Since October, I have lost 22 pounds. Going from 137 to 115.
I still feel the need to lose weight. I want to be 105 (I'm about 5'4"). I know that's probably way too skinny but I keep telling myself that's where I want to be. I guess you could def. call me a twink. I'm gay and look young and tiny.
My boyfriend loves me no matter what, however, he does joke about my skinniness and even worries about me. Even my family accuses me of anorexia. I'm not anorexic, I just don't eat near as much as I used to and I demand to be skinnier.
How do you feel about my weight? Will be it harder to hide curves and what not? Am I showing signs of an eating disordeR?
I feel you should talk with a doctor about your desired weight.
Sarah L.
Brady, please listen to me because what you are doing in more dangerous then you could imagine. First of all there are two things called anorexia, one is Anorexia Nervosa and then there is physiological Anorexia. Anorexia is defined as a lack of normal appetite. If it is caused by a desire to lose weight as a result of unhealthy body image it is Anorexia Nervosa. If this is the case then it is it's own illness. If it is caused by another physical illness or medication then it is Physiological Anorexia and is a symptom of a larger concern that may be highly treatable.
Now there are many cases of misdiagnosis of Anorexia Nervosa when the true cause was physical but from what you are saying to me it sounds like Anorexia Nervosa. You need to go to your doctor to make sure though that there isn't a physiological cause. For the purposes of this post though I will assume Anorexia Nervosa. While many doctors would say you can't diagnosis this disorder if the person a) still has their mens or if they aren't refusing to maintain a BMI of at least 18; I personally think that is foolishness. If you went to 105 you would be under this BMI and officially qualify for Anorexia Nervosa diagnosis. Even people who maintain higher BMI (18+) are at increased health risks though.
For a minute though I would like to leave the realm of pounds and inches. Brady, you have already loss an excessive amount of weight and your goal to lose more because of your discomfort with your body smacks of Anorexia Nervosa. You state that your partner and family are worried about you, you voice a lack of insight of how your own body should look/ be and you want to go further in spite of this. These are all hallmarks of Anorexia Nervosa and sadly just because you say you don't have it means little, the signs point to this and warrant further investigation by professionals.
Now FTMs are at high risk for eating disorder because of GID and the discomfort with their bodies. I am not arguing that you should be comfortable with your body but I am arguing against a disorder that has the highest mortality rate of any mental health disorder. If this is the case then hormones can help but as long as you think that it is better to hide your body then to be healthy you will be in a bad place and need help. Men aren't really supposed to be skin and bones (and neither are women), testosterone use usually precludes this unless you are ill or starving.
I would really suggest that if you are going to have a body dysmorphic disorder that you pick something involving staying in shape. Choose roles models who are fit and healthy. People like Lance Armstrong are good choices because while they might be viewed as skinny they are in truth very healthy with a strong body. Some people just have an obsessive personality and if you must obsess then obsess about being healthy and in good physical shape, not being skin and bones.
I am worried about you because the path you are choosing is dangerous and is grounds to refuse to allow you to transition which would most likely be even harder on you. I would like you to get to your doctor and tell them the truth. You can address this with the proper support, professionals and a willingness to get better. The longer you do this the more likely it is to be fatal and untreatable. I am not joking here and I encourage you to continue to talk about this because you are valuable and deserve to have a healthy body. It isn't an easy path but it can get better.
Finally in answer to your questions, your current weight is borderline underweight. I don't like it. It will become harder to pass as you lose weight because men typically aren't that skinny. Your chest will remain and your hips might decrease but odds are you will be lose more muscle mass. This will also tend to out you. Losing or gaining weight is usually a poor way to hide your curves. You already pass without screwing your body up. You are showing signs of an eating disorder and need to get assessment and treatment. Brady get some help, ok, buddy boy? Incidentally we are the same height and I am trying to maintain 135lbs. I have physiological Anorexia that was misdiagnosed as Nervosa. You aren't alone unless you hide from yourself.
->-bleeped-<-boy
I think you have a right to do whatever you please and that our opinions of your weight are irrelevant. I'm 5'6", only weigh 110, and it causes no problems for me.
Wow, ->-bleeped-<-boy. That's some scary stuff. I didn't know it was that serious.
I maintain about a 1000 calorie a day diet, going over board up to about 1400 calories some days.
I would love to work out, however, I don't have time between school in work but in the summer I should have more time.
Any idea of a good calorie amount to maintain?
I must admit to being a bit concerned. While most guys don't have eating disorders, most guys also don't have a female body to contend with. I think it could be a manifestation of the dysphoria. However, I do think you're showing signs of an eating disorder. It's one thing to care about your health, it's another to be obsessed with weight.
