I'm just curious if anybody has wondered why they are TS besides me. I suppose for me accepting what I am and who I am involves finding out why. Maybe its so (like Kate said "So we have something to point at and that is why we must do what we are doing") we have a really good excuse to justify transitioning to others for acceptance. I've read the theories out there and seems as though this one is quite convincing...
http://jcem.endojournals.org/cgi/content/full/85/5/2034
and here
http://www.symposion.com/ijt/ijtc0106.htm
I'm seriously considering getting an MRI to see if my hypothalamus is smaller then a genetic males.
I'm sure many here will ask "Does it matter?"
My wife asked "Does it matter? If it is does, will that change your diagnosis? If it isn't, does it change your diagnosis? You will still be TS either way". I am what I am but I would really like to know. It would seem like they have found something and it would point to a biological issue.
Honestly I believe if I found mine was smaller it would bring me peace and if it wasnt I could follow a different path and find answers there to find that peace. And being at peace with one's self is important. Therefore it would be important to me to find that peace.
Discovering either way does not mean I would choose the path of transition or choose the path of staying what I have been for 37 years either. I do not know if it would sway me either way. I think If I could find that peace of mind, It would help me to make a better decision and rest, settle down, and relax knowing I have found that inner peace. It would help me live with the choice I made. I'd have something to blame I guess and be able to say "I know what is causing this!!"
We probably all do.
If my view of things is correct I know why I am, and by my own hand as it were no less. If I am wrong, well...
*shrug*
No, it does not matter to me at all... It's a bit like my bondage fetish (ooh dark secret!). I don't like that I like it, nor can I totally explain why I do, but I do know that I do, so *shrug* Hay if I like it I like it. In the same vein, if I am, I am.
This is sort of odd really given I normally buck the system pretty hard... any system. *shrug* Mayhaps I am just to tired and worn out to care anymore.
There are actually a few things in my life like that... there just isn't logic to explain them to my satisfaction...
*shrug*
Perhaps this is like trying to explain why I like mint chocolate chip ice cream.
Hello Lori.
It's a good bet that there are many of us who have often wondered why they are TS. I think along similar lines as Kimberly. It doesn't concern me at this point in my life why I am TS. Maybe in the future when life settles down some, but then it probably never will :). Maybe it's the fear that I may find out something I don't like, who knows.
Quote from: Lori(like Kate said "So we have something to point at and that is why we must do what we are doing") we have a really good excuse to justify transitioning to others for acceptance.
I'm afraid that I don't need any excuse, good, bad or otherwise to justify transitioning or who and what I am to gain others acceptance. They have two choices, they either accept me for me or they don't :) If they don't then so be it, their loss.
Steph
I have wondered about this as well. I know that some have tried to prove a biological factor but nobody to date has come up with anything concrete. Joan Roughgarden has written an interesting book, "Evolutions Rainbow". I suspect that there may not be a biological "marker" for TS.
Quote from: Lori on March 17, 2006, 05:39:47 AM
I'm just curious if anybody has wondered why they are TS besides me.
It's crossed my mind now and then, lol...
On the flip side, if you can't prove what it IS, it's been helpful for me to prove what it ISN'T - at least in my case. That is, to make sure it's not a crossdressing fetish gone mad, an attempt to escape from maleness, a desire for female parts to play with, an excuse to wear sexy clothes, a need to express a feminine side, a self-mutilation compulsion, an envy of cultural female roles, and so on. The "True Selves" book has an interesting list of questions to test yourself against.
If you keep your eyes open, you can also see similarities - and differences - versus other people who identify as TS. Which is why I'm luvin' all these hypothetical question threads! They really help me root out my own motivations and fears.
But when you get down to asking WHY? At this point, I hate to say it, but it's becoming a matter of faith for me. Not in a religious sense, but in a trusting my heart sense. I was literally born with IT, whatever IT is, as I can't remember a time when I wasn't thinking about this. Whatever the cause, it's part of what makes me ME.
The only tiny, perhaps insignificant physical clue I've found for myself is that I have a minor case of hypospadias (pee hole located well below the center). The current theory is that this is caused by incomplete virilization while in the womb, so... might be a clue. Might not. I'm pretty much off-center in a lot of ways, lol...
