Just tonight I was with my kids as a side kick while they took their little boy to do the talk to Santa thing.
Frequently I notice a lady how she is dressed and how she looks and it triggers strong anxiety within myself. I get a mixture of jealousy, depression and anger. My whole body just gets tensed up and it takes about 30 minutes to get past this after she leaves sight. Not all women do this to me just something about the way a specific woman is dressed does this to me. This happened to me tonight and caught me off guard, when I felt this coming on I just ducked in the mens room to get away from the sight of her.
Now,,, when I get to be out in public wearing leggings, tights or even a skirt and sometimes with a bra, otherwise in male mode I never have had this unwanted emotional feeling come over me. This just comes over on me when I have on jeans or just shorts just in male mode all around. I hate it when It hits me. What set me off tonight she had on a short skirt and black tights and long boots with heels. I really like to wear a skirt and I love black leg wear and I was a jealous person because I could not dress as she can.
We likely have dysphoria all the time, but just don't recognise it. When it is in the background it doesn't dominate our thoughts, but just puts a slight shadow over things. When we see someone attractive, it can remind us that in our eyes, we are not, and this can trigger a severe bad feeling. Getting away from the visual stimulus was probably the best thing to do, but you should remember what triggers you so you can avoid it in future, if possible.
Hugs,
Allie
Hi She She,
I've never experienced this but it sounds like it's pretty common. If I read this right, you said that you don't experience this when you have a bra on but otherwise in male mode. I've been wearing bra's (and panties) long before I had any desire to venture into public with a skirt or dress. I don't think I've gone more than a half a dozen days total in the last 2 years without a bra on. In the years preceding that I almost always had one on too. I've gotten to a place where I need to wear a bra on a daily basis, and not because of breast development.
I'm wondering if I'd be triggered too, if I went a number of days without one?
Do you think wearing a bra on a regular basis would help you avoid your dysphoria attacks? Is this something you could do/try? There are some bras out there that are hard to detect under a loose fitting shirt. Ones with the strap adjusters in the front help avoid the little bulges on your back, for instance.
Warm Regards,
Paulie
Dysphoria is the absolute worst. I still get it from time to time. We all do. It doesn't matter how well we pass or don't pass.
What you need to realize though is if you are your authentic self you are beautiful.
It really depends on the shirt and the bra if they are going to be noticeable or not. It's doable. For a good six months I managed it. It became more of a problem when presenting male because of my development and not because of the materials. Sports bras tend to look like undershirts so they don't give things away.
Are you transitioning?
Not only just a bra but other items help such as leggings or 40den tights under my shorts when Iam out in the world. When I have on such items and I find myself in close quarters of women such as standing in line and they have leggings on or a skirt I do not have this mental issue. I feel even better when they notice me but act like there is nothing different,, it makes me feel just like one of the girls and that feels DAM good to me.
That time I was in Walmart,,, hot summer time,,, and a cute 40s something lady singled me out and stopped me and told me how cool it was to see me in a skirt. I had on a denim skirt that was just above my knees. I will never forget that day, and how it made me feel.
Quote from: NatalieRene on December 09, 2024, 07:04:24 AMDysphoria is the absolute worst. I still get it from time to time. We all do. It doesn't matter how well we pass or don't pass.
What you need to realize though is if you are your authentic self you are beautiful.
It really depends on the shirt and the bra if they are going to be noticeable or not. It's doable. For a good six months I managed it. It became more of a problem when presenting male because of my development and not because of the materials. Sports bras tend to look like undershirts so they don't give things away.
Are you transitioning?
No Iam not transitioning, I would loose what little family I have
Yes I have those bad dysphoria moments too.
Chrissy
Quote from: she she on December 08, 2024, 10:47:29 PMFrequently I notice a lady how she is dressed and how she looks and it triggers strong anxiety within myself. I get a mixture of jealousy, depression and anger. My whole body just gets tensed up and it takes about 30 minutes to get past this after she leaves sight. Not all women do this to me just something about the way a specific woman is dressed does this to me. This happened to me tonight and caught me off guard, when I felt this coming on I just ducked in the mens room to get away from the sight of her.
Welcome to womanhood, sweetie. As you say:
QuoteNow,,, when I get to be out in public wearing leggings, tights or even a skirt and sometimes with a bra, otherwise in male mode I never have had this unwanted emotional feeling come over me. This just comes over on me when I have on jeans or just shorts just in male mode all around. I hate it when It hits me. What set me off tonight she had on a short skirt and black tights and long boots with heels. I really like to wear a skirt and I love black leg wear and I was a jealous person because I could not dress as she can.
This happens to a lot of women. I would argue it isn't so much dysphoria as it is plain envy. Which... it's extremely common. You were envious of not being able to look the way you know you can look. To feel as... ravishing as you know you can be. Sweetie, I am going to argue this specific case wasn't dysphoria as much as it was just being envious of someone not having to do social occasions where you can't let your natural flair and beauty shine.
Let me ask you a question. What bothered you most? The clothing or her being female?
I think it was about equal, they complimented each other.