Recently someone online asked me this:
QuoteI have a question and I don't want to seem rude but...
Why not change your mind to fit your body? Wouldn't that be a bit more socially easier...noone knows you have a female mind then.
How do you know you have a females mind? I mean...what's the diff.?
I told this person this:
QuoteI dont change my mind, because I AM my mind.
Your body is just a vessel. If you were able to take out your brain and put it in another persons body, you would no longer be in your body, because your body is nothing more that your visual identity. Your sense of you, your self awareness all comes from your brain.
Changing how I think is actually very disastrous. A few renegade therapists as well as churches claim to "cure" transsexuality and homosexuality with special group sessions and camps. What those camps do basically brainwashes them and ridicules them for how they feel until they are "scared straight" They psychologically traumatize them until they think they are straight and not trans and then live on in unspeakable denial and internal suffering.
That is why I will not change my mind. Honestly I tried to act and think like a boy is supposed to. I tried up until I snapped at age 18. I can't because I am not.
What would you of said?
What do you think about what I said?
I agree. Its a logical response.
I wish my mom were smart enough to get those facts, or not scapegoat every other thing and blame it on that.
"Its the new meds you're on, isn't it?"
"No mom... LISTEN. That is not why I'm depressed, its the OTHER THING I told you about."
"Well... When did you start taking the meds?/you're acting just like you used to when you crashed from the Ritalyn!"
"Mom... I'm not on a stimulant, its a completely different medication!"
"I bet you its close to it-"
"No mom... And if you (effing) listened to me at ALL, you'd know why I was depressed."
Then she blamed it on the meds once again when I begged her if she could help me find a specialist to just TALK to. She has no idea I've been on hormones, and I've acted "normally" to her for the "week before" ADHD medication. She's SO DUMB. I don't get it... I haven't even tried to hide my developing breasts. I also mentioned how my metabolism magically slowed down, and how thankful I was for not having to eat 12 times a day.
... I hate my life...
I spent 47 years trying to make my mind fit my body. It didn't work...
Jay
I am changing my mind to fit my body. I decided that forcing myself to be a miserable drunken coke addict wasn't all that good for me so I'm allowing my body to fit my mind :D isn't that a wonderful change?
Sides, do you really want to deal with that loud violent jerk?
I think you summed up that one pretty well Gracie.
Changing your mind changes who you are. The transgender and gay ministries through churches are often not friendly, and you made your point very clear. There are some exceptions, but the risk is not often worth the potential benefit.
As for the diff between a boy's mind and a girl's-- I've always found that really hard to explain to people. It's more of how I feel about myself, whether I self identify as a girl or not, regardless of physical sex.
Anyway, good job, Gracie!
I never had that question, but i can imagine it. I agree totally... while id have liked to change my mind, i couldnt. so its making the best of a bad situation....
This really isnt something that canbe understood unless one has something that makes them the same way, be that gay, trans, etc
R >:D
Simple answer really - It doesn't work.
true, but tards dont understand that....
hence the explainy bit...
R >:D
The one's with questions like this I guess also believe that any GID or gender related problem could be corrected or eliminated and be normal again in their world... :eusa_wall: I just love it when people think they have answers to everything... >:(
You handled the situation quite well Gracie, good for you ! :)
gina
Very wise words.
Now i know what to answer, the few times i get this asked. Thanks!
Quote from: Gracie FAISE on May 15, 2008, 10:55:15 PM
Recently someone online asked me this:
Quote
How do you know you have a females mind? I mean...what's the diff.?
Which is why I avoid saying
"I'm a woman inside" to anyone, as to me that's just more justification and apologizing for what we've done, AND it opens the door for someone to ask questions just like that.
I do like your explanation though!
~Kate~
About the only way I know to change my mind about this is to get a lobotomy.
Quote from: Lisbeth on May 16, 2008, 12:34:17 PM
About the only way I know to change my mind about this is to get a lobotomy.
Its why I've had the wish aliens could abduct me some night and explain exactly what my brain meant to me, after taking each piece out, and then placing them back in.
hi.... to that i reply why dont you just hear us. instead of us complying to you & what you want .you dont understand us .so as i would say now back off. any way how do i change my mind its wired as female as well as male he he . oh dear now what do i do. oh too late i am a women now , oh what went wrong there ....oh just me so i live as a women ......next thing .....some of the church.s .....its just the same i get from a good few i am meeting with one group now i get . we will pray for you to be healed ,, to be changed back . not on your life
umm back to what i am . me both male & female ,,,,why be cause .....YOU .... can not accept me for who i am . oh i do not conform to there thinking oh .. i must have got that wrong what from the age of 10 yea......i think i know who i am now at 60 years of age , well may be not . so i am a nut case yea & i love it ....what i am trying to do is say will you just accept us for who we are ..... just a thought .....as you know i am making light of this . other wise i would be a nut case.... hey you all out there that have problems in the churchs just please dont let them get to you . i know how they think. the thing is its not based on truth so take care . there are some neat people in the churchs & they do just accept me for who i am they are so neat we have to find them . so dont give up i did for a while i said bu,,**##.... er them i got sick of the attitude that was shown . now i see some are not so hard & fast . so i think there is hope . will see ill let you know how i go,,,,,,,..... noeleena......
