Good evening guys, dolls, unicorns.
This is the elephant in the room that is never brought up, but I'm just crazy enough to do so.
Which sex holds the sexual power? We all know the answer to that question. Sure there are gay men and blah, blah, blah.
But we all know who holds universal sexual power.
The female of our species is designed to be beautiful and alluring for the sake of mankind's survival.
This sexual power is unparalled. Greed is often motivated by the quest for this power.
While much is made of male privilege, no one wants to address the sexual power and advantages of walking this world as a female.
As a man who has tasted this fruit from Eve's fabled tree, I know what I'm about to lose. Once my awesome tits are chopped and my face hairy, I will never taste this fruit again. I will never again walk into a room and experience all eyes on me for sake of my mere presence. I will never sink my teeth into the flesh of the ripe fruit set before me. (ie. any random man I see).
This is a loss I know I will grieve. But alas I am a man and must make sacrifices.
Ha, like any sacrifice the priestess should be the one to wield the knife!! >:D
Trust me Nero, anything you lose you will find that you gain a lot more in terms of social interaction and the way society works. Hell, if you're a good looking man you may find that you gain all the way around. Hell, you may anyhow.
Nichole
I guess in a way you're right. My female body is so powerful it's crushing my manhood. It's sexual attraction (my body) is disallowing my masculinity to peek out. All people can see are the tender breasts and the pink labia. They ignore everything else about my person. It really irritates me.
When I very first began crossing the gender line publicly, I was alarmed by the instant loss of something that I had so taken for granted that I hadn't even realized it was there. All of a sudden, that little harmless spark with women-- 7-11 clerks, friends of friends, you name it--was gone. Not on my part! On theirs. I especially recall one gal who had about tripped all over herself flirting with me just a few weeks before, and the next time i saw her, not a flicker. She had no idea I was the same person.
So I thought, oh chit, I don't want to lose this, I really like women (ok ok, so i ADORED women) and it shook me up to think of losing that little frisson with them.
But, as my brilliant sister has pointed out, in the end the gains outweighed the losses. The smiles and hellos I get from other women as a matter of course, because I am a woman. The ability to be with women as a woman, when our hair is down and everyone is real. And yes Virginia, there are women out there who love other women, and sometimes they care for this woman. What I never realized clearly before, was that I was never going to be able to fully connect before, because women I met were wanting a man, and I just couldn't begin to deliver. Now, if they like me, they like ME. (see, i still adore women lol...I just happen to be one!)
And, although I don't have any desire to sleep with one, I really enjoy attention from a nice man, something I would never have experienced before. So, Nero my hero, for me the gains were far greater than the losses. And you're right, there is power in simply being seen as an attractive female. I won't deny that I enjoy it.
Stealth
Sexual power is held by those who are hot or sexy. Regardless of gender. And I've found that often, especially with FtMs, transgenders are much hotter than cisgenders, in a general sense. I know for myself, that once my baby fat on my face rolls off and I don't look like a tweenie anymore, I will be an extremely good looking guy. So I'm not fussed. :)
Quote from: Elwood on September 01, 2008, 05:55:26 PM
I guess in a way you're right. My female body is so powerful it's crushing my manhood. It's sexual attraction (my body) is disallowing my masculinity to peek out. All people can see are the tender breasts and the pink labia. They ignore everything else about my person. It really irritates me.
That's why I always wear shirts that completely cover my chest and does not show any outline. That way, people will see me as a man like I want them to.
Quote from: freespeechz on September 01, 2008, 06:35:02 PM
Sexual power is held by those who are hot or sexy. Regardless of gender. And I've found that often, especially with FtMs, transgenders are much hotter than cisgenders, in a general sense. I know for myself, that once my baby fat on my face rolls off and I don't look like a tweenie anymore, I will be an extremely good looking guy. So I'm not fussed. :)
Sexual power is not evenly distributed amongst the genders though. Take a picture of a hot man and a hot woman for example. Far more people are going to get off looking at the woman than the man, females included. :P
Quote from: Adam on September 01, 2008, 06:37:11 PM
Quote from: Elwood on September 01, 2008, 05:55:26 PM
I guess in a way you're right. My female body is so powerful it's crushing my manhood. It's sexual attraction (my body) is disallowing my masculinity to peek out. All people can see are the tender breasts and the pink labia. They ignore everything else about my person. It really irritates me.