Posted at: March 17, 2006, 10:21:43 AM
You might find this interesting: http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/03/09/60minutes/main1385230.shtml
I can't stand Bailey, and they're confusing sexual orientation with gender identity a bit... but it's still interesting:
Dr. Breedlove says he can take a male rat and make it behave like a female for the rest of its life, and vice versa for a female, just by altering the hormones it's exposed to at birth. Because rats are born underdeveloped, that's roughly the same as altering a third-trimester human fetus in the womb. But first, he said, Stahl would need a crash course in rat sex.
Dr. Breedlove explained that male rats, including one he showed Stahl called "Romeo," will mount any rat that comes their way. In the mating process, the female performs something called lordosis, where she lifts her head and rump.
If Romeo goes after a male, Dr. Breedlove says the male will seem profoundly indifferent.
But Breedlove says he can change all that. He gave a female rat a single shot of the male sex hormone testosterone at birth. Now grown up, she will never perform lordosis.
But a male rat did. He was castrated at birth, depriving him of testosterone.
"So you created a gay rat?" Stahl asked.
"I wouldn't say that these are gay rats. But I will say that these are genetic male rats who are showing much more feminine behavior," he explained.
So the answer may be that it's not genes but hormones.
http://www.tsroadmap.com/info/j-michael-bailey.html
http://www.tsroadmap.com/info/ ->-bleeped-<-.html
I'd heard about Breedlove's rats long before the 60 Minutes segment, specifically the biological male with the lordosis response, and my first thought was wow, that rat is like me. (Now I know that it's a little more complex than that.)
I've also seen it mentioned that there's correlation between prenatal hormone levels and the ratios of finger lengths. My ratios are typical for a woman, as are those of the post transition TS women I've heard from. So as far as finding a cause, I think it's as good an explanation as any.
But then that implies that if I had developed "normally" I'd have been a man. :o Not exactly the most pleasant thought, but actually it wouldn't be me sitting here. Someone else would exist in my place. :)
Quote from: umop ap!sdn on March 17, 2006, 11:39:44 AM
I've also seen it mentioned that there's correlation between prenatal hormone levels and the ratios of finger lengths. My ratios are typical for a woman, as are those of the post transition TS women I've heard from.
That's where a woman typically has longer pointer fingers vs. ring fingers, yes? If so, I fail :( Mine are CLOSE, but... male. Drat.
I DO have child-bearing hips (pelvis), however, lol. There's some goofy test about sitting cross-legged as a woman would (knee on top of knee). Now see if you can easily hook your dangling foot behind your other leg. Supposedly men often can't do it because they don't have the wider pelvis.
I have male finger length ratios. It wouldn't surprise me if there were a number of possible causes or contributing factors, though.
And, as others have pointed out, regardless of cause, we all deserve respect.
Dennis
Because this world hates me and wants me to suffer.
I know that doesn't sound very logical, but... it just seems that way.
~Victoria~
Life usually has some amount of suffering in it, it seems. Very few are the lives totally filled with it.
Give it time Tori, and have a little faith that things will work out for the best.
An after that amount of time if things have not shaped up then get out your hammer and bloody well make them better! (=
Im a girl, femalish body but... ups a penis!!?
Ok, so I have been forced to live has a male (wasnt successfull)
And im finally becoming me, the real me. ^^
That made me TS
After being around "the TS scene" for nearly 40 years and hearing the (almost identical) story again and again hundreds of times, I have no doubt whatsoever that there IS a physiological basis - WAY TOO MANY people with exactly the same story can NOT be coincidence. In time I believe that medical science will eventually figure it out and I suspect the "key" will be found in the mother's or the fetus' DNA or in a "conflict" between the two. Considering how much of "who we are" (physically) is encoded in the DNA I am sure the "female wiring" is also there.
Quote from: Kate on March 17, 2006, 11:55:17 AMThat's where a woman typically has longer pointer fingers vs. ring fingers, yes? If so, I fail :( Mine are CLOSE, but... male. Drat.
It's where women typically have almost equal lengths, whereas men have a considerably shorter index finger. On one hand I have about the same length, on the other the index is longer. If yours are close, then they're probably within the female range. ;)
(And I do believe there's some overlap, especially among gynephiles. Go figure.)
QuoteThere's some goofy test about sitting cross-legged as a woman would (knee on top of knee). Now see if you can easily hook your dangling foot behind your other leg.
Dang! I can't do it. In jeans anyway; must try it without being so confined.
