I came out to my mom a few days ago, and amazingly, I got the "unconditional love" response. I guess it kinda had time to sink in... a few years ago, my parents discovered some clothing hidden in the bathroom. She says she really wants to help, but she herself is clueless what to do. So she asked my dad (thus coming out for me) and my dad simply says it's a phase. He says he used to think the same thing as a kid, until he "manned up". That's sorta a curious thing, did my dad himself go through a phase, or did he develop a sense of hopeless until he finally accepted it and made the best of it? There's a lot of gray area, considering the fact my grandpa was a "alcoholic that was never home". I'm still confused myself - I'm stuck between abondaning my current life or risking a new one; and I don't know exactly what I can do from here on.
hi lost. now what? put one foot in front of the other. don't blow that unconditional love thing off as a wisp, it's the most valuable asset you'll ever have. if you don't tell people what's happening they will make assumptions. the assumptions they make will usually be wrong in that they are based on personal prejudice and bias.
i think i might ask your dad to share with you what his "phase" was like. in that they found clothing not associated with you, your dad may really think it's just a curiosity thing and he may have gone through something akin to that himself. transsexualism is a lifelong phase. it will not go away, never ever under any circumstances. if you are ts you will be for all your life. so in exploring with him, and your mom too if they are both comfortable with it, what his phase was like you might be able to introduce some new ideas to them.
honestly, both of your parents sound like people who are ripe to be talked with, seriously and with intentions. just a thought.
I've just had a bad turn off events with my mom. Turns out she thinks transitioning is "unnatural" and now she keeps trying to encourage my manhood so to say. My dad... I'm not speaking to him about this. A while back when he found the clothing he called me a "disgrace to our family name" and that I'm lucky that it was him and not someone else. Looks like they're going to be set to "straighten" me out :-\
I'm stuck between abondaning my current life or risking a new one
Everyone is dear. But those who chose number two tend to be a lot happier in the long run.
lost, you are a disgrace to no one. what's disgraceful is willful ignorance and bigoted judgement. sounds as if you might be more the adult here, at least you're making an effort to face reality.
if your parents choose not to be a part of the solution then they can at least not be a part of the problem. if i had a chance to, i'd send them some very good literature that tells some truth about what ts is like. if one is ts there is no cure...in fact ts is nothing to cure. the best treatment we've found to date is transition and if possible grs. encouraging your "manhood" is not only fruitless but is counterproductive, it's harmful to you and i hope you won't fall into the trap. think about it.....how silly is encouraging you to develop attributes you don't possess?
i would remind your mom about what she said about unconditional love, ask her what she thinks that means. and for your dad, i'd still like to hear about his "phase", what is was like, what he did about it..i'd like to know if he feels he is a disgrace to his wife and children for having gone through it. i think about the only reasonable concession you can make to them is to agree not to talk about it with them if it bothers them so, but you keep exploring yourself and going down your own path, with or without their understanding.
i wish you only the best, you are the future...bright and shining. God bless with...