Have you been asked any of these stupid questions?From: [Samuel Hannard's FtM Transsexual Website (http://www.geocities.com/equal_of_heaven/questions.html)]Post your answers!
- THE "IF YOU'RE A MAN...." QUESTIONS
- Q1: If you have always thought of yourself as male, then why did you date men?
- Elwood's Answer: I have a couple reasons for this one. First, I was attracted to boys at the time. Second, I feel strongly that I tried to vicariously live through boys--that they provided the masculinity that I felt I needed in my life. To add, I did not always think I was a boy. Not every transman always identified as male.
- Q2: If you have always thought of yourself as male, then why did you have children?
- Elwood's Answer: This question doesn't apply to me, but I'll tell you why, if I was older and had children, I did (hypothetically speaking, of course). It's very simple; I want a child. I want a family. Right now I see myself someday adopting a child, because I still want one even though I'm currently not willing to become pregnant.
- Q3: If you were a man then why did you wear dresses sometimes?
- Elwood's Answer: Because as a child I was assigned the female role. When I was younger, I identified as androgynous, and posed no opposition to dresses (besides the fact that sometimes they were cold and sometimes they were not easy to play in). I wore skirts as late into when I was 16, after I had started identifying as male. I was still "known" as a girl. I often tried to fight my identity; I don't want to be a "freak." But I also wore skirts because I liked them. Post-transition I can imagine myself being a drag queen once in a while.
- GROUP 2: THE "WHY CAN'T YOU JUST..." QUESTIONS
- Q1: Why can't you just accept yourself the way you are?
- Elwood's Answer: I have. I've accepted that my feelings of "wanting to be a man," will not go away, and that I need to address those feelings appropriately. Doctors have told me that I cannot make the feelings go away, and thus, in order to function happily and efficiently, I must transition.
- Q2: Why can't you compromise and just wear men's clothes?
- Elwood's Answer: I do wear men's clothes, and have been for over a year. It hasn't helped my feelings about my anatomy or my place in this world. I appear as a young boy from the outside, but I cannot be intimate with anyone without being found out. I also don't look anywhere near my age because what a girl looks like is a boy before his male puberty. I, like any man, have a birthright to go through puberty, and become a man instead of always being a little boy.
- Q3: Why can't you just live as a woman until your kids grow up/your parents die?
- Elwood's Answer: That's a horrible thing to say. I will not base my life decision's upon someone's death. Never again. I did that with my grandfather, you know. He molested me, and I told myself I wouldn't tell anyone until he was dead. I realized the wait was too long, and I told my mother the same day that I came out that her father had sexually abused me. She got a double-whammy that day, "I have a son and my father sexually abused him." Unfortunately, she refused to accept either, and doesn't really believe me because I waited this long to tell her. That's what happens when you wait for sh*t. You loose your chance, and you don't get second chances. I will not live my life as a lie anymore. I already have for 18 years and it's not working.
- Q4: Why can't you just be androgynous?
- Elwood's Answer: I was as a young child. But I "grew out of it." My male identity showed through. The fact is, to be androgynous in body would still require surgeries, and in my mind, I am a very androgynous/balanced person when it comes to "gender traits." I do not identify as an androgyne, and keeping my girl parts, at least in my view, would not make me an androgyne anyway. Your question is meaningless to me because it implies that women are androgynes.
- GROUP 3: THE "WHAT HAVE YOU GOT?" QUESTIONS
- Q1: Do you have a penis?
- Elwood's Answer: Do you? Isn't that a fairly rude and personal question? You sick freak. To answer your question, no, I do not have a penis. I am one of the transmen who will not call his clitoris a "miniature penis." Maybe when it enlarges due to testosterone I might call it a penis. I really won't know until that happens. But no, sir and/or madam, I will never have a "real" penis. And you know what? If it looks like a penis, walks like a penis, and talks like a penis... it's good enough for me.
- Q2: Do you have breasts?
- Elwood's Answer: Again, you might wish to use tact when you speak to people. To answer your question, yes. Everyone has breasts, they just vary in size. Women have more pronounced breasts. I'm sure you're wondering if I have female breasts, and yes, sir and/or madam, everything about my body is currently 100% female. I do have breasts, they're not very large, but I would still like to have them removed.
