So my stepmom has, I believe, begun a gradual pronoun switch. To my face or when I'm around, she uses "he", but to my mom, who hasn't switched, she uses "she", still. It's... well, I thought when people began using the correct pronoun, I'd go mad with happiness, but... last night I heard her using "he" and I started to feel a little anxious. I'm not sure why. It's great and all, but I think it will be a bit better once my mom switches. Then there will be no confusion (I don't know what to answer to anymore). But I'm still pretty damn happy at least someone is thinking of my tender little feelings. Plus, now that Bonita (stepmom) has switched, or is switching, that will probably put pressure on my mom to make the change. Yay for the word "he". I love it.
That's brilliant! One of my friends has started using male-gendered words when we're speaking in Spanish to each other, and it really is a nice, happy feeling. Not a jump-up-and-down-and-scream-ecstatically happy, more a warm-and-fuzzy-internally-content sort of happy. Go you! And as you said, with any luck your Mum will start the change soon too. Yay!!!!!! :icon_joy:
:icon_hug:
Lutin
Well that's great that they're starting to switch. *sigh* My parents still use feminine pronouns and my girl name... But then again I haven't actually told them I want masculine pronouns... ::) ... I just sort of thought if I told them I was trans they would get the message, but they haven't. Oh well, when I'm finally able to start transitioning, they'll have no choice but to switch!
I haven't asked anyone to switch pronouns yet. I'm not out at work, my kids call me Mom, etc. I figure I'll wait until my name change (1 month) and ask, but not be too forceful until top surgery (Dec). at which time I hope to be passing pretty well.
Jay
My family all still call me "she." My dad sometimes calls me "he." He also calls me Dan quite a bit. But the issue is sensitive with my step mom. She wants me to "proclaim" that I am ready before she will use the pronouns. I don't feel a need to say, "I AM READY NOW" or something. But I guess I will. I mean, I use the pronouns and name everywhere else except here at home. One of my worries is that my dad or step mom will get used to it and accidentally slip a "Dan" or a "he" if they're talking to my mom. That would completely freak her out. I know she won't like the name.
My new name will probably Daniel Jeffrey R****. Unfortunately, my birth middle name is very important to my mom. It's "Jeanne," named after my grandmother, a woman who was very mentally ill and a pill addict. Not that I mind being named after a crazy lady, but it's just not masculine enough for my new name. I made sure my middle name had a "J" though, out of respect for my mom's weird wish.
When people call me "he," I do also feel a bit anxious. A feeling like, "They called me he, okay. Now when are they going to want me to prove it." Seriously. I worry that all the guys will take their shirts off and I'll be the only one that doesn't. Then they'll wrestle me to get it off because they just think I'm being shy. Then they'll see them... Obviously I'm thinking quite far ahead but I'm worried about the whole ordeal. Concealing a woman's body in the men's locker room and the men's bathroom and at a bachelor party are all very hard things to do.
My mom and step father will feel the pressure to use the proper pronoun once I start transitioning. They'll hear my voice and go, "Great Scott, my daughter sounds and looks like a man." It will possibly even feel awkward to call me a she when you look at me straight in the face and see a man looking back at you.
Quote from: Elwood on August 31, 2008, 01:29:20 PM
My new name will probably Daniel Jeffrey R****. Unfortunately, my birth middle name is very important to my mom. It's "Jeanne," named after my grandmother, a woman who was very mentally ill and a pill addict. Not that I mind being named after a crazy lady, but it's just not masculine enough for my new name. I made sure my middle name had a "J" though, out of respect for my mom's weird wish.
I'm in the same situation, sort of. When I was born my mom gave me the same first name as her Dutch grandmother and the middle name of her other grandmother. Needless to say, I've NEVER liked either my first name or middle name. My first name is weird and feminine and my middle name is VERY feminine...
