How open are you about your status?
When i meet new people i instantly let them know i'm Jonathan and never been anything but. But with friends and work who all know my situation well, i have myself a laugh with it. I talk about it, i joke about it and they join in.
I feel being this way with those who know, it relieves a lot of tension. I get to know exactly what people think about it as their honesty comes out with mine. It relaxes the people around me, they feel they dont have to walk on eggshells because it's a 'touchy' subject. And with this i also feel i can get the best support from them. A particular colleague i work with (annoying as he can be lol) has even told me he gets annoyed with customers when they refer to me by the wrong gender, as i quote: "Because you're clearly a guy, it gets me all wound up!"
But still, i am aware that not everyone is like that and if they are confronted by something out of the ordinary, it seems to threaten them somehow and they like to make things awkward. So in a sense, i feel lucky to know so many great people.
Whats your opinions on being open? Are you open, or closed in?
I tend to reveal my status as it tends to comes up in conversation with anyone I will have an extended work or friend or aquaintence relationship with. Not even that I really venure to tell people or anything, but you know how it goes, you start talking about childhoods and related content, and you have the clear choice of Lie, or, tell them you're a transsexual.
i've not actually been brave enough to tell people i meet. I just let them assume i'm male.
However, in the work place when we have new starters it's different because you're around people who know. Though, i seem to never straght forwardly tell them, i just let myself assume they know
Hi Jon,
Yes just be you at work and whereever. Someone else will most of the time point out that you were not always as you are. But that is not so bad. Even the fellow who said I had a demon inside a year ago, treats me as who I am now. If someone asks I mght tell them, But I would not offer it at the beginning. Ha No one really asks anymore anyway.
Beni
Not very open. No one besides the internets (Anonymity ftw) knows about it, and even I doubt it very often. Hopefully I'll soon start going to a therapist and see what happens then.
Hi Wishy, every individual choose their own way to come out. Fear of suicide is what finally decided me to come out full time. I did the coming out all in one day not knowing what the consequences would be, you want to bet I was scared. But in time I developed this personality which people loved. I wasn't the greatest looking physically and not hard to clock. but my radiant and friendly personality made up for much of what was missing physically
And now I sit here 8 years later reading your post and responding to it as best I can. After a couple of weeks full time I knew I wasn't going to return to who I was before. That would have been a dead end road. Today who I was before is no more then fading memory like a bad dream.
Hi Beni, congrats on the count down one month and two weeks to SRS
Cindy
I avoid calling myself male on things like myspace or facebook as if I forgot to put it in. I think the smarter people might figure it out a little, while most people just think I forgot.
Other than that, I just say I have "no idea what I am atm" which they probably think means I'm bi or gay. Hahaha...
I have only told 2 people really... 3 if you count telling one I know on the internet. One knows a lot more, but doesn't know I want to take hormones... I didn't want to bring it up.
Quote from: wishy on April 12, 2008, 03:09:41 AM
How open are you about your status?
I'd be open if someone asked about it, but I otherwise don't think about it. Most of the people I work with knew me
From Before, but we rarely talk about it anymore. Every now and then we'll have a good laugh though, not specifically talking about TSism, but... like I was talking to someone at lunch the other day, and she said something about how
"people never change, do they?" and after a second or two we just looked at one another and cracked up, lol. Like you said, I think keeping a sense of humour and letting people know it's not a touchy subject is a good thing.
Everyone is different though. I just go with the flow. We have one new employee for example whom I KNOW knows about me, only *we* have never discussed it. And he's apparently fine with that. There's no awkwardness between us, we laugh and joke and tease each other, so it's all good. But if he ever came to me and asked if we can talk about what I've done, that'd be fine too.
But unless they ask, or I get into a situation where I have to either lie terribly or tell the truth, I won't bring it up.
~Kate~
With most people I don't say anything about my status and just allow them to draw their own conclusions. When I'm out doing a presentation, that's a different matter. Occasionally when meeting random people I've gotten, "Are you the Lisbeth Kellogg who...?" Yes, I am.
Because I live full-time in my new female role, I tend to allow people to make up their own minds. With my volunteer job I have a name badge and that tends to do the trick along with my clothing but occasionally a customer will say 'sir' or 'mate' whilst most might say 'miss' or 'dear' etc..
