And she took it stellarly. I dun remember much detail wise that I feel like sharing because it involved a lot of pathetic 5-year-old-girl type sobbing I wasn't proud of >.> But overall she took it completely differently than I thought she would. Course she was disappointed, given that I was the 'daughter she always wanted' but hey you gotta do what you gotta do right? Her response in a nutshell was 'oh wow.' She basically said 'i dun care what gender you are, gay lesbian, bi whatever. Just clean up you're so scuzzy.' And that was that. She said she'd lay off trying to force me into being female, which was incredibly relieving.
Congrats!
I'm amazed at how positive most reactions have been. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, though, like one of these times I'm going to tell someone and it will get ugly.
Jay
CONGRATS!
I would NEVER tell my stepmom although I don't want or need her approval. She's a stuck up, 27 year old breast implanted biatch.
My mom however... :( I want to tell her so bad but I'm so scared, even though I know she would love me and help me through transition. I really don't think it would surprise her much. I just...eh..
I wish that's what happened to me. Congrats! :)
Congratulations!
Awesome it went well, specially in regards to her agreeing to let you be yourself.
Quote from: James-Allen on August 20, 2008, 08:20:59 PM
And she took it stellarly. I dun remember much detail wise that I feel like sharing because it involved a lot of pathetic 5-year-old-girl type sobbing I wasn't proud of >.>
I think that's how it went for most of us. Or at least it did for me :D So that's okay, especially considering I'm the last person who wants to admit they cried. EVER.
Congrats on a good coming out!
Quote from: trapthavok on August 20, 2008, 10:47:43 PMQuote from: James-Allen on August 20, 2008, 08:20:59 PMAnd she took it stellarly. I dun remember much detail wise that I feel like sharing because it involved a lot of pathetic 5-year-old-girl type sobbing I wasn't proud of >.>
I think that's how it went for most of us. Or at least it did for me :D So that's okay, especially considering I'm the last person who wants to admit they cried. EVER.
Congrats on a good coming out!
I actually didn't cry. I was too scared to. :icon_nervious:
I pretty much said, "Mom, I want to kill myself. I need to see a therapist." She asks why. "I'll never be a boy." She freaks, calls Kaiser, sets up an appointment...
yea... i cried a lot too. im glad it went so well!
James, that's great! I'm happy for you!
Quote from: trapthavok on August 20, 2008, 10:47:43 PM
So that's okay, especially considering I'm the last person who wants to admit they cried. EVER.
Uh, we must be neck and neck on this one. What is it about guys and crying...and transmen and crying?
Quote from: Arch on August 20, 2008, 11:05:14 PMJames, that's great! I'm happy for you!Quote from: trapthavok on August 20, 2008, 10:47:43 PMSo that's okay, especially considering I'm the last person who wants to admit they cried. EVER.
Uh, we must be neck and neck on this one. What is it about guys and crying...and transmen and crying?
I think it's weird. I have never met a transguy who admits to crying or rather, he always tries not to.
I cry if I feel like it. If I cry, I won't mope over it. Crying is productive. You cry, you're done. Instead of bottling it up. I've learned that bottling things up is a horrible thing to do. I've exploded a few times because of it. My dad saw me rage. It scared him. I'm not strong or anything. He was just worried that I lost my marbles.
And for a minute, I did.
I imagine that if and when I come out to my mom I will bawl my eyes out
When I somewhat came out out to my sister, I was BAWLING to the extent of not being able to breathe. I seriously felt so embarrassed and wanted to die. But, she did take me to get ice cream after to make me feel better. Ever since that day about a year ago, she has never mentioned it again. I wonder if she told my mom...which would explain why my mom drops hints kind of. May I'm just paranoid? What do yall think?
The worst was coming out to my boyfriend, since we had been dating a few months before I told him. That was AWFUL. I was crying too much to talk so I typed it out and made him read every thing on his computer, then made him come over. Even though he was just hugging me and saying how he understood and he loved me no matter what, I could NOT stop crying. I think part of the crying comes from relief ya know? It def. was for this "coming out." I think before he came over, I was crying out of fear, then the water works REALLY came on when I found out that he knew, and he was okay with it. Such relief and happiness.
Elwood: Wow, didn't beat around the bush on that one >< well at least you CAN be!
Arch: I DON'T cry, that is something that I do not do. Call me old fashioned but It is the worst of all imaginable vulnerabilities to me, and I will soak in it before I'll shed tears.
Quote from: James-Allen on August 21, 2008, 12:10:33 AM
Arch: I DON'T cry, that is something that I do not do. Call me old fashioned but It is the worst of all imaginable vulnerabilities to me, and I will soak in it before I'll shed tears.
Well, I hate hate hate to admit it, but I do cry when things become unbearable. It doesn't make me feel better, either. I've heard countless women and girls say that they feel better after a "good cry," but that just doesn't work for me. As for the men, they mostly don't admit to it, so I have no idea what it does for them--my partner says that it doesn't make him feel better, but that's not a very big sample size. And, yes, I get "old fashioned" about it, but I also get, er, new fashioned, too, but in a bad way.
Let me explain. I tend to see crying as the worst possible betrayal of myself. Even if I am alone when I let loose, I hate the vulnerability that it exposes, and I feel humiliated afterward. I beat myself up about it, call myself names. (Yeah, I'm an idiot. I already know that.) So to avoid the humiliation, I suppress until I am in physical pain and can't hold back anymore. When I let loose, all I really do is relieve pressure and remove the physical pain--and then feel miserable.
This (at least for me) hasn't been a healthy response at all. Only this week did I realize what a double bind I consistently put myself into: if I "give in" to my emotions and express them by bawling, then I am a weakling and a wuss; if I fight and suppress and DON'T cry, then I'm being a coward. So I think that I should be traditional and manly and stoical, but I also have the more enlightened view that I should be in touch with my feelings and express them. The two sides duke it out, and I'm caught in the fricking middle.
It's a terrible way to live, especially when there's a lot of pain floating around.
I never cried coming out either times...
I think I felt too vulnerable to have a break down with either of my parents. I kind of wish I had cried though.
I did when I told my friend what I was taking, and it started cause I was afraid of losing anyone else. That was the night she looked at me and said she could finally see it inside me, the whole thing.
I'm really happy your outing went well dude. That sounds best case ever to me.
Congratulations Im glad it went well for you!
Congrats James-Allen, excellent reaction from stepmom, especially the part about not forcing you into the wrong role any more.
And crying, yeah, I hate it too. Fortunately being on T makes the waterworks come way less easily. I don't think I have cried once since starting T. And it never made me feel better when I did it before, either. Made me feel worse.
Dennis
I didn't cry when I came out. I did have to continually convince my mom that I wasn't making it up. Since I changed my mind, however, she'll never support any transition for me.
I dont know about the crying thing...If I cry,even just a little, I get called a "->-bleeped-<-got". So I try not to. Plus , crying fails, unless, like Elewood said, you bottle it up, cause then its worse, and then youll turn passive- agressive, and then youll kill a bunch of people, So, cry, But only if you have to!
Aww James, that's amazing. I'm glad it went so well for you. Crying's okay, everybody cries sometimes. :)
Quote from: Elwood"Mom, I want to kill myself. I need to see a therapist." She asks why. "I'll never be a boy." She freaks, calls Kaiser, sets up an appointment...
I really wish I could just say that to my mom. I can't ever be that straightforward with my parents. Lots of dancing with them. I like that honesty, though.
I cry, often. But I never let anyone see me do it, except when I'm watching something like Beaches with other girls. That gets me laid.