Posted at: 2006-March-17, 11:22:11 AM
Update: I can do the foot hook trick, just not easily, and not in jeans. And it's more difficult on one side than the other. :P
Quote from: Dennis on March 17, 2006, 12:36:12 PMAnd, as others have pointed out, regardless of cause, we all deserve respect.
Agreed. :)
Quote from: umop ap!sdn on March 17, 2006, 06:22:11 PM
QuoteThere's some goofy test about sitting cross-legged as a woman would (knee on top of knee). Now see if you can easily hook your dangling foot behind your other leg.
Dang! I can't do it. In jeans anyway; must try it without being so confined.
I can :)
Steph
Well, my pointer finger and the ring finger is almost equal!
Yay I feel feminine now! ;D
QuoteThere's some goofy test about sitting cross-legged as a woman would (knee on top of knee). Now see if you can easily hook your dangling foot behind your other leg.
I can't. But neither can anyone else I know who was a figure skater when young. (Knock-out legs none the less!)
Oh, gosh. I failed the cross leg and hook test. But I'm too old to transition back. Could never make it back through those doc hoops. Besides, once through those choppy transition seas was enough for one life.
Teri Anne
Quote from: Northern Jane on March 17, 2006, 05:12:27 PM
After being around "the TS scene" for nearly 40 years and hearing the (almost identical) story again and again hundreds of times, I have no doubt whatsoever that there IS a physiological basis - WAY TOO MANY people with exactly the same story can NOT be coincidence. In time I believe that medical science will eventually figure it out and I suspect the "key" will be found in the mother's or the fetus' DNA or in a "conflict" between the two. Considering how much of "who we are" (physically) is encoded in the DNA I am sure the "female wiring" is also there.
Having a physiological explaination is important to me. It doesn't change who I am, but I like having a physical reason for my being! It means that my ->-bleeped-<- is not some strange type of psychosis. It makes me feel that I am not menatlly ill for being who I am.
Chaunte
I read somewhere(maybe here) that during the 50's doctors were prescribing some hormone to pregnent mothers that some researchers are now saying may be responsible for a rise in the number of transexuals in my age group, allthough how they have managed to determine a "rise" I am unsure. I figure god just made me this way for some reason and it is up to me to deal with it.
Cassie
I know there is a Russian study on humans whereby they proved that its the levels of prenatal hormones that the unborn child is exposed to can determine their sexual orientation. Unfortunately I have been unable to find the reference - so I can only present this as anecdotal at this stage. One thing that always bothered me was how they conducted their experiment, seemed that ethics and respect for humanity did not figure very highly :(
My index and ring fingers are the same size - I hold my hand out and thats how it appears, however by making infinitesmal adjustments I can make index or ring finger appear longer. How is this measurement carried out do they measure from top of knuckle to end of finger, or is it how fingers appearwhen hand is laid out flat??
I should try to dig up links to the article(s). One of them involved photocopying palms, and I think they were measuring from the crease to the fingertip.
It's possible that I've spent more time than anyone else in the world pondering that very question. Years upon years of thought and study and conjecturing have led me to a simple conclusion and much peace of mind when I can live it: It doesn't matter why I'm TS. I'm TS, plain and simple. More important is to learn how to live with this knowledge. And now, I have moved from TS to a new place as a woman with a TS history.
Dawn
Quote from: DawnL on March 18, 2006, 10:54:35 PMIt doesn't matter why I'm TS. I'm TS, plain and simple. More important is to learn how to live with this knowledge.
Very wise words. Just so darn difficult (for me at least) to accept and live by.
How did you get to this point of acceptance? When/why did the obsessive seeking of reasons stop? Did a specific event or realization bring you this peace?
My fear is that transsexuality will one day, AFTER I transition, be exposed as a purely psychological problem - some odd childhood obsession that took root and never let go.
And it'd be so incredibly difficult to look into my wife's eyes and tell her, "I have to transition... but I don't know WHY. I can't explain to you why I'm going to destroy your life. But I have to anyway."
Quote from: Cassandra Anna Hefton on March 18, 2006, 12:16:54 AM
I read somewhere(maybe here) that during the 50's doctors were prescribing some hormone to pregnent mothers that some researchers are now saying may be responsible for a rise in the number of transexuals in my age group, allthough how they have managed to determine a "rise" I am unsure.
