This is A Sci-Fi/Fantasy adventure
Prologue
In the Kingdom of the Trigen Empire, were born twin brothers. They both looked exactly alike, except for the mole on one of the boys' face; Armas . While Vegatis with no mole was born only 2 seconds later.
Over the years, the two boys show amazing abilities. While they both showed a talent in speed, however, they were different in how they used it. Armas used his to escape from traps and to rescue those who were wrongfully prisoned. Vegatis, on the other hand, used his speed as a tactical advantage to catch his enemies off guard, most of the time killing them.
"King Laharol, Sir," said the boys' trainer, " Armas has shown skill in becoming a king like yourself. Sir. While..." "While what, Trainer Gorg?" said King Laharol not willing to wait.
"While Vegatis is showing signs of becoming a great military leader like your father, Sir," said Trainer Gorg. With that, King Laharol walked away, ashamed at one of his boys.
"Armas? Vegatis?" shouted their mother, Queen Florel. The tall-frail woman in her mid 30's, stood outside her castle's main gate to bring in the two twin brothers. The brothers, both at 8 years of age, were usually found playing in the garden just outside the main gate. Today however, they were out playing swords with their father, King Laharol Mythador. "Now where could those boys have run off to?" asked Queen Florel to herself, "Armas? Vegatis?"
"Hi. Honey," said King Laharol, the tall, medium-muscled man that always wore some type of armor. Today however, he wore a very light, chain shirt and leggings and his favorite pair of strong leather boots. "Ooh!" said the startled Queen Florel hearing her husband's voice after she had turned to go back inside. "Sorry. Honey," giggled King Laharol with their sons, Armas and Vegatis.
Unannounced to Armas and Vegatis, today is the day they find out who is going to succeed Laharol in the event of his death or retirement. That is why they were playing swords with Laharol. The better one would be the one to become King of The Trigen Empire. "Sons I have an important announcement to make. So go into the Throne Room and sit at the front of my Throne," said the father to his sons and before he gives Queen Florel a note, "Florel, honey, read this only when and if one of the sons tries or succeeds in assassinating the other or me." "Ok, Laharol," responds Queen Florel knowing that she'll probably be reading it sometime in the future.
Once the father walked into the Throne Room, Armas activated the Royal Announcement Screen so everyone could hear his father's announcment. Noticing what Armas did, King Laharol decided it was a smart move by letting the people of Trigenous Prime in on the news. "To my good people. Today, I summit to you the news of my choosing of a new King in the event of my death or retirement. Before you hear this announcement, I want you to spread the news all throughout our Kingdom. The new king shall be..." said the King while taking a dramatic pause just for excitement, "Armas! It shall be Armas."
With that, the people cheered knowing that the constant wars was at lest gone for another generation Knowing that King Laharol wouldn't choose another ruler like his father was. Just a generation ago, when King Laharol was just Prince Laharol, his father determined that the Trigen Empire needed to conquer other planets in need to survive and the long forgotten honor code. This meant that lots of Trigen warriors would die for the sake of honor. But honor wasn't enough for the parents of the warriors who would never return and Prince Laharol wasn't going to take this. One night, while his father slept, Prince Laharol assassinated his father and assumed the leadership as King Laharol Mythador. Once king, Laharol put the stop to the constant wars. Setting on a more diplomatic approach.
"Brother. Brother did hear you that," said Armas shaking Vegatis with excitement, "I'm going to be King just like Father. Yay! Yay!" Vegatis just shoke Armas off of him and walked away not to be seen or heard from again for ten years.
I like it. I think it has real potential. :)
But one observation is that it could maybe do with being spaced differently in order to improve the readability overall. Some of the dialogue gets a little confusing and I had to re-read it in order to see who says what, and when.
If you would like, I can show you what I mean. :)
My knowledge in HTML (Hyper Text Markup Language) is primitive for now. I'm going to college this fall for a degree in computer science and English. I have reedited it and hopefully it looks better. I have indented and added a space to show where the paragraphs begin and end.
Yeah, it does look better. But the issue isn't with html. Some of the dialogue needs moving around a little, in my opinion. In places you have dialogue between two different characters that take place in the same paragraph. It makes it a bit confusing to read.