal. The longer I was on HRT, the better I felt.
It's been 1 year now. I'm so happy with the way I feel that I will not stop taking my meds. Not once did I ever think I was gay. I was never attracted to men. I was always very much interested in women. Christian's dont seem to understand us or want to try. They see us as a perversion, going against God's word. They often use "he created them man and woman" to justify their hatred for us. In my journey over the past year, my views have changed significantly from how I was raised. There is ONE judge. I believe I will stand before him and be accepted for who I have always known I am.
Being transgender doesn't mean you're homosexual. It has nothing to do with your sexual preference at all. I dont think Christian's as a whole will ever understand that. It saddens me greatly.
Mindy
Sent from my SM-G965U using Tapatalk
Quote from: Melinda@heart on May 26, 2019, 09:17:01 PM
Our stories are very similar. I was raised evangelical myself. I was a deacon in my church. I stopped going because of what I saw. I saw Christian's treat each other horribly. I heard their hatred for homosexuals and trans people. It bothered me a great deal because the Jesus I know loved everyone.
I struggled all of my life with Who am I" or "What am I?" My first memory of wearing womens clothes was when I was three. Then again around age 10. I liked to feel pretty. I wished I was a girl. I never told my parents because I knew it would be considered "demonic" influence or possession.
I was severely depressed and even attempted suicide in my teen years. The depression stuck with me throughout my life. Just before my 45th birthday, I decided to start HRT. After a few weeks on estrogen, I felt "right" for the first time in my life. My mind was free of something. I was happy. The depression lessened a great deal. The longer I was on HRT, the better I felt.
It's been 1 year now. I'm so happy with the way I feel that I will not stop taking my meds. Not once did I ever think I was gay. I was never attracted to men. I was always very much interested in women. Christian's dont seem to understand us or want to try. They see us as a perversion, going against God's word. They often use "he created them man and woman" to justify their hatred for us. In my journey over the past year, my views have changed significantly from how I was raised. There is ONE judge. I believe I will stand before him and be accepted for who I have always known I am.
Being transgender doesn't mean you're homosexual. It has nothing to do with your sexual preference at all. I dont think Christian's as a whole will ever understand that. It saddens me greatly.
Mindy
Sent from my SM-G965U using Tapatalk
Thanks for the kind words. It does sound like we have some common ground. I didn't grow up in a Christian home, my mother was agnostic and my father was an ardent atheist. I became a Christian when I was 15. But my struggles with gender dysphoria began when I was two. The overwhelming feeling of the wrongness of my penis while going to the bathroom is literally my earliest memory. I don't remember if I was 6 or 7 the first time I cross dressed. But I do remember the feeling of relief. Even though if I looked in the mirror I knew I looked wrong, it was still nice to at least feel for a few fleeting minutes like I was free to be the "real" me.
I wrote some lengthy posts in the Spirituality/Christianity section last year after I came out. I still retain what would be characterized as a mostly evangelical Christian worldview, but my stance on gender dysphoria and being transgender is at odds with the mainstream views. It is fine to believe that God made the human race male and female in the beginning. I have no problem with that at all. What I do have a problem with is assuming that everything remained perfect after that.
If evangelical Christians can say that they believe the Bible to be inerrant and true, then they must believe the whole thing. And my Bible says that all of creation became a screwed up mess because of sin. It clearly says all of creation. God created the male and female genders, therefore it's only reasonable think that gender falls under the same curse that gave us cleft palates, spina bifida, and club feet.
Call me an apostate but I refuse to believe that Christianity and same sex attraction is sinful. It's just BS.
As as student of history what I ask is WHY Christianity has been so successful?
My conclusion is because despite the evil done in it's name. The wars, the corruption, the cruelty, the inhumanity, when comparing it with religions where God or gods are cruel, vengeful and capricious, Christianity in contrast has always offered a message of hope, love, forgiveness, compassion, fellowship, resurrection, renewal and rebirth. The evil done in the name of Christianity is just the work of evil people.
Homophobia and transphobia are antithetical to the core message of Christianity that has sustained it over the millennia.
I never was interested in men, the thought of being close with a man was very repulsive to me (and it still is). I was as heterosexuell as they come. Now as a woman I will be considered to be a lesbian, because I did not change my sexual orientation. However, in reality, I am mostly asexual.
