Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: FreyaLinBella on March 05, 2025, 04:57:57 AM

Title: I needed this so badly
Post by: FreyaLinBella on March 05, 2025, 04:57:57 AM
It's a calmness I've never felt. So much stress has been lifted. My anxiety, fears, and worries feel manageable now. My future doesn't seem so bleak. I know I'll make it through everything.

I no longer want to crawl into bed and rot.

Before, I didn't feel like I was truly female. In my heart, yes. Doubt controlled me. I never felt worthy. Despite my best efforts, I just felt like a man in makeup.

I could only focus on the BS hand I was dealt.

I feel valid, for the first time in my life. It's so surreal. I needed this so badly.

I'm two weeks into HRT.

I don't feel negativity like I did before. I can sleep. I dance doing my house chores. I sway back and forth for no reason. I love how soft I feel. I enjoy things.

I can't stop smiling.

Is this what euphoria feels like?
Title: Re: I needed this so badly
Post by: Allie Jayne on March 05, 2025, 05:17:22 AM
I know exactly how you feel!I resisted my needs for over 60 years, and the stress ruined my health. I was scheduled to be admitted to hospital for a respiratory illness and my doctor decided to try Estrogen as a 'Hail Mary'. 4 days after starting HRT, my chest CT scans were normal after months of abnormality. My doctors decided my illness was due to chronic stress from dysphoria which was relieved by HRT.

For the next month, I felt better than I could ever remember. I realised this was Euphoria. For me, it didn't last. All of the fears I had which caused me to resist transition came flooding back, and it took months to find peace.

Enjoy the period of euphoria, but make sure you have a way forward.

Hugs,

Allie
Title: Re: I needed this so badly
Post by: Lilis on March 05, 2025, 05:56:00 AM
Quote from: FreyaLinBella on March 05, 2025, 04:57:57 AMI can't stop smiling.

Is this what euphoria feels like?
It sounds like you're describing a deep sense of relief, validation, and joy that comes from aligning with your true self.

When I shared a similar moment with my therapist, he said:

'Now you know who you were meant to be!'

It was the first time I ever saw him smile, and I couldn't help but jump into his arms and hug him.

He also warned me about lingering psychosomatic struggles from both the past and future, reminding me to fully embrace and enjoy this moment while it lasts.

Reading your experience is making me emotional, l am literally crying, it's truly heartwarming to witness someone else going through this transformation in real time.
Title: Re: I needed this so badly
Post by: ChrissyRyan on March 05, 2025, 07:21:12 AM
Quote from: FreyaLinBella on March 05, 2025, 04:57:57 AMIt's a calmness I've never felt. So much stress has been lifted. My anxiety, fears, and worries feel manageable now. My future doesn't seem so bleak. I know I'll make it through everything.

I no longer want to crawl into bed and rot.

Before, I didn't feel like I was truly female. In my heart, yes. Doubt controlled me. I never felt worthy. Despite my best efforts, I just felt like a man in makeup.

I could only focus on the BS hand I was dealt.

I feel valid, for the first time in my life. It's so surreal. I needed this so badly.

I'm two weeks into HRT.

I don't feel negativity like I did before. I can sleep. I dance doing my house chores. I sway back and forth for no reason. I love how soft I feel. I enjoy things.

I can't stop smiling.

Is this what euphoria feels like?


I am happy to read that you are feeling really good now!

Chrissy
Title: Re: I needed this so badly
Post by: Lori Dee on March 05, 2025, 07:25:58 AM
Quote from: Lilis on March 05, 2025, 05:56:00 AM'Now you know who you were meant to be!'

Mine said, "It should never be difficult just to be who you are."

I remember my first 30 days on HRT, and I felt the same as you, Freya. I was told that feeling like this is a sure sign that you are on the right path.

Now, after years of HRT, things are less giddy. I think it is because I have become myself, so I don't notice the difference anymore. The old me is gone and almost forgotten, so now it is just me.
Title: Re: I needed this so badly
Post by: ChrissyRyan on March 05, 2025, 07:35:53 AM
Quote from: Lori Dee on March 05, 2025, 07:25:58 AMMine said, "It should never be difficult just to be who you are."

I remember my first 30 days on HRT, and I felt the same as you, Freya. I was told that feeling like this is a sure sign that you are on the right path.

Now, after years of HRT, things are less giddy. I think it is because I have become myself, so I don't notice the difference anymore. The old me is gone and almost forgotten, so now it is just me.


Yes, I agree.  Now it is just me. 

Although I still enjoy receiving each new refill.  It is a pleasant affirmation.


Chrissy
Title: Re: I needed this so badly
Post by: Lilis on March 05, 2025, 08:53:35 AM
Quote from: Lori Dee on March 05, 2025, 07:25:58 AMMine said, "It should never be difficult just to be who you are."
Yes, this! 🫂

QuoteI was told that feeling like this is a sure sign that you are on the right path.
And this, I haven't looked back since! 💓

QuoteNow, after years of HRT, things are less giddy. I think it is because I have become myself, so I don't notice the difference anymore. The old me is gone and almost forgotten, so now it is just me.
This is my ultimate goal, thank you, Lori! 💓
Title: Re: I needed this so badly
Post by: tgirlamg on March 05, 2025, 01:38:07 PM
Welcome To Your Life Sister... It has been patiently waiting for you to seek it out!... Enjoy it all and let every moment be an adventure!

Onward!

Ashley 💕
Title: Re: I needed this so badly
Post by: ChrissyRyan on March 09, 2025, 10:35:49 AM
HRT has helped me.  I wish it had shaped my body more but it has helped me in that regard.