Quote from: Adam on August 31, 2008, 03:15:59 PMQuote from: Elwood on August 31, 2008, 01:29:20 PMMy new name will probably Daniel Jeffrey R****. Unfortunately, my birth middle name is very important to my mom. It's "Jeanne," named after my grandmother, a woman who was very mentally ill and a pill addict. Not that I mind being named after a crazy lady, but it's just not masculine enough for my new name. I made sure my middle name had a "J" though, out of respect for my mom's weird wish.
I'm in the same situation, sort of. When I was born my mom gave me the same first name as her Dutch grandmother and the middle name of her other grandmother. Needless to say, I've NEVER liked either my first name or middle name. My first name is weird and feminine and my middle name is VERY feminine...
Same with me. I don't particularly DISLIKE my first name, but it is 100% feminine, can't be male under any circumstances, and well, I can't pass with a name like that.
Well I think the thing I hate most about my name is that whenever a stranger learns it, their reaction is always "That is such a pretty name". I don't want a "pretty" name. I don't want to be "pretty" period. I want to be "cool" "handsome" "rugged" etc...
Quote from: Adam on August 31, 2008, 04:00:51 PMWell I think the thing I hate most about my name is that whenever a stranger learns it, their reaction is always "That is such a pretty name". I don't want a "pretty" name. I don't want to be "pretty" period. I want to be "cool" "handsome" "rugged" etc...
Lol. My name is so common that no one takes notice of it. They just go, "Oh, I guess that means she's a girl." ARGH.
Quote from: Elwood on August 31, 2008, 04:05:26 PM
Quote from: Adam on August 31, 2008, 04:00:51 PMWell I think the thing I hate most about my name is that whenever a stranger learns it, their reaction is always "That is such a pretty name". I don't want a "pretty" name. I don't want to be "pretty" period. I want to be "cool" "handsome" "rugged" etc...
Lol. My name is so common that no one takes notice of it. They just go, "Oh, I guess that means she's a girl." ARGH.
But the really funny thing is, I've always wanted to be called something different. When I was younger, I had no idea what I wanted to be called since all the other girl names didn't appeal to me either. Well maybe Amanda did sort of appeal to me (get it? A-Man-Duh!). But now that I finally know what I want to be called, I have no idea how to tell people.
Quote from: Elwood on August 31, 2008, 01:29:20 PM
When people call me "he," I do also feel a bit anxious. A feeling like, "They called me he, okay. Now when are they going to want me to prove it." Seriously. I worry that all the guys will take their shirts off and I'll be the only one that doesn't. Then they'll wrestle me to get it off because they just think I'm being shy. Then they'll see them... Obviously I'm thinking quite far ahead but I'm worried about the whole ordeal. Concealing a woman's body in the men's locker room and the men's bathroom and at a bachelor party are all very hard things to do.
I can't say anything like that has ever happened to me or anyone I know. Sure, there's a certain "normal behaviour" in the locker rooms but when someone is not conforming to it (i.e. not wanting to undress in front of everyone) the guys generally just leave them alone...
I changed in the toilet stalls all through high school and I can't remember anyone ever saying anything about it.
Quote from: Adam on August 31, 2008, 04:00:51 PM
Well I think the thing I hate most about my name is that whenever a stranger learns it, their reaction is always "That is such a pretty name". I don't want a "pretty" name. I don't want to be "pretty" period. I want to be "cool" "handsome" "rugged" etc...
Same here. My stepmom seems to get it. My mom still calls me "beautiful" or "cute". I usually just glare at her until she says, "Oh, I mean, handsome/cool." I don't really think "beautiful" is feminine, but it ain't me.
Quote from: Yochanan on September 01, 2008, 09:17:15 AM
Quote from: Adam on August 31, 2008, 04:00:51 PM
Well I think the thing I hate most about my name is that whenever a stranger learns it, their reaction is always "That is such a pretty name". I don't want a "pretty" name. I don't want to be "pretty" period. I want to be "cool" "handsome" "rugged" etc...
