So I went in for my first meeting with my counselor today. It went very well. He was already seeing me as a guy the first day. I almost laughed when he was talking about "when I was a little boy". lol And he even asked me what I prefered to be called. So he won't call me by my girl name. I go in to see him again next Wednesday. He want me to have things I want to talk about then. I can think of things now, I just hope I'll be able to talk then.
Man it is a GREAT feeling when you find the right person to help you. My therapist did the exact same thing, she asked which name I prefer to go by, and calls me by my boy name. I don't even have to prove anything to her during our sessions, she's always "of course you felt that way growing up, you're not a girl!" and " :) different is not a bad thing." I love that second comment she always makes, cause it goes with my whole "Normal is Overrated" philosophy.
Congrats Adam!!!! May you continue to enjoy each others company and get what you need from your counselor :)
Lucky! You get to see him every week so far (only about a week between visits).
That's amazing! Congrats. Hope it keeps going that well. :eusa_clap:
congrats bro :icon_joy:
Great news, Adam. I'm glad it's working out!
i sish my therapist wouldnt force the old name and female pronouns. :( sounds like yours is a winner for sure!
Quote from: Chet on September 16, 2008, 11:51:21 AM
i sish my therapist wouldnt force the old name and female pronouns. :( sounds like yours is a winner for sure!
What? Yours calls you Female Name and she?! WTF?? That is the hallmark of a bad gender therapist, that!! Not respecting your choice of name/pronouns. Tell her to watch this:
Seriously!!
Jay (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3fb8zGf59x0%5B/url)
Quote from: sneakersjay on September 16, 2008, 11:58:48 AM
Quote from: Chet on September 16, 2008, 11:51:21 AM
i sish my therapist wouldnt force the old name and female pronouns. :( sounds like yours is a winner for sure!
What? Yours calls you Female Name and she?! WTF?? That is the hallmark of a bad gender therapist, that!! Not respecting your choice of name/pronouns.
shes just a regular therapist. not even the cool gender kind. >_<
She should still respect your choice of name/pronoun esp. if she wants you to respect/trust her. Send her that link. It's a must for anyone wanting to help transgendered individuals. It's kinda long and basic for you and me, but apparently stuff isn't obvious to the rest of the world, including therapists and social workers.
Jay
Chet, have you expressed to her what you'd like to be called? If not, do it. If she still doesn't respect your wishes, I'd tell her to fook off and get a new one.
Congrats, man!!!
Quote from: Chet on September 16, 2008, 12:09:02 PM
Quote from: sneakersjay on September 16, 2008, 11:58:48 AM
Quote from: Chet on September 16, 2008, 11:51:21 AM
i sish my therapist wouldnt force the old name and female pronouns. :( sounds like yours is a winner for sure!
What? Yours calls you Female Name and she?! WTF?? That is the hallmark of a bad gender therapist, that!! Not respecting your choice of name/pronouns.
shes just a regular therapist. not even the cool gender kind. >_<
My last therapist was a regular therapist too. After I came out to her and she continued to do that she stuff I was in the "WTF" sentiment like Jay. Regular therapists just don't get it, but they should at least try to respect you like Jay said :-\
I fired my regular therapist. Not for calling me by female pronouns, but because she said she was willing to learn and help me, then refused to call the numbers I gave her for people who could give her the info she needed to help me. And I had been seeing her for 3 years prior for non-trans related stuff and we had a good rapport. Sorry, but I'm paying you $100/hr for you to help me; it's not MY job to educate you so that you can help me. If I dump resources in your lap, use them!!
Grr.
Anyway, I left because after coming out to her, the 3rd session she basically told me NOT to transition, that I'd lose everything (kids, job, family, friends, etc) and it would be horrible.
I'm terrible, but when I'm fully passing as male and have facial hair (so years likely, LOL) I'm making an appt with that therapist to tell her that transitioning was NOT the horrible thing she imagined it would be. ;D
Jay
Well I had my second session today. It went very well. We mostly talked about hormone therapy and how I should tell my parents. He suggested I write a letter for them to read so I'm not stuck trying to find the words when I tell them. I should probaly get that started sometime soon.
I told my parents face to face so I cant imagine how hard it would be in a letter.. I would probably go through tons of drafts and probably wouldn't be able to choose which one to send. I live in the same house so it would be hard come out in a letter.
Its great that you had a fantastic experiance. I remember my first appointment I was SO excited I really was!! Even after too!
If you cant think of anything at the time then start to write down questions and things you want to talk about with him!
Congrats though!
Good for you, Adam.
By the way, if you DO find yourself without much to talk about, that could be a sign of how well adjusted you are.
(For my part, I wonder if I'll EVER run out of stuff to talk about...)
Quote from: sneakersjay on September 16, 2008, 01:58:50 PM
I fired my regular therapist. Not for calling me by female pronouns, but because she said she was willing to learn and help me, then refused to call the numbers I gave her for people who could give her the info she needed to help me. And I had been seeing her for 3 years prior for non-trans related stuff and we had a good rapport. Sorry, but I'm paying you $100/hr for you to help me; it's not MY job to educate you so that you can help me. If I dump resources in your lap, use them!!
Grr.
Anyway, I left because after coming out to her, the 3rd session she basically told me NOT to transition, that I'd lose everything (kids, job, family, friends, etc) and it would be horrible.
I'm terrible, but when I'm fully passing as male and have facial hair (so years likely, LOL) I'm making an appt with that therapist to tell her that transitioning was NOT the horrible thing she imagined it would be. ;D
Jay
*CRACKS UP* High Five, man.
congrats buddy! i envy you. lets hope it all stays good, knock on wood.
*knocks wood*
QuoteAnyway, I left because after coming out to her, the 3rd session she basically told me NOT to transition, that I'd lose everything (kids, job, family, friends, etc) and it would be horrible.
I'm terrible, but when I'm fully passing as male and have facial hair (so years likely, LOL) I'm making an appt with that therapist to tell her that transitioning was NOT the horrible thing she imagined it would be.
Cant believe she said that, she is a professional she shouldn't have said that at all! Jay do
not forget to do this!
i remember my first counsoler
she basically diagnosed me
and i was talkin to her about how i was into football and i wished i could just be one of the guys and be on the football team and her response was that id be too small for that anyways
and too keep being trans to myself because no one would understand
sure a lot of ppl dont understand or like it and some act neg. but if u just act like its not there itll kill u inside
am i right?
counsolers are there for advice and support but dont allow them to decide what you end up doing
some of them just werent ment for the job
Quote from: Jasonk16 on September 27, 2008, 11:34:44 AM
i remember my first counsoler
she basically diagnosed me
and i was talkin to her about how i was into football and i wished i could just be one of the guys and be on the football team and her response was that id be too small for that anyways
and too keep being trans to myself because no one would understand
Wow, that was crappy advice.
Quote from: Jasonk16 on September 27, 2008, 11:34:44 AM
sure a lot of ppl dont understand or like it and some act neg. but if u just act like its not there itll kill u inside
am i right?
For some of us, yes. I know it's true for me.
Quote from: Jasonk16 on September 27, 2008, 11:34:44 AM
counsolers are there for advice and support but dont allow them to decide what you end up doing
some of them just werent ment for the job
counselors are not supposed to tell you what to do. They are supposed to let you find your answers but help you come to said answers. Sadly, abuse of authority is very common in this culture.