We all hear about male privilege, especially when it comes to women working and salaries and all that, but there is also a far more subtle female privilege. For instance, women can wear pretty much anything they choose (although they may get some strange looks from other women), while men have only a limited selection of expression through clothes. People tend to treat women nicer than men. Women are assumed to be sweet and nice, while men are assumed to be aggressive and overbearing. In courts, many times things go in a woman's favor, just because she is a woman. Men tend to hold open doors and women aren't expected to. They are given things for free in hopes of winning their favor.
So, while it may not quite measure up to what a man gets from his privilege, there are some certain "perks" to being female. What does everyone think?
Melissa
Another is that if there's an assault allegation against a man by a woman, it's more often believed than vice versa. In domestic disputes, the man is almost always thought to be at fault and has to raise a huge amount of proof that he is not. And recent studies bear out what I have observed, which is that it's rarely clear cut, one party assaulting another. Still, in the vast majority of cases, it's the man who's convicted or has restraining orders issued.
Dennis
Agree with how women can wear anything they want practically. I think gay men, well the ones I know, can get away with more than the apparently straight men. Though in my town even the gay men dont wear entire female clothing. Other towns may have more freedom with that sense.
And probably child custody also with the domestic disputes.
It's a sad thing to say but unfortunately a fact of life where good looking men or women have more privilege than those who are not so good looking. I know that I've used my womanly wiles to get things done that a man would not normally be so successful at. I know when I walk into a store I'll often be served before a man, I take advantage of men by playing little miss innocent to get things. For example I bought a new pair of wiper blades for my car but as I was wearing really nice cloths and the weather was nasty I thought hey I'll drive to a service center and see what I can get. So I did, I went up-to the service counter, batted my eyelids at the attendant, and told him that I was having difficulty putting them on and could he help me out. He almost tripped over try to help. Five minutes later I had my new wipers installed. :) No charge miss :)
While we are still not equal with men in a lot of the more important areas such as employment, compensation, and promotions etc. we're getting there. Personally I'll use anything I can to get what I need. I like doors being opened for me, I like men allowing me to go ahead of them. We get cheated enough as it is, cheating husbands, charged more than men for dry cleaning and hair care, and I'm pretty sure that many get ripped off when they take their car in for service. Yep I may be blond but I sure do use it my best advantage. Ruthless maybe but I think I'm worth it. :)
Just my feelings.
Steph
Steph, you had to suffer living as male all your life. You deserve it. :) We all do.
Melissa
I know that's why I wrote it.
Steph
There is no way I would let myself be indebted to any man for anything.
Leigh
Who said anything about letting them have our debt? They just take.
Melissa
Female privilege is getting a less severe beating by the cops than what your friends got.
Female privilege is walking out of court with probation as your friends are sent up the river.
Subtle advantages? I think not.
I have to disagree with the idea that it's okay to use female privilege as a means of leveling the playing field. Want to be equal women? Then live it. Don't perpetuate the status quo this way. It also tends to perpetuate the myth of the weak helpless woman. I am no such thing. I appreciate a man or a woman holding the door but then I'm just as likely to hold it for the guy behind me. When I go out to play, I have to lug a heavy amplifier around and guys are always offering to carry it. No thanks, I'll do it myself. It's hard enough to get respect as a female player without playing the wimpy chick card. I did all this stuff in my last life and I see no reason to stop now. Courtesy should just be rule with men or women.
Dawn
<edited for clarity>
For one thing, I do not perpetuate stereotypes. For instance, last night I was with a group of women (in stealth) and we agreed to tell one thing surprising about ourselves that people would find interesting. Of course I wasn't going to out myself, but I told how I can fix my car and they were pretty impressed by that. Just showing that I am not a stereotypical female and I'm not ashamed of it either.
Melissa
Melissa, good you can fix your car. Then I will bring my car to you and you can fix my car when I break it.
Found a mechanic ;0)
Sheila
Quote from: DawnL on August 19, 2006, 01:52:17 PM
I have to disagree with the idea that it's okay to use female privilege as a means of leveling the playing field. Want to be equal women? Then live it. Don't perpetuate the status quo this way. It also tends to perpetuate the myth of the weak helpless woman. I am no such thing. I appreciate a man or a woman holding the door but then I'm just as likely to hold it for the guy behind me. When I go out to play, I have to lug a heavy amplifier around and guys are always offering to carry it. No thanks, I'll do it myself. It's hard enough to get respect as a female player without playing the wimpy chick card. I did all this stuff in my last life and I see no reason to stop now. Courtesy should just be rule with men or women.
Dawn
I generally I would agree with you in most instances, but I've come to realize several things since I started my transition. Firstly I have lost a huge amount of muscle mass and I there have been several instances where i needed the help of male friends to help me out. For instance during a pretty severe storm last year a huge oak tree was toppled on our property. No problems, I took out our rather large chain saw and started to cut the tree apart to give away as firewood. After about 15 minutes I was beat. What should have taken an hour of work took me all day and had a male offered to help I would have gladly accepted. I don't think there is any shame in that. After the tree was limbed I phoned my friend to come over with his truck to pick up the wood. He did and we started to load the truck with the wood. I picked up a log that I should have been able to lift but i struggled so much with it that he laughed and said something like "you're not as strong as you were girl, let me do that, you grab the smaller stuff". I wasn't hurt by the comments, they were made with concern, and he was right. Of course there are other instances, I find that I like being asked to dance by a man, personally I would not ask a man, as others may do, it's just something that I'm not comfortable with. And I have to admit that I love being being whisked around a dance floor by a man who knows what he is doing. While I don't always accept drinks from a man if he offers to buy me one (I only drink coke anyway), I see no problem in accepting either.
