Recently, I told my boss about the change I am going through in life. I planned a specific day to make the announcement and when the time came I told her that I never felt right living as a male and that I would be changing that. Then I handed her some papers showing that I'm seeing a psychologist and have filed to change my name.
Up until that day, I had no way to predict what would become of announcing this, as the company I work for is small and I can't seem to find their policies. I also happen to live in a "right to work" state. But I knew that, sink or swim, it was necessary to say what was going on even with the chance that I might have to update the resumé and go out and buy a newspaper afterwards.
I could not have asked for things to turn out better. My employer responded with total understanding and support. I explained that, while I'm where I'm at now, it would not be a good idea to change (because of face to face interaction with the customers) but sometime this year it's looking like I will switch to a new workplace under the same company. What really surprised me was that she said the people at the new location won't need to know a thing.
The hardest part of coming out was the waiting. Waiting for my boss to arrive, then waiting for other business to be tended to before my turn to say what I needed to say. The next hardest part was of course actually saying it, but I resolved to make myself do it because it needed to be done. Afterwards, it was a breeze.
If anything, it probably helps that since before starting work here my day to day appearance has been pretty much androgynous; at least as often as not the customers call me Ma'am, especially over the phone, and I get so happy about it when they do. I've been going by my middle name this whole time (it is gender neutral) and because of that work is less stressful than at my previous job where I went by my first name. So I have to wonder if my boss may have sensed that I was somewhere in the LGBT spectrum.
So I am looking at starting RLT soon and couldn't be more excited. :D
Lucky. :D
Melissa
That's great Upside Down. I think waiting to tell someone is always the hardest part. I'm sure you feel much better now. Hope your partying.
Go girl go. :eusa_dance: :eusa_clap: :icon_biggrin:
:)
Jillieann
Congratulations!
You may have to change your screen name to Right Side Up! :D
Chaunte
Congratulations umop ap!sdn!! :eusa_clap: :eusa_clap: :eusa_clap:
* :icon_hug:*
Michelle
Thanks everyone! :)
I'm very happy about how well it went, and even moreso relieved. It's good to have her for a boss, she is such a great person to work for. :eusa_dance:
Now you can start breathing again.
How about your coworkers??? Hopefully, your boss will let them know in no uncertain terms that she supports you and won't stand for any harassment.
Are you in one of the transinclusive non-discrimination states or municipalities?
Robyn
congrats!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey,
That is very cool. All boses do not act the same. I am kind of hiding out you moght say. I get my decree tomarrow for my name change, and then I can take tthat to who I wasorking for for them to change everything in the computer. I posted in the FtM about my experience with my employer called "An Entertaining Employer Story" Even though when I told them I had quit the motn before, but they are willing to take me back, but put me in another location like you because I too had constant contact with the same people everyday and I did not want to transition on the job. Good luck with it all and be glad of the support you have at work.
Marco
Thanks Jaded and Marco! :)
Quote from: reikirobyn on June 04, 2006, 11:16:00 AM
Now you can start breathing again.
Yup, and I am so glad because of that! :D
Let's just say co-workers won't be an issue. By timing this with transferring, it looks as though I will have the option of stealth.
QuoteAre you in one of the transinclusive non-discrimination states or municipalities?
Hmmm, how to find out? I'm in Arizona, but don't know if my state/county/city are inclusive as such.
Marco, I saw your thread - it was a while ago so I will definitely have to reread it. I hope things go well for you also!
That is such great news.
I can feel the relief you have as well. It's a great feeling isn't it.
Congratulations.
Steph
Thanks Steph!
Well, I have a date set for the hearing to change my name... it's in the middle of next month. Would have been nice to get in sooner, but that's still better than not at all.
Now I wish I hadn't procrastinated so much! :D
I was gonna join the Procrastinator's Club but I never got around to it. :D
Good luck!
Julie,
Congrats and good luck. :)
Congratulations. I just noticed that your name is Julie. I wasn't sure what it was before. That's a good name and one that I had considered, being that I was fond of it for many years.
Melissa
Thanks Helen, Lost, and Melissa. :)
Yeah, not too long ago I put my new name in my member text so people would know what to call me besides umop. :D If all goes well, I will have my name legally changed next month. Julie is a name I've always liked, and I'll be glad to get rid of my given first name (can't stand the sound of it - too many bad childhood memories).
Melissa, your sig is a hoot! ;D
Quote from: umop ap!sdn on June 12, 2006, 09:20:40 PM
Melissa, your sig is a hoot! ;D
Thanks. When I think of funny things I just change my sig.
Melissa
Quote from: umop ap!sdn on June 12, 2006, 09:20:40 PM
...If all goes well, I will have my name legally changed next month. Julie is a name I've always liked, and I'll be glad to get rid of my given first name (can't stand the sound of it - too many bad childhood memories).
The name change is a huge step one that should not be taken without a lot of thought because you will definitely be out, like it or not. Will you be going full time when your name change is official as once it is you may not have much of a choice :)
Julie is a nice name, one of my favourites. How hard is it to change the name on your documents afterwards?
Chat later.
Steph
It seems that just changing your name alone would not out you. However, once you start changing it at places like social security and on your ID, then you are out. So, you could set a court date, get a name change and then let it sit until you are completely out and finish with ID changes and changes on documents.
Melissa
Quote from: Stephanie Craxford on June 13, 2006, 11:37:18 AMWill you be going full time when your name change is official as once it is you may not have much of a choice :)
Yep, that's the plan.
As it is, when I have androgynous clothes on (and I never dress as male anymore) at least as many people assume I'm a woman as assume I'm a man. Laser treatments have almost completely obliterated my facial hair and I'm taking spiro now so I'm starting to get breast growth. Even if there is an interim in which I'm not "officially" full time, I still won't have an appearance that's completely at odds with the new name.
QuoteJulie is a nice name, one of my favourites.
Cool! :)
QuoteHow hard is it to change the name on your documents afterwards?
I'm really not sure, but if it's my legal name it seems they'd have to honor my request to change the name on my ID, bank accounts, etc.
Quote from: Melissa on June 13, 2006, 01:58:48 PMSo, you could set a court date, get a name change and then let it sit until you are completely out and finish with ID changes and changes on documents.
Hadn't occurred to me to do that. But then, I've not been required to show ID at work whereas say if I wanted to go someplace and order a drink then I'd want the convenience of not having to explain. :D
Quote from: umop ap!sdn on June 13, 2006, 03:36:41 PM
Hadn't occurred to me to do that. But then, I've not been required to show ID at work whereas say if I wanted to go someplace and order a drink then I'd want the convenience of not having to explain. :D
I plan on doing this sometime between coming out to HR and going fulltime.
Melissa
Quote from: JulieHadn't occurred to me to do that. But then, I've not been required to show ID at work whereas say if I wanted to go someplace and order a drink then I'd want the convenience of not having to explain.
Anything to do with a pay check will reuire a name change, which in turn involves banks and your accounts etc. Check out "Name Change in the Wiki if you haven't alredy done so. Just type "Name Change" in the search box.
Steph