From: http://www.hypedup.co.uk/jokes/gender.html
Quotethe top ten things men would do if they woke up and had a vagina for a day
10. immediately go shopping for cucumbers.
9. squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.
8. see if they could finally do the splits.
7. see if its truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet.
6. cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.
5. get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes.
4. have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first.
3. go to the gynaecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video.
2. sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts too.
and, the NUMBER ONE thing men would do if they woke up with a vagina...
1. finally find that damned g-spot!
the top ten things women would do if they woke up and had a penis for a day
10. get a better paid job.
9. get a ->-bleeped-<-.
8. find out what is so fascinating about beating the meat.
7. pee standing up while talking to other men at a urinal.
6. determine WHY you cant hit the bowl consistently.
5. find out what its like to be on the other end of a surging orgasm.
4. touch/shift yourself in public without thought to how improper it may seem.
3. jump up and down naked with an erection to see if it feels as funny as it looks.
2. understand the scientific reason for the light refraction which occurs between a mans eyes and the ruler situated next to his member which causes two inches to be added to the final measurement.
and, the NUMBER ONE thing women would do if they woke up with a penis...
1. repeat number 9!
This is just too funny. And why do I get the feeling that real research went into these lists!! :laugh: :laugh:
Nichole
I have to admit i'd be doing a fair few of these :embarrassed:
"7. pee standing up while talking to other men at a urinal."
Probably not a good idea to talk to other guys while peeing.
Depending on the situation guy often talk in the john.
There is a book of short stories called 'dick for a day' in which women writers speculate, to often hysterical ends, about just this.
The best reason to have a DfaD I could not even print here, I heard a woman say it once and 20 years later it still cracks me up. PM me and I'll tell ya what she said.
Quote from: TreeFlower on June 24, 2008, 08:04:21 AM
Probably not a good idea to talk to other guys while peeing.
The first rule of Pee Club is that you
do not talk during Pee Club.
Quote from: nathan on June 24, 2008, 09:32:13 PM
Quote from: TreeFlower on June 24, 2008, 08:04:21 AM
Probably not a good idea to talk to other guys while peeing.
The first rule of Pee Club is that you do not talk during Pee Club.
The best thing of course for guys is "The World is your urinal" so you can always find somewhere to pee, where you dont have to talk to anyone.
Buffy
Quote from: Buffy on June 24, 2008, 09:53:00 PM
The best thing of course for guys is "The World is your urinal" so you can always find somewhere to pee, where you dont have to talk to anyone.
Oh look, your misandry is showing. ::)
Quote from: nathan on June 24, 2008, 10:09:41 PM
Oh look, your misandry is showing. ::)
An occasional misandrous statement is a bad thing? :laugh:
I thought guys just
loved us to say things like that so they could whine about how tough we make it on them! And how hard it is to deal with women. >:D
Quote from: nathan on June 24, 2008, 10:09:41 PM
Quote from: Buffy on June 24, 2008, 09:53:00 PM
The best thing of course for guys is "The World is your urinal" so you can always find somewhere to pee, where you dont have to talk to anyone.
Oh look, your misandry is showing. ::)
You have me all wrong Nathan, I love men!...I would be up to my neck in Spiders and trash otherwise
::)
I love men!...I would be up to my neck in Spiders and trash otherwise
NO man in my whole apartment building takes out the trash, they probably don't kill spiders either as i find numerous ones all the way up here on the third floor. it's like my boss said, a woman's work is never done, but i'll add to it, her work is never done because she's doing his too!!!
Warrior Princess Mickie
To great lol I'd probably only do number 10 on the waking up with a penis thing I'm not to curious about the other things lol >__>
Quote from: TreeFlower on June 24, 2008, 08:04:21 AM
"7. pee standing up while talking to other men at a urinal."
Probably not a good idea to talk to other guys while peeing.
Dennis found this informational video about mens rooms some time back (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,6292.0.html)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzO1mCAVyMw
Quote6. cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.
I've been able to do that since I was a kid. My testes aren't very sensitive at all.
I suspect I've never been "completely" male, which would explain why I've never felt like one. Perhaps it's a case of undetected intersex condition.
It's kind of fun though. I'll be like all "Watch this!" and cross my legs real fast. That way, I can see the visible twinch in my friend's face.
Quote from: VeryGnawty on June 27, 2008, 01:05:05 AM
Quote6. cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.
I've been able to do that since I was a kid.
Same here.