There's a way to calculate the proper calorie intake based on your size and metabolism. However, it normally requires a doctor or a dietician.
1400 calories seems ideal, based on what I know about nutrition.
And I don't see what everyone is worried about. You don't show signs of being obsessed with weight, just a mild (and normal) concern.
Sadly enough, I think I am obsessed.
Today, I've had about 500 calories and want to at most consume 1000, however, I plan on hittin about 800. I know this isn't healthy but I can't lose weight in other ways.
I did weight watchers for a long time and it worked, but it took like 4 months to lose just like 10 pounds. I'm comfortable with my arms/stomach/chest etc. It's my stupid butt and thighs that I'm working on now.
What hurts the most is the fact that I'm getting obsessed with other people's weight. My mom and sister are dieting. My mom does a pretty good job but my sister is probably an inch shorter than me and weighs about 145. I am very concerned about her health though I think, not her weight. She packs in probably 1000-1800 calories at lunch and then again at dinner, with things like cake and ice cream for breakfast. Do you think I am obsessed with her weight or health? Is it because of my own obsession?
I don't exactly know how to ask for help (my mom). She is pretty concerned but I told her every thing is okay. How could I say something? (Perhaps if I visited a doctor, they could direct me to a good local therapist for T? Yes?)
You are already underweight for your height as a man.
You should be at least 130.
Average weight for 5'4"
Slim build - 130-138
Medium build - 135-145
Heavy build - 142-156
If you are on T., 105 is dangerous. 115 is bad enough. If you are not on T, I am not sure what will happen when you get on it, but it will likely be nothing good. When I was younger people thought I was 20 pounds underweight (I looked it) and people were concerned for my health.
Brady, dude, obsessing about weight is what girls do. Guys obsess about power, money and girls.
Brady, I had anorexia in high school, because I couldn't stand curvy female bodies. I wanted to keep my flat ironing board shape. I succeeded, but it set me up for YEARS of hating my body, years of binging and starving (I never purged or took laxatives) and obsessive exercising. It wasn't until almost my 40s that I was finally more accepting of my body, fat OR thin.
Seriously, do some soul searching. I, too, thought I couldn't possibly have a 'disease.' I was obsessed with calories, obsessed with the scale, obsessed with going 'lower' each day. I think you are bordering on possibly going over the edge with an eating disorder.
I totally understand, man. BTDT. But you're lucky. You'll be taking T soon. I'm more than TWICE your age (ouch! lol) and I haven't started yet either.
Take care of yourself. Just think ahead to T and working out.
Jay
You guys actually really helped me.
I actually ate a real dinner tonight and went shopping for healthy, sensible foods that I WILL start eating more of tomorrow.
Although I'm still going to eat healthy, I'm going to try to get a little more food in me.
Thanks a lot yall :)
Quote from: sd on April 30, 2008, 05:40:43 PM
Average weight for 5'4"
Slim build - 130-138
Medium build - 135-145
Heavy build - 142-156
If you are on T., 105 is dangerous. 115 is bad enough. If you are not on T, I am not sure what will happen when you get on it, but it will likely be nothing good. When I was younger people thought I was 20 pounds underweight (I looked it) and people were concerned for my health.
Where does your information come from? I think you're mistaken. I know bio guys who are perfectly healthy and weigh 125 at 6'1. Everyone is different.
Quote from: tekla on April 30, 2008, 05:50:28 PM
obsessing about weight is what girls do. Guys obsess about power, money and girls.
LMAO
Ouch. You sound like the man eating, blood thirsty, neo-femmenist that lives down the street from me. :-\
Brady, try working out dude. You dont need to go to the gym everyday; according to ACSM guidelines in order for strength building to be affective you only need to lift 2-3 times a week, 1 set of 10-12 reps, and do 8-10 different exercises. That'd take you maybe an hour, tops. Try setting a workout goal that specafies which days you will work out durring the week. It worked for me. ;D
Good luck buddy!
Quote from: Milo on April 30, 2008, 07:31:48 PM
Quote from: sd on April 30, 2008, 05:40:43 PM
Average weight for 5'4"
Slim build - 130-138
Medium build - 135-145
Heavy build - 142-156
If you are on T., 105 is dangerous. 115 is bad enough. If you are not on T, I am not sure what will happen when you get on it, but it will likely be nothing good. When I was younger people thought I was 20 pounds underweight (I looked it) and people were concerned for my health.
Where does your information come from? I think you're mistaken. I know bio guys who are perfectly healthy and weigh 125 at 6'1. Everyone is different.
Only if they are a rail.
Those numbers are pretty standard in the medical community. I was quoted similar as a child since I was so skinny.
