First time poster, with a question for those who identify androgynous: how do you do it? I'm told our society is one of the few that doesn't recognize a third gender, so what is it actually like? I'm sure everyone here has different answers, which is both a bad and a good thing: no blueprint to follow, but no expectations to live up to either.
pretty much the same way you do.
So today.
i woke up today feeling energetic.
i washed in the shower, i used all sorts of creams and lotions that are usually regarded as feminine, meaning that when i got dressed i was smelling sweet.
i was working today (as a tourguide) so i put on my work uniform.
i listened to music on the way to the tube station...i was going to pick the free metro off the rack before forgetting that it was a saturday and the metro doesn't come out on the weekend.
i waltz through the tube stations, my connections are perfect, i get a seat. As tube journey's go, it was the best.
i go to marks and sparks and pick up a cheese scone that is still warm...
i do my first tour. it goes quite well. no tips but lots of smiles.
i sit around on my break and share silly stories with other tourguides.
i do my second tour, it's a bit tough to get the crowd warmed up, they don't particularly laugh at my jokes.
i drink some capri-sun and eat a peach whilst chatting with my mates.
i do the third tour, there are some people and they love my shtick, they get off half way and i don't get the energy back till the bus fills up three quarters through.
i do some shopping, go to sainsburys and buy lots of reduced food. i buy a quiche for tommorow, prawns and nuts and noodles to stir fry with some veg for today.
i sit on the bus home (it's cheaper than the tube) it takes longer. I look at the people and in the shop windows. I see a dress that i wish i had the body for, i decide i would wear it with grey leggings.
i get off the bus and walk home, glad i'm not in a dress because it would make my lugging of shopping bags harder.
i get home chat to my landlady.
change into pajamas, i wear men's sweat pants and a t-shirt because there is someone viewing the spare room today and i would feel a little self conscious in my female pajamas.
i cook dinner.
i eat it.
i read a book, ocassionally checking susan's place every chapter or so.
i drink a little port and a lot of tea, and listen to the Zombies and Clinic on CD.
i probably then go to bed.
...
Gendered Stuff Today:
my choice of cosmetics (and probably my thoroughness in their application)
probably the success (or lack) with my tours, the stories i choose and the way i present them.
a few musings about dresses and the conclusion that as attractive as i may feel, it wouldn't be useful for me.
my choice of pajamas....
...the food i eat? the way i walk? the way i understand what people are saying?
....
Life is mostly the stuff we have to do.
Posted on: August 23, 2008, 04:22:55 PM
welcome to the site by the way ;D
cosmetics ginger? :o
Posted on: August 23, 2008, 05:28:36 PM
oh and welcome to the forest, Dina. I'm Nero. <offers hand>
not cosmetics. just lots of different cleansers, moisterisers in lots of nice sweet smells.
i often put some talcum powder on as well, cos it feels nice after a shower.
what scents?
loads of choices, mint, coconut, one that is chocolate lime smelling, strawberry, peach... you know - stuff that means you smell nice to yourself before boarding a crowded tube.
OP: are you asking if our androgynes are fulltime? Hmm do androgynes go fulltime?
and Ginger: you've got the body for every dress in every shop, in every town, in every country, on every continent.
androgynes are born full time
I've been at home the past two days, mostly working in the garden, writing a new blog entry and posting some news items at Susan's. It's hot this weekend, so I've been wearing cut off jeans shorts and a tee shirt. Since I wasn't going to see people I didn't bother to shave. I have a rehearsal tomorrow so I will shave in the AM.
When I went to work earlier in the week, I wore female batik pattern short sleeve shirt, blue jeans, I don't know if they were womens or mens, and clogs. Hair tied back in a ponytail. I generally wear a mix of clothing, but it's subtle, has to be for work. I also watched a movie last night, Bob Dylan, Newport Folk Festival 1963-65. Must go cook dinner now. That's my day to day. It's full time, all the time.
Zythyra
So...everyone pretty much decides how they do it for themselves?
Day to day? Swinging between boy mode and girl mode, and enjoying insights into both worlds. Looking at pretty girls and wondering what it would be like to live a day in their world. Looking at pretty feminine clothes and wishing I could wear them. Being excited about getting a new tool, or successfully repairing an auto. Wishing my beard would go away. etc.
There is also an element of internal friction between the two modes (at least for me). This causes a lot of difficulty, and questioning.