- Q3: Are you stronger than average women?
- Elwood's Answer: Absolutely not. I am weaker than the average woman, and weaker than a lot of children. My body is small, my bones are thin. It's unfortunate genetics. My small size does not hurt my self-esteem a lot, but I would like to be just a little bit stronger so I won't need people to help me with everyday things.
GROUP 4: THE "HOW CAN YOU..." QUESTIONS
- Q1: How can you be a male feminist?
- Elwood's Answer: Feminism is defined by, "the belief that men and women should have equal rights." I would hope that every human being in their right mind is a feminist.
- Q2: How can you know you're doing the right thing?
- Elwood's Answer: I don't. But you know what? I've been questioning this for about 10 years... I can say that's a pretty decent amount of time to be having these thoughts. I have medical professionals giving me the okay to transition. So I said, "Hell, what have I got to loose?" And that was the golden question with a golden answer. I haven't got a thing to loose.
- Q3: How can you be so selfish?
- Elwood's Answer: I don't believe this is very selfish. I do admit I have made some very selfish decisions to get here, but the act of transitioning, I do not feel, is anymore selfish than eating food or sleeping. I feel like I am taking care of my personal well being.
- Q3: How can you have sex?
- Elwood's Answer: Currently, I can't. Vaginal sex is not an option. I have experimented with anal penetration, and I quite liked it... however, I am still very tight down there. Also, the idea of a man's penis in my ass really bothers me, because I would greatly envy his anatomy. I don't think I could have sex with a man and enjoy it as long as I don't have a penis.
- THE "IF YOU'RE A MAN...." QUESTIONS
- Q1: If you have always thought of yourself as male, then why did you date men?
- I didn't date men.
- Q2: If you have always thought of yourself as male, then why did you have children?
- I didn't have children.
- Q3: If you were a man then why did you wear dresses sometimes?
- Because I'd get yelled at if I refused. Because I'd be forced to wear pantsuits if not a dress, and I would rather look like a hot girl than an ugly guy.
- GROUP 2: THE "WHY CAN'T YOU JUST..." QUESTIONS
- Q1: Why can't you just accept yourself the way you are?
- I have.
- Q2: Why can't you compromise and just wear men's clothes?
- I do. Boobs are well, a pain in the boobs. Literally. Ever tried binding?
- Q3: Why can't you just live as a woman until your kids grow up/your parents die?
- Because I can't wait to go clubbing as a hot guy, have all the chicas check me out, that sort of thing. Why change into a guy when I'm old and wrinkly? What a waste of good times.
- Q4: Why can't you just be androgynous?
- I still wanted top surgery when I thought of myself as an androgyne. So there's no big difference.
- GROUP 3: THE "WHAT HAVE YOU GOT?" QUESTIONS
- Q1: Do you have a penis?
- The boobs are real.
- Q2: Do you have breasts?
- The boobs are real.
- Q3: Are you stronger than average women?
- Yes, quite so.
GROUP 4: THE "HOW CAN YOU..." QUESTIONS
- Q1: How can you be a male feminist?
- These days, everyone is a feminist. The idea of shunning women to the kitchen is laughable.
- Q2: How can you know you're doing the right thing?
- Because for once in my life, I know what I want. I have dreams of being a guy, I often forget I am a "girl," and those times make me the happiest.
- Q3: How can you be so selfish?
- I don't really see how this affects anyone other than myself. It's my boobs that I want to cut off, not yours.
- Q3: How can you have sex?
- I think touching the binded chest will either take a LOT of getting used to, or being post-op. I am comfortable with the southern regions, so there is no problem with that.
- THE "IF YOU'RE A MAN...." QUESTIONS
- Q1: If you have always thought of yourself as male, then why did you date men?
- I didn't, but I did have crushes on them. Have you heard of gay men before, by any chance? No really, we do exist.
- Q2: If you have always thought of yourself as male, then why did you have children?
- I didn't, and I'm not going to, but if I wanted them I would have them. That has absolutely nothing to do with gender to me.
- Q3: If you were a man then why did you wear dresses sometimes?