Same here. My stepmom seems to get it. My mom still calls me "beautiful" or "cute". I usually just glare at her until she says, "Oh, I mean, handsome/cool." I don't really think "beautiful" is feminine, but it ain't me.
Lucky you. I glare at my mom when she calls me something I don't like and she still doesn't get it. Maybe it would help more if I actually told her how I feel.
You're probably right. My mom didn't have a clue why I glared until after I came out... now she figures it out about half the time without me saying a word. Still needs reminders, though.
Quote from: Imadique on September 01, 2008, 04:55:00 AMQuote from: Elwood on August 31, 2008, 01:29:20 PMWhen people call me "he," I do also feel a bit anxious. A feeling like, "They called me he, okay. Now when are they going to want me to prove it." Seriously. I worry that all the guys will take their shirts off and I'll be the only one that doesn't. Then they'll wrestle me to get it off because they just think I'm being shy. Then they'll see them... Obviously I'm thinking quite far ahead but I'm worried about the whole ordeal. Concealing a woman's body in the men's locker room and the men's bathroom and at a bachelor party are all very hard things to do.
I can't say anything like that has ever happened to me or anyone I know. Sure, there's a certain "normal behaviour" in the locker rooms but when someone is not conforming to it (i.e. not wanting to undress in front of everyone) the guys generally just leave them alone...
I changed in the toilet stalls all through high school and I can't remember anyone ever saying anything about it.
I've had it happen, even as a "female." Except I was allowed to keep my sports bra on.
Quote from: Elwood on September 01, 2008, 12:23:55 PM
Quote from: Imadique on September 01, 2008, 04:55:00 AMQuote from: Elwood on August 31, 2008, 01:29:20 PMWhen people call me "he," I do also feel a bit anxious. A feeling like, "They called me he, okay. Now when are they going to want me to prove it." Seriously. I worry that all the guys will take their shirts off and I'll be the only one that doesn't. Then they'll wrestle me to get it off because they just think I'm being shy. Then they'll see them... Obviously I'm thinking quite far ahead but I'm worried about the whole ordeal. Concealing a woman's body in the men's locker room and the men's bathroom and at a bachelor party are all very hard things to do.
I can't say anything like that has ever happened to me or anyone I know. Sure, there's a certain "normal behaviour" in the locker rooms but when someone is not conforming to it (i.e. not wanting to undress in front of everyone) the guys generally just leave them alone...
I changed in the toilet stalls all through high school and I can't remember anyone ever saying anything about it.
I've had it happen, even as a "female." Except I was allowed to keep my sports bra on.
o-0 That's harsh. Usually here when one guy refuses to take off his shirt even when the rest are shirtless, everyone just assumes, oh they're probably just a little flabby so we don't want to see that anyways, and so they leave the kid alone.
Quote from: freespeechz on September 01, 2008, 02:19:15 PMo-0 That's harsh. Usually here when one guy refuses to take off his shirt even when the rest are shirtless, everyone just assumes, oh they're probably just a little flabby so we don't want to see that anyways, and so they leave the kid alone.
Yeah. People are pretty harsh when you're a full-fledged tomboy. They keep testing you to see how far you'll go.
Before I came out, I was a lot like a Starbuck (left). Now I wanna be like an Apollo (right), lol.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi5.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fy168%2Fpenguin_furuba%2FPeople%2Fstarbuck-apollo.jpg&hash=54ec00a6ad2cb0cf66af2a4d0090f5533f32db57)
Sometimes I feel like I could go back to living life like I did before. Something about a tomboy is really cute. But then I remember how much my body bothers me. I just can't stand having these parts...
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi5.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fy168%2Fpenguin_furuba%2FPeople%2Fnew-starbuck--700102.jpg&hash=6e87a0010f6958ba37740dde79377b6d300b9a1a)
It's a shame. If I could adjust to my body, that's how I'd live. But I don't think I can.