I spoke to my mother last night.
The hard part happened years ago, when she discovered me dressed in my sister's clothes. :embarrassed: It was the most horrifying experience of my life. But she never showed the least bit of disapproval -- which was hardly a comfort at the time, as I was far to young, conflicted, and self-hating to be able to even speak about my issues with gender.
So we never spoke about it, though she knew it wouldn't just go away. I want to start therapy, and I told her this recently, and she offered financial support without my asking -- she knows that as a poor starving grad student I can't really afford it. Well, last night I took her up on the offer. But I can't in good conscience take her money if she doesn't know what she's paying for; so I told her.
I told her of how long and how constant my struggle with gender has been; how it's something that is at the front of my mind every day, and has been for most of my life; and that now, being emotionally prepared to deal with it, I might transition; that this is one of the paths I might take; that it's the path that I think I should take; that my reason for wanting therapy is to make that decision, and follow through with it.
She simply said that she wants me to be happy, and that it makes no difference to her what I feel I need to do to be happy. And that she loves me. I know.
All parents will fail in some ways. It's the hardest job in the world, and none of us can ever be prepared for it. But there's only one thing that matters in being a parent: that you love your children with all your heart. And I feel so blessed to have parents who do.
If I decide to transition, I will have to tell my father, and I know him well enough to know it will hurt him, at least at first. And I know he will come to accept it too and will support me, because he is so intensely loyal to the people he loves. But I dread it nonetheless.
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... or, not. >:D >:D >:D
Why has she turn around and blow it by being so damn stupid?!? >:D
Congrats i know how you feel although i've come out to my parents we still have to talk face to face about the subject. good luck in the future.
Your mom rocks.
Too few parents understand what it really means to love your child unconditionally. Sounds like yours have got it.
Quote from: lady amarant on March 04, 2008, 06:17:09 AM
Your mom rocks.
Too few parents understand what it really means to love your child unconditionally. Sounds like yours have got it.
yes i know personally i thought she was going to kill me. its very embarassing to get that phone in the middle of class.
Congrats, Hon!!!! it is hard when you first come out to your family.
All those preconceived notions and ideas that never play out like we think they will.
I still have my family in my life after coming out to them last year. My Mom has high standards want me to look good and all. My family has been great with me and really trying with the name thingy and the pronouns.
Your about to have fun. I have to remember to be me and stop acting like i did to gain approval from my family all those lonely and hateful years. It has only been like several months for me but i love the family members that i let be in my life today.
Hugs.......