If I could change my mind and not want to transition I would. Why? It would be a lot easier on my kid, wife, job, life, friends, career.
I have to die...like take myself out of the picture. In societies eyes I become somebody else. This other person they knew to exist is gone.
What people fail to understand is there is no changing the mind. You can't change who you are. There simply is no other choice. I wished there was. I'd take it.
I guess I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
Quote from: Kate on May 16, 2008, 10:22:29 AM
Quote from: Gracie FAISE on May 15, 2008, 10:55:15 PM
Recently someone online asked me this:
Quote
How do you know you have a females mind? I mean...what's the diff.?
Which is why I avoid saying "I'm a woman inside" to anyone, as to me that's just more justification and apologizing for what we've done, AND it opens the door for someone to ask questions just like that.
I do like your explanation though!
~Kate~
Yeah, just in general I don't like saying I'm a "woman trapped in a mans body" or "I believe im a woman" or "I feel like a girl inside" or whatever. I say "I
am a woman, I just have a birth defect."
Hi Gracie I believe you have pretty well summed it up for me.
QuoteI say "I am a woman, I just have a birth defect."
I have sat a few times thinking about what would happen if I were forced to go back, that thought alone left me shivering in fear. I just don't believe it would be possible after already having lived full time as me, a woman for 8 years. I am happy with who I am, I might be just a small woman but I have left many foot prints behind me.
Cindy
Quote from: Gracie FAISE on May 18, 2008, 08:34:28 PM
I say "I am a woman, I just have a birth defect."
I still have trouble saying that. My body has been SO good to me, I just can't bring myself to call it a "defect." It's beautiful, even if it is... was... male. Sorta, lol.
~Kate~
Mreow.
My insurance doesn't cover pre-existing mental conditions, but they do cover plastic surgery.
So, it'd be cheaper to alter the body than get someone to work on my brain, wouldn't it? 8)
Just kidding:-p
Hi Kate, I feel the same way about my body, at 62 and no wrinkles full breasts like a teen-ager, even down there thing looks normal the estrogen has done some wonderful work on this old frame.
Cindy
Quote from: cindybc on May 19, 2008, 12:13:26 AM
Hi Kate, I feel the same way about my body, at 62 and no wrinkles full breasts like a teen-ager and a realy nice bushy area down there, every thing looks normal the estrogen has done some wonderful work on this old frame.
Cindy
comments deleted (by mods).
I stand by my original post.
Miss Cindy needs a reality check and every sane person on these forums agrees with me.
Gracie,
We can only change ourselves so much.
The physical world is not answerable to our will.
That said, we need to be able to accept our individual needs and respect those.
That doesn't mean we should let ourselves be run around by every whim, quite the contrary, but we do have needs that are not always understood by ourselves and others.
AND they are still needs.
Very real needs that need to be met.
Telling the difference between one of those and your average pull or want is just a matter of time and practice with experience.
But if we sit deeply enough we usually get an answer that is clear and concise.
It was a wonderful question.
Thank you for asking it.
-Sara
People say, "Well, you can be a tomboy just fine. You don't have to be a man to be yourself."
But they don't get it. I have a body identity, too. My breasts are a serious problem...
If someone said it would be "easier" to change my mind rather than my body, I'd tell them that it isn't. Testosterone is going to do most of the work with my body, simply by taking it. Not to mention that changing my mind would be very difficult, because I have the legitimate symptoms of a legitimate disorder. Being more feminine would not make my body dysphoria go away, nor would it change the core identity of who I feel I am. Gender is a package deal; it acknowledges body identity, mental identity, social identity... a lot if things. It's hard to change all of those things to match your birth sex if they don't already. This isn't something I can change my mind about, as it is considered a true illness by the medical community. In other words, it can't really be "undone." Anyone who thinks we all haven't tried that at some point is pretty shallow minded. I'm sure a lot of transgendered people wanted to just be normal, cisfolk.
People ask me how I know I'm a guy. So I ask them how they know what they are. They just know and it just happens to match with their body. They don't think about it much because it causes them no trouble. Most cisfolk I know tend to mash gender and sex into one concept, so they can't even begin to understand.
Quote from: Gracie FAISE on May 18, 2008, 08:34:28 PM
Quote from: Kate on May 16, 2008, 10:22:29 AM
Quote from: Gracie FAISE on May 15, 2008, 10:55:15 PM
Recently someone online asked me this:
Quote
How do you know you have a females mind? I mean...what's the diff.?
Which is why I avoid saying "I'm a woman inside" to anyone, as to me that's just more justification and apologizing for what we've done, AND it opens the door for someone to ask questions just like that.
I do like your explanation though!
~Kate~
Yeah, just in general I don't like saying I'm a "woman trapped in a mans body" or "I believe im a woman" or "I feel like a girl inside" or whatever. I say "I am a woman, I just have a birth defect."
Lol. I actually kinda think I was a girl trapped under a rusted shell of things that kinda confused and threw me off... But apparently it got WD40ed and Its blatantly obvious now.... Even if I am still shocked about it. Heh