- Because I liked them. Yes, there are men who like dresses. -shock horror gasp-
- GROUP 2: THE "WHY CAN'T YOU JUST..." QUESTIONS
- Q1: Why can't you just accept yourself the way you are?
- I have. Other people have made a bloody good job of trying to convince me I'm someone I'm not.
- Q2: Why can't you compromise and just wear men's clothes?
- I've been wearing men's clothing for years. It doesn't make me look male, it doesn't make my body male. It's not about the clothes, it's about feeling comortable in my own body, to actually feel that it is my body.
- Q3: Why can't you just live as a woman until your kids grow up/your parents die?
- Because I'm not a woman and I can't keep pretending I am. Hopefully they'd prefer actually knowing the real me, not what I "should" be because of what my birth certificate says.
- Q4: Why can't you just be androgynous?
- I am pretty androgynous, at least when it comes to gender traits. Doesn't mean I don't still need a male body.
- GROUP 3: THE "WHAT HAVE YOU GOT?" QUESTIONS
- Q1: Do you have a penis?
- None of your business.
- Q2: Do you have breasts?
- See above.
- Q3: Are you stronger than average women?
- Probably a bit. Why?
GROUP 4: THE "HOW CAN YOU..." QUESTIONS
- Q1: How can you be a male feminist?
- Why not? Believing that women and men are equal is not limited to women.
- Q2: How can you know you're doing the right thing?
- Well, how can you really be sure anything is right? I just know this is something I have to do. There isn't anything I've been so sure of in my life.
- Q3: How can you be so selfish?
- I don't think this is selfish, or at least no more so than anything else people need to do to be happy. It doesn't even hurt anyone else. It's my body, not yours. And I think I'd be a lot more fun to be around if I could actually be myself, not having to live a lie, to feel so wrong.
- Q3: How can you have sex?
- Good question. I don't understand how people can do that either.
Have you been asked any of these stupid questions?
From: [Samuel Hannard's FtM Transsexual Website]
Post your answers!
* THE "IF YOU'RE A MAN...." QUESTIONS
o Q1: If you have always thought of yourself as male, then why did you date men?
o I have always, even in my younger years when identifying as female, been into men. I am attracted to them both mentally and physically. Changing my own body does not affect or change this. The only change is that I am no longer straight, but homosexual.
o Q2: If you have always thought of yourself as male, then why did you have children?
o I didn't, I don't even like children lol. But When an FTM has a child either before, or even after identifying as male, it can be for a grand multitude of reasons. They could want children and a family, could have screwed up and got knocked up, who knows. At any rate they have a kid, what's it matter? That doesn't mean they are in a phase or not knowing what they're talking about.
o Q3: If you were a man then why did you wear dresses sometimes?
o Because once upon a time I was a girl. I had a girl's name, a girl's face, and a nasty little female body. This did not last long outside my young childhood. Even when I was slightly older and still thought I was rather jolly being female, I resented doing female things such as wearing makeup, doing my hair, or wearing skirts and dresses. They ick me. Always have, and odds are, they always will.
* GROUP 2: THE "WHY CAN'T YOU JUST..." QUESTIONS
o Q1: Why can't you just accept yourself the way you are?
o Because my affliction is an illness. It's a bacteria that has seeped into the core of my very brain and the only cure is to change. I may be crazy, normal, or just a little confused, but all I know is that becoming male is what fuels the fire to keep me alive. And even though I may deny it here and there, I really do like to be alive. I've accepted who I am and who I need to be in order to be happy, and I have come to terms with it.
o Q2: Why can't you compromise and just wear men's clothes?
o I do, they're all I own. But that is hardly enough. I don't want to spend an eternity tying my breasts down and standing in front of the mirror for an hour wondering if I pass well enough to go out. You can mistake a chipmunk for a squirrel, but that doesn't make it a squirrel. I'd like to not be mistaken for anything. I want to be a squirrel :3
o Q3: Why can't you just live as a woman until your kids grow up/your parents die?
o Because I was not born with a good strain of patience. I have to live my life for me. If you spend your entire life trying to make other people happy, you will never be. If I waited that long, I myself would be far too old to transition. I want to do it now and get it the frick over with as well ><
o Q4: Why can't you just be androgynous?
o because I practically am when I'm not passing and I don't like it. Worse than being female is being trapped in that god forsaken limbo where you are almost there but just aren't enough to be what you are trying to be. It's an awful, degrading feeling (and not the hot kind of degrading either ;p) for me.