That's why I always wear shirts that completely cover my chest and does not show any outline. That way, people will see me as a man like I want them to.
Well, in public people see me as male. But everyone who's tried to be intimate with me... it went like:
Person: Ur hot lets make out
Elwood: I'm pretty sure you don't want to--
Person: Omg you have boobs...
Elwood: Frack.
Person: Thaz hawt.
Elwood: Murder me.
Quote from: Elwood on September 01, 2008, 06:42:59 PM
Quote from: Adam on September 01, 2008, 06:37:11 PM
Quote from: Elwood on September 01, 2008, 05:55:26 PM
I guess in a way you're right. My female body is so powerful it's crushing my manhood. It's sexual attraction (my body) is disallowing my masculinity to peek out. All people can see are the tender breasts and the pink labia. They ignore everything else about my person. It really irritates me.
That's why I always wear shirts that completely cover my chest and does not show any outline. That way, people will see me as a man like I want them to.
Well, in public people see me as male. But everyone who's tried to be intimate with me... it went like:
Person: Ur hot lets make out
Elwood: I'm pretty sure you don't want to--
Person: Omg you have boobs...
Elwood: Frack.
Person: Thaz hawt.
Elwood: Murder me.
LOL
Lol, that's seriously what usually happens. Since bisexual people tend to be attracted to my "both genders" sort of look.
That's probably only because of societal norms. In a world where the general population is straight, and men are supposed to have higher sex drives, thus the pornography industry is created by a man, and thus most pornography is of women, which seeps into the general media, and so women are more thrust out as sexual objects than men.
Quote from: Elwood on September 01, 2008, 05:55:26 PM
I guess in a way you're right. My female body is so powerful it's crushing my manhood. It's sexual attraction (my body) is disallowing my masculinity to peek out. All people can see are the tender breasts and the pink labia. They ignore everything else about my person. It really irritates me.
People see your pink labia? What are you wearing that allows them to see
that?
Quote from: Elwood on September 01, 2008, 06:51:53 PM
Lol, that's seriously what usually happens. Since bisexual people tend to be attracted to my "both genders" sort of look.
I can see that. Bisexual guys often considered me 'the best of both worlds' even though I didn't look male in the slightest.
You know, a lot of lesbians are completely stone and they somehow manage. I know you're not lesbian, but while you're inbetween and attracting bi girls and the like, you could just make clear up front, you're stone butch, even though you're trans. They may be better able to understand that concept.
Posted on: September 01, 2008, 07:57:02 PM
Quote from: freespeechz on September 01, 2008, 06:53:48 PM
That's probably only because of societal norms. In a world where the general population is straight, and men are supposed to have higher sex drives, thus the pornography industry is created by a man, and thus most pornography is of women, which seeps into the general media, and so women are more thrust out as sexual objects than men.
That is true. But I think it goes deeper than that. I mean even gay men in general prefer femmy childlike features.
Quote from: Rebis on September 01, 2008, 06:55:54 PMQuote from: Elwood on September 01, 2008, 05:55:26 PMI guess in a way you're right. My female body is so powerful it's crushing my manhood. It's sexual attraction (my body) is disallowing my masculinity to peek out. All people can see are the tender breasts and the pink labia. They ignore everything else about my person. It really irritates me.
People see your pink labia? What are you wearing that allows them to see that?
They don't see it. They fantasize over it.
Posted on: September 01, 2008, 05:05:35 PM
Quote from: Nero on September 01, 2008, 07:00:13 PMQuote from: Elwood on September 01, 2008, 06:51:53 PMLol, that's seriously what usually happens. Since bisexual people tend to be attracted to my "both genders" sort of look.
I can see that. Bisexual guys often considered me 'the best of both worlds' even though I didn't look male in the slightest.
You know, a lot of lesbians are completely stone and they somehow manage. I know you're not lesbian, but while you're inbetween and attracting bi girls and the like, you could just make clear up front, you're stone butch, even though you're trans. They may be better able to understand that concept.
I just want to be a satisfactory man in the man world...
