Do any other guys here ever get this? It's really weird but sometimes I feel jealous of women, for some weird reason. I identify as male and really do not want to look female at all, and yet I do feel a bit jealous of pretty women at times. :icon_weirdface: I suppose it might be because they're allowed to be pretty and feminine and wear dresses and stuff? I don't really want to be pretty, though... Hmm. And I'm still "allowed" to do all that stuff since I am perceived as female, but at least it's something I'm not "supposed" to do because I'm a guy.
But then I don't believe anyone "should" act a certain way just because of their gender.
Before I realized my trans issues, I envied those that were just so feminine and could pull it off. I spent years trying (intermittent; easier to fall back to no makeup, tee shirts, jeans, and comfy sneakers!!) to do it and I felt fake, like a fraud, like I really wasn't a woman, and was very uncomfortable. Not only with the dressy shoes and clothes, but the whole look. On the surface maybe others thought I looked great; inside I felt awful.
If I'm jealous of anything, it's that easy casualness that cis-gendered people have with themselves. They're comfortable in their own skin. And that is what I am trying to achieve.
Jay
When I was a kid, I was jealous that I didn't fit in with the girls and I just wanted to be normal. I wanted to have girlfriends and be invited to parties and shopping at the mall.
But they just didn't like me.
Not sure what you mean by jealous. If I was ever jealous (as I never really get, I do wish I could look like that but I don't get angry about it, which the dictionary seems to list as a requirement for jealousy) it'd be for the reasons Jay listed, that they're comfortable with themselves, to wish that you had a girl brain to match the bod.
However, I hope you do realize you can identify as male and still present as a very flamboyant gay male haha. I myself often have girl-brained moments where I skip off to hug people I've missed or squeal when someone picks me up, or something like that. Just because you're a man doesn't mean you need to be the stereotypical silent, strong, and MANLY man.
I fall into the same boat as Jay. I was forced to dress up for church and special occasions and it was expected after I left home on certain occasions. It took time to see how far I could push things without drawing attention to myself until I just quit going to special occasions unless I was able to be who I was (and now I feel much like an outcast when I am around people who don't know whats going on and have known me most of my adult life).
I can't say I am jealous of women or have ever been really. I appreciate what woman go through and the efforts behind their dressing up and looking nice, but have never been jealous of it. I guess because I am happy when I dress in a suit since that is my preferred outfit and feel I put as much effort into looking my best as they do and feel good about who I am.
I was quite girly as a kid, but still felt very different from the girls. I don't remember being jealous of them then, though. It could just be that I wish I could be comfortable in a female body and feel like a girl, but that seems unlikely seeing as I stopped thinking like that when I was still a kid.
Actually, I just realised that I almost always feel that slight jealousy when I see
drawn women, especially fairies and the like. :eusa_eh: Maybe I'm just jealous because there don't seem to be any male fairies. :P Or because women are usually drawn to look beautiful whereas men are not. Hmm. Never mind. :D
Quote from: freespeechz on August 21, 2008, 01:49:31 PM
However, I hope you do realize you can identify as male and still present as a very flamboyant gay male haha. I myself often have girl-brained moments where I skip off to hug people I've missed or squeal when someone picks me up, or something like that. Just because you're a man doesn't mean you need to be the stereotypical silent, strong, and MANLY man.
Oh, I definitely know that... never thought I had to be macho, act stereotypically male or anything like that, and I never try doing that. I don't think there are any proper or improper ways to act, gender-wise, and don't think how masculine or feminine you are has much to do with your gender identity, anyway. I also really resent those norms and "rules" that are forced upon people because of their perceived gender.
Quote from: Devlin on August 21, 2008, 02:35:41 PM
I guess because I am happy when I dress in a suit since that is my preferred outfit and feel I put as much effort into looking my best as they do and feel good about who I am.
I like suits and ties and the usual male clothing, but I also like dresses and stuff. Haven't worn any since before puberty, though, since I would only be comfortable in one if my body were male. Being a guy who likes dresses has never been an issue for me, personally, but it's still seen as "freaky" and "sick" for men to wear 'em.
Oh, and Pyramid Collection has some really pretty dresses, if anyone here is interested.
