Hi.
I'm so confused about my sexual orientation at the moment too... I like other girls but I don't like their breasts and I prefer the idea of opposite-sex relationships.......but... I find men hard to deal with either as friends or in relationships...
Do you think it's possible for a genuine M2F transsexual to like their penis?
Jasmine,
I think you should like what you like and do what you feel best. I understand that some people feel they are arbiters of the "truth about transsexuality." But, the truth is people just need to learn to find their own way into and through whatever their struggles are. No one can validate how and what you feel but yourself.
We can all give you opinions. But none of them would necessarily speak to you.
Nichole
Personally i cant stand to even touch mine but its a very personal and deep state of mind when it comes to deciphering sexuality.
thats why therapists are so darn handy and understand sometimes better than you do yourself. Well the good ones anyway...my old doctor told me im obviously homosexual and just like womens clothing but hey.
Anyhooow sexuality hasnt really anything significant to do with GID from what i understand and you can certainly like opposite, same or even both or just body parts if you wish. Like i said a complex subject im sure alot of people in here with testament to.
"Fear and loathing" of one's penis used to be a litmus test for SRS. Not the case anymore from what I hear. But if you don't hate it, then I think you might want to take a lot more time making your decision. Perhaps non-op could be the better course, especially if all of your discomfort is assuaged by RLT. Although MTF SRS is touted as being much better than that available for FTM, it is still far from perfect. There is a lot to be said for keeping original equipment in this case. At the very least, I propose that you find some post ops that did not hate theirs and ask how they feel about SRS, and compare their motivations for SRS to your own. It won't necessarily be a predictor of your own experience, but it should be food for thought.
Quote from: Nichole on July 21, 2008, 06:47:35 AM
No one can validate how and what you feel but yourself.
So true.
For my personally the only thing I can say is: Where's the knife? I don't even like looking down there unless I am wearing panties and tucked or a gaff. I only use the restroom sitting so I don't have to touch it. Showering is the worst, but I close my eyes and try not to think about it.
But then that is me.
Janet
A long time ago, someone here said:
Quote from: Leigh on August 10, 2005, 04:51:21 PM
My definition of TS. If you have one of those *things*, like *it*, never want to get rid of *it* and enjoy using *it* you dam sure are not TS of any kind.
Leigh
It pretty much summarizes how I feel about this.
tink :icon_chick:
Yes. :)
Lia
__________________________________________
Let me extend my response. The penis is one possible genital configuration, and not inherently bad or good in itself. The vagina and every other genital configuration is homologous in terms of tissue.
Though I had no problem with what my genitals were like before, they did not look like what I wanted them to look like and not preferable to a vagina.
Lia
Well, personally, I hate that ugly thing between my legs. The only use it has is expelling liquid out of the bladder and that's it. If I didn't need it for material for SRS in the (unfortunately distant) future I would hack it off myself. (okay, maybe not do it myself)
Sure, Jasmine. Lots of women want penises. A lot of people call it penis-envy, but that's sort of a mean way of saying it. Liking your penis doesn't make you less of a woman.
I've never hated mine, but it embarasses the heck out of me in sexual situations... which is why they were few and far between. But no, I've never, ever felt an urge to "cut it off" or anything. My problem is an overall one of being in the wrong *context*. The genitals are part of the problem, but they don't define it for me. Their *function* is more of a problem for me (can't have sex as a female, etc.) than their appearance.
Don't get me wrong, I absolutely *must* have SRS. Without it, everything I've done so far becomes pointless to me. It's the last tumbler in the lock of my freedom. But I'm driven by a need to be female, rather than a revulsion of being male.
~Kate~
And I am horribly envious. I so wish FtMs and MtFs could trade parts. At least some parts. Like an FtM with similar blood type could possibly give ovaries. I say this assuming that the risk of rejection was eliminated by use of stem cell technology.
I'm sure that it is very possible. Due to the endless diversity of gender identity and self expression, it may be more common than people freely admit to. Many people are TS, transition, and do not wish to have SRS. That, as well as what a person considers transition to actually be, is purely a personal decision. Some people are comfortable just by coming out, and consider that alone to be transition.
There is no reason that you can't be TS and like any part of your body. Gender dysphoria and body dysphoria are not exactly the same. How you feel about yourself and what makes you happy is far more important than if you are TS or at another point on the TG spectrum. It's about your personal comfort, not about two letters. You are the only person who truly knows how you feel and experience the world. Go with your feelings, not someone else's.
Twenty years ago, I bought something called a burdizo. It's used to castrate cattle. The reason that I didn't use it, was that the man that I live with found it and took it away from me before I DID use it. I probably would have bled to death. THAT would have been alright too! It was large enough for me to have removed everything, which is what I was planning to do. Not everyone is that extreme. That doesn't mean that I'm any different than anyone else either. It just means that my mechanisms for dealing with things weren't always effective. Those were MY feelings. Still are, and for me, SRS is clearly a well reasoned and rational decision.