Hmm. Stone. Butch. I don't like the words, but if that's the lingo they use...
Yeah most bi and les women will respect the fact that a stone butch's body is for all intents and purposes, off limits. So prolly the easiest and quickest way to communicate what you want and don't want.
Quote from: Nero on September 01, 2008, 07:14:27 PMYeah most bi and les women will respect the fact that a stone butch's body is for all intents and purposes, off limits. So prolly the easiest and quickest way to communicate what you want and don't want.
I hope that one day my body won't be off limits... :(
Quote from: Elwood on September 01, 2008, 07:17:22 PM
Quote from: Nero on September 01, 2008, 07:14:27 PMYeah most bi and les women will respect the fact that a stone butch's body is for all intents and purposes, off limits. So prolly the easiest and quickest way to communicate what you want and don't want.
I hope that one day my body won't be off limits... :(
What would it take for you to feel that way?
Quote from: Elwood on September 01, 2008, 07:06:40 PM
Quote from: Rebis on September 01, 2008, 06:55:54 PMQuote from: Elwood on September 01, 2008, 05:55:26 PMI guess in a way you're right. My female body is so powerful it's crushing my manhood. It's sexual attraction (my body) is disallowing my masculinity to peek out. All people can see are the tender breasts and the pink labia. They ignore everything else about my person. It really irritates me.
People see your pink labia? What are you wearing that allows them to see that?
They don't see it. They fantasize over it
And what do you wear to cause them to fantasize over it?
Quote from: Nero on September 01, 2008, 07:19:32 PMQuote from: Elwood on September 01, 2008, 07:17:22 PMQuote from: Nero on September 01, 2008, 07:14:27 PMYeah most bi and les women will respect the fact that a stone butch's body is for all intents and purposes, off limits. So prolly the easiest and quickest way to communicate what you want and don't want.
I hope that one day my body won't be off limits... :(
What would it take for you to feel that way?
Well, top surgery will make it so everything except my vagina and clitoris accessible. If I have medioplasty and my parts feel more like a penis, than everything but my vagina will be accessible. Hopefully I can get that hole shut and have no regions of no access.
Quote from: Adam on September 01, 2008, 07:20:02 PMAnd what do you wear to cause them to fantasize over it?
Nothing particular. I just mean people who know I have it... Some of them see it as a forbidden treasure.
Quote from: Elwood on September 01, 2008, 07:22:57 PM
Quote from: Adam on September 01, 2008, 07:20:02 PMAnd what do you wear to cause them to fantasize over it?
Nothing particular. I just mean people who know I have it... Some of them see it as a forbidden treasure.
lol You should teach them a lesson then, only I have no idea what kind of lesson.
Quote from: Elwood on September 01, 2008, 07:22:57 PM
Quote from: Nero on September 01, 2008, 07:19:32 PMQuote from: Elwood on September 01, 2008, 07:17:22 PMQuote from: Nero on September 01, 2008, 07:14:27 PMYeah most bi and les women will respect the fact that a stone butch's body is for all intents and purposes, off limits. So prolly the easiest and quickest way to communicate what you want and don't want.
I hope that one day my body won't be off limits... :(
What would it take for you to feel that way?
Well, top surgery will make it so everything except my vagina and clitoris accessible. If I have medioplasty and my parts feel more like a penis, than everything but my vagina will be accessible. Hopefully I can get that hole shut and have no regions of no access.
Hmm If you have a lot of vaginal dysphoria maybe you should get a meta. I mean if it's not just the lack of male genitals but the female genitals themselves also bother you, it may just be worth it.
Quote from: Nero on September 01, 2008, 07:30:58 PMQuote from: Elwood on September 01, 2008, 07:22:57 PMQuote from: Nero on September 01, 2008, 07:19:32 PMQuote from: Elwood on September 01, 2008, 07:17:22 PMQuote from: Nero on September 01, 2008, 07:14:27 PMYeah most bi and les women will respect the fact that a stone butch's body is for all intents and purposes, off limits. So prolly the easiest and quickest way to communicate what you want and don't want.
I hope that one day my body won't be off limits... :(
What would it take for you to feel that way?