Logically speaking, who is more likely to understand the phenomenon of being trans? On one hand you have a group that has a stake in the keeping a narrative consistent with the morals of a society 2000 years ago. On the other, you have scientists who believe in the scientific method of collecting data and the experts, us, who have known first hand what being trans is all about. You also have your first hand experience telling you what you know in your head is true. The good news is that there are very cool Christians out there who have emphasized the real message of Jesus and de-emphasized the dogma. I'm not expert on Jesus, but my understanding was he was way more inclusionary than a great many of his followers.
Quote from: HappyMoni on May 26, 2019, 10:42:05 PM
Logically speaking, who is more likely to understand the phenomenon of being trans? On one hand you have a group that has a stake in the keeping a narrative consistent with the morals of a society 2000 years ago. On the other, you have scientists who believe in the scientific method of collecting data and the experts, us, who have known first hand what being trans is all about. You also have your first hand experience telling you what you know in your head is true. The good news is that there are very cool Christians out there who have emphasized the real message of Jesus and de-emphasized the dogma. I'm not expert on Jesus, but my understanding was he was way more inclusionary than a great many of his followers.
I am both transgender and Christian. Both of these parts of my life are equally important to me. They both play a big part in who I am as a person. It's true that there are believers who have oppressed people. On the other hand, not all believers are out to persecute someone. The truth is that there are no perfect Christians just as there are no perfect people.
Danielle
And I identified as straight. I've always been attracted to women. I never really saw myself with a man. Sure, I had a few kinky fantasies, but that's all they were - fantasies. I've fantasized about a lot of non-sexual things that I'd never do in real life. Now that I recognize myself as a transgender woman, I guess I'm not straight after all - I'm a lesbian.
Danielle
Oddly enough I was bi with lesbian leanings before and now I'm strictly lesbian. So I spose I became more 'gay' in the whole process. :)
My view is that gender is the foundation on which sexuality is built.
I lived decades not knowing my gender, so didn't really have a sexuality.
Despite having been married to a woman while still living as my assigned gender (male), the label of heterosexual didn't really mean much to me, I just met those criteria at that time.
Part of my gender transition has been the realisation that I actually identify as pansexual. As a transwoman in a wonderful relationship with another non-binary transwoman I don't even have a label for what our relationship is, neither of us feels that lesbian is the right term for us personally.
What i am is "happy", the rest is labels and really doesn't matter to me :-)
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Quote from: Danielle Kristina on May 26, 2019, 10:59:25 PM
I am both transgender and Christian. Both of these parts of my life are equally important to me. They both play a big part in who I am as a person. It's true that there are believers who have oppressed people. On the other hand, not all believers are out to persecute someone. The truth is that there are no perfect Christians just as there are no perfect people.
Danielle
You're right. No one is perfect. No one is without sin. In all of the churches I went to growing up and in adulthood that is the one thing the majority of church goers seemed to forget. The prevailing attitude was "I'm saved and no longer a sinner. Therefore, it is my duty, according to the bible, to let other church goers know they are in sin." For me, something Paul said always stood out to me. What is a sin for one, may not be a sin for another. I read that and spent sometime meditating on it. In the end I resolved my internal conflicts with what I was taught and what I felt by realizing that God created me and loves me for who I am.
Another verse that I hear used a lot to dispute the transgender issue was "men should not look women and women should not look like men" So, if that's the case, I better change the way I look because I have always known inside, that I am woman.
Sent from my SM-G965U using Tapatalk
Hi
You have to give this friends and family some credit because in their minds they are just looking out for you.
They are afraid that you might make a mistake.
I have been through the whole Jesus can cure you thing also and I am dealing with that again with my ex.
It doesn't take away dysphoria. It never did for me.
I was very female from young in looks and behavior. I liked boys. I can't say that the one came before the other. I can't say that me liking guys made me want to be a woman. Damn I tricked my cousin into playing dress up with her clothes from the age of 6. My aunt allowed me to live as a girl there when I go and visit and even took me too the shops like that.
I made the mistake of getting involved with a woman and having a child and my child is a blessing but my ex is horrible.