Quote from: dina_hastings on August 23, 2008, 08:59:44 PM
So...everyone pretty much decides how they do it for themselves?
pretty much.
make girly giggles, sing to my dogs, scream back and forth with my bird in high shrilly voices and whistles, put on my sexy jeans and walk around at the carnival and flirt with people....
i wish i could wear tighter girl shirts to show off my muscles but my boobs would make me seem like a girl
umm... thats about it. lol
everyone is dancing to their own tunes around here.
Quote from: Zythyra on August 23, 2008, 05:35:44 PM
I also watched a movie last night, Bob Dylan, Newport Folk Festival 1963-65.
Woo. I love you androgynes!
Quote from: dina_hastings on August 23, 2008, 08:59:44 PM
So...everyone pretty much decides how they do it for themselves?
yep. Reading through the threads might give you an idea of what we're like (not sure if that's a good thing or not ;)). Being androgyne is just part of who I am...I wouldn't be me without being androgyne...rather, I don't really know how not to be androgyne, so it's kind of hard to answer your question. :D
right day to day really does depend on the day.
at the weekends im probalby more andro than in the week as work clothes are hard to find in andro styles though i am working on it swoped my trouses and shoes over to female ones just need suitable tops now to finish them off. though at work where i work with a lot of female staff there is more opertunity to join in more usual female stuff. at the weekend, i tend to wear female clothes in an andro style and have wear a bra which defines my breasts more, nothing i find confusers people more than having breasts, cos you must be female if you have them even if you look male. i also wear make up and pay close attendtion to my eyes which i think also when done make you look more fem. when out i tend to just be myself and not try to hard to be either male or female, let other people decide where they want to put me, though i do find smiling widly helps in all situations :0) the only probs im starting to have at the moment is when gonig to the toilet as i dont seem to feel confertable in either at the moment when waiting for my partner the other day outside the ladies i turned round to find id started a que for them :0) with my friends now which are mostly female i am just me and i have been granted honory girl status and just join in with things. thats how i live the day to day. at the moment though it might all change tomorrow
I'm dressed kind of andro today, in my favorite pair of well-worn tan/kakhi baggy pants-things, and a loose grey t-shirt with nike design on it, and since it's loose it's harder to see my chest unless you reeeeally look.
Some days I dress more girly, others less or more towards masculine depending on how I feel.
I almost never wear any makeup at all, and my lip balm doesn't count.
The lovely Pica mentioned scents :D I wear deodorant that, unfortunately smells very flowery and doesn't seem like me at all; I need to work on that. Otherwise my shampoo scent is a pretty neutral smell, and the only other kind of scented stuff I have is some lotion if I have dry skin that's an 'ocean breeze' scent or something, very pleasing and not really overwhelming. I like fruity and spicy scents too, but I stay away from most scented stuff because I have sensitive skin.
Otherwise, I just do all the same stuff other people do during their day, I guess the only differences might be that a lot of androgynes seem to variate between decidedly male or decidedly female clothing depending on how they feel that day or the situation they're going to be in.
Some binaries probably don't sometimes wish they had features of the opposite sex though ??? I do a lot :P
I wear female clothes as much as possible but not very fem almost never get clocked as guy in girl clothes at support groups (trans or X-dress) sometimes asked about my beard I just say its staying unless part of real conversion where i say its complex
I loo male even though i'm wearing andro fem clothes
coconut, one that is chocolate lime
Well, I put the lime in the coconut, and mix them both up. But that's just me.
And I prefer very girl smells like Jean Nate or Love's Baby Soft.
And yes, we are all making it up as we go.
Personally, I just do whatever feels right. Shaving, perfumes, feminine male (or just plain female) clothing... It's all in my best interests. I don't let society govern the way I act. Sometimes I'll have a day where I feel like acting overtly feminine, and on smaller occasions I do the exact opposite. Although, I've found that I enjoy acting feminine a lot more than I enjoy meeting a male role. More often than not, I'll be in the middle of both extremes. Thankfully, I'm passable as either gender.
I'm the same, I just do what feels right. But I do feel pressure to conform. We probably all have different needs as to what we need to do to feel comfortable and this is balanced with how much pressure we feel or can take externaly and internaly. Often the internal and extenal pressures are so high I start to feel squeezed.
Quote from: Pica Pica on August 24, 2008, 01:23:05 AM
Quote from: dina_hastings on August 23, 2008, 08:59:44 PM
So...everyone pretty much decides how they do it for themselves?
pretty much.
Honestly, I think that's what I wanted to hear.
that's good then.
Society has rules for being male & female but not androgyne. I try to push the limits of society's male rules but conform enough to stay safe. I feel bad when I'm excluded because I'm not female