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General Discussions => General discussions => Topic started by: Nero on June 25, 2008, 03:12:09 PM

Title: Age differences in relationships?
Post by: Nero on June 25, 2008, 03:12:09 PM
Does age matter in relationships?

Could you be with someone younger or older than you?

For me personally, I've dated younger and I've dated older. I've been with people old enough to be my father and people young enough I should have been arrested.

I guess I don't really see age. If someone looks good, they look good to me no matter the age. And if I want them, I want them no matter the age.

But are there problems with dating someone younger or older than you? Why or why not?
Could it work long term?

And how many years difference is a lot? Seven years too much? Ten? Twenty?
Title: Re: Age differences in relationships?
Post by: NicholeW. on June 25, 2008, 03:48:45 PM
Nope, except for legal and just basic maturity differences and likes and dislikes I see no particular downside to age-spreads in relationships. It's a personal comfort and attraction-thang, IMO.

Nikki
Title: Re: Age differences in relationships?
Post by: Sarah Louise on June 25, 2008, 04:14:13 PM
One of my wife's sisters is twenty years younger than her husband and it is working out fine (of course, she is now 61 and he is 81 so who knows for how much longer).

Differences in age are of little importance as long as both are of consenting age (at the beginning of their relationship). 

Sarah L.
Title: Re: Age differences in relationships?
Post by: Mnemosyne on June 25, 2008, 04:15:18 PM
One of my partners is a bit older than I am. Another is almost the same, exact age as I am (one month difference). The last one is a bit younger than I am. it works. I did try dating someone who was 18 before and that did not work out at all.

I think it has to do with those involved and how much work they are willing to put into the relationship. Communication is a must and if you have someone who does not communicate effectively (or not at all) then they need to adapt or it will fail. The problem with the one that was 18 was that she was just too immature for a meaningful relationship.
Title: Re: Age differences in relationships?
Post by: April221 on June 25, 2008, 04:35:45 PM
It's about people, not numbers. I've lived with a man who is 18 years older than I am for about 33 years. For many of those years we didn't have a lot of contact due to the difference in job schedules and travel as part of his job, but we enjoyed what time we were able to share and we both matured  together. We have different friends and different interests, but there has always been enough in common to sustain the friendship.

Title: Re: Age differences in relationships?
Post by: tinkerbell on June 25, 2008, 09:00:41 PM
How much younger or how much older?  ;)  2 - 4 years is alright in my opinion  ;D, but then again mom is eleven years younger than dad, so there...

tink :icon_chick:
Title: Re: Age differences in relationships?
Post by: sd on June 25, 2008, 09:27:38 PM
The younger you are, the more difference the age difference will make.
In high school, 3 years was a big difference, by age 60 or 70 even 15, 20 or even 30 years difference may not make much difference.

Around 25 most people reach a stable level of maturity but until then their lives are usually in flux. This is reflected in insurance rates.

The average age difference I believe is around 10 years on the more successful marriages.



(Yes, I am full of useless facts.)
Title: Re: Age differences in relationships?
Post by: TamTam on June 25, 2008, 09:50:14 PM
My girlfriend is 10 years older than me, but to be honest, I don't think about the years at all.  It's a random passing fact that makes no difference. :) Sometimes it makes for cute realizations, though.  Liiike.. ;D In a couple of years, we'll both be in our twenties.  And we won't be in the same age 'group' again until we're both in our thirties.  That's weeeiiird. :o But in a cool way. ;D

I think age is often used as an automatic judgement tool, but I very strongly believe that in the end, maturity is dependent on the person, not the age, and age difference only matters as much as the people in the relationship.

For me personally, I've felt that when someone is old enough to be my parent, it'd be a little weird for me to be with them.  But I know other people manage it just fine. :)