She actually admitted that it was my feminine traits that attracted her.
A lot of people asked me are you sure you are not just a feminine gay guy. My answer is no I am not. Gay guys just wanted to get into my pants. I had a couple that invited me to sleep with them to explore if I am not just gay. If I was gay. I would have been with a gay guy and me being a born male wouldn't have bothered me at all and made my life a living hell.
So my tip is see a psychologist to get a proper diagnoses. This helped me a lot.
Quote from: Melinda@heart on May 27, 2019, 07:31:53 AM
You're right. No one is perfect. No one is without sin. In all of the churches I went to growing up and in adulthood that is the one thing the majority of church goers seemed to forget. The prevailing attitude was "I'm saved and no longer a sinner. Therefore, it is my duty, according to the bible, to let other church goers know they are in sin." For me, something Paul said always stood out to me. What is a sin for one, may not be a sin for another. I read that and spent sometime meditating on it. In the end I resolved my internal conflicts with what I was taught and what I felt by realizing that God created me and loves me for who I am.
Another verse that I hear used a lot to dispute the transgender issue was "men should not look women and women should not look like men" So, if that's the case, I better change the way I look because I have always known inside, that I am woman.
Sent from my SM-G965U using Tapatalk
My very favorite niece is a Methodist pastor, and one of my greatest supporters. We talked about this, and she told me that God does not made mistakes, and God made me! And therefore I can't be a mistake but am a part of God's plan!
Who are the people who doubt that God made a mistake by creating me? What do they know about the plans of God?
I wish you all god luck for your acceptance of the people you are around you! I know that I am part of the master plan of God, and can care less what other people feel about me!
Love
Linde
Quote from: Amoré on May 27, 2019, 08:46:30 AM
Hi
You have to give this friends and family some credit because in their minds they are just looking out for you.
They are afraid that you might make a mistake.
I have been through the whole Jesus can cure you thing also and I am dealing with that again with my ex.
It doesn't take away dysphoria. It never did for me.
I was very female from young in looks and behavior. I liked boys. I can't say that the one came before the other. I can't say that me liking guys made me want to be a woman. Damn I tricked my cousin into playing dress up with her clothes from the age of 6. My aunt allowed me to live as a girl there when I go and visit and even took me too the shops like that.
I made the mistake of getting involved with a woman and having a child and my child is a blessing but my ex is horrible.
She actually admitted that it was my feminine traits that attracted her.
A lot of people asked me are you sure you are not just a feminine gay guy. My answer is no I am not. Gay guys just wanted to get into my pants. I had a couple that invited me to sleep with them to explore if I am not just gay. If I was gay. I would have been with a gay guy and me being a born male wouldn't have bothered me at all and made my life a living hell.
So my tip is see a psychologist to get a proper diagnoses. This helped me a lot.
Thank you. This is what I wish people would understand. Gay guys are cisgender men who are attracted to men. Although I personally never found men attractive, a transgender woman who finds men attractive does not see herself a guy who is attracted to men. We all want to live as who we are regardless of who we are attracted to. You didn't want to live as a gay man because you are not a man. Just as I do not want to live as a straight man, because I am not a man. The gay or straight is irrelevant, it's the fact that we need to live as who we are.
Quote from: Megan. on May 27, 2019, 01:03:52 AM
My view is that gender is the foundation on which sexuality is built.
I lived decades not knowing my gender, so didn't really have a sexuality.
What i am is "happy", the rest is labels and really doesn't matter to me :-)
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
@Megan
Wow Megan, I read your first sentence and a light bulb went off in my head! That makes so much sense to my life! I don't know if this is a universal truth, but it sure is true for me. Many thanks!
Moni
Quote from: Danielle Kristina on May 26, 2019, 10:59:25 PM
I am both transgender and Christian. Both of these parts of my life are equally important to me. They both play a big part in who I am as a person. It's true that there are believers who have oppressed people. On the other hand, not all believers are out to persecute someone. The truth is that there are no perfect Christians just as there are no perfect people.
Danielle
Danielle, don't get me wrong, I might have sounded a bit harsh in my comment but I do respect people of faith generally. I draw the line in my respect when people use religion to hurt others or create laws to take people's rights away. Everyone makes mistakes, but I lose patience when someone continually harms others in the name of a religion.