If anywhere more open to public, only the nasty and ignorant will make an issue of it. I have confirmed my status as a TS to a few only when in conversation it needs to be said, but when that happens, I get told that they already knew and that it didn't matter. My looks and voice tend to give me away and many people simply take me as a woman without question and we get along just as if I was born female.
What I am trying to say is that I let the situations develop naturally and only bring the matter up if I feel that it is necessary and if asked, I tell the truth because I have found that people dislike being hoodwinked deliberately....am I making any sense here??? :-\
Well...I do the male role for the sake of job and family.. The questions never occurs. But I am female for me (every moment possible). Would like to have face to face friends (of like minds) to share my feelings, but haven't any (yet).
roni
I'm always myself, and no effort is made to present a male image. Being mostly bald on top, I cannot pass to most people as female without a wig and makeup. Because of the way that I dress, always women's clothing, not always discretely, I always wear nail polish, and I always carry a purse, anyone who sees me and thinks for a moment, would realize that the necklace on my neck that says "April" isn't referring to the month. Some people are able to see me on the street, and by my appearance and the way that I carry myself will realize that I am, in fact, a woman. I just look like a bald man.
When I do wear a wig and makeup, I do it to look nice. If anyone were to question me in any way, I never lie. My therapist is continually impressed by my level of self-acceptance. She says that I accept myself on a higher level than most non-TS people. I believe in living my own life, and I have little interest in the prejudices of others, and people that I don't know? What about them? I really don't care what they think. Sure, I'll go out and some people will stare, rarely, someone will say something. It has no impact on me. Very rarely is anything mean spirited, and it's usually two or more men together who will make a remark, a comment about my wearing heels, "ya walk like a girl," whatever. Maybe a bra strap shows. Sometimes something pleasant will be said by another woman.
No. I don't hide. I spent many years running and hiding, blaming myself for being the way that I am. Now, I know better, and all of the years that I lived as myself hiding behind a synthetic male image are over. Those years have made me stronger, and have given me a true appreciation of myself as a person and of my very real accomplishments.
Quote from: roni on April 13, 2008, 03:08:55 PM
But I am female for me (every moment possible). Would like to have face to face friends (of like minds) to share my feelings, but haven't any (yet).
roni
Same here Roni, not even being full-time makes it any easier to find good face to face friends :(
Hi Roni hon. Well I don't suppose we can meet face to face but I would not hesitate to do so with you in group or PM me if you have a desire to. I live in Vancouver BC.
Hi April221, I wouldn't worry to much about the people staring at you as you work at being yourself at becoming more presentable at the physical level in order to become more congruent as a female. Confidence and acceptance like in accepting yourself confidence will follow. certainly a few tweaks here and there and SRS will make you a more passable as a woman.
As for attracting people, Well I have attracted women, men, kids and even animals both of the domestic variety and various other critters of the wilds for most of my life. I believe it has little to do as to what I look like, or anything to do with looking male, female, trans it is more of an attraction then anything else. Through the years Ive grown use to that so that I don't even bother looking around anymore, except for the animals.
Cindy
Quote from: cindybc on April 14, 2008, 05:02:19 AM
Hi April221, I wouldn't worry to much about the people staring at you as you work at being yourself at becoming more presentable at the physical level in order to become more congruent as a female. Confidence and acceptance like in accepting yourself confidence will follow. certainly a few tweaks here and there and SRS will make you a more passable as a woman.
Cindy
Hi Cindy!
I think that you may have misunderstood my post. I have no problem at all with the way that I appear in public, and I have a genuine disinterest in the negative reactions of strangers. I don't "worry" about people staring; some of the time, people will look at me because I look good! Sometimes, someone will whistle, which I take as a compliment! That's part of the reason that I dress as I do. I have total self acceptance of myself as a woman; my self acceptance is to a level higher than most non TS people. As both a teen ager and as a child, I was accepted by other girls, and I grew up as a girl. I was socialized as a female. I've lived full time,for various periods of time, from the age of 20.
My self acceptance as a male, of course, is not as good, for obvious reasons. I'm not male. I never was. The male image that I would sometimes present was never real. I now present publicly two ways. One way is with make-up and a hair piece. The hair was chosen in conjunction with a stylist as the most natural choice for my face. My make up is something that was worked out, colors, time of day, and seasons, by a professional cosmetologist. I do not use make up as I did when I was a teen aged girl.
