Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Non-binary talk => Topic started by: Nicky on September 02, 2008, 03:25:13 PM

Title: Androgynes and their weight
Post by: Nicky on September 02, 2008, 03:25:13 PM
This last couple of weeks I have felt like I was growing breasts, I got a bit of bounce going on, and I was thinking awsome!  :D But then I noticed it was just because I was getting fatter and my belly was not so awsome  :(.

How many of you think about your weight in terms of how it affects your appearance as an androgyne?

I think there is a common perception that super skinny is an andro look.

I feel like eating chocolate... ;)

Title: Re: Androgynes and their weight
Post by: VeryGnawty on September 02, 2008, 03:42:55 PM
Quote from: Nicky on September 02, 2008, 03:25:13 PM
I think there is a common perception that super skinny is an andro look.

That's only because skinny people rarely have prominent breasts or distinctive differences in fat distribution.  Thus it makes you look less male if you are male, because you don't have big bones or muscles, and it makes you look less female if you are female, because you have less subcutaneous fat.

I weigh 105 pounds, and I've always considered myself to look a little androg, even before I knew what androg was.
Title: Re: Androgynes and their weight
Post by: Nicky on September 02, 2008, 03:50:45 PM
105 lbs! arn't you are just an itty bitty thing  :-*.

I'm 70 kilos (154lbs) and even I'm on the small side of the human condition.

Title: Re: Androgynes and their weight
Post by: Pica Pica on September 02, 2008, 04:41:20 PM
i'm overweight and i actually like being fatter then when i'm thinner - except i fit in more clothes when i'm thinner.
Title: Re: Androgynes and their weight
Post by: Jaimey on September 02, 2008, 09:54:15 PM
my fatass doesn't help in the looking andro department because it accentuates certain areas that make me look more female...except the most obvious (the 'girls', as I refer to them, are the only that aren't affected by my weight...makes me think that if I did get wafer thin, which is my ideal, but unrealistic goal, I might be flat chested...that would be awesome!).

for male bodied people, a little extra fat might make you look curvy.  :-\  Maybe.  I don't know really. :D  I have a female friend who is bigger than me and she can dress as male characters and pull it off really well.  It all depends on your build.
Title: Re: Androgynes and their weight
Post by: Nicky on September 02, 2008, 10:02:46 PM
Quote from: Jaimey on September 02, 2008, 09:54:15 PM
for male bodied people, a little extra fat might make you look curvy.  :-\  Maybe.  I don't know really. :D  I have a female friend who is bigger than me and she can dress as male characters and pull it off really well.  It all depends on your build.

well, curvey around the middle anyway. I would not mind being all angles and corners but I prefer the feel of having some meat on my bones - I'm sure my partner appreciates it too - helps to stop your partner getting too bruised in bed.
Title: Re: Androgynes and their weight
Post by: Eva Marie on September 02, 2008, 11:33:08 PM
I was a little skinny guy until I got to about 28 (about 140 lbs), and then I filled out. Now knowing what I know about myself i'd rather be the skinny person again. it would be a lot easier to appear androgynous. I'm not fat, but there is no mistaking my build for a stocky male  :embarrassed:
Title: Re: Androgynes and their weight
Post by: Karen_A on September 03, 2008, 01:47:20 PM
Okay, I may be a bit dim (and you can shoot me down in flames if you like), but surely being an androgyne is a gender issue and as such the physical side is really unimportant. So I think that weight is a bit irrelevant.
Title: Re: Androgynes and their weight
Post by: Pica Pica on September 03, 2008, 01:53:24 PM
i agree totally with you, being an androgyne is an internal identity.
but i suppose gender has an external expression of that internal truth.
Title: Re: Androgynes and their weight
Post by: Constance on September 03, 2008, 02:24:55 PM
Quote from: Jaimey on September 02, 2008, 09:54:15 PM
for male bodied people, a little extra fat might make you look curvy.  :-\  Maybe.  I don't know really. :D  I have a female friend who is bigger than me and she can dress as male characters and pull it off really well.  It all depends on your build.
Yeah, the problem is I'm convex in places where I'd rather be concave.

At 6'1", 190# is not so bad a weight -- if it were muscle which weighs more than fat. I don't build muscle mass (even after about 15 years of avid cycling). My face isn't as gaunt as it used to be (I was 135# 20 years ago, when I got married), but my belly is getting big.

I've almost got small boobs. My daughter calls them lower-case a-cups. Yeah, sure, if it weren't for the damned carpet growing all over them. Sorry, that was probably TMI.