Quote from: BlueJaye on May 27, 2019, 09:46:22 AM
Thank you. This is what I wish people would understand. Gay guys are cisgender men who are attracted to men. Although I personally never found men attractive, a transgender woman who finds men attractive does not see herself a guy who is attracted to men. We all want to live as who we are regardless of who we are attracted to. You didn't want to live as a gay man because you are not a man. Just as I do not want to live as a straight man, because I am not a man. The gay or straight is irrelevant, it's the fact that we need to live as who we are.
We as transgender people have to accept also that some people won't ever accept us for who we are. I learned one important lesson. You can't bash people into accepting you it comes out of their own choice. If they don't let them be. Sometimes they do come around.
When I started my transition people was very confused by what I am because even before hormones I passed. So they forced me to dress super male to make everyone more comfortable. I then was told okay you are confusing the crap out of people so come to work female dressed but use the males bathroom so I did without arguing. I did it out of respect for everyone and woman. A month in they held a secret meeting and everyone voted without me asking for it to move me to the female bathroom. They stated that I am female out of their own except for one guy that was really nasty to me. I let him be and carried myself in a professional manner.
3 months later he came to me with a box of chocolates and gave me a hug and said he is sorry for how he treated me I earned his respect. He respects me as a woman because I carried myself like a woman I give off female vibes. Even though he misgendered me all the time before that. He corrected it out of his own.
He explained that he was scared that I would force him to be attracted to me. I told him nope you don't have to stress I accept that not all men are into trans woman. I respect them for their preference.
Quote from: Amoré on May 27, 2019, 10:29:41 AM
We as transgender people have to accept also that some people won't ever accept us for who we are. I learned one important lesson. You can't bash people into accepting you it comes out of their own choice. If they don't let them be. Sometimes they do come around.
When I started my transition people was very confused by what I am because even before hormones I passed. So they forced me to dress super male to make everyone more comfortable. I then was told okay you are confusing the crap out of people so come to work female dressed but use the males bathroom so I did without arguing. I did it out of respect for everyone and woman. A month in they held a secret meeting and everyone voted without me asking for it to move me to the female bathroom. They stated that I am female out of their own except for one guy that was really nasty to me. I let him be and carried myself in a professional manner.
3 months later he came to me with a box of chocolates and gave me a hug and said he is sorry for how he treated me I earned his respect. He respects me as a woman because I carried myself like a woman I give off female vibes. Even though he misgendered me all the time before that. He corrected it out of his own.
He explained that he was scared that I would force him to be attracted to me. I told him nope you don't have to stress I accept that not all men are into trans woman. I respect them for their preference.
That's a very nice story. I wish all people could be as objective as the chocolate box guy.
Quote from: HappyMoni on May 27, 2019, 10:17:43 AM
Danielle, don't get me wrong, I might have sounded a bit harsh in my comment but I do respect people of faith generally. I draw the line in my respect when people use religion to hurt others or create laws to take people's rights away. Everyone makes mistakes, but I lose patience when someone continually harms others in the name of a religion.
Moni, you're fine! And I agree that many Christians misinterpret the Bible, sometimes because they are grossly misinformed and sometimes for satisfaction of personal agendas. The Bible even warns of "wolves in sheep's clothing." Just because a church, a person, or even an entire group of people claim to be Christians and quote Scripture does not mean that they are true believers. Unfortunately, the evils of a few ruin the reputations of many. The same argument is made in defense of Muslims, as people argue that the radical Islamic terrorist cells are only a fraction of the religion. The radicals just get the majority of the attention. Christianity itself does not condone oppression or persecution of anyone. People choose to do those things themselves.
Danielle
I didn't identify as anything. I knew I had a bisexual nature, but sexual nature in general was curtailed by the trans condition. There was no point identifying and seeking.
When I ended up in a relationship with a man, it was assumed to be a straight relationship. Now I'm assumed to be gay, although I myself haven't changed at all. My bisexual nature remains unchanged. I realized that categories like this were for more useful for others than they ever were for me.
