Susan's Place Transgender Resources

So, I'm already out to a few family members, My mom, sister, two cousins and they're fine. However, the whole "coming out" process just does not appeal to me because of the possible outomes. I'd rather excomunicate myself than be excomunicated.
What about you?

I voted move away and deal with it later..

only because thats currently where I am at  :embarrassed:

Really? How is that working for you? I only ask because that's what I am thinking of doing.

I'm out to my mother and stepfather. My dad is going to be the tough one. Would rather not come out to him, but it'll be obvious once I'm on T. So, it's either come out and hope for the best or never see him again. I want him in life, so eventually, I'm going to have to tell him. It's sort of like when a girl gets pregnant and she can only hide it till it's visually obvious.
He will never accept it. He's very religious but he'll still want to be in my life, he'll just be trying to 'save me'.

I said "come out to a few" just because I've done it on an "as needed" basis. Aside from my parents, I talk to absolutely none of my own relatives. On the other hand, my wife's family sorta became my surrogate family, and all of them do know... simply because I see them a lot.

~Kate~

I voted for "Move away and deal with it later" well half my family are JWs and the other ones are kind of anti-GLBT. My dad is an ass he has a problem with women he act like they are subhuman and only good for sex. I will have come out to my sisters and mom I owe them that. I will go from there depends on their reaction.


Anna

I think I'm just going to write them a letter after I have my legal name change and have been taking hormones for a few months.  This is something that has been with me since I was 4 years old, and while I've managed to make it tolerable and have no regrets as to how I've lived my life, I just want to be ME and be comfortable in my own skin for the first time in my life.  At my age I can do whatever I please.  My only hesitation are my kids.  But I think my daughter already knows.

Jay

Everybody knows.  I told them. The ppl I didnt tell gotta know to.  They seen my fotos :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

It wasn't really necessary for me to move because I lived and worked for 8 years as Cindy in the little town of Midland Ontario. Everyone knows everyone else and I was well accepted there they just got use to me and after a time. Then my mate Wing Walker and I decided to move to BC last summer mostly for the  reason that BC has a nicer climate then Ontario in the winter especially. The bonus is no one here knows who I am except who I present as and again that is me, Cindy. As for family? pitz on them, they excommunicated me, not I, so my conscious is clear on that one. Just miss my two daughters though.

Cindy

I voted for tell every one, mainly because thats what I wish I could do. Im in the process of writing letters and trying to let them all know in defferent ways. Only my sister in law knows at the moment and I am working on the p0arents next.

<a href=https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,31752.0.html"">this is my attempt</a>.

Quote from: Chris on April 28, 2008, 01:50:34 AM
Everybody knows.  I told them. The ppl I didnt tell gotta know to.  They seen my fotos :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

youre so cool!  right now only my mom and my 2 best friends know. i live with both parents but my dad doesnt know.  my mom is probably going  tell him for me while im away at a band thing for a week so that he has time to cool off.  after that, im just going to excommunicate myself from my dads side of the family.  im not, and never was one of them.  i shouldnt have a lot of trouble with my moms side of the family, so i'll probably just wait till they notice.  lol

I voted all family members.
I told my family about four years ago that i was transgender
About a year ago i told them i was starting transition towards surgery and glad i did becouse i lost my father early this year.He was, allong with my mother a great help & support

Hey Jonas,
Please don't say " there was this one time at band camp" or I'll scream.   ;D

I voted for some because the important ones already know.  And I am sure my folks told everyone else.  And now that Mom and Dad are both gone I don't have much contact with the others.

:icon_love:,
Janet

I went with : Come out to a few family members
As this is what is really is working for me now, not sure about the rest of the family how or if I should really bother with it as I think its hopeless, but thats for my family, remember there's not a correct answer here I'm afraid to say...hope it all works out smoothly for you.  :)

gina

I would prefer to tell my family, but do it on my terms.

My brother (who is non-supportive) and sister out'ed me to Mom about a year ago.  This was in response to a TV news story about the "teacher that was changing sex."  After that...  Well...  Let's just say that its not a secret anymore.

Chaunte

I said coming out to a few family members beacause that's what I did.  I haven't come out yet to my father or brothers & I know that's going to be very difficult, especially given the fact that I'm the oldest sibling.  By coming out to a few family members at a time, the more support I'll have when I tell my father & brothers.