My wife has been doing the Weight Watchers thing for a while now, and I'm about to start. At my height, less than about 165# is probably unhealthy, so I don't want to lose too much weight. I definitely want to stay below 200. I used to joke that 69 kg was my ideal weight, but that might be a bit light for 6'1".

I don't really think my weight has much to do with my overall dysphoria. Sure, I don't like looking like I have a beer belly (especially since I don't drink all that much beer). My weight dysphoria is separate from my androgyne body disphoria.
Title: Re: Androgynes and their weight
Post by: Eva Marie on September 03, 2008, 02:39:21 PM
Quote from: Pica Pica on September 03, 2008, 01:53:24 PM
i agree totally with you, being an androgyne is an internal identity.
but i suppose gender has an external expression of that internal truth.

Exactly. I wouldn't mind if the outside looked a little more like how I feel on the inside.
Title: Re: Androgynes and their weight
Post by: RebeccaFog on September 03, 2008, 03:06:52 PM

I only give half a damn about my weight these days. I tend to be about 180-190 LBS (or 81 to 86 kilos) at 5 feet 10 inches. When I was young, I weighed like 150-155 punds.  That's right, I said 'punds' what are going to do about it?  >:(



by the way, 5 feet, 10 inches is 8 inches taller than Pica,
Title: Re: Androgynes and their weight
Post by: Constance on September 03, 2008, 04:13:37 PM
Quote from: Rebis on September 03, 2008, 03:06:52 PM
by the way, 5 feet, 10 inches is 8 inches taller than Pica,
Great, sounds like, "My androgyne is bigger than yours."
Title: Re: Androgynes and their weight
Post by: Jaimey on September 03, 2008, 06:17:12 PM
LOL.
Title: Re: Androgynes and their weight
Post by: VeryGnawty on September 03, 2008, 06:24:16 PM
Quote from: Nicky on September 02, 2008, 03:50:45 PM
105 lbs! arn't you are just an itty bitty thing  :-*.

Yeah, and as an itty bitty thing, I can move like lightning and fit into places that nobody else can.  I'm like a shrew, except that I live longer than a week.  And I don't have a tail.  OK, so there are a lot of differences between shrews and myself, but you get the idea.

When people drop their car keys under the seat, they ask me to fetch them.  You ever seen a big buff guy with enormous hands try to retrieve an object out of a tiny crevice?  Yeah, it doesn't work so well.
Title: Re: Androgynes and their weight
Post by: CryoMax on September 04, 2008, 01:30:24 PM
Quote from: Shades O'Grey on September 03, 2008, 02:24:55 PM
Yeah, the problem is I'm convex in places where I'd rather be concave.

At 6'1", 190# is not so bad a weight -- if it were muscle which weighs more than fat.

...

I don't really think my weight has much to do with my overall dysphoria. Sure, I don't like looking like I have a beer belly (especially since I don't drink all that much beer). My weight dysphoria is separate from my androgyne body disphoria.

I'm totally there.  6'3", 240 lbs (and actually down 10 from last year), with a very distinct "Buddha belly".  My arms are like sticks, though, which would be great if I shaved them; I never developed any significant arm mass.  I would love to lose the belly to effect a more feminine (or at least, andro) shape, but I would probably want to do that anyway if I was a "regular guy".

Interestingly enough, I wonder that, if I had a real set of breasts, if I wouldn't mind the belly so much.  I have enough female friends who are large in the middle that I can know it's not a bad thing, but not having the "top" to match the "middle" makes me focus on the middle.  :P

I'm hoping it gets me back to the gym, though.  :)  If I'm going to have some gender dysphoria, I'm going to try to take advantage of it to drive me to get in better shape!

...Paul
Title: Re: Androgynes and their weight
Post by: Nicky on September 07, 2008, 03:54:09 PM
Quote from: Karen_A on September 03, 2008, 01:47:20 PM
Okay, I may be a bit dim (and you can shoot me down in flames if you like), but surely being an androgyne is a gender issue and as such the physical side is really unimportant. So I think that weight is a bit irrelevant.

I suffer from body dysphoria and socialy I don't like being mistaken for a male. The physical side is important for me. I'm not sure if weight iteself is relevant, but it might be for some, so worth asking. From another perpective women and men talk about their weight...
Title: Re: Androgynes and their weight
Post by: Kinkly on September 12, 2008, 06:11:17 AM
for me weight isn't the issue its wear the fat is that is a problem I want some fat on my butt I HATE my bony bum if 1/2 my belly moved I'd be happier even though I'd still have a gut all of it move would b gr8  8)
Title: Re: Androgynes and their weight
Post by: Lukas-H on September 13, 2008, 10:59:50 AM
I'm about five feet and three inches tall and last I weighed myself I'm about 115 lbs I think. I have a hard time gaining but I don't know if my weight is healthy for my height and build.

