Because of changing (lessening by some) societal acceptance of transgender people, notable here in early 2025, have you considered detransitioning or pausing your transitioning?
One wonders for us who are NOT far along on our transitioning journeys that this thought has entered some of our minds.
There is angst out there. I wish each of us the best.
Hugs,
Chrissy
I have not considered stopping or detransitioning from where I am in my journey. I've fought too hard to even think of somehow squeezing myself back into the place I was hidden in for all those decades.
I recognize that my journey may become more difficult, and that others will have to make their own choices, but I will not stop becoming who I know myself to be.
My time at the Keystone Conference last month convinced me that there are many supportive and tolerant people out there and that we still can be accepted as we are.
It is not possible for me.
I am not trying to become someone else and am not thinking of turning back. I am just being myself.
Every part of my transition is about expressing myself. I may do it less "flagrantly" at times for safety reasons, but now that I know who I am, I can't go back to being someone I am not. It took me too long to figure this much out.
"Maybe the journey isn't so much about becoming anything. Maybe it's about un-becoming everything that isn't really you so that you can be who you were meant to be in the first place."
Amen, Sister!
Quote from: Lori Dee on April 16, 2025, 12:03:30 PMI am not trying to become someone else and am not thinking of turning back. I am just being myself.
Every part of my transition is about expressing myself. I may do it less "flagrantly" at times for safety reasons, but now that I know who I am, I can't go back to being someone I am not. It took me too long to figure this much out.
I understand why someone might consider detransitioning. Given the worsening political climate, no shame on them if they do. I totally understand.
But I cannot ever go back. Pretending to be someone I was not for all those years was just so harmful to me. I can't go back there. While I had never been suicidal, one of the things that prompted me to get off my butt and transition was the realization that I could not guarantee that that would always be the case. That's as dark as my thought process has ever been, and it may sound tame to some. But I cannot ever risk finding out.
I am 70 now. I hope I never have to live in an old folks home. But if I do, I want to do so as me, the person I am today. I shudder in horror at the thought of having to be in a home as the guy I pretended to be for so long. I won't do it. If they send me off to the gulag for disobeying a bathroom restriction, so be it, but I will go as Kathy.
I try not to listen to the noise. I know it's there, but I still move forward. I have no idea what lies ahead. Am I concerned, Yes. Tomorrow is another day. I plan to continue on my path. Where I end up, I will find out when I get there. This is my journey to take. I don't have any intention to turn back. I don't know what my future holds for me, but I know whatever it is, I will face it the best I can. I know where my mindset is and that is all I can have. Too many years have past. It's my time.
Trying to appear more male is more dangerous for me it as puts in the "uncanny valley" between male and female.
Today I helped a gray haired lady find bread crumbs in the grocery store and she clearly gendered me as female.
Who would ask a guy where to find stuff in a grocery store?
Quote from: Maid Marion on April 16, 2025, 06:25:47 PMTrying to appear more male is more dangerous for me it as puts in the "uncanny valley" between male and female.
Today I helped a gray haired lady find bread crumbs in the grocery store and she clearly gendered me as female.
Who would ask a guy where to find stuff in a grocery store?
I might ask a male if he was wearing the same grocery store's name badge.
But I see your point.
I couldn't go back to pretending to be something that I'm not. Once I started expressing my true self, there was no going back. I'm much happier and confident now that I'm expressing my true self. :D
The thought has crossed my mind but I don't think I would be happier if I detransitioned.
I guess my attitude toward Trump being in office is that he is just the latest following. This has been a thing people have always done but when he's out the next thing comes along.
I can't see it myself but apparently I pass well enough to continue without worrying too much. That does put me in a privileged place which I am grateful for.
No. Resoundingly no.
Not that I'm militant about my status. I count my self lucky that I'm old enough I just don't flout my gender. I'm comfortable with who I am and how I present to the world. If you want to laugh go right ahead. I stay out of the shadows and don't put myself in harms way. Or at least I've been able to avoid trouble to date.
I know who I am, who I was, and who I want to be. Again maybe my confidence is age related.
Quote from: Athena on April 17, 2025, 12:59:59 PMI can't see it myself but apparently I pass well enough to continue without worrying too much. That does put me in a privileged place which I am grateful for.
That is nice you pass well.
Chrissy
It took everything I had to begin this journey. And I am still at the beginning. I'm afraid that if I took a step backward, I would fall off a cliff I've struggled nearly a decade to climb. Maybe KathyLauren and I can be cellmates in the gulag.
I'm far enough along (almost 10 years HRT, plus SRS) that it would be very hard to go back.
Not that I would consider it. I might flee the country (USA), I might end up murdered by the regime, but I won't go back.
For my point of view , we can accept people choice, whatever they want to be... Only some are the problem bcoz their religion...
But I think we should support avery decision , so, this world will be better place.
Thanks to all for your sharing out so far.
I transitioned to reduce dysphoria, not to be anyone other than who I was. After my genital surgery, my dysphoria was sufficiently reduced, and I considered detransitioning to try to prevent my wife from leaving me. I thought about it for a couple of months, and realised that the changes had been too much for her, so more changes were unlikely to help. I also realised that I had put my other loved ones through a lot to accept and support me, and switching back now would likely hurt or confuse them, and my credibility would be lost.
Looking back, I think if I could have had my genital surgery prior to coming out to everyone, I might not have needed to socially transition. This is why I believe that real life tests as a prerequisite for surgery are not needed as we are all different.
I don't believe society attitudes in my country have changed much since I started transition 6 years ago.
Hugs,
Allie
I was at Dooggies, my favorite place for hot dogs, and a lady asked what she could eat besides hot dogs.
I suggested the Philly Cheese steak and the cashier said that was her favorite after eating thousands of hot dogs over the years. Instead, she had exactly what I was eating. A fish sandwich with lettuce and melted American cheese. I'll have what she has.
Detransition, no. But I'm facing the near certainty that my ID is going to be changed back.
Quote from: Devlyn on May 24, 2025, 02:04:49 PMDetransition, no. But I'm facing the near certainty that my ID is going to be changed back.
I was worried that mine might get changed too. Fortunately, I received my birth certificate and it is a certified copy. If they try to go back and reverse the state records, I still have a certified copy. If they try to change my passport or other ID, I can challenge it with my birth certificate.
Before I might have trusted that. Our records are most likely in the hands of the administration.
For many people the best option available was an amended copy of their birth certificate. There's no hiding from that.
Hugs, Devlyn
Quote from: Devlyn on May 24, 2025, 02:21:15 PMFor many people the best option available was an amended copy of their birth certificate.
That was my concern, that it would say "amended" or "corrected copy". But I got lucky and it doesn't say that and has both name and sex changed. Some states won't do that.
What they have and what you have may not be the same.
Quote from: Devlyn on May 24, 2025, 02:39:47 PMWhat they have and what you have may not be the same.
Well, obviously, what they have is wrong. ;D
Quote from: Devlyn on May 24, 2025, 02:04:49 PMDetransition, no. But I'm facing the near certainty that my ID is going to be changed back.
Can they do that in Spain?