The drug is called DES and was used from about 1930 to the early 1970's in pregnant women.
I pass the finger test (2D:4D Test), but fail the leg crossing test. It just means I don't have a wide pelvis.
Melissa
Quote from: Cassandra Anna Hefton on March 18, 2006, 12:16:54 AM
I read somewhere(maybe here) that during the 50's doctors were prescribing some hormone to pregnent mothers that some researchers are now saying may be responsible for a rise in the number of transexuals in my age group, allthough how they have managed to determine a "rise" I am unsure. I figure god just made me this way for some reason and it is up to me to deal with it.
Cassie
Melissa is right but the jury is still out on whether if DES is responsible.
Here is a link to
DES Action Canada (http://www.web.net/~desact/anglais/diethy/4son.html) one of the many site available. Also the
CDC (http://www.cdc.gov/DES/consumers/sons/) site has extensive coverage on DES but only mentions sexual disfunction not any gender related problems.
An interesting read.
Steph
Quotebut fail the leg crossing test
Leg crossing test? ???
Quote from: Kate on March 19, 2006, 12:17:40 AM
How did you get to this point of acceptance? When/why did the obsessive seeking of reasons stop? Did a specific event or realization bring you this peace?
The obsessive seeking of reasons became a ritual almost and never made any forward progress. It was making me insane and I realized that no satisfactory answer existed. Maybe it was mental fatigue or my take on the serenity prayer. I still wonder sometimes but I don't agonize much anymore.
Quote from: Kate on March 19, 2006, 12:17:40 AM
My fear is that transsexuality will one day, AFTER I transition, be exposed as a purely psychological problem - some odd childhood obsession that took root and never let go.
I worked that one over quite a bit. So what of it is? To drive most TS to transition--as it did in my case--was to also recognize the ineluctable force of it. If you discover this in the future, does that make you less transsexual or invalidate you feelings? I think not. Will there be groups of real transsexuals who have a definable medical cause and some with an indefinable mental state? Possibly. So what. I've crossed over the line so to find out now makes little difference to me. I understand that in your position with so much ahead and so much to lose, you would be obsessive about causation. You'd be a fool not to be.
Quote from: Kate on March 19, 2006, 12:17:40 AM
And it'd be so incredibly difficult to look into my wife's eyes and tell her, "I have to transition... but I don't know WHY. I can't explain to you why I'm going to destroy your life. But I have to anyway."
One of the most difficult days of my life. I knew I was blowing my life up. Two years later, she's still here and my life continues albeit in a vastly changed form that I am still getting used to. If you are TS, the reasons why you have to transition is obvious. Unfortunately, you may be the only person who fully understands that and you probably won't be able to explain it to anyone else. Plan on accepting that no one else will understand it.
Dawn
You know, I think I really don't care about biological factors mostly because I do not expect I have any. I should be a pretty standard male model come to think of it. But, and this is the important part, there is more to a man than a physical body. My body may be perfectly male, but I am not.
Hopefully without offending our Canadians, GID is, if I'm not wrong, classified as a disorder and therefor covered by the Canadian healthcare system. If this is still correct then there is a vested interest to have it still listed in the DSM.
For me, I hope that no discovery of causal is found. Be it physical or mental some jackass will try to fix those who have it. Not much different than those who are born IS. If it were done with consent then fine, but to change anyone without consent is just wrong.
I hate to see anyone haveing to suffer through the years of not know where in society they fit but I also believe in self determination.
Leigh
Hey there Leigh.
GID is considered as a disorder here in Canada, but coverage under the health system depends on which province you reside as Healthcare, while funded by the Federal Government, is administered by the individual provinces. So coverage is different across the country. Here in Ontario it was covered but when the provincial conservative party won the election back then they de-listed GRS as a funded procedure. So now we must pay.
Steph
I think the "why" is not so important as what to do about it.
Melissa
The "why" is very important because it determines the what of "what to do about it". ;)
Not really. You realize that you are transsexual and have an overwhelming need to transition. Why do you have it? Could be a number of reasons. What do you do about it? Transition. You do not need to answer the first question to get the answer to the second.
Melissa
Okay... this psychology degree comes in handy sometimes....