The other way that I will appear in public, is more casual, without the make up or hair piece. I do not wear a skirt or a dress, but what I do wear is markedly female, and my walk, gestures, posture, everything is female. With a hat, I pass as female from any distance or angle where my face isn't clearly seen and viewed. My social presentation is excellent. My walk, hand gestures, my entire body language has been entirely feminine since I was 6 years old...I was always getting beaten up because of it!
I've never stopped being April, either. The way that I think, the way that I express myself, the way that I relate to the world, has never changed. I've always experienced life through the eyes of a woman, and I've always enjoyed the view. The way that I've always felt about things. I've always had problems presenting as male, and it is the male image that will be erased as best as I'm comfortable with, during my transition. Transition, for me, is nothing more than allowing the outside world to see me more clearly. It will allow people who do not know me to relate to me in the correct manner. This has nothing to do with passing. Passing is not my priority, and if I'm always being seen as a TS woman, I have no problem at all with that, because I AM a TS woman. What I am not is a genetic woman, and I am not male. Transition will allow me to live out my life being true to myself, without hiding behind a synthetic male image. That is the priority.
Hi April221, It appears I did miss something or misunderstood something in your first post, but I must say you are not laking any clarity in your second post. All I can say is I apologise if I have offended you in any way. It seem that you have been at transitioning from M-F for a lot longer then I had anticipated, like from all the way back to your early childhood.
I to have always known something inside of me was not the same as the other kids and other adults after I grew up. I knew what my greatest of desire was, actually a need to be who I was inside. But back then hon there was no labels attached to what I felt I was. I did not know there were others like me out there let alone was I aware they even had places that could help others such as I. The whole proposition of becoming the innerself, she who was inside. To change ones gender just sounded so preposterous, ridiculous, it was simply just unheard of. One just didn't talk about this stuff during the time I grew up, if I had tried, I may not have come out of it, trying to do so, I may not have come out of it in one piece.
I have been full time for the past 8 years and worked for 7 years as Cindy a social worker. During those years I was just me, Cindy. When I came back here a few moths ago I had hoped to be of some assistance.
Since then I have discovered that the generation that was here now was a different generation then us 8 years ago. I found it replaced by a much younger group of members, then there were my in the previous generation. But I have found that this younger generation are more intelligent, mature and dedicated to accomplishing their transition in a much different way in many respects. Some come here to learn this maybe for better or worst. There for maybe there is no further use for an old dinosaur like me.
Any way it does appear that you knew what or should I say "whom" you weren't and who you had wanted to be for a good many years. As a result you weren't about to give up your life long dream for anybody or anything. I admire that determination to achieve these odds that were not very forgiving you have overcome these obstacles to be who you are, a trans lady, and hon I do admire your determination and what you have done to be you. Now that you have found who you are just continue to be the best you you can be. May God bless. You may want to tell me to go take a long hike off a short dock if you wish. that is your right and I will respect that and I be gone.
Cindy
I used to be somewhat open and confided in a few coworkers that I was trans. Never again. One person guessed that I was trans, but only because they have relatives who are trans. I don't mind that. I'm just still kicking myself for telling the people I did...because now I'd rather no one know.
Generally I don't like to let anybody know unless it's necessary, ie applying for a job with my name not legally changed yet, doctors, etc, but I don't tell anybody anymore...not even people I feel close to and could confide in, because that's the mistake I made with the people I told at work. The girl who guessed though, is a person I'd feel alright confiding in..but I wouldn't have told her if she hadn't guessed.
Hi April, I'm ok with most things I really don't resent anything or anyone. I have never had the capacity to even dislike any one let alone hate, hate is such a harsh word it gives me goose bumps just thinking about it. Believe me I know and I am quite aware as to the music you dance to and it is a wonderful place to be.
Your experience does truly not diverge much from mine but is certainly way different in many aspects. Actually even possibly more so than many here on this board. Of course I would love to be your friend and I will send you a PM later. I was preoccupied tonight doing correspondence on my other two boards.
Love
Cindy
Well all of my friends know aswell as my partner.. my friend at work and boss knows.. my parents know aswell as my sister (however they dont like to admit). However most people at work dont know as they are all (I dont like to say it) "young" and wouldn't understand and to be honest I cant deal with all there little wispering... and there childish behaviour. There was things said when I changed my name at work so I can't imagine what would be said if I told them Im changing from FTM.
