Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Non-binary talk => Topic started by: Marin on August 15, 2008, 07:19:12 PM

Title: Why is birth gender so important? Doesn't personality matter more?
Post by: Marin on August 15, 2008, 07:19:12 PM
I would like to tell you guys a story. I was recently at camp, a computer camp. I made a friend there that was really nice, had all of the same interests that I had, and was a very good person. We didn't question or inspect each other much, we just talked and played games. Heh, those nights of devious attacks in Warcraft 3 and shooting each other from raptors in Unreal Tournament 3 were fun. The first week went by without question, I had thought my friend to be a girl, but I never really looked too close, it didn't matter much to me.

At the beginning of the second week we traded stories of our weekends and then traded gaming magazines before we started up a Warcraft 3 match. At the end of the night we had both had a lot of fun and were heading back to our rooms when my friend introduced me to their roommate. Their roommate was a boy. That got me thinking about gender a bit. The next day I went straight out and asked 'Are you a boy or a girl?' My friend said a boy, and we continued on as normal. Now, when talking to my parents I had referred to my friend as she since I didn't look too closely. So I had to tell them that my friend was really a boy. My parents freaked out at the fact that I hadn't noticed the gender that my friend was and teased me about it. To them gender was so important. Neither my friend or I cared all that much.

What is the purpose of gender anyways?
Title: Re: Why is birth gender so important? Doesn't personality matter more?
Post by: Rhye on August 15, 2008, 07:33:24 PM


Birth gender is important because to a lot of people, they think it's the only gender a person has. Contrary to popular believe, gender does play a huge role in our lives. If it didn't, why would trans people bother correcting their bodies? My father thinks that anyone with gender issues is a nut, or mental.. not a person suffering from a genuine defect. And I feel that's wrong, but I can totally understand why it would throw a person off.
Title: Re: Why is birth gender so important? Doesn't personality matter more?
Post by: Caroline on August 15, 2008, 08:38:30 PM
Quote from: Lindsey on August 15, 2008, 07:33:24 PM
Birth gender is important because to a lot of people, they think it's the only gender a person has. Contrary to popular believe, gender does play a huge role in our lives. If it didn't, why would trans people bother correcting their bodies?

I can't help but think this answer is conflating sex and gender.  Personally, I don't think needing to correct ones sex has much to do with the concept of gender in the context of the original post.  I think the biggest reason why people care so much about the genders of others is due to socially constructed gender roles (the need to pigeon-hole people into one role or the other).  The only other alternative I can see is blaming it all on sexual desire, which although a factor doesn't account for a lot of situations.
Title: Re: Why is birth gender so important? Doesn't personality matter more?
Post by: tekla on August 15, 2008, 09:48:43 PM
Everyone has gender, not everyone has personality.  Hence, gender matters more.
Title: Re: Why is birth gender so important? Doesn't personality matter more?
Post by: VeryGnawty on August 15, 2008, 10:19:16 PM
Quote from: tekla on August 15, 2008, 09:48:43 PM
Everyone has gender, not everyone has personality.  Hence, gender matters more.

LOL

This is all too true.  If everyone had real personality, people probably wouldn't even pay attention to gender.
Title: Re: Why is birth gender so important? Doesn't personality matter more?
Post by: Pica Pica on August 16, 2008, 02:16:57 AM
personality is more important, but it takes time  to found one out. gender is there and immediate.
Title: Re: Why is birth gender so important? Doesn't personality matter more?
Post by: VeryGnawty on August 16, 2008, 07:06:40 AM
Quote from: Pica Pica on August 16, 2008, 02:16:57 AM
personality is more important, but it takes time  to found one out. gender is there and immediate.

Gender is like the icing on the cake.  Personality is like the diahrrea you get an hour later.

This is why I don't prejudge people.  It's because, most of the time, I am wrong.
Title: Re: Why is birth gender so important? Doesn't personality matter more?
Post by: Veetje on August 16, 2008, 03:49:32 PM


Why is an alternative genderidentity in the eyes of most a birth defect?

I get so angry when hearing that!
Title: Re: Why is birth gender so important? Doesn't personality matter more?
Post by: VeryGnawty on August 16, 2008, 04:29:07 PM
Quote from: Veetje on August 16, 2008, 03:49:32 PM
Why is an alternative genderidentity in the eyes of most a birth defect?

Because most people are so shallow that they'll never have an original thought beyond what their church/school/government/parents tell them.
Title: Re: Why is birth gender so important? Doesn't personality matter more?
Post by: BlackRabbit on August 16, 2008, 06:26:50 PM
I never had that happen before to me personally, but I just read most of this manga called Lovely Complex it has a supportive character in it that I thought was a girl, I mean they really look like a girl, I didn't care for them so much, I actually didn't like them that much cause they were to cliched. But afterwards I (and the main characters) found out that they were a boy. For some reason I felt better when I heard that, it was strange, I can't imagine them looking masculine or being "just a girl." Of course you took it really well. Maybe I could have too in that situation. It would be kinda cool. :) .....I don't know what my point was...again.  :-\
My brain waves make gender out to be a big gray puddle, rather then black and white.

Posted on: August 16, 2008, 06:25:40 PM
Quote from: VeryGnawty on August 16, 2008, 04:29:07 PM
Quote from: Veetje on August 16, 2008, 03:49:32 PM
Why is an alternative genderidentity in the eyes of most a birth defect?

Because most people are so shallow that they'll never have an original thought beyond what their church/school/government/parents tell them.
I used to sleep in church when I was forced to go. I agree with you.  :)