When I was younger I used to be very jealous of other females (mostly because the neighbor boy ridiculed me a lot for having a small chest >.>) But I was always the tom-boy, played with snakes and got dirty lol. I never cared much for girly girls, so it was a very short lived jealousy.
jeolous of females? ... That personally never happened to me. I used to hate females when I was a little kid but hatred and jeolusly are too different things. I was always jeolous of guys because the stuff they got to do were "cool." But maybe that has something to do with it? Theres still stuff females get to do/be that you wish you could do/be as a male? Or certain qualities of females you stll want as a male? Or... who knows? THis is why emotions fail... EPically fail :)
I'm too busy checking um out to think of anything else. Ever since I started T 5 months ago or so, I've noticed all I do, is stare at boobs, all day. And I've always been an ass man, so that's a little mental change.
I do envy/get a lil jealous of men with good physiques, particularly nice chests. But that's for obvious reasons.
Quote from: GQjoey on August 21, 2008, 09:44:38 PM
I'm too busy checking um out to think of anything else. Ever since I started T 5 months ago or so, I've noticed all I do, is stare at boobs, all day. And I've always been an ass man, so that's a little mental change.
I do envy/get a lil jealous of men with good physiques, particularly nice chests. But that's for obvious reasons.
Checking them out? Lol rad. Man I don't even hardly associate with females any more let alone check them out. You remind me of me though, I am, as well a total ass man. Every time another man even walks by my eyes go SHOOM straight to the arse.
Quote from: James-Allen on August 21, 2008, 10:43:20 PM
Quote from: GQjoey on August 21, 2008, 09:44:38 PM
I'm too busy checking um out to think of anything else. Ever since I started T 5 months ago or so, I've noticed all I do, is stare at boobs, all day. And I've always been an ass man, so that's a little mental change.
I do envy/get a lil jealous of men with good physiques, particularly nice chests. But that's for obvious reasons.
Checking them out? Lol rad. Man I don't even hardly associate with females any more let alone check them out. You remind me of me though, I am, as well a total ass man. Every time another man even walks by my eyes go SHOOM straight to the arse.
Same here, although I check out girls' asses more. I love ghetto booties.
Quote from: Ciarquin on August 21, 2008, 03:04:09 PM
Oh, and Pyramid Collection has some really pretty dresses, if anyone here is interested.
Yes, they do have those!! Although some of the prettiest I cannot imagine wearing anywhere but maybe a costume party or a circle.
You guys have some of the absolutely most interesting threads!! Not so interesting I'd be willing to ever be a guy, but some really creative and interesting threads.
You all just rock.
Nichole
Thtat kind of jealousy happened to me a lot before I realized I was trans. Especially the "I wish I could look more normal like the pretty women just to fit in" jealousy. But then I was jealous of the guys too and confused my jealousy of them for attraction to them. I've pretty much figured out now that I'm more jealous of guys because I wish I was born physically appearing like them/wishing I had certain body types that some of them have.
I still get the jealousy of women thing but I'd say 90% less frequently than I used to. Now I just see them as "wow that's an attractive straight female...and she probably sees me as a dyke rather than a guy. Great." Sometimes I still get jealous of them because I wish I was normal, but normal is overrated.
I wondered about myself almost in the same way as you did, with something that happened to me today. Some dude told me he thought I was 13 and I didn't think anything of it til I realized I was wearing my binder and 13 is like...pre-pubescent boobs just coming in and maybe that's what he thought I looked like.... Well, my initial reaction was "WTF I HAVE BOOBS"...and then I wondered, why was I upset that he thought I didn't have them? A) I'm not attracted to males B) It's not like I think having boobs makes me attractive, cause I would feel a lot more attractive if I DIDN'T have them.... So I was confused about my reaction for a while, but overall I realize I think I'm upset because I don't want to look like a pre-pubescent 13 year old girl... I'm trying to look like a muscular guy :(
Me, I'm a bank man. My first thoughts about Average Income Levels.
Jealous? No.
However I would like to say that as a child I fought wearing a dress but since I transitioned and am viewed as male, I find that I can be comfortable doing drag for kicks, fund raisers and a Halloween costume. Generally speaking I have no urge to wear a dress, but when I am viewed as a man wearing a dress I am fine. I do continue to have and wear a kilt and I suppose some might say that is cross dressing as well.
Once you are comfortable in your skin it doesn't matter what you wear you will always be you.