My little sister doesn't know as she is only 10 and she wouldn't understand. My grandparents/uncles/aunties dont know as I dont see the point in telling them never been that close to them. 1 auntie I am going to tell because I am close to her..
Other than that.. I dont see the point in telling everybody just the people I am close too..
I wouldn't introduce myself as TG I wouldn't tell anyone in the future.. just the people who I care about..
Quote from: cindybc on April 15, 2008, 02:13:10 AM
Hi April, I'm ok with most things I really don't resent anything or anyone. I have never had the capacity to even dislike any one let alone hate, hate is such a harsh word it gives me goose bumps just thinking about it. Believe me I know and I am quite aware as to the music you dance to and it is a wonderful place to be.
Your experience does truly not diverge much from mine but is certainly way different in many aspects. Actually even possibly more so than many here on this board. Of course I would love to be your friend and I will send you a PM later. I was preoccupied tonight doing correspondence on my other two boards.
Love
Cindy
Hi Cindy!
I was supposed to move into my new apartment in New York City on April 1, and I was all set, until I went to see that the new floors were installed, and they were, but not correctly. That has finally been resolved, two weeks later, so today is moving day, with the rest of the week set for unpacking and organizing my new home. I won't have my computer set up until Thursday.
All of my new neighbors will learn very quickly that I'm TS. It will make it easier in the future by being open about myself. My manner of dressing is decidedly feminine as is my total presentation. Even with a lack of hair on top and masculine facial features, I sometimes am read as female. Children can often sense my gender.
I'm only open to my family and friends with whom I joke and kid around about my transition. The few people who remain at my job from when I went FT sort of know (it was a transparent charade towards the end and I was passing as female in huge clothes anyway) but that's it.
I don't tell if no good will come from it.
I just let most figure out what I am. If I meet someone new I try to let the know upfront that I identify as female as I try to look as feminine as possible. Some will mark me as male while most think I'm female. If they have a problem with it then I'll just move on. Most have been nice about it.
Linda Ann
Love being female :angel:
i haven't come around to doing that with everyone, but i'm trying. i mean, some people could say "tchyeahh it's pretty obvious, im a dude." but some people could confuse that with being butch-lesbian, and lol-i-am-not-wtf. so i usually just say it outright, or i dont say anything at all--personally it's no one's business but mine, and the people around me can either get with the program or GTFO. usually i just let them figure out through random conversations i have with other people. Like i totally told my English professor, and we talk rather openly about it, and what i have to go through. im sure my classmates are wondering and want to ask questions.
Hi April
Thanks so much for writing back. You may already be off the waves already which means you will not be reading this post until Thursday. I am happy to hear you have a new apartment. I moved so many times already in my life that I feel like a gypsy at times, literally.
Anyway I don't think I will be visiting as much real estate as I use to but I am happy, I have a partner and we live together in Vancouver BC. I hope this is not an intrusive question, but why do you not wear the hair piece and if no one asks any questions, then just let it be? I really don't know but for at least the past six years of my 8 years full time I have not been asked about my status, (trans). I am addressed in the proper gender and I just never had to explain anything to anyone, If I had to I would have leveled with them.
I am not going to say that this means no one has read me, but if they did they just weren't certain enough to confront me about it. I am who I am, I am a very proud woman who has spent many hours in the service of helping others. That's what I live for and that is who I am.
Hun I will be back to share with you when ever you wish, ok, even if it's just to share old tales ;D If you would prefer to share on PM that is fine with me.
it's too hard for me to be open about my status since i didn't transition yet. i get embarassed easily. when i do transition it's gonna be so awkward and embarassing.
Quote from: Princess on April 16, 2008, 06:55:58 PM
it's too hard for me to be open about my status since i didn't transition yet. i get embarassed easily. when i do transition it's gonna be so awkward and embarassing.
I'm with you there... I'm not very open about it at all in most areas of my life (work, family, etc..)
Hi Redfish, I am somewhat confused on your statement below.
QuoteI'll ever be terribly open about it. I played around with the notion lately, but ultimately concluded that it was not for me.