I like being small cause like Gnawty said, we can fit into small spaces other people couldn't and we're (sometimes) quicker. I'd love to put on a little more weight though, just...not in the 'female' places. I don't need more weight in my butt and around that area, lol. I want to build some muscle mass and I wish I could get rid of a bit of my belly sometimes. It's not that I actually have like a beer belly or anything, it just kinda sticks out. I feel too curvaceous at times :(

But otherwise I'm happy with my weight if I don't think about the number. I look healthy and generally feel healthy though I could stand to exercise more and eat a little healthier but everyone has their problems. :D
Title: Re: Androgynes and their weight
Post by: Shion on September 23, 2008, 03:13:06 AM
To me the physical part is important as well. So weight is always an issue with me. I have skinny enough arms and legs, but my chest makes me definitely female. I've had people who look at my face at first and think that I'm a guy, until they look down and notice my chest... Since I'd rather not present a very specific gender identity, I hope my chest will go away once I start to lose some weight.
Title: Re: Androgynes and their weight
Post by: Caracal on October 14, 2008, 12:22:17 AM
I'm 123 pounds, 5'7". So somewhat thin. Unfortunately, I'm surprisingly curvy... I do swim, though, so at least I've got a good set of shoulders, which (mostly) offsets my hips.
Title: Re: Androgynes and their weight
Post by: Sunako on October 25, 2008, 12:12:05 PM
Weight effects shape, for me, when I gain weight it increases my "womanly curves" which are the opposite of what I want. Trying to be unrecognisable to either gender is kinda hard when you have childbaring hips, a dead giveaway of gender  :P
Title: Re: Androgynes and their weight
Post by: 6thsomatic on October 26, 2008, 10:22:52 PM
I've put on weight since starting a my new job a few months ago.

I don't like it XD
Title: Re: Androgynes and their weight
Post by: Pica Pica on November 01, 2008, 07:56:24 PM
Just got some definitive stats.

I am 5ft7.7 and I weigh 224.8 pounds... apparently I am 33% fat, I know cakes with lower fat percentages. Many cakes.

Posted on: November 01, 2008, 07:52:46 pm
Very many.

Posted on: November 01, 2008, 07:53:30 pm
Quote from: Rebis on September 03, 2008, 03:06:52 PM
by the way, 5 feet, 10 inches is 8 inches taller than Pica,

turns out you are only 2 and a smidgeon taller...but a lot skinnier.
Title: Re: Androgynes and their weight
Post by: Nero on November 01, 2008, 07:56:34 PM
 :o
Title: Re: Androgynes and their weight
Post by: Lokaeign on November 04, 2008, 07:35:39 PM
My weight is a huge issue for me.  I have a very conventionally female pattern of fat distribution; I didn't look the way I wanted to look even when I was skinny, but the more overweight I get the more pronounced the femininity of my body becomes.  It's easy to say that gender is entirely internal and fat shouldn't matter, but when you can't even begin to bind your top and you've got a bum the size of a Routemaster bus it stops being about the number on the scale. There's also the fact that more fat = more oestragen, and so on.

Oh yeah, and before anyone succumbs to the temptation to tell me to just man up and lose the weight--I've dropped 3 clothing sizes since June.  It hasn't helped.
Title: Re: Androgynes and their weight
Post by: Nicky on November 04, 2008, 07:56:04 PM
Quote from: Lokaeign on November 04, 2008, 07:35:39 PM
My weight is a huge issue for me.  I have a very conventionally female pattern of fat distribution; I didn't look the way I wanted to look even when I was skinny, but the more overweight I get the more pronounced the femininity of my body becomes.  It's easy to say that gender is entirely internal and fat shouldn't matter, but when you can't even begin to bind your top and you've got a bum the size of a Routemaster bus it stops being about the number on the scale. There's also the fact that more fat = more oestragen, and so on.

Oh yeah, and before anyone succumbs to the temptation to tell me to just man up and lose the weight--I've dropped 3 clothing sizes since June.  It hasn't helped.

I guess weight is just one piece of the puzzle. It is one thing to be overweight, but another to have gender identity related body dyphoria on top of that. Weight probably becomes much more of a burden. Losing weight might not get rid of the dysphoria but perhaps in the long run it will make things easier?