While I will always champion the professional and medical issues such as employment and equal pay for equal work, equal access and treatment under health care etc... , I'm kind of old fashioned when it comes to the social side and I don't mind being treated as a lady :)
Steph
I wouldnt mind it a bit being treated like a woman. All my life I have been treated like secounds. In my job and everywere else no one helped me lift or move anything. I think I would enjoy it.
owen
love being female
I like the way people treat me when I'm dress as the female that is the real me.
I often walk at the local mall for exercise dress as a guy but about once a week I dressed as a gal. At these times I usually wear a skirt and blouse.
When I am dress in male clothes most people including many of the sale clerks do a glancing look and turn away. But when I 'm dressed as a woman the same clerks smile at me and some of them even remember my name and say hi. Many shoppers mostly woman smile at me as we pass in the mall.
In the men's bathroom guys never speak to one another, but in the women's power room we often chit chat.
These may not be a privileges but I like the way people treat me as a woman.
Things like hold the doors and helping me with heavy loads are not just for me, but for the person who is nice enough to do them. A man/boy feel good after helping and if he get an enjoyable look at my ass or other things let him. :o I would be the last person who would want to spoil a male's good deed. ;) I also enjoy looking at a beautiful woman, that is before jealousy kicks in, and it usually does.
As a female we get paid less and are often treated as if we have only half a mind.
So I'm all for any female privileges I can get.
:)
Jillieann
If you got it use it.
Quote from: Sheila on August 20, 2006, 05:44:21 PM
Melissa, good you can fix your car. Then I will bring my car to you and you can fix my car when I break it.
Found a mechanic ;0)
Sheila
Quote from: Melissa on August 19, 2006, 04:15:22 PM
Of course I wasn't going to out myself, but I told how I can fix my car and they were pretty impressed by that.
Melissa
Posted at: August 20, 2006, 08:35:32 PM
For the most part, I usually find a good balance between being independent and having others help me. If somebody offers to help me, I won't refuse. Sometimes it's fun being the "tall one". Like I was saying, I was with that group of women and we were doing some decorating and I was able to reach areas better because I was taller than most. I would say at this point I'm not self conscious of my height even though I'm taller than 90% of women out there. Now I feel like a woman who was supposed to be tall. So for the most part, people don't really offer to help me with anything related to my height. Anyhow, back to the subject, I take advantage of female priviledge whenever it's offered, but I don't try to fill the stereotype of women being weak or stupid. I know I'm smarter than most people out there and nobody can take that away from me. In fact, I've had a few times where less was expected of me because I was a woman, but I surprised them. It's always fun breaking stereotypes.
Melissa
I love your attitude Tinkerbell. :D
Melissa
I am just as likely to hold a door open for someone as others do so for me. However, the one thing I have noticed is that many men, especially those who are of a more mature age, refuse to allow me to do so. They simply insist that I walk in ahead of them or step off the elevator before they do, etc, etc. I am not going to argue with someone for being nice. I always tried to treat the women in my life well and it is nice that I get to experience a bit of that. Take advantage? I really have not.
Another thing that happens is that others are more likely to buy meals when I go out to eat and I am not even talking about a romantic relationship. In return I either pay somewhere down the line or, if that person is set against me doing so, try to take someone out for an inexpensive eat and chat and cover the cost. Romantically, my partners tend to cover for things but I also do not mind buying some things and cooking a nice meal at another time.
I have found that as long as I can keep some sort of balance in my life, things tend to work out in the long run. That short run can really stink sometimes but it is great if it works out in the end.
Well it might be true sometimes but the reverse is also true. If you're expected to be sweet & nice (only by men by the way), then you aren't taken seriously either. This is one of the reasons for the glass ceiling.
Of course you can power dress but then you're taken for aggressive or ambitious.
In theory you can wear whatever you want but in practice you can't. You want to be accepted as much as anyone here so have to be in the flow of fashion if you want to be seen as contemporary & if you want friends around your own age you have to fit in.
So there's two sides to every coin!
:) X
Thanks Sky. That gives some good information to thing about. :)
Melissa
Hi
I didn't find it hard to integrate in society as a female. Most of my life I worked along side other women, even giving advice on women's biological functions and other things in their private lives. of course as a guy I looks very much androgynous with my hair worn shoulder length. I worked in places of employment which were mostly female employees. Like for instance at the Native Friendship Center in the home town where I brew up. Now speaking of tall the 90% goes the other way for me at 115lbs 5' 3" tall. Most of the native ladies I worked with measured nearly a foot taller then me. My soul mate is six foot tall and if she didn't bend down to kiss me I would have to look for a stool. There's a goodly lot of ladies in this town where I live now that are even taller the my soul mate Paula. Some on the Yahoo groups call me the Hobbit.
Cin
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Who said anything about letting them have our debt? They just take.
Melissa
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oh please don't go there........
I am playing the wimpy chick card
It is probably better to start a new topic, than to revive one that is seven years old, and for which many of the original commentators are gone or inactive.
Thank you.