It's just not really a way in which I'd prefer to be defined
Are you not going for SRS in 25 days? Boy I suggest you hurry up and find a reason why you don't feel that transitioning is for you????
Cindy
Hi Redfish hon, I didn't mean to be obtrusive about it, I was just curious. This thread is about *How open are you*? I surmised that to mean, who you are? What do you Identify as? Are you ready to accept who you are? OK maybe I missed something but I have never been clear on just what is meant by *stealth*.
When I came out as me 8 years ago, After that length of time I just simply adapted to who I am, and that is I am a woman by the name of Cindy, a little on the short side even for the average height of women. I worked as Cindy and I went about every day life as Cindy. Most folks in that town knew me and who I was before, but after a time they got use to me and accepted me as who I presented as.
I knew that I couldn't carry any old residual traits of my former self, not even the tiniest threads of this identity was to be taken into the land of post opp. I now live full time as Cindy. Well I enjoyed my transitional years, but that's not to say it didn't have it's bumps rough spots along the way. Still it was an experience, a wonderful discovery into my own nature. I may never experience anything else that would be quite as equal again during what few years I may have left to live on this planet. It was a wonderful journey into the of discovery and experience of having plumbed the depths of the innerself.
Cindy
I know that I have contributed to this thread at an earlier stage and I do not wish to be repetitive. The matter of being stealth has arisen and although I attempted this at first instance, I came to believe that I was being stealthy to the public and myself also. I take the view that to transition is to take the inevitable risks that surely follow such an activity.
I spent the first few months getting used to living by my new name, the first action was to legally adopt a female identity and I got my papers in order as soon as was practicable, and I allowed life to guide my actions. How? I am always asked by genetics of both genders when i first decided to go public wearing obvious female clothing. Of course, due to the long years before transition, I wore as much as possible the femalle versions of what might be considered male exclusives, jeans, shirts, coats etc whilst the non visible underwear was a playground. The first eventuality after transition started was an event that 'forced' my hand somewhat. I was readying myself for a doctor's appointment, was dressed as usual in trousers, t shirt and fleece and trainers etc. I was running late and spilt a coffee on my trousers. In panic, I tried to change into another pair but could not find a clean pair.
The clock was ticking away and the moment came when I was forced into a decision to pick out a skirt or simply not go at all to the doctor. Life took me along a path that I had not planned for, although i had thought I was ready for. I wore that skirt to the doctor. I then continued to the shops and began to relax so much, I didnt want to go home. That was the first instance of openly wearing female exclusives. It was a wonderful day, never to be forgotten but much more learning followed from it. Stealth died for me that day because my fears were exposed for being false. I realised that if I was to truely live my life as a female, I must think like one and not be bullied into an action that denied my femininity.
How open am I? 100%. The only way to be in my view no matter how tough the road might be along the way because that is what makes us in the long term, experienced, wise, tolerant and so understanding of those that are different to us....and of course, women are often treated badly by men, what better way to understand this negative other than by living the female way? :-\
i just wish we lived in a world where the kids choose their gender from the day they are born, instead of their parents. since i've been forced to live looking like a boy. that only screws me, because i just know the other family members won't accept me, and i'll be embarassed. i've got to transition sometime. i want to live as a girl completely when i'm 18. i'm getting to the end of the line. i'm afraid to start.
Quote from: Princess on April 18, 2008, 03:30:27 PM
i just wish we lived in a world where the kids choose their gender from the day they are born, instead of their parents. since i've been forced to live looking like a boy. that only screws me, because i just know the other family members won't accept me, and i'll be embarassed. i've got to transition sometime. i want to live as a girl completely when i'm 18. i'm getting to the end of the line. i'm afraid to start.
Whilst not understanding entirely your situation, why must you wait till your 18th birthday? You could live as a girl within your own mind, prepare for the day when you can throw off the shackles of boyness knowing you had prepared your mind for it. Perhaps this is another definition of 'stealth' as we are no way equal in our unique backgrounds here..... :)
Hi Princess, nice name; do you do fantasy? I mean like playing around with fantasies? That is one way you can touch your dream.
I do agree with Jennifer though:
QuoteWhilst not understanding entirely your situation, why must you wait till your 18th birthday? You could live as a girl within your own mind, prepare for the day when you can throw off the shackles of boyness knowing you had prepared your mind for it. Perhaps this is another definition of 'stealth' as we are no way equal in our unique backgrounds here.....