How does more fat=more estorgen? I would love to learn more.
Title: Re: Androgynes and their weight
Post by: Nero on November 04, 2008, 08:01:08 PM
Quote from: Nicky on November 04, 2008, 07:56:04 PM
Quote from: Lokaeign on November 04, 2008, 07:35:39 PM
My weight is a huge issue for me.  I have a very conventionally female pattern of fat distribution; I didn't look the way I wanted to look even when I was skinny, but the more overweight I get the more pronounced the femininity of my body becomes.  It's easy to say that gender is entirely internal and fat shouldn't matter, but when you can't even begin to bind your top and you've got a bum the size of a Routemaster bus it stops being about the number on the scale. There's also the fact that more fat = more oestragen, and so on.

Oh yeah, and before anyone succumbs to the temptation to tell me to just man up and lose the weight--I've dropped 3 clothing sizes since June.  It hasn't helped.

I guess weight is just one piece of the puzzle. It is one thing to be overweight, but another to have gender identity related body dyphoria on top of that. Weight probably becomes much more of a burden. Losing weight might not get rid of the dysphoria but perhaps in the long run it will make things easier?

How does more fat=more estorgen? I would love to learn more.


you make a good point. because weight distribution is very gendered in some people, it could increase dysphoria like if a male bodied andro got a huge beer gut or a female bodied, a huge behind.

Title: Re: Androgynes and their weight
Post by: Lokaeign on November 05, 2008, 10:46:28 AM
Quote from: Nicky on November 04, 2008, 07:56:04 PM

How does more fat=more estorgen? I would love to learn more.


(Not a doctor, this is just what I've learned from reading about nutrition)

Fat--whether you're eating it or carrying it around as adipose cells, has an enzyme that converts adrenal steroids into oestragen.  More oestragen means more fat being laid down on the body so it's a vicious circle.
Title: Re: Androgynes and their weight
Post by: CryoMax on November 06, 2008, 03:37:00 PM
Quote from: Nero on November 04, 2008, 08:01:08 PM
you make a good point. because weight distribution is very gendered in some people, it could increase dysphoria like if a male bodied andro got a huge beer gut or a female bodied, a huge behind.

That's my current problem, for sure.  If I could take my Buddha belly and transfer it to my hips/butt, I'd actually be pretty happy.  Having a big butt isn't great, but at least it's more feminine than a beer gut and a flat pooper.  :)  Alas, that won't happen, so I guess I need to get off my duff and get back to that gym thing...  Shame my new job has been keeping me so enthralled.  :P

...Paul

Title: Re: Androgynes and their weight
Post by: Constance on November 06, 2008, 04:01:12 PM
Quote from: CryoMax on November 06, 2008, 03:37:00 PM
If I could take my Buddha belly and transfer it to my hips/butt, I'd actually be pretty happy. 
I once saw a shirt that said, "I have the body of a god. Unfortunately, it's the Buddha."
Title: Re: Androgynes and their weight
Post by: 6thsomatic on November 07, 2008, 12:24:40 PM
Quote from: Nicky on November 04, 2008, 07:56:04 PM

How does more fat=more estorgen? I would love to learn more.


Me too. It would go to explain my bubble bum XD
Title: Re: Androgynes and their weight
Post by: ImKim on November 08, 2008, 05:04:51 PM
I would indeed love to be skinny'er, as i feel like a thinner type of person inside, luckily i've got small breasts and are generally muscular, even if i never do any kind of sports. Kinda ironic.

It's just i'm very curvy, so being thinner would reduce that part.
Title: Re: Androgynes and their weight
Post by: je on November 08, 2008, 06:52:29 PM
I don't think I need to be any thinner or fatter. I'm already in the healthy range for my height of 5' 9". I've heard that extra weight just exaggerates where the fat is placed. According to my chest, waist, and hip measurements, I'm a pear shaped person. I think that means that my body tends to store fat in the butt, hips, and thighs first -- which doesn't bother me in the least.




Title: Re: Androgynes and their weight
Post by: Bethany W on December 03, 2008, 10:32:44 PM
I was blessed with a very female seeming body for a male. I only weigh about 112 lbs, Ive got a tiny frame, am about 5'5 and somehow fat distributes on my chest, buns and thighs.
Title: Re: Androgynes and their weight
Post by: Kaelin on December 03, 2008, 10:51:19 PM
6' 1", 163 pounds...
Title: Re: Androgynes and their weight
Post by: Pariah on December 04, 2008, 03:09:50 AM
6' 1", maybe a little less, 145 lbs.

Oh, the humanity! ::)  :P