:D I am going to marry F 2 M next April. Where we live we are permitted to marry as a same sex couple but do not want to marry him as a her that would be wierd and wrong. We are not a same sex couple. He is clearly a man and I a woman. I love my partner but find it painful when he/we experience discrimination etc. Looking for a new place together has been a challenge. One of my least favorite things is being mistaken for his mother! I am not that old!!! Yes now that he is passing he is percieved as a young boy but my word! Any idea how much T a guy takes and how old they usually are before they are seen by the public at large as men (not boys)? Doesn't matter I love him and I am committed ot being with him through any & everything. He is the sweetest most caring man I have ever known. He makes me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world (hint, I am not). :o Anyways nice to meet ya all. Spike :)
Welcome Spike!
I'm encouraged every time a new significant other of a transgendered person joins us here. Thank you!
I'll be very much looking forward to reading more from you.
again, WELCOME ! !
helen
:D Helen, thanks for the welcome! We FOUND A PLACE! I am so excited. We had been looking for months. Apparently getting him more involved did the trick, good ole sexism. Landlords seem to want to deal with men. His receptions far exceeded my attempts at contact. Wow a place of OUR own. It is really great o have this on-line community to get to know others and relate to your day to hapenings. :eusa_clap: Verry happily housed ~ Spike
welcome to the forums spike, i am very a crossdresser and i feel very much at home here, its very cosy
Welcome to Susan's Spike.
You will find that we are in no way judgmental about yours or anyone else's relationships, what their sexual preference or their gender. We are just one big happy family :) Relax and have fun here, yes the issues we all face are very serious but we have to be able to sit back and kick off our shoes from time to time. We have forums for everyone and be sure to check out the new links area, and of course i would be remiss if I didn't mention the Chat area and the Wiki.
Don't be afraid to join in and ask questions and ask for advice we are all here to provide support and fellowship.
Steph
:D I am so EXCITED!!!!! :icon_dance: 1. I am very glad to have this forum to share the struggles and good news. 2. Maybe some of you are familiar but . My F2M fiancées parents have been shall we say less than excited, less then accepting of his "change". He told his Grandma EVERYTHING and she was so cool and very supportive! She is going to be there for surgery, our wedding, everything! She also said his mom will come around in a couple years. This is such a huge relief. He has not had any positive feedback form family until now. I love his Grandma. OMG! I really needed that; I can't even imagine how he must feel.
Question: Separate issue: Male or female friends? Is it difficult for trans to connect with peers? IE Do guys have a hard time making new men friends? Is it normal to have a predominantly 95% women to 5% men ratio? Are there any tips? He is passing 98% of the time. He does look about 14 but he is passing. He wants to hunt, fish, play paint ball etc but where do men meet men friends? He works for himself, by himself. Hmm
PS Did I mention I am totally thrilled to have this site?! Thank you. Spike :icon_smile: :icon_walk: :icon_wave:
I also wish I could get the chat option working on my computer! It seems neither my work nor home computer will support the program ???
Spike,
I kind of know you already sice you have been chating with my SO Pam aka Marco's girl. I just wanted you to know that we feel exactly as you do. There are so many different kinds of people that identify as TS, but like you guys, we want it to be a hetero thing for the public as well. I pass now as a guy as long as I am bound on top and I am where no one knows me. I will be back on T soon and hope to have top surgery done by the years end. Pam and I too plan on getting married down the road, but things are very complicated now. She is in the middlecof a bad divorce, and I am still pushing my to be ex to move our paperwork along. Then there are the kids. We both have kids. Mine are taking all this alot better than hers. But in time all will be fine. Welcome Spike.
Marco
Hi Spike
Welcome to the forum. I am post transition of 15 yrs ago, and am married to a woman that has never been around the gay scene or anything other than a very conservative life style. She did not know me when I was young and transitioning, she only knows the life we have together, and it is a pretty hum drum normal life lol...that is to give you hope.
