Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transitioning => Real-Life Experience => Topic started by: heatherrose on June 11, 2006, 03:16:24 PM

Title: Should I have told them?
Post by: heatherrose on June 11, 2006, 03:16:24 PM
I drive a tractor-trailer for a living and specialize in the transport of utility poles, up to 100+' in length. I have a crane attached to my truck, that I use to unload these poles.

I have delivered to a copper mine, south west of Salt Lake City, Utah, for about 4 years and have gotten to know the guys there fairly well, we've had a pretty decent working relationship. I had not been there since I went full time, untill a couple of weeks ago. Needless to say I was a little nervous about their reaction to me.

I met and followed my escort down into the pit and got to the unload point. When I got out of my truck, a guy I know came up to me and asked "Where's you honey at?" I asked "Who do you mean?" He said "I'm sorry I guess I don't know"and walked away.

I don't remember the guys being so helpful the last time, helping to unstrap and unchain the load, even rolling up the straps and puting the stuff away for me.

I climbed up into the crane seat (13' in the air, a pedistal for all to observe me.) When I finished unloading I climbed back down and another guy I know came up to me and said "I've got to tell you......", I thought "Well here it comes, they've red me.", He continued "....you run that crane better and smoother than the "GUY" that used to drive this truck." I stood there in stunned silience thinking "OMG they have no idea". Finially I said "Why thank-you, you have no idea what that means to me."

A little later as I was getting my paperwork signed I overheard one guy say something to another, that I didn't quite catch, to which the guy he was speaking to replied "I don't know I think she might be able to hurt you." I was the only "she" around.

I left with my head swimming and my heart singing. Later I got to thinking should I tell them, I am going to have to deliver there again. I just kind of feel funny, it seems like I lied to these guys. What do y'all think.   
Title: Re: Should I have told them?
Post by: Kate Thomas on June 11, 2006, 04:53:24 PM
QuoteShould I have told them?

only If they ask.

Why dont you step over to the introductions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,8.0.html) and let us in on your story.

Nice to meet you HeatherRose
KateAlice
Title: Re: Should I have told them?
Post by: raven on June 11, 2006, 05:02:08 PM
Heather,

I don't think I would tell them.  Some things are just better off left unsaid.  It is really awesome that they took you for a woman.  That is something to be proud of.
Title: Re: Should I have told them?
Post by: Kimberly on June 11, 2006, 05:22:23 PM
Hrm, an interesting arrangement.



I would tell I think. I tend to prefer friends and not so to identify themselves. I also do not like the idea of dreading going to a place because "they might have figured it out", etc.

For what my thoughts are worth...

(=
Title: Re: Should I have told them?
Post by: Melissa on June 11, 2006, 06:23:40 PM
Just remember that you never actually "lied" to them.  I wouldn't discuss it, but if somebody asks you if you're trans, then just tell them the truth.  For me, I don't mind telling people, but I don't tell everyone I meet.  It seems to work well.

Melissa
Title: Re: Should I have told them?
Post by: Elizabeth on June 11, 2006, 07:20:19 PM
Heatherrose,

I don't beleive you owe anyone an explanation.  It is a personal decision and really it only has to do with how you feel about it.  I used to be mistaken for my older brother, I finally just got tired of correcting people and let them think I was him.

Also, I used to live in Rock Springs, Wy, not all that far from Salt Lake,  and ran an electrical contracting bussiness.  I wonder if you were the one that delivered poles to me? 

Anyway, you must be very happy having passed so well.  I am not sure why you would want to spoil that?

Love always,
Elizabeth
Title: Re: Should I have told them?
Post by: Melissa on June 11, 2006, 10:43:05 PM
I used to live in Bountiful, just north of Salt Lake.

Melissa