Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Topic started by: Terra on June 25, 2008, 07:02:37 PM

Title: Marriage
Post by: Terra on June 25, 2008, 07:02:37 PM
I was talking to my GF the other day and the topic of marriage came up. Now as I understand it, as long as I don't have my SRS surgery I can marry a woman and can not marry a man legally. However after the surgery I can not legally marry a woman and can marry a man.

But what happens if I marry a woman and then have my surgery? Am I still considered married?
Title: Re: Marriage
Post by: tekla on June 25, 2008, 07:15:57 PM
Move to California.  Party 'a' marries party 'b' - just as simple as that.

Juking all the religion junk, marriage is a contract, its a contract between two people.  Simple as that.
Title: Re: Marriage
Post by: ANewMe on June 25, 2008, 07:25:53 PM
From what I understand it depends on the state. That said I've heard that most states will recognize a marriage that was entered into legally in the first place, regardless of the situation now. They usually take the position that it takes a divorce or death to end a legal marriage.

Of course you could move to California  :)  ... at least until the vote... then who knows  ???


ttfn: Holly
Title: Re: Marriage
Post by: tekla on June 25, 2008, 07:34:09 PM
They are going to lose that vote in a way that will set their cause back not just a few years, but forever.
Title: Re: Marriage
Post by: Elwood on June 25, 2008, 07:39:29 PM
->-bleeped-<-. I never thought about that.

If I make it all the way to transition and I can't marry, I'll probably move out of the country. And no, I'm not one of the people who just 'says that,' because I adore Canada. :P
Title: Re: Marriage
Post by: tekla on June 25, 2008, 07:50:21 PM
Ellwood, in California you can now marry who ever you want, regardless of gender.  Don't you read the LA Times?
Title: Re: Marriage
Post by: Elwood on June 25, 2008, 07:54:39 PM
Quote from: tekla on June 25, 2008, 07:50:21 PM
Ellwood, in California you can now marry who ever you want, regardless of gender.  Don't you read the LA Times?
I do, but maybe you should read deeper.

Last I heard, it was "not illegal." This is still not the same thing as a 100% marriage, but rather, a "legal partnership condoned in the fashion one wishes to." You can call it a wedding, but last I heard, it wasn't that way. Now, I've been isolated from "the news" for a couple months, so any recent updates I have not been able to hear about. Last I heard, the step towards gay marriage was a small step towards making it legal, not the full on journey into making it socially and legally acceptable by the standards of the entire state of California. The courts simply said that disallowing gay marriage was unconstitutional. This doesn't mean it has become and official thing. So you see on the news lesbians getting married. Did you see their papers? No, you didn't. The fact of the matter is, a legal or civil partnership does not contain all of the legal benefits of an actual marriage contract.

Not that I even intend on getting married anyway, since I can't ->-bleeped-<- and I seem to have completely lost interest in love and romance.
Title: Re: Marriage
Post by: tekla on June 25, 2008, 08:02:43 PM
Jeff and John, who wedding I went to last night, was presided over by a SF judge, and is as valid, as any marriage between Jeff and Jennifer.  100%.  And even if they pass that stupid amendment, which they will not, its still a legal marriage, for better - but most likely, for worse.

And yes, it was the exact same contract I signed, it just says party A and party B, and not Bride and Groom. And if you remember your Constitution class, you will remember that that 'no ex post facto' law can be passed, so even if the amendment is passed, the weddings that took place are still valid.
Title: Re: Marriage
Post by: Elwood on June 25, 2008, 08:31:48 PM
So it's the same classification? It has all the same contacts that a wedding contract? Because personally, I don't care what it's "called," especially since I'm an atheist anyway and I'd prefer it not to be called a "wedding under God," not because I dislike God, but because I respect the wishes of many Christians... that a person shouldn't make a promise to a God they don't believe in.

And as for current weddings being valid, that applies to me if I get married BEFORE an anti gay marriage bill is passed. I probably won't be getting married for at least 10 years, and that's if I'm doing well. I actually expect to die alone (by choice or by force), but in the best possible scenario, I'd be getting married around 30.
Title: Re: Marriage
Post by: tekla on June 25, 2008, 08:57:06 PM
It is, in the eyes of the law, the exact same contract, with all the good and bad that goes with it.
Title: Re: Marriage
Post by: Shana A on June 26, 2008, 06:23:16 AM
Quote from: tekla on June 25, 2008, 08:57:06 PM
It is, in the eyes of the law, the exact same contract, with all the good and bad that goes with it.

However, the federal government still doesn't recognize it, at least not as far as the 1000 plus benefits that a het couple gets. DOMA needs to be repealed, or preferably, just ripped up into tiny shreds and used to start a fire in the woodstove  >:D

Z
Title: Re: Marriage
Post by: Elwood on June 26, 2008, 09:04:13 AM
Quote from: Zythyra on June 26, 2008, 06:23:16 AM
Quote from: tekla on June 25, 2008, 08:57:06 PM
It is, in the eyes of the law, the exact same contract, with all the good and bad that goes with it.

However, the federal government still doesn't recognize it, at least not as far as the 1000 plus benefits that a het couple gets. DOMA needs to be repealed, or preferably, just ripped up into tiny shreds and used to start a fire in the woodstove  >:D

Z
I think that was the flaw I was remembering.
Title: Re: Marriage
Post by: tekla on June 26, 2008, 09:46:36 AM
In California the mountains are high and the empire seems far away.  Other than tax issues, not much the feds can do out here, they can't even enforce their drug laws anymore.
Title: Re: Marriage
Post by: Terra on June 26, 2008, 11:23:59 AM
Quote from: ANewMe on June 25, 2008, 07:25:53 PM
From what I understand it depends on the state. That said I've heard that most states will recognize a marriage that was entered into legally in the first place, regardless of the situation now. They usually take the position that it takes a divorce or death to end a legal marriage.

So even with me living as a woman, since i'm still legally male I can marry another woman. Thus even after surgery since the marriage was prior to my SRS i would still be married. Right?

What sates wouldn't accept this do you think? Wyoming?
Title: Re: Marriage
Post by: Sheila on June 26, 2008, 11:27:23 AM
This has come up before. I think the question was, if I marry before SRS and then I get SRS can we still be legally married? I haven't heard of any government saying you have to divorce cause you had SRS. Of course there have been divorces but none have been initiated by a government. I know of several people who are still married, I for one am still married (39 yrs). Now, the other question was what if I should get SRS before marriage, that I don't know.
Title: Re: Marriage
Post by: Beyond on June 26, 2008, 07:52:22 PM
Quote from: Sheila on June 26, 2008, 11:27:23 AM
This has come up before. I think the question was, if I marry before SRS and then I get SRS can we still be legally married? I haven't heard of any government saying you have to divorce cause you had SRS.

That's true in the US.  In England to get your gender recognition certificate you DO have to divorce or convert to a civil union.


Anyone from the UK feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.
Title: Re: Marriage
Post by: mickie88 on June 26, 2008, 08:53:32 PM
convert to a civil union.


i like that one, i wish it was that simple in the states, couples that want to stay together would probably have less bullcrap to go through, and in the long run, most everybody would be happy. i know i would, bu that's just me.


Warrior Princess Mickie