You could start by putting your ducks in a row. Start planning. You could start with the "Big #1", a visit to a therapist who deals with transsexuality. Other than this I must say that your situation is wanting for more information about your status is with your parents.
Do you live at home? It is quite possible that your parents may turn out to be the major thorn in your side to say the least, but I do pray for your sake this will not be so. In the end you may be alone in making your decision but it should involve you, and hopefully, your therapist.
Will you be leaving home to go to college or university? This might at least be your base for starting transitioning.
i like to fantasy sometimes. when i live inside myself it makes me feel like what everyone else says is false and stereotyped. everyone judges on how you look instead of what you feel, and that is just ignorance.
How open are you?
That's a funny question for me because I really want to be open. I want to share everything with people.
Yet the answer is no. I share nothing in real life. I have told very few people that I'm TS. My girlfriend, my doctor and a therapist (who I'll never be seeing again. Among other things, he fell asleep during our session) are the only people who know.
I usually never let people know how I'm feeling, and in instances when it might be obvious, I hide it - usually with humour.
I'm getting close to telling someone else who is very nice to me. Once again, someone I barely see, but whatever.
This week has been telling me not to really care anymore, especially when I get to college or art school.
Just before I made the decision to transition to womanhood, I had several very lengthy and detailed conversations with my neighbour, a beautiful and very insightful creature with an instinct as sharp as any surgical blade.
She spoke of the mythical line that we are all told during our childhood never to cross for fear of .....well........of any nasty outcomes you might think of. I spoke of the horrors and torment of being ridiculed by people because i would be pointed at, shouted at, abused, ignored, excommunicated, attacked....the list was extensive.
In my situation, circumstances came together in such a way that any obstacles I had simply disappeared. I no longer had a job hence no in work transition problems, I had not seen any of my birth family for 30+ yrs therefore I had no reason to consider their opinions or feeling, my friends pre-stroke had deserted me and in all, I was as free as I could ever be to cross that line and start living the way I had been destined.
QuoteI'm getting close to telling someone else who is very nice to me. Once again, someone I barely see, but whatever.
......'but whatever' are the key words here. Why not tell those nice people? You got to face it eventually and if it goes badly, then you learn from it and try again but it's no reason not to transition is it?
Eventually, my friend asked me what was holding me back. Fear was my reply. Spell it she said. F E A R. She then spelt it out in her magial way....F.alse E.xpectations A.gainst R.eality.......
That was the moment I decided to transition. Within a week, I had formally and legally changed my name, my papers were altered for tax and benefit reasons, voting records, credit agreements, student records, the list was lengthy but those actions helped confirm in my own mind that I was now a new person, a true to myself person and nothing would hold me back anymore.
This thread was about openness, and what better way to handle transition than being open with yourself. If you are at peace with your own decision to transition, then surely others shall see that you mean business, stealth is good for some situations sometimes personal safety demands it but sometimes, nothing can prevent your past being uncovered, e.g., job applications require references from previous employers or if young, school records come into the picture. Passport applications require proof of who you are via birth documents, your medical records will have your new name and perhaps your chosen gender but will ALWAYS keep a record of your medical history in your birth gender.
During the early months following transition, I was swept up by a wave of experimentation, testing myself with clothes, make-up, hair etc., but unlike pre transition, it was no longer a dream or a fantasy, it became real life and wowee, a huge change of attitude followed. I realised very quickly how real women aproached their appearance. A real ( genetic ) woman follows fashion like a slave, unavoidable reality and not how a former male might have seen things. Clothes for work, clothes for play, clothes for whatever...then there are the shoes that go with each item and situation, then the make-up has to be siutable for the clothes and the reasons for wearing them, then the handbag, ear rings, finger rings, bangles, legwear, heck, a womans life is such a wonderful thing to have but all of this can only happen if you take that first step across the mythical line and you tackle the 'FEAR' that stops many of us from beginning transition in the first place...... :angel:
"Wow!!" JENNIFER you have certainly impressed this old one. You are very much on the right track as to the doos and don'ts it it certainly has a lot to do do with trial and error of course but after a time you learn instinctively what is you and what isn't you, just don't overdress for where ever you are going that day. As for you safety just stay away from uncertain areas you are not certain about especially after dark. If you must go, bring a friend with you. Don't take chances. I will get back with you when I get back this after noon.
