Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Female to male transsexual talk (FTM) => Topic started by: Dante on May 05, 2008, 08:50:40 PM

Title: I'm getting worse by the second... Someone please help me!
Post by: Dante on May 05, 2008, 08:50:40 PM
I've told my parents, but they don't do anything about it. Sometimes it feels like I never told them. I'm getting more depressed and isolated by the second. In fact, when I got home from school today, there was a broken mug on the counter, and I picked up the handle and sliced it across my thumb. I actually cut myself on purpose! It was only a small cut this time, but I know that it will only get worse from here. I've been having suicidal thoughts lately, but for now, I know I couldn't actually do it.

Someone, please help me. I can't take this much longer. I've thought about skipping school many times, because I just can't take the stress, but I always manage to get myself to go.

If I can't do something to progress from this state, I'm as good as dead. SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME!  :icon_headache: :icon_tears: :icon_userfriendly: :icon_zombie: :eusa_wall:
Title: Re: I'm getting worse by the second... Someone please help me!
Post by: Luc on May 05, 2008, 08:54:03 PM
I've been through it all, man. Everything. Cutting, suicide attempts, etc. It sucks, but eventually, things work out. The thing I found that helped the most was having people to talk to me, people who were or had gone through the same thing I was. I'm not online often, but I'll pm you my phone number. You shouldn't have to be alone. Hold on.

Sebastien
Title: Re: I'm getting worse by the second... Someone please help me!
Post by: James-Alen on May 05, 2008, 08:55:52 PM
Oh, hun I'm sorry :/ That is bad that they dont acknowledge you but please! Dont cut yourself! That truly will do NOTHING along the lines of helping you! How old are you btw if you dont mine my asking?

Sometimes parents are in denial and dont understand, that doesnt mean they dont care, talk more with them, talk with us, we would love to help you are you new to all this? Just please, please dont say that S word it makes my skin crawl! I understand your predicament, I've been there (though I havent come out yet totally so you're much braver than I am!).

got any messengers? I'd be more than  happy to talk.


Title: Re: I'm getting worse by the second... Someone please help me!
Post by: Scratchy Wilson on May 05, 2008, 09:06:31 PM
Parents are stubborn, you need to train them to listen to what you are saying. They don't want to hear that you want to change your physical appearance to match your inner self, so you need to assert yourself.
As far as them not doing anything about it, well, that's not their job. You are the only one that can make yourself happy, and ultimately the only one who can make a change for yourself. If you want to start transitioning you need to take matters into your own hands and contact therapists and doctors. There are lots of non-profit organizations where you can get free counseling. If you have health insurance then that makes things a lot easier, because you can just request to see a therapist and boom, request granted.

Also, everyone needs a pal once in a while. I am totally open to hearing what you have to say about parents, transitioning, girls, life in general. If you ever need to talk just message me.  :)
Title: Re: I'm getting worse by the second... Someone please help me!
Post by: soldierjane on May 05, 2008, 09:07:00 PM
You can't expect your parents to do your transition for you, these things take time and it's not a bed of roses. How old are you, sweetie?
About the cutting... if you're not addicted to it yet, you can always put your heart into not relenting when the craving comes. At the beginning it's just a conscious gesture and it will help temper your spirit for the coming jolts of transition.

Give your parents some time and start walking the walk. You're not alone, we're here :) *hugs*
Title: Re: I'm getting worse by the second... Someone please help me!
Post by: Dante on May 05, 2008, 09:07:17 PM
Thanks for all your support. I really appreciate it.