->-bleeped-<-boy
Quote from: tekla on August 21, 2008, 11:01:19 PM
Me, I'm a bank man. My first thoughts about Average Income Levels.
lol wow that is the last thing I would care about
Nope I dont. I like girls that r pretty & feminine but I dont want that 4 me. I dont wanna be pretty & feminine :laugh:
In one of those they're are two kinds of people in the world deals, there are people who are working on spending money, and people who are working on making money, and the second group tends to have more going for it than the first. So, given the tenor of the above responses, I'm far more interested in what a person has going on in their life than what they look like, assuming they are not butt ugly.
Quote from: tekla on August 22, 2008, 09:12:22 AM
I'm far more interested in what a person has going on in their life than what they look like, assuming they are not butt ugly.
Definitely!!
Jay
Quote"wow that's an attractive straight female...and she probably sees me as a dyke rather than a guy. Great."
Oh god, same here allllllll the way. >:(
I don't think i've ever been jealous of women for one second... i just don't understand them. they're a foreign species.
Quote from: sneakersjay on August 21, 2008, 12:51:06 PM
Before I realized my trans issues, I envied those that were just so feminine and could pull it off. I spent years trying (intermittent; easier to fall back to no makeup, tee shirts, jeans, and comfy sneakers!!) to do it and I felt fake, like a fraud, like I really wasn't a woman, and was very uncomfortable. Not only with the dressy shoes and clothes, but the whole look. On the surface maybe others thought I looked great; inside I felt awful.
If I'm jealous of anything, it's that easy casualness that cis-gendered people have with themselves. They're comfortable in their own skin. And that is what I am trying to achieve.
Jay
Probably the time those girls spend being pretty and those cats cool, you spend dealing with your GID. Welcome to the club :)
I just thought of another possible reason. When I see beautiful men I'm usually jealous of them, so perhaps I've come to associate finding someone beautiful with envy?
Quote from: tekla on August 22, 2008, 09:12:22 AM
I'm far more interested in what a person has going on in their life than what they look like, assuming they are not butt ugly.
I certainly care more about what a person is like and what they're doing than how they look. That doesn't mean you can't appreciate beauty, though.
Quote from: James-Allen on August 21, 2008, 10:43:20 PM
Checking them out? Lol rad. Man I don't even hardly associate with females any more let alone check them out. You remind me of me though, I am, as well a total ass man. Every time another man even walks by my eyes go SHOOM straight to the arse.
I never notice what people's arses look like. Never seen the appeal of 'em, and don't pay any attention to them either. As for breasts...I only tend to notice those if they're really big and I'm think "Oh <expletive>, they can get
that big?!" or "That must hurt her back..." Most of the time I look at people's hair and clothes anyway.
Quote from: Nichole on August 21, 2008, 10:50:48 PM
Yes, they do have those!! Although some of the prettiest I cannot imagine wearing anywhere but maybe a costume party or a circle.
You guys have some of the absolutely most interesting threads!! Not so interesting I'd be willing to ever be a guy, but some really creative and interesting threads.
You all just rock.
Nichole
Thanks Nichole. I thought it was a tad ridiculous when I first posted it...
And yeah, most of these probably aren't really something you'd wear just anywhere.
Hey boys,
Quite an interesting thread here. I have some problems like this too; but only the other way around. I look really good as a guy, but for some dumb reason or other, I am still envious of other guys, and I don't why. Maybe to this day I still want to be normal. But, as trapthavok stated, normal is most definitely overrated.
But, I am also REALLY envious of women, as I was born and grew up in this masculine male body. Quite confusing as hell if you ask me. But then again, I just started confronting this mess about 5-6 months ago.
It's like I have a really good male body, and I "should" be thankful, but I just want/wish to live as a woman, the way it should be.
I've never been jealous of women's physicality... but definitely their comfort with it. Like others here, I confused my attraction to them with 'envy'. The opposite goes with blokes, who I definitely envious of. Man, I wanted those wide shoulders and small hips for myself!
And to go with the other topic, I usually tend to notice boobs... but I like all sorts! Most of the time I like smaller ones more though... but damn! If I see a woman with nice hips I have to stop myself from staring. One time I saw this woman walking towards me and she had a really nice slender figure with decent boobage, but then her hips were awesomely wide and I was all
"Whoa."
I literally almost stopped, just to stare at her hips as she walked past and had to pick my jaw up off the sidewalk.
*cough*
So I guess I'm more of a 'hip' person? XD There's just something so sexy about the way they flare out from the waist... nom, nom, nom...