We are friends with other couples, though they do not live near us currently, they did at one time. They have a normal hum drum hetero life as well. We have always thought it interesting that people would think our lives are any diff than other strait couples, truth is it is not. Not even a little bit...ok, wait, with medical issues it can be, because I have the stress of new doctors etc. other than that though, nope.
You ask about the girls verses mens with friendships. That is a tricky question to out right answer, but believe it or not it is quite normal for men to have more females for friends than males for friends, I know a LOT of men that have that as the case in their lives and they did not transition.
As for making friends with males...that is sort of complicated in the beginning. If he looks 14 it will be something he will sort of grow out of anyway. I never looked that young, but I had a buddy that had that issue, being short and looking a lot younger than he was. For me I look a little younger than I am now, but that is if I shave my beard, if I have my beard I look a little older lol...sucks for me! I wish I looked younger!!
I can tell you this...from every guy I ever met that was trans, we ALL went through a period of time for say the first two years or so.... that we go out and do all the things we feel we were cheated on, hence,, paintball, and playing with things that had been so out of our reach. It is like the testostrone turns on a deep rooted need to anyway lol...but it is all a part of puberty and puberty is exactly what he is going through! There needs to be a balance of course with playing and responsiblity, and some are better at it than others lol...but it can all be fun. And your support will be a big help as he goes out and experiences new things.
In time yes, he will make some male friends. There is some socialization skills that will need to be fine tuned to some degree, and he will know them when he hits up against them. They are often very suttle, but he will notice it immediately and adjust accordingly, until it just becomes a part of his nature. That takes time.
Sounds to me like you all have a wonderful life to look foward to, and he and you both are blessed to have each other. I am sure you know that!
Feel free to write anytime, there are people that will assist you here! For the most part in no time at all you will figure out that you are just as normal as any other couple out there and life will just flow...
Welcome!!
Peace,
Taylor
Hey Dennis, Marco, Pam & others,
I am so relieved to have this site. It helps me understand a little better some of what Tino goes through. I really want to understand.
I love that there is such a variety of guys in various stages of transitioning. Tino is almost 20, he half-jokingly says this is his third time through puberty. :o I don't envy this!
He is supposed to start T in a month or so. He has been on it before but not while we have been a couple. A few of my friends trying to "help" me cautioned me lectured me etc about the dangers of T. He'll get aggressive; cheat on you blah blah blah. I did my research but I didn't have to. Tino is very sweet to me and loves me a lot. He is gentle (in a macho guy way lol not in a girly way).
Funny when it's a guy they are "aggressive" and a woman is "emotional"! The implication is that guys are dangerous and women? Irrational? A mess? I know we'll get threw it even if he has T spikes and is a little testy lol.
I don't feel like we are anything other than a hetro couple. I am always thrown off if people see us or treat us differently.
B/c we are a new couple we don't have a lot of couple friends but I am looking forward to it.We are going camping this weekend so maybe we'll hang with some people there.
Tino also hopes to have top surgery asap. I am not entirely sure on the logistics of it. I seem to recall reading some timeline that indicated it's best 6 months after starting full T?
We have a wedding date set. April 21, 2007. It has to be done before then so he can get that little f changed to an M on all the id. Otherwise we'd have to marry as a same sex couple and then what? He gets the legal change and we are acknowledged as hetro? Weird!
We are waiting for the Vital Stats mail with his name change certificate in it!! He has wanted this for a long time so I ordered the papers and took him to all the places to get the ball rolling. Soon where will be no more confusing, uncomfortable interactions with officials! Yeah~ :)
Hey Spike,
I have heard of guys getting top surgery done even before starting T although Im not sure how they manage that , and others as soon as 4 months into T. I too need it and want it done ASAP. I have my 3rd appointment tomarrow in L.A. with my theripist, and I need here to let me move on. The hardest part is the waiting. Im glad you and Pam talk alot. It means alot to her to have someone in the same situation. Please keep us posted, and rember to invite us to youe wedding!
Marco