Cindy
Posted on: April 19, 2008, 03:51:45 PM
Quotei like to fantasy sometimes. when i live inside myself it makes me feel like what everyone else says is false and stereotyped. everyone judges on how you look instead of what you feel, and that is just ignorance
I am smiling. It is wonderful to meet a fellow traveler. It is so hard to convince one of the world of fantasy when they are still in the hard core male mode, no squeeze room for imagination to get in. With a pencil and paper you can create what some call art, possibly another world? One can also create the same magic with the written word.
Hi, again, Princess, I see much promise for you. I did the fantasy thing from all the way back when I was little. I imagined being a princess, the Little Mermaid, a fairy, a warrior princess, "Hee, hee," and many others. It appears for every character I had, I had a whole host of imaginary pets that went with that particular persona. I always had a stash of clothes I had gotten from my sister's dresser and closet and had them hid under a wash tub in the woods. I would slip off into the woods and act out my fantasies right there in the magical forest.
I know these were only games but they can certainly give you a wonderful way to touch your dreams until the time comes and you walk out your front door as the beautiful person that you have created from your mind.
To Princess and any other that is strugging with the idea and reality of transition, consider for a few moments the consequences of doing nothing.. Are you prepared to stew in the contaminated soup of a failed malehood decided by a genetic mistake? OR, are you prepared to take the steps required to achieve the correct status that your mind and body and soul demands?
I am now living my life as a female, I have significant problems with my perception of how others see me, I feel ugly and a man in a skirt etc, but in reality, it rarely results in a challenge. Most if not all people are too wound up with their own lives and attitudes to risk a conflict in public, the risk of arrest being one such fear..., ;), and perhaps the realisation of their own sexual misgivings >:D
whe i keep thinking the negative parts of being a male it makes me have more guts to transition. the only downside is that it makes me feel bad about my current self at the same time.
Lose the attitude ,
Quotethe only downside is that it makes me feel bad about my current self at the same
, :angel:you dont need it. So be yourself Princess. It is not going to be an easy ride and so long as you understand this, you shall make progress my friend . :angel:
Hi, JENNIFER, You are so right. Becoming a woman is not the easiest job there is. I mean this transitioning from male to female will mean that many changes need to take place.
I believe that HRT will facilitate these many changes in views, concepts and thought patterns. These changes will be very profound and different from anything you have been used to and comfortable with in your previous life, quite the opposite you were conditioned to feel, experience, and think as you did in the old persona.
One needs to refine and accept the female within, the embodiment of a very complex individual who has a set of very different characteristics, feelings and understandings of the human environment around her. Welcome to the new you. You are still the same person just your attitudes and personality will be changed to new persona, spiritually and psychologically as well as physical. It's about like turning oneself inside out to view the things you once viewed.
Cindy
Ok thanks for clearing that up for me Redfish, now it makes all the sence in the world. Yes regardless the labels and the label transsexual is only transitory during the transitioning years once one crosses the line (SRS) one should be ready to accept and bu the true self, the one we have longed to be for most of our life.. I quite agree. There is probably as many different descriptions to this evolutionary part in our lives as there are folk transitioning
Cindy
Hon if it is for the reason is for guidance I would call that being of service to another. I do agree also about graduating transitioning before they have the surgery. Actually I have looked at that part as putting the period at the end a sentence. I was full time for 4 years before the surgery and I believe that I was ready to be myself much before then. I look forward to seeing your book.
Cindy
Hi Jon,
What a great topic! Being open is the only way to go. Like you said, there are times when people are walikng on egg shells when I'm around, asking each other "is she or isn't she"? And like you I simply appraoch them, inotroduce myself as Donna and that relieves the tension.
Donna
I told another friend. So now its basically this one guy I never see, who's pretty open minded, my best friend sibling thingy, some random girl who doesn't know the full extent, and now my old friends older sister. She is very nice and supportive and is pretty smart. She took it fine... Which surprised me. My older sibling thing knows TONS more about me cause of "In wine there is truth". It actually started when we were one upping each other on how weird we were respectively. I mentioned anti androgens and she was basically only concerned about my health, which is understandable. I'm more worried about my friends though....