Some people realize SRS to be a very profound step to take, and although I can understand the thinking, I strongly disagree with it. I view SRS as an absolute necessity to correct a profound deformity. There are many stages of self exploration that are examined prior to SRS. It's all part of personal growth.
Quote from: Jasmine on July 21, 2008, 06:33:55 AM
Do you think it's possible for a genuine M2F transsexual to like their penis?
I don't know? I guess it depends on the definition of genuine M2F transsexual.
But for me it will have to go. It is one of those things that kind of make me hate myself.
Anna
Just wanna point out that it's possible to NOT hate your penis or feel it's some sort of "deformity"... and yet still find SRS absolutely necessary.
~Kate~
I also think that the term "like" is a bit open to interpretation. I met a M2F this weekend who has been transitioning for over 17 years. She totally passes, and has chosen not to have SRS. Why? First, she's heard so many stories about losing sensation, and secondly, she finds enough... ahem... company that enjoys her penis. The risk does not outweigh the gain for her. Sounds like a "like" to me.
Now, myself, I have had many long-term relationships with women, and very much enjoyed sex with each and every one of them. I was more than able to enjoy the parts I was born with. Having said that, I also always considered my penis to be the wrong tool for the trade, and only used it because it's what I had, and it was expected of me. I did not get enough pleasure from its use alone to find fulfillment - I had to really focus on visualizing myself as a woman to wrap up the deed. I always wished I would wake up and have the proper parts for my gender, but obviously that doesn't just happen.
Now that I am transitioning, the HRT has made my genitals all but useless. Even if they weren't, I have even less desire to use them in the manner they were intended. I have scheduled my SRS for next year, and am very much looking forward to the date. So... although I don't hate my penis, like so many girls do, I wouldn't say I ever "liked" it either. Tolerated. Grudgingly accepted. Utilized. And eventually will replace. I guess I'm in the boat with Kate on this one.
don't love it, don't like it, i tolerate it.
Warrior Princess Mickie
For me personally I don't like it it's just there and I deal with it. Someday it will come off and I have had dreams that I woke up one morning and it was gone along with the other parts. I sit to pee as it's the only way I like. Most times I try to ignore it's presence.
Linda Ann
Love being female :angel:
Quote from: Elwood on July 21, 2008, 09:48:29 PM
And I am horribly envious. I so wish FtMs and MtFs could trade parts. At least some parts. Like an FtM with similar blood type could possibly give ovaries. I say this assuming that the risk of rejection was eliminated by use of stem cell technology.
Actually Danny my boy, it's much closer than anyone things. Anti-rejection drugs are pretty much a thing of the past, or well on the way, and it only involves something as simple as a bone marrow transplant a month before hand. It in essence hybridizes one's immune system to accept tissue from BOTH or either body as natural to the system. One day, when there is enough money and interest, it will be routine to find people switching genitals for exactly the reason you mentioned.
I didn't want to say anything at first, but your post kinda hit a spot for me. My late husband would have killed for a penis and he's not the only Guy I know who was stuck with a body that didn't quite work for him. FTM people only wish they had the choice that MTF folk talk about.
Me, I kind of agree with Kate on the subject, and frankly, she's a very pretty, very smart kitty!
Sam
The answer is no it is not possible.
QuoteGender identity disorder (GID) is the formal diagnosis used by psychologists and physicians to describe persons who experience significant gender dysphoria (discontent with the biological sex they were born with).
So, If you like it, you are not A MTF TS! Sorry to anyone whose bubbles I have burst, but it had to be said.
QuoteThe current edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders has five criteria that must be met before a diagnosis of gender identity disorder (302.85) can be given:
- There must be evidence of a strong and persistent cross-gender identification.
- This cross-gender identification must not merely be a desire for any perceived cultural advantages of being the other sex.
- There must also be evidence of persistent discomfort about one's assigned sex or a sense of inappropriateness in the gender role of that sex.
- The individual must not have a concurrent physical intersex condition (e.g., androgen insensitivity syndrome or congenital adrenal hyperplasia).
- There must be evidence of clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.
Just because a book says it's true in no way means it is true.
If you believe that I have a bridge to sell you.
Wishing that it wasn't so, won't make it untrue. Maybe this will help you out some...
Transsexual: a person who is mentally one gender, but has the body of the other. They desire to live and be accepted as a member of the mental gender, this is generally accompanied by the strong desire to make their body as congruent as possible with the preferred sex through surgery and hormone treatments.
Post-Ops: Transsexuals who have had surgical procedures to make their body as congruent as possible with their preferred sex. For MTF transsexuals this is generally considered to be after Genital surgery (GRS, orchiectomy, and/or penectomy), for FTM transsexuals it is generally considered to be after top surgery.
Pre-ops: Transsexuals who desire to to make their body as congruent as possible with their preferred sex, but have not yet had the surgical procedures for whatever reason.
Crossdresser: a person wears the clothing of the opposite gender, and has no desire to permanently change their sex. There is generally no sexual motivation for the cross-dressing.
Transvestite: a person who wears the clothing of the opposite gender, and has no desire to permanently change their sex. There is generally a strong sexual motivation for the cross-dressing.