I'm not allowed to tell my age by forum rules, but thanks for taking interest. I've been TS for about 2 years now, but I didn't find the term until the middle of last year. So I guess I'm fairly new to this, but not really. I just really need help before it gets out of hand. Again, I thank you so much for listening. You have no idea how much it means to me.
Title: Re: I'm getting worse by the second... Someone please help me!
Post by: Nero on May 05, 2008, 09:08:16 PM
Quit cutting. Start caring about yourself.
Title: Re: I'm getting worse by the second... Someone please help me!
Post by: Ell on May 05, 2008, 09:14:27 PM
Quote from: The_Unforgiven on May 05, 2008, 08:50:40 PM
I've told my parents, but they don't do anything about it. Sometimes it feels like I never told them. I'm getting more depressed and isolated by the second. In fact, when I got home from school today, there was a broken mug on the counter, and I picked up the handle and sliced it across my thumb. I actually cut myself on purpose! It was only a small cut this time, but I know that it will only get worse from here. I've been having suicidal thoughts lately, but for now, I know I couldn't actually do it.

Someone, please help me. I can't take this much longer. I've thought about skipping school many times, because I just can't take the stress, but I always manage to get myself to go.

If I can't do something to progress from this state, I'm as good as dead. SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME!  :icon_headache: :icon_tears: :icon_userfriendly: :icon_zombie: :eusa_wall:

aw sweetie, you're so young, you've got to know that this is a process that takes time as much as anything else. i had to wait until my forties to get started! and yes, i was a bit of a zombie in some of those years. nobody has the same schedule, and you're gonna need to learn patience for lots of different situations. in many ways, you're way ahead of schedule than many of us here. Take a deep breath, and tell yourself it's OK to be on the schedule you're on.

if you get any worse, you're gonna have to call suicide prevention, ok?

-Ellie
Title: Re: I'm getting worse by the second... Someone please help me!
Post by: buttercup on May 05, 2008, 09:24:56 PM
We care about you, please don't let yourself get too down, it makes it harder to get up again.  :)
As Ell has said, please call someone if you're feeling off kilter.

buttercup  :) 
Title: Re: I'm getting worse by the second... Someone please help me!
Post by: Dante on May 06, 2008, 08:44:45 PM
My dad just gave me a lecture about pessimism and optimism. I'm sitting there listening to him tell me how pessimistic I am, and that I should have some goals and dreams to shoot for. I already have a dream, but I need his help to achieve it, so HE'S the roadblock I need to get around. My dream is to be a boy, and they just don't get it.

Does anyone know what I can say to him to make him understand?
Title: Re: I'm getting worse by the second... Someone please help me!
Post by: sneakersjay on May 06, 2008, 08:58:09 PM
Can you convince your parents to take you to a therapist (if you're not already going)?  That helps tremendously.

And we're here.

Jay
Title: Re: I'm getting worse by the second... Someone please help me!
Post by: Dante on May 06, 2008, 09:01:47 PM
Well, he suggested that I go see one, and I wasn't sure, but I think I'll try and find someone around here that specializes in gender, then I'll go and talk to him about it.

Thanks for the help.
Title: Re: I'm getting worse by the second... Someone please help me!
Post by: Benjamin on May 07, 2008, 06:38:14 AM
A good therapist would not only help you, but, best case scenario, would also assist you in helping your parents understand.  Good luck.  Hang in, and you'll get there!
Title: Re: I'm getting worse by the second... Someone please help me!
Post by: zombiesarepeaceful on May 08, 2008, 10:09:43 PM
dont make the mistake of cutting. i did and now both my arms are scarred up to hell, something i regret, it wasn't worth it. short term relief but think about the long term...you'll be an adult someday, free to live your own life, free to love and live for yourself..think about it. i was headstrong when i transitioned at the age of 16...now I'm older and i dont regret my attitude then...don't back down, you are who you are. let them see that confidence.
Title: Re: I'm getting worse by the second... Someone please help me!
Post by: RebeccaFog on May 09, 2008, 01:53:50 PM

    Whatever happens with your parents, please be sure to take care of yourself.  You don't want them using cutting as an excuse or reason for believing you're not stable enough to know yourself.
    Do the therapy thing and make plans.  Come up with a plan and goals for yourself.  First, start with those things that you can do such as dressing or haircut, then move on to the more difficult things slowly.  I say slowly because you want to make good choices.  Don't accept any setbacks as being a dead end.  As you go along, you will learn more and become the man you want to be.


Rebis