There are charts all over for weight vs. height. At 6'1" 150, people thought I would not even qualify for the Air Force due to how skinny I was.
Just search for "height weight ratio"
I found 3 right away that agree.
At 115@5'4", Brady is at the lower end of a woman's average.
Any lower than 105 pounds, he would not even qualify for the Marines.
By the way, for 6'1", 150 pounds is the lowest for a small framed male. I was that height/weight and typically wore the smallest pants I could get for my inseam. Shopping was a real pain. More than once I had to have the waist taken in or wear a belt just to keep them up.
Brady, glad to hear you had a healthy dinner. What is most important is your health, no matter what weight you are. And in order to be healthy you need to eat enough calories so your body/brain can function at full capacity. Otherwise you risk serious damage. Not just physical, but mental as well.
I've had two really good friends battle with eating disorders, and it scares the ->-bleeped-<- out of me. Both didn't think they had a problem until it was almost too late.
We're here for you dude...
I think you need to look at yourself from another angle. You seem to be of the mindset that weight loss is what determines being fit. It is not kilograms that you really want to loose, it is centimeters. Muscle is denser than fat, so two people can have the same height and weight, but the slimmer one is the one with more muscle mass. Scratchy here is right. EXERCISE is the key. I am 1.55 meters and 68 kilo. Am I fat or unhealthy? No, because it is mostly muscle mass thus keeping me in good and fit proportions. If you kept those 10 pounds that you desire to loose as muscle mass, you will be much better off than if you got rid of the weight altogether.
PS. judging by your avitar pic, you look quite fit to me, so no need to obsess. (words from a die-hard aestheticist)
Quote from: sd on April 30, 2008, 07:49:43 PM
Quote from: Milo on April 30, 2008, 07:31:48 PM
Quote from: sd on April 30, 2008, 05:40:43 PM
Average weight for 5'4"
Slim build - 130-138
Medium build - 135-145
Heavy build - 142-156
If you are on T., 105 is dangerous. 115 is bad enough. If you are not on T, I am not sure what will happen when you get on it, but it will likely be nothing good. When I was younger people thought I was 20 pounds underweight (I looked it) and people were concerned for my health.
Where does your information come from? I think you're mistaken. I know bio guys who are perfectly healthy and weigh 125 at 6'1. Everyone is different.
Only if they are a rail.
Those numbers are pretty standard in the medical community. I was quoted similar as a child since I was so skinny.
There are charts all over for weight vs. height. At 6'1" 150, people thought I would not even qualify for the Air Force due to how skinny I was.
Just search for "height weight ratio"
I found 3 right away that agree.
At 115@5'4", Brady is at the lower end of a woman's average.
Any lower than 105 pounds, he would not even qualify for the Marines.
All of the FTMs here should be comparing to the female scale for reference as we all have female bodies.
The disparity between my height and weight is greater than Brady's but every time I discuss it with a doctor I am told that I have nothing to worry about because it's my natural state. I see no reason why he should have to worry either, as long as he's taking care of himself.
I am the man eating, blood thirsty, neo-feminist down the street from you. (and thanks, that is the nicest thing anyone has said to me in a long time.) And it does seem that guys, as a rule, are not obsessed about weight to the degree that women are - could be a social/cultural deal, but it does seem to be true.
And where I live and work, if someone dropped that much weight in that amount of time we would not be thinking anorexia. We would think, AIDS or Meth, and since the second one is obvious it must be the first.
Quote from: Milo on April 30, 2008, 09:23:09 PM
All of the FTMs here should be comparing to the female scale for reference as we all have female bodies.
The disparity between my height and weight is greater than Brady's but every time I discuss it with a doctor I am told that I have nothing to worry about because it's my natural state. I see no reason why he should have to worry either, as long as he's taking care of himself.
True to a point, but he is still heading down pretty low. Just be careful Brady.
Brady, no one here can tell you how much you need to eat, because no one here knows how much you move/work in a day. I know guys who load and unload trucks who can eat 3-4 full meals a day, three slices of cheesecake, and a six pack every night and not gain weight because of how much they are working themselves.
Yeah, 115 seems somewhat light for a height of 5'4". And yeah, in your avatar you look A-OK to me as far as fitness is concerned. It really is the inches or centimeters (depending on your measuring system) that count. Heck I'm 5'7" and I weigh 165 lbs. People say I look like I weigh 140. But that's the power of muscle density, you weigh a lot without looking like it. You weigh 115 which seems pretty darn thin to me.
But as far as how much to eat, it really depends on what you're eating. Packages can tell you all about serving size and calorie content. Having read the label of a snickers bar, I got a little freaked out. I don't eat snickers. All those calories could come from something that takes up a bit more space in my stomach.