Quote from: Melinda@heart on May 26, 2019, 09:17:01 PM
I struggled all of my life with Who am I" or "What am I?" My first memory of wearing womens clothes was when I was three. Then again around age 10. I liked to feel pretty. I wished I was a girl. I never told my parents because I knew it would be considered "demonic" influence or possession.
I was severely depressed and even attempted suicide in my teen years. The depression stuck with me throughout my life. Just before my 45th birthday, I decided to start HRT. After a few weeks on estrogen, I felt "right" for the first time in my life. My mind was free of something. I was happy. The depression lessened a great deal. The longer I was on HRT, the better I felt.
It's been 1 year now. I'm so happy with the way I feel that I will not stop taking my meds. Not once did I ever think I was gay. I was never attracted to men. I was always very much interested in women. Christian's dont seem to understand us or want to try. They see us as a perversion, going against God's word. They often use "he created them man and woman" to justify their hatred for us. In my journey over the past year, my views have changed significantly from how I was raised. There is ONE judge. I believe I will stand before him and be accepted for who I have always known I am.
Being transgender doesn't mean you're homosexual. It has nothing to do with your sexual preference at all. I dont think Christian's as a whole will ever understand that. It saddens me greatly.
Mindy
Sent from my SM-G965U using Tapatalk
Hello again Mindy
I agree absolutely with your thoughts. I am a traditional Christian (as opposed to evangelical) and I have encountered the 3 problems to which you refer from evangelicals:
1. They don't like either gay people or trans people.
2. They are in the habit of regularly judging people negatively.
3. They do not understand that gender identity and sexual orientation are 2 separate subjects.
I had a similar childhood history to you in that I always wished to have been born a girl and told my grandmother aged 4 and all my adult life I crossdressed and bodyshaved and was depressed for decades.
However we are both on the right road now and I am thankful to God for that!
Hugs
Pamela xx
Quote from: BlueJaye on May 26, 2019, 06:07:56 PM
At no point in my life have I ever identified as gay. Even as a transgender woman I would say I have become asexual.
Am I the only one who had no history of homosexuality prior to coming out? Not that I have anything against anyone who did identify as homosexual. It just seems to be the common blame assigned to gender dysphoria. If you have gender dysphoria it must mean you have some kind of homosexual tendencies or something.
Hello again BlueJaye
Thank you for starting this really interesting thread.
I am sure you knew anyway and this thread proves that so many of us have not had homosexual tendencies before transition and the hypothesis to which you refer is false. These people sadly do not understand that for most of us gender identity and sexual orientation are 2 separate subjects. I also have nothing against gay people.
Previously I was asexual with a minor attraction to women and now I realize I am and always have been asexual with minor lesbian tendencies. I have always preferred women for friendship only.
Hugs
Pamela xx
I considered myself cis hetero male. I did not realize until recently that the women I dated, and the first one I married, I wanted to BE. Needless to say, what I considered "Attraction" was envy and that cross wiring was hell to sort out. Glad I did get it sorted though.
Of all my friends and family, the only one to give me grief is my "Christian" baby sister. Christ at no point said "Love the sinner hate the sin". I do recall the book very few Christians read, let along practice, mentioning "Love thy Neighbor".
Recent studies show that Evangelicals Gen-x and older has a 25% acceptance of LGB and much less for trans. Younger members have about a 50% acceptance rate across the board. I believe what you experienced was not acceptance, or even nonchalance. As per your mention that multiple people are sending you 'you can be "Cured" by Jesus' videos, they see you as an opportunity to "heal" you and get some awesome publicity for their Church. If that dose not work, they can always kick you to the curb later at no cost because the god they worship hates you and thinks you are "broken"
Here is a story of a women who encountered evangelicals. While you may decide not to do something similar, knowing what The Book really says can give you strength. It's an epic read:
https://www.thelily.com/im-transgender-and-christian-heres-what-i-did-when-evangelicals-tried-to-pray-for-me/
Hugs,
Ricki
I was often told I was the 'f-word' by other kids, and I think they guessed something was off and so did I. I didnt think I was gay, but then as I got older I started to think 'I guess I am a lesbian in a boys body?'
how naive I was to say that and not know what a trans person was at the time...