* GROUP 3: THE "WHAT HAVE YOU GOT?" QUESTIONS
o Q1: Do you have a penis?
o Not as of the moment. I don't even have a fake penis. But hey one of these days when i have 20K lying around I'll get one of those bad boys slapped on so don't you worry.
o Q2: Do you have breasts?
o Yep, they are kinda weird from binding and have bruises beside them, but they are chesticles for sure! But alas, despite our long lives together and short lived friendship, I'm getting them sucked on out. Again another matter of time. My coin jar will reach 5K one of these days lol.
o Q3: Are you stronger than average women?
o Depends. I used to work out a little and I can pin my sister when wrestling but for the most part no. My step mom could pick my up and toss me like a dishrag. I weigh like, ten pounds wet so hey I don't really have physical size on my side. One of these days I'll start working out again though and I will be.
GROUP 4: THE "HOW CAN YOU..." QUESTIONS
o Q1: How can you be a male feminist?
o *puts face in hand and laughs*
o Q2: How can you know you're doing the right thing?
o Because when I ride my bike next to a building with reflective windows and see not myself passing by but James-Allen himself, I just know. There is a serenity that comes with a sight like that.
o Q3: How can you be so selfish?
o Hmmm, I want to go through a lot of pain, spend a lot of hard earned money and some I even don't have, take pills and shots that will eventually damage my liver, risk death, discrimination, and hatred just to feel comfortable when I get up in the morning. Awful selfish of me. And still you don't accept me, who's selfish now?
o Q3: How can you have sex?
o You tell me babe, how do you like it? I can have it THAT way.
THE "IF YOU'RE A MAN...." QUESTIONS
Q1: If you have always thought of yourself as male, then why did you date men?
I have always been attracted to men the problem for me was always with gender identity not with sexual identity. However I never enjoyed traditional "str8 sex". Now I know why. Instead of being a str8 woman I am a gay man.
Q2: If you have always thought of yourself as male, then why did you have children?
I never have and although I could never bring myself to physiclaly bear a child there are many other options, surrogacy, adoption etc.... I would certainly consider becoming a parent in the future.
Q3: If you were a man then why did you wear dresses sometimes?
As a child naturally it was expected of me to live up to the stereotypical expectations of my so called gender which was assumed by my parents to be female. Although these assumptions were incorrect I didn't really have much choice in the matter.
GROUP 2: THE "WHY CAN'T YOU JUST..." QUESTIONS
Q1: Why can't you just accept yourself the way you are?
I have totally accepted 100% the fact that I am a man and always will be. It is only natural to accept yourself for who you are after all.
Q2: Why can't you compromise and just wear men's clothes?
I do wear mens clothes however I won't be completely satisfied until what I see a my medical condition has been corrected by hormone therapy and surgery. To me it's like asking a diabetic to go without their insulin shots. I need to do this as much as I need to breathe in and out.
Q3: Why can't you just live as a woman until your kids grow up/your parents die?
What a shocking proposition. To suppose someone should live a lie, hide who they are to the people who are supposed to care about them the most just for the sake of what is lets face it keeping up appearances. I have to be honest I haven't come out to my parents yet, although I have kind of tried (it wasn't taken well by my mum or seriously by my dad but that's a whole another story) but when I do come out to them and I'm probably gonna have to at some point lets face it if they don't like it they are just gonna have to suck it up. It's my life and I have to live it after all.
Q4: Why can't you just be androgynous?
Simply because I'm not adrogyne. I'm a guy. Although being seen as adrogyne or embodying adrogyne characteristics is definately better than being seen as a woman it isn't who I am. I am 100% male. Period.
Q1: Do you have a penis?
I fail to see how that is revelant when it comes to the question of whether I am a man or not. Even some bio males don't have penises for whatever reason. It's seen as a medical condition which is exactly what I have.
Q2: Do you have breasts?
Everyone does. But because I have an incorrect ratio of estrogen to testosterone in body my breast tissue is more developed than the average bio male. Like any medical condition this needs to be corrected. And it will be, hopefully soon.