Well, top surgery will make it so everything except my vagina and clitoris accessible. If I have medioplasty and my parts feel more like a penis, than everything but my vagina will be accessible. Hopefully I can get that hole shut and have no regions of no access.
Hmm If you have a lot of vaginal dysphoria maybe you should get a meta. I mean if it's not just the lack of male genitals but the female genitals themselves also bother you, it may just be worth it.
Metawhat?
The whole thing bugs me!
Girl parts are wrong, boy parts are gone!
Posted on: September 01, 2008, 06:49:50 PM
Quote from: Adam on September 01, 2008, 07:26:28 PMQuote from: Elwood on September 01, 2008, 07:22:57 PMQuote from: Adam on September 01, 2008, 07:20:02 PMAnd what do you wear to cause them to fantasize over it?
Nothing particular. I just mean people who know I have it... Some of them see it as a forbidden treasure.
lol You should teach them a lesson then, only I have no idea what kind of lesson.
Lol. I cracked up when I read this. You're a silly dude, Adam. ;D
Quote from: Elwood on September 01, 2008, 08:50:24 PM
Quote from: Adam on September 01, 2008, 07:26:28 PMQuote from: Elwood on September 01, 2008, 07:22:57 PMQuote from: Adam on September 01, 2008, 07:20:02 PMAnd what do you wear to cause them to fantasize over it?
Nothing particular. I just mean people who know I have it... Some of them see it as a forbidden treasure.
lol You should teach them a lesson then, only I have no idea what kind of lesson.
Lol. I cracked up when I read this. You're a silly dude, Adam. ;D
I can be pretty silly when I want to be.
Women have and always will wield that kind of power. Wars are started over a woman. Countries fall because of a woman. Empires crumble. But we women are not the ones that do this. It is a man that will cause wars to start, countries fall, empires crumble. They say that is was over us, but I don't think that we are really the cause. It is a man's love for a woman that causes these.
Woman are attracted to a man, who is strong, protective, providing, loving, caring, sensitive, open minded. An a great butt doesn't hurt. ** blushing **
Transmen have all the qualities that women look for, because they have had that sense of power and willing gave it up to be the most important thing, themselves. No macho posturing, strutting like roosters, saying "Look at me". They are free to show both sides of their souls.
And I think you might look cute with a goatee, Nero
IMHO,
Janet
Quote from: Janet Lynn on September 01, 2008, 10:20:24 PMAnd I think you might look cute with a goatee, Nero
Seconded.
And don't forget evil. And evil is good. :icon_twisted:
Quote from: Elwood on September 01, 2008, 10:24:39 PM
Quote from: Janet Lynn on September 01, 2008, 10:20:24 PMAnd I think you might look cute with a goatee, Nero
Seconded.
And don't forget evil. And evil is good. :icon_twisted:
I can picture it now. *thinks* It could probably be photoshopped so we can all see it today.
Do it Adam. I would love to see it. Sorry, Nero. I like facial hair, as long as it is unkempt.
Janet
Quote from: Nero on September 01, 2008, 07:00:13 PM
That is true. But I think it goes deeper than that. I mean even gay men in general prefer femmy childlike features.
I have a couple of theories on that, but as thus they are just theories.
A lot of times I've noticed a person who is generally a 'pursuer' seems to prefer a partner with a more child-like/softer/feminine look. Maybe it's because the softer look is associated with youthfulness, and youthfulness is further associated with fertility and longevity. I know it doesn't exactly explain it in the case of a homosexual person, unless you know, instincts are just instincts no matter what your orientation.
Another theory I have, is that the softer, more child-like features are preferred because a child is generally naive, smaller, easier to control. Some people want to be the power in a relationship, and if that's their nature, then maybe it's some sort of weird instinct to pursue a mate with those features because of the control factor.
Or it could just be that people generally respond better to soft shapes, and seem to find more aesthetic appeal in them. Myself, I find harder, angular looks just as attractive as softer looks in any gender, and if this proves anything I mentioned about the 'control theory' I do not envision myself relinquishing control and taking the submissive role to someone who was even softer of face, body and/or personality than myself. It's just something that seems illogical to me.
