so hard to come by, and so fearful of rejection we are.
i have seeming acceptance from someone, and am not only astounded after my years of being treated as though it would be better to have tuberculosis or a std, but feeling a closeness that i am not used to.
so. here's my question.
Do we build walls that don't allow others in because we are so used to rejection?
hi... Tracy . yes we can the thing is do we need to ,,,no ,,,i have been accepted by a lot of people here in n z over the last 11 years . as i was coming out . the first thing i had done was do i accept my self yes , so then will others accept me for who i am, i was not sure . i told jos . then 5 years later i told our kids then every one . i was a women . then from then on i was out as a women yes s r s , so yes i have been accepted for who i am . why did i get that acceptance . i was honest & told people what i was doing , i know what you are saying . so yes we can have acceptance , that i know ...noeleena ...
I don't know that I build walls so much anymore. I just hide behind the ones I already have when things get tough. It's so easy to fall into the old defensive habits when things get overwhelming.
Val
I never considered acceptance as an issue, boy do I have alot to learn about this community :) I work for a Doctors clinic aswering phones checking in patients that sorta stuff, so for the most part I kept my hair pulled back in a pony tail, no bangs, no makeup just some stud earings in both ears and I have done that for the 1.5 years I have worked there, so I finally deside I'm gona be a woman all the time, I guess it's called fulltime, carefully I cut bangs and curl them, and I wore a little eye liner and mascara, nobody gave me a second look expect one of the nurses asked if I was wearing makeup I told her I was stepping outa my box she said it's about time your to pretty a young lady to be so drab, I never considered any of this, the next week I wore a skirt outfit scared to death but once again nobody said nada I guess I'm accepted :)
Tracy,
Lack of acceptance was my overwhelming fear my whole life. I thought I would never have it. Recently, I came out to my family, some old friends, and my boss at work. I was/am completely astounded by the reaction. Acceptance has been everyone's reaction. It's been, if this make you happy and feel fulfilled, then it's OK with us.
I still can't believe how wrong I was all these years. But now I feel strangely uneasy. Is it too good to be true? I have all these doubts about the sincerity of this acceptance. It may be that my problem with acceptance was never acceptance by others, but acceptance of myself.
Like you, I put up walls to keep others out, to avoid rejection. Now I want the walls to come down, but they were well built and it hasn't been easy.