Neurosurgeons may have found that the hypothalamus in MtFs is smaller than in other males, but they also found this in gay males, back in the 1980s. Problem with that study, however, was that they used it to say there was a genetic difference between gay males and straight ones, despite the fact that the brains they dissected to come to this conclusion were all from gay men who died of AIDS. Thus, there was no way of knowing whether they had smaller hypothalami because they were gay, or because of AIDS. There's always 2 sides to every story.
As far as there being psychological causes for TS, it's not likely that it would be a result of primarily genetics. Believe me, being an FtM myself, I'm not about to say we're all crazy, but modern psychologists believe that personality is determined 50% by genes and biology, and 50% by environment. There is a prevailing opinion now that lesbians and FtMs had an overabundance of androgens in utero, which masculinized them without making them genetically male, and vice-versa (gay males and MtFs had too much estrogen in the womb). If this is the case, it's out of our control... but then environment comes in, and either your parents enforce gender norms on you and you become someone who identifies with your biological sex, but is lesbian or simply incredibly depressed, or your folks are more lax and free-thinking, you go through childhood as a tomboy or a "sissy" boy, and eventually realize your TS status.
Regardless of whether or not scientists eventually say that TS is caused by psychological problems from trauma early in life, you are who you are. And if it is the result of early trauma, you have no personal control over it, anyway. Years in therapy could be wasted just to tell you what you already know. I'd say, transition if you feel it's right, don't if you don't, but don't worry about the etiology of your condition. Just be you.
Rafe
Lori
I would be interested to know to what the results of your tests are, if you ever take the test. Please keep us posted.
Quote from: Miriam on July 12, 2006, 01:37:00 PM
Lori
I would be interested to know to what the results of your tests are, if you ever take the test. Please keep us posted.
I've been very worried about Lori. She was a very frequent poster here, and we corresponded quite often... then she suddenly disappeared a few months ago. Not good, as she was having a very difficult time with all this. She was trying to find a way to avoid/fight it, so perhaps she succeeded and needed a clean break from any reminders. But still... I worry :(
As far as tests go, I found this one
http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/sex/index_cookie.shtml
I scored a 0. I guess I'm just a zero.... lol
Quote...women typically have almost equal lengths, whereas men have a considerably shorter index finger.
I fail this test. My index and ring fingers on both hands are perfectly equal. This is probably part of what makes my hands so nice.
QuoteThere's some goofy test about sitting cross-legged as a woman would (knee on top of knee). Now see if you can easily hook your dangling foot behind your other leg.
I can't even force my legs into a cross-legged position, forget hooking the foot behind the leg!
Though this is probably due to the size of my legs, rather than my pelvic structure.
Nero
weirdly enough, I scored in the female range. Huh.
Quotehttp://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/sex/index_cookie.shtml
I scored on the average score for women, a 50. I am sissy boy.
Gosh ... so much to say, I hope I remember everything ... lol. Accordingly, this post may be a tad disjointed.
I have narrow hips and have no problem dangling my leg behind the other sitting "knee on knee". Both index fingers are about 3 mm longer than the ring fingers. On the other hand, research has indicated that there is a statistically significant tendency for TSs to be left handed; I'm not.
Before I comment, I guess I should say that I have a degree in biology/genetics which helps me a bit with "why". I've read all the research on "why" and frankly, it all makes sense, albeit it's still just theory.
The study of neuro-concentration in the brain - male vs. female - came from a study of 7 MtFs and 1 FtMs. In all these cases, the article I found implies that it was on post mortem examination, that it was found that TSs had brains that were similar to the gender to which they had transitioned.
When I first became aware I was "TS", my first reaction was elation. That lasted two days until all the hurdles dawned on me - voice, face, family, friends, work, children's weddings to come, etc. However, even then and with a fleeting thought of "Can I put the genie back into the bottle", I found being TS very easy to accept. I think it was Kate who asked "how" one does this. I can say there was no single event in finally coming to a total peace as I re-examined: "what if I'm wrong." What I did notice is that over a period of about 2 months, the episodes of "what if" became less frequent and of shorter duration. Then, last month, the doubts just disappeared. However, I will add the following. My "ex" and about five other g/f's have told me that, in hindsight, it made total sense to them. While not ever effeminate, they all say that our conversations and other interactions have always been more "g/f to g/f" in nature. These opinions, the easy of thinking and reacting more like a female as I shed the "male mask", and the peace and joy I now feel have probably helped. As of today - about 3.5 months from "awareness" - I sense my true inner self at all times.