Q3: Are you stronger than average women?
Why is this revelant. Probably. I don't know. I don't really care. Strength is certainly not a gender marker. There are plenty of weak men and plenty of strong women in the world that's for sure.
GROUP 4: THE "HOW CAN YOU..." QUESTIONS
Q1: How can you be a male feminist?
Any one can be a feminist. It is not gender specific. I don't even know if I would describe myself as a male feminist. I just know I have a general sense for fairness and equality across the board and can't abide outmoded and outdated sexual stereotyping. It's kind of retarded and incredibly naive.
Q2: How can you know you're doing the right thing?
Because it's not a want it's a need. And I so would not be putting myself through this and all the ->-bleeped-<- that comes with it if I were not very, very genuinely convinced that this is what I NEED to do.
Q3: How can you be so selfish?
Errr. Is having to take insulin every day considered selfish? I don't think so. Enough said.
Q3: How can you have sex?
Oh now there are plenty of ways to have sex. Whether you are gay, str8, trans, able bodied or disabled. Those ways don't necessarily have to involve the genitalia you were born with. I happen to have sex with my partner on a regular basis. And I enjoy it very much. And no it never involves vaginal penetration. The very thought is enough to bring me out in hives. (Shudders.)
THE "IF YOU'RE A MAN...." QUESTIONS
Q1: If you have always thought of yourself as male, then why did you date men?
Uh... it IS possible to be bisexual.
Q2: If you have always thought of yourself as male, then why did you have children?
Doesn't apply to me, but if I could handle the whole pregnancy thing, I'd be glad to have my own children. As it is, I'll probably adopt or have kids via a surrogate. Since when are men not supposed to like kids?
Q3: If you were a man then why did you wear dresses sometimes?
Last time I wore a skirt, I was 19, and I did it pretty much for shock value. Prior to that, except on special occasions on which I was required to wear a skirt or dress because that's what "girls" were supposed to wear, I hadn't worn a dress or skirt willingly since about 8. I did for homecoming and prom in high school, but hey... what "girl" doesn't? Last thing I needed was to be seen as some freak who thought "she" was a "he". Strangely, it's not that acceptable, or it wasn't in the mid-late nineties.
GROUP 2: THE "WHY CAN'T YOU JUST..." QUESTIONS
Q1: Why can't you just accept yourself the way you are?
That's a loaded question. The way I am is a man, so I do accept myself. If it's meant to imply why can't I accept the outside, it's incongruent with the inside. I have accepted as much about my natural physical body as I can; I'm not planning bottom surgery because what I have works fine, and I didn't intend to have top surgery... but then I started to realize how bad binding really is. Everyone modifies his or her body in some way throughout life, whether it be a transperson having some surgery or a celebrity having a rhinoplasty or some old housewife injecting Botox.
Q2: Why can't you compromise and just wear men's clothes?
My mom asked me that when I first came out to her. I had been wearing boys'/men's clothing since age 15, and by the time I came out to her, at 24, it just wasn't cutting it. My face had begun to feminize more than it ever had before, and regardless of how I cut my hair or wore my clothes, people saw me as female, usually as a lesbian, which I am not. Clothes don't make the man, or the woman.
Q3: Why can't you just live as a woman until your kids grow up/your parents die?
I live for myself, not other people.
Q4: Why can't you just be androgynous?
I tried that, but again, everyone just saw me as female. The world does not see "neither" when it comes to sex and gender.
GROUP 3: THE "WHAT HAVE YOU GOT?" QUESTIONS
Q1: Do you have a penis?
Nope. Big deal. People wear clothes, last I checked, and I don't look around at others in public thinking, "That one has a penis! That one has a vagina!" I just see people. I'm just a person. Who cares what's in my pants?
Q2: Do you have breasts?
Yup. Doesn't everyone?
Q3: Are you stronger than average women?
I tend to be, but that's partially attributed to the testosterone, and partially attributed to my ambition to weight train. Stronger physically, anyway. However, as per emotionality, I think most women are far stronger than men. They have to be.
GROUP 4: THE "HOW CAN YOU..." QUESTIONS
Q1: How can you be a male feminist?