In female mode I was invisible. Even when I was thin and buff and tried to dress nicer, I got ignored by men. Why? Who knows?? Maybe cuz my boobs were small? I had a sum total of 2 guys I dated before I met and married my now ex-h. After my ex I tried online dating and got very few replies except from a couple of players who just wanted sex and they probably would have f****d anything, sad to say.
Female power? I had NONE. To this day I have no idea why. Maybe guys don't like confident, intelligent, self-sufficient, successful women. Don't know.
It will be interesting to see if anything changes when I pass as a guy.
Jay
Quote from: sneakersjay on September 02, 2008, 08:00:35 AM
Female power? I had NONE. To this day I have no idea why. Maybe guys don't like confident, intelligent, self-sufficient, successful women. Don't know.
Well I've dated five guys post transition ... all but one were (are) in lower status jobs, earned half my salary, were mortgage slaves, couldn't fathom my breadth of cultural interest, I wouldn't really want to try to compare our IQ or professional standing ...
Yet my "sexual power" seems to work in ways that never fail to amaze me, I pick and choose, and could find a different cute guy every day of the week if it were my aim.
OK, right partners are hard to find as they tend to be taken already ... but the reason I'm promiscuous is that I'm looking soo hard ...
And I've never told a guy I'm TS, which I imagine would turn tables on any sexual power I had ... :( ... ?
Laura x
Quote from: Laura Eva B on September 02, 2008, 08:45:36 PM
And I've never told a guy I'm TS, which I imagine would turn tables on any sexual power I had ... :( ... ?
It probably would if they knew. But I can see why you don't have any trouble finding guys >_> You're very attractive! Cute smile :D
Thing is if some guys knew they might get insecure and dwell on what you 'used' to be, instead of what you are now, or something like that.
Posted on: September 03, 2008, 12:44:48 AM
Quote from: sneakersjay on September 02, 2008, 08:00:35 AM
In female mode I was invisible. Even when I was thin and buff and tried to dress nicer, I got ignored by men. Why? Who knows?? Maybe cuz my boobs were small? I had a sum total of 2 guys I dated before I met and married my now ex-h. After my ex I tried online dating and got very few replies except from a couple of players who just wanted sex and they probably would have f****d anything, sad to say.
Female power? I had NONE. To this day I have no idea why. Maybe guys don't like confident, intelligent, self-sufficient, successful women. Don't know.
It will be interesting to see if anything changes when I pass as a guy.
Jay
Sheesh yeah I know what you mean, I feel the same way in female mode. My chest is small too, only a B cup, and I've only ever had a few guys IRL approach me for a date or something. But then most of that was in high school, and in high school I was very withdrawn, socially, so that could be part of the reason I wasn't approached very often. My looks have changed dramatically since then, and I get told a lot more often that I'm attractive, obviously though I'm the geeky/nerdy/gamer girl but still manage to look decidedly feminine unless I really try not too.
Quote from: sneakersjay on September 02, 2008, 08:00:35 AMMaybe guys don't like confident, intelligent, self-sufficient, successful women. Don't know.
Of course not! A woman like that makes most guys feel inferior. (I know!)
Quote from: Northern Jane on September 03, 2008, 04:19:33 AM
Quote from: sneakersjay on September 02, 2008, 08:00:35 AMMaybe guys don't like confident, intelligent, self-sufficient, successful women. Don't know.
Of course not! A woman like that makes most guys feel inferior. (I know!)
And that is a darn shame, but you're right. Some men are like that. Nobody likes to feel inferior of course, but something like a passive trait of being confident, intelligent, self-sufficient, successful, etc, is something no one should have to change just because it makes others feel inferior. Now it is a different story when you are doing things on purpose if you know it makes a person feel lesser.
Hi Janet, I can go along with that, Wing Walker has those qualities but she is very much female, I guess you could define our relationship as lesbian.
QuoteWoman are attracted to a man, who is strong, protective, providing, loving, caring, sensitive, open minded. An a great butt doesn't hurt. ** blushing **
Quoteas well as passive trait of being confident, intelligent, self-sufficient, successful. By Phate
I also love curling up to her tummy and let her put her arms around me. I have never felt as secure and loved before except by my mom when I was a kid.
And of course mustn't forget, my jar opener.
Cindy