Since the avatar pic, I've probably lost about 10 pounds. Was around 125 there.
Brady,are you on testosterone? If not then 115 isn't the end of the world but you shouldn't go further. My concerns are because you clearly don't need to lose weight but think you do. That and the concerns of those around you are pretty big red flags. I am not qualified to diagnosis you nor is anyone on this board which is why I want you to go and talk honestly to a therapist, doctor, teacher or parent. The problem with distorted body image isn't something to deal with by yourself or online even if you are living a healthier life you can still need help dealing with body image.
IF you want to be healthy the route is simple, easy and cheap. You may have to change how you think though. The number one thing is to get rid of the scale and measuring tape. You will need a mat, blanket or towel to lie on and a large balance ball to sit on.
First change in life; give up chairs. Start sitting on the ball with proper posture whenever you are sitting in the house. You will have great balance and core strength.
Second every morning and before dinner do as many push/sit/chin ups as you can. Make it a goal to push yourself for one more. Then have a shower and get dressed.
Third, whenever possible take the harder route. If there are stairs take them and the bus drops you off a few stops away. When you are bored do push ups off a wall, chin ups on a tree or push yourself up on counters. In other words be active in your life.
Fourth, go for a walk after every meal, even if it is only five minutes.
Fifth, maintain good posture while walking, sitting or standing. Try to always keep your abs engaged.
Sixth, go to sleep and sleep properly.
Snack on veggeies and fruit, your mother was right all these years. Eat a breakfast of fruit, whole grains like wheat, oats, teff, buckwheat etc; fruit and yogurt. Have some nuts, beans, greens and yogurt at least twice a day. Meat once a day. Seeds can account for 70% of calories but no more. Only whole seeds and choose different ones. Use skim milk products. Bag lunches and snacks are healthy, enviromentally friendly and if you are saving for surgery will really make a difference. If you want calories info give your details and I will tell you.
I have to force myself to eat so I figured I might as well force myself to eat right. I eat a calorie restriction(CR) diet that means I eat my basic metobolic requirement (BMR) plus according to activity. I do the same for my dog. The goal is to have energy, be fit and not be tired. CR is about being fit, exceeding our vitamin needs through food, having the energy to do what we want with the least calories. It requires thought about what you eat but it allows for the occasionally splurge. Many studies have shown that CR extends life expectency and provides a healthier life. My own experience has agreed with the healthier life (apart from smoking). Diet however is only half the coin the other is excerise and can't be avoided. For you off the top of my head I would say 1400 BMR and 400- 1000 for energy for studies, excesize and healing/ growing.
FTMs who are pre testosterone should place themselves in women's standards and post testosterone in men's. Don't use BMI it is a bad standard. Instead use the military standard because it looks at height, frame and sex; it also assumes a fit condition. Your goal is toned and strong muscles, good functional strength and balance. You need to love your body to do this. This is life baby you just got to live.
I often get asked how I keep my dog in such good shape. I tell them what I was told many years ago. If he needs more I give him more, if he needs less I give him less.
->-bleeped-<-boy who is going to bed and is very sorry for spelling or other errors right now...
I am not on T.
My "diet" before was living basically off 6-10 100 calories packs a day.
I would just eat those constantly to keep my metabolism going.
However, I'm trying to be healthier. I'm still going to consume around 1200 calories, but use them more wisely than Cheese Nips and little cupcakes. Like this morning, half a cup of soy milk and reduced-sugar oatmeal, 170 calories. Not bad?
Good choices Brady, add some fruit or berries and you doing well. Btw it is a whole lot cheaper to buy quick cook oatmeal in bulk and just use 1/3 of a cup. I know oatmeal can get boring so try other grains as well. I need more info but I have to run so I can either post the questions or you can PM me.
->-bleeped-<-boy
You don't want to eat below 1200 cals a day, cos lower than that your body goes into starvation mode, which besides being very unhealthy for your body, once you eat more than that you'll gain it all back quickly because your body holds onto everything it can get. I used to not eat because I hated the feminine parts of my body and wanted to get rid of them, dropped down to an unhealthy weight (103 at 5'5) and still wasn't satisfied. You just get into this vicious cycle, you think you'll be satisfied at a certain weight but once you reach it you want to lose more.. it's just not healthy man. Just work out, eat enough, and don't worry about the scale as much, it's all about how you look. At 5'4 someone could weigh 110 and look the same as someone that weighs 140, just remember muscle weighs more than fat.
Unless you have some morbid obesity deal (which you don't) there is little to no need to count calories. Eat when your hungry, stop when your full, work, work, work.