Quote from: jaybutterfly on May 29, 2019, 01:32:26 PMas I got older I started to think 'I guess I am a lesbian in a boys body?'
how naive I was to say that and not know what a trans person was at the time...
I totally get that. I thought exactly the same thing, and it didn't click with me either. Can you say "denial"? :-\
I realised I am gay , mostly, shortly before realising i'm trans male.
I thought before that i was a badly wired mostly hetero cis female .
As in, i could't figure out why i was feeling out of place before, in myself , and why i felt people were responding to me in ways that didn't feel right. I never could put.my finger on it.
But suddenly things just clicked quite fast after one another.
So i went from faux- straight to gay in a few days time.
Quote from: jaybutterfly on May 29, 2019, 01:32:26 PM
I was often told I was the 'f-word' by other kids, and I think they guessed something was off and so did I. I didnt think I was gay, but then as I got older I started to think 'I guess I am a lesbian in a boys body?'
how naive I was to say that and not know what a trans person was at the time...
Quote from: KathyLauren on May 29, 2019, 02:59:47 PM
I totally get that. I thought exactly the same thing, and it didn't click with me either. Can you say "denial"? :-\
I will triple validate that comment coming out of my mouth. Though in my case it was not so much denial as repression. I feel I was attempting to send myself a clue. Being 16? 17?, I totally missed it.
Hindsight while more accurate, tends to be painful too.
Ricki
Edit: I had a thought while re-reading the post about some groups claiming faith having a hard time wrapping their little indoctrinated brains that being Trans is not fundamentally wrong.
Perhaps to give them a taste, we should get "Evangelical" listed in the DSM-7 listed as a mental illness. Perhaps something like "Yahweh Misconception Disorder". Very large men and women could then come to their houses and "Reprogram" them into functional, caring, Christians. We could call it "Revelation Therapy".
Pipe dream.
oooh Ricki I like the idea of having Evangelical listed in the DSM-7. That would explain sooooo much to future generations.
Great idea!!
Lexxi
xoxo
Quote from: Ricki Wright on May 29, 2019, 11:16:39 AM
I considered myself cis hetero male. I did not realize until recently that the women I dated, and the first one I married, I wanted to BE. Needless to say, what I considered "Attraction" was envy and that cross wiring was hell to sort out. Glad I did get it sorted though.
Recent studies show that Evangelicals Gen-x and older has a 25% acceptance of LGB and much less for trans. Younger members have about a 50% acceptance rate across the board.
Hugs,
Ricki
Hello again Ricki
Yes I felt the same way. My attraction was primarily envy and still is. In simple terms it is matter of wanting to BE.
Thank you for the statistics on evangelicals. I know there is an age difference in thinking on many subjects even by evangelicals but I am pleasantly surprised at the 50% rate for the young. Perhaps this is because the young have not (yet) become as brainwashed as the old ones!
Hugs
Pamela xx
Quote from: pamelatransuk on May 30, 2019, 04:08:41 AM
Hello again Ricki
Yes I felt the same way. My attraction was primarily envy and still is. In simple terms it is matter of wanting to BE.
Thank you for the statistics on evangelicals. I know there is an age difference in thinking on many subjects even by evangelicals but I am pleasantly surprised at the 50% rate for the young. Perhaps this is because the young have not (yet) become as brainwashed as the old ones!
Hugs
Pamela xx
I believe it has something to do with more sources of information available to the "young". Think about it: in the 70's and even much of the 80's we had what inputs? Parents, family, school, some tv or maybe cable. If that was all aligned to say the same hateful message, it would sink in pretty fast. With the internet and social media, messages like that get challenged real time by tweens and teens with their peers who are probably saying "Say what?!? NO!" or even better, an lgbt peer is who give these Evan-g kids something else to think about. Hard to hate something when people you like, and who like you, are "That something to be hated". Hatred can be diluted and even expunged with the truth, but only before it hardens.
Sadly, that power can be used for evil too. Misinformation can be spread just as fast and do so much damage. This is why credible news outlets are so precious to our democracy in the US.
We live in interesting times,
Ricki
Yes Ricki you have a well thought out and relevant point there and thank God that, as you say hatred can be diluted and even expunged with the truth.
Hugs
Pamela