Regarding self acceptance, I don't know if it's the lessons I've learned in 55 years or something else but I truly like who I am. As other facets of "me" have become apparent over the years, it's been very easy to take an honest look in the mirror and simply work at improving what I didn't like in myself. I guess to a great degree "who I am" has become to a great extent who I purposely want to be: good, honest, patient - ok, still working on this one - supportive .. ok .. you get the idea.
Ok .. back to the research. There are three hypothesis of "why" including - this to Cash - the drug DES used in the 1950's to prevent miscarriage. In short however, all humans begin their existance as females. One only becomes male in vivo if certain genes trigger the production of testosterone and "anti estrogen" precursors. This in turn causes the suppression of female hormones and predominance of male hormones. Depending upon the severity of this phenomenon, one could be IS or TS. There are two significant points to make about this. First, the effect on brain chemistry and physical outcomes is not totally related. Secondly, no two individuals are alike and the result is a spectrum of severity.
Accordingly, "the answer may be that it's not genes but hormones" isn't exactly on point. Genes determine which hormones are produced. The reference you will see in the literature to the genetic component is "SRY".
Finally, a review of all research in Great Britain all but totally discounts any psychological aspect to being TS. Research hypothesizes that TSism is determined predominantly during the fetal and neonatal - first thirty days of life - periods. This should not be confused with any discussion regarding homosexuality and it's cause for as we all know, we are concerned with gender identity, not sexual preference.
If anyone really wants to read the UK complilation of research, I'll try to find the link again.
Shayna
Oh my, i cant do the cross leg hook, but both my index finger and ring finger on both hands are the same length. Not sure but i think maybe the cross leg hook thing is due to my age.
I can do the cross leg hook thing, oh my!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/sex/index_cookie.shtml
I scored an 11, makes me feel good. lol
I got 50, which is average for a woman. :)
Melissa
I can do the leg-crossing test, with both legs, and my hands are the same size and practically identical to my ex-girlfriends, and that is before hormones.
I scored on the female side 25. I think because I perfer woman it gave me a lower score.
So im happy with the results of this test.
Can't do the crosses legged test. Maybe it's because I'm over 50 and things down bend like they use to.
:)
Jillieann
I choose to believe we are all here for a reason. We knew we needed some work when "up there" and there is no better place than Planet Earth to learn. It's a tough life here, compared to "up there", and not everyone is up for the task. This belief is my choice. It helps me get through this life happily.
Before I came here I knew there were certain things I needed to work on. I may never realize them in this life but when I get back home I will be able to see how I did. I used to feel a victim of a cruel twist of fate, "Why was I born a boy? Why couldn't I have been born a girl?"
In time I realized I had no idea what life would be like if I was born a girl. I looked at my sisters, all four of them. They had more problems than me! Only one is well grounded, the other three are constantly looking for happiness. If I was born female would I be like my one sister or like the other three?
My belief is that I'm here to learn something and being transsexual has taught me a lot! This is a very tough life! (I keep saying that) But look at us, we have all survived. We must be very strong people. And I think a lot of that strength came from being trans.
A guy once asked me why I "dress like this". I told him I had no choice. I then took my hand to my heart and, as if pulling something out, said, "If I were to take this part of me and insert in you (I then placed this in his heart), you wouldn't last a week." He looked at me a few moments and said, "You're probably right."
Why am I transsexual? To make me strong, independent, a leader, a better human being. There's nothing I can think of that can accomplish that better.
Right on Julie I totally agree. (Sorry I didn't mean to sound like a valley girl.) ::)
QuoteMy belief is that I'm here to learn something and being transsexual has taught me a lot! This is a very tough life! (I keep saying that) But look at us, we have all survived. We must be very strong people. And I think a lot of that strength came from being trans.
......................
Why am I transsexual? To make me strong, independent, a leader, a better human being. There's nothing I can think of that can accomplish that better.
I don't regret my past. I'm happy to have my sons and grandchildren I would not trade for the world in fact I would not trade them for a different life where I stared out as a female. And I so much want to be totally female now.
GG girls take there gender and all that goes with it for granite. We MTF don't. We have seen the other side.
It's like having never been cold so how can you appreciate warmth. You won't.
I just wish I had realized what I was 15 or 20 years ago. Why after I'm 50. :(
Maybe I'm just a slow learner.
Jillieann