Get it out and over with.  It can drag on forever and eat at you emotionally for the duration. You don't need that.  You have started to come to terms with this.  Now it falls on your family to support or reject you.  Don't ever give up on them. Take the high road.

C

An update since I answered this poll a month ago: I'm out to my kids.  My daughter is cool with it; my son is at the age where he wont' discuss anything if he thinks it has to do with sex.  I'm also out to my best college buddy (he's supportive) and my online best friend.

My letters are composed, I should start T very soon, and as soon as I start my legal name stuff will be filed.

Jay

Quote from: sneakersjay on May 28, 2008, 07:47:01 PM
An update since I answered this poll a month ago: I'm out to my kids.  My daughter is cool with it; my son is at the age where he wont' discuss anything if he thinks it has to do with sex.  I'm also out to my best college buddy (he's supportive) and my online best friend.

My letters are composed, I should start T very soon, and as soon as I start my legal name stuff will be filed.

Jay

Good to hear Jay, Its great when it works out pain free....congrats on your progress. Its always a nice feeling to know the mones are within reach...good luck. :)

gina

I came out to my dad first. he said "so what let's go fishing". My sister said "I love you and wished you would of said something earlier so you did not have to suffer all those years alone".

Then i told my aunt hoping that she would tell my Mom. My aunt said "it is your responsibility to tell your Mom, my sister".

So I told my Mom, She said: "as long as i go out with someone who looks goods it did not matter". I hung up the phone with plans to call my mom later to relieve the parental guilt.

My phone started ringing off the hook from family member's. My Mom outted me to everyone.

I remember calling my mom back and asking her why she is causing drama? she said "Your out aren't you?"

Quote from: Robin_p on June 06, 2008, 03:02:47 PM"Your out aren't you?"

OMW this sounds like something my mom would do- tell all the friends so they can tell all the world. Lol.

hope it worked out well tho.
*hugs*

Hi Eloise well I was never a natal mother but I had the privilege of having 11 children under my roof through the years and I had long since fired my ex from the job. I had three kids from her. I worked as a social worker and all the folks at the children's aid knew me. So yea I think a mom has allot to brag about their children with the neighbors. The only way to satisfy a nosy neighbor is to be avid at telling stories. "Hee, hee, hee." Nothing more I loved to was having a bunch of kids following up behind me when ever I went to town.

One day out of each week I also had the privilege of driving the ladies from the reservation to bingo downtown and I had the privilege of baby siting their children who were left in my care.

Cindy

that sounds so sweet Cindy. i don't know if I'll ever have children of my own, but i love them to bits- especially the pre-school ones. adorable aren't they? Hehe.

I'd prefer to only come out to a few family members and friends (whom i hardly see anymore, so it doesn't really matter. i can always make new ones. ^_^). if it would work out that way in the end is probably a different matter entirely. Lol

Hi Eloise, ahhhhhh but each new day is an adventure. It's not hard at all, even just an ordinary walk in the park will suffice. Study everything with concentration of the power of observation you will be surprised to see that which not many can see. Then try doing the same thing with people, People being so complex though that it takes a little time to read who they are just studying their face and of course the windows to their soul, the eyes, "hee, hee," it can be quite interesting what you discover. You make a habit of doing observation thing and you see new things. Like you have just stepped off the bus and taken your first tentative steps on the surface of this new world. Yes it has never failed to give me a new adventure every day. 

Cindy

update:

my mom told my dad and he was completely fine.  i was like wow...  then my mom got pissed at me for some reason, and told her entire side of he family. :(  i wasnt ready yet.... but theyre all okay with it anyways. :P

Quote from: JonasCarminis on June 06, 2008, 08:55:47 PM
update:

my mom told my dad and he was completely fine.  i was like wow...  then my mom got pissed at me for some reason, and told her entire side of he family. :(  i wasnt ready yet.... but theyre all okay with it anyways. :P

AWH... *huggles*. what a backfire on your mom. Hehe. I'm sure it'll be ok- if it's anything, i just think it has to sink in a bit. *huggles*
Better not give her extra reasons to be angry. *huggles* Sweety.
everything will be fine.

Hi Robin that was so wonderful that your family accepted you, you must have a realy amazing family. It will be nice to get their support, it will make transitioning so much easier for you.

Cindy