I admire women in every way. I honestly see no difference between men and women, psychologically. However, I believe women have been given the shaft, what with all the oppression over the years... and they deserve the utmost respect. I'm not a feminist. I'm into equality.
Q2: How can you know you're doing the right thing?
Because I've never had any doubt.
Q3: How can you be so selfish?
Because it's my life, and I think I have the right to do what I need to do to make myself happy. Anywho, it's not hurting anyone else!
Q3: How can you have sex?
Easily. How can anyone have sex? Sex is awkward and messy and utterly hilarious. I didn't have sex for 24 years of my life, and now, I do... it doesn't make a huge difference. Having someone I love, who loves me, is much more important and impactful. Who cares how we have sex? We do, and it's good.
- THE "IF YOU'RE A MAN...." QUESTIONS
- Q1: If you have always thought of yourself as male, then why did you date men?
- Osiris' Answer: I like men. kthnx
- Q2: If you have always thought of yourself as male, then why did you have children?
- Osiris' Answer: I didn't, and if I did it would be because I'd really want them and have no other alternative.
- Q3: If you were a man then why did you wear dresses sometimes?
- Osiris' Answer: I was dressed in them and I didn't agree peacefully.
- GROUP 2: THE "WHY CAN'T YOU JUST..." QUESTIONS
- Q1: Why can't you just accept yourself the way you are?
- Osiris' Answer: As Dan said, I have. The better question is why others may not accept me.
- Q2: Why can't you compromise and just wear men's clothes?
- Osiris' Answer: Why should I have to compromise?
- Q3: Why can't you just live as a woman until your kids grow up/your parents die?
- Osiris' Answer: I'd actually considered this, but as explained by others, it wouldn't be fair to myself or anyone else. It's not right to have to wait to start my life after others have reached a certain point in their's. Besides, it'd make it more difficult on everyone involved.
- Q4: Why can't you just be androgynous?
- Osiris' Answer: And continue lying to others and myself? I simply want to be me, if I were androgynous it'd work but I'm not. Case closed.
- GROUP 3: THE "WHAT HAVE YOU GOT?" QUESTIONS
- Q1: Do you have a penis?
- Osiris' Answer: I consider the clitoris to be the "seed' for a penis, as it will grow and work as a penis (with the help of surgery). It's not perfect, but it's what I have. And I find it comforting to think of it as such.
- Q2: Do you have breasts?
- Osiris' Answer: Yes, that would be the huge lumps hanging off my chest. I'm intending to show them off more once they've been greatly reduced in size. ;)
- Q3: Are you stronger than average women?
- Osiris' Answer: Doubt it. I tend to carry more and seem stronger, but I don't have more muscle due to T. So I think any woman would be able to do what I do if they were determined enough.
GROUP 4: THE "HOW CAN YOU..." QUESTIONS
- Q1: How can you be a male feminist?
- Osiris' Answer: I don't consider myself a feminist.
- Q2: How can you know you're doing the right thing?
- Osiris' Answer: Because I've been doing the wrong thing for far too long.
- Q3: How can you be so selfish?
- Osiris' Answer: Everyone has the right to be selfish from time to time. I think others are selfish for expecting people going through what we go through to delay or cancel their transition for "the sake of others."
- Q3: How can you have sex?
- Osiris' Answer: The sky's the limit when it comes to sex and ways to have it. I pick and choose my friend. Pick and choose. ;)
I don't have the time to answer all of them, but I do notice he missed a few ;)
I've gotten these before too
Q: What did you look like before?
Q: What was your name before? I HATE this one so much and I get it the most.
Q: Why can't you just be a lesbian?
Q: How do you know you only like women if you've never been in a relationship?
Q: How do you know what you like (in terms of sex) if you've never had it? You could like being touched down there.
Q: Are you going to get them [boobs] cut off?
THE "IF YOU'RE A MAN...." QUESTIONS
Q1: If you have always thought of yourself as male, then why did you date men?
First off, I didn't always think of myself as male. I was assigned a role according to my sex at birth, which made me think I really was a girl. As for dating men, well, I like them. I'm more comfortable with men than women.
Q2: If you have always thought of yourself as male, then why did you have children?
I didn't, and never planned to in my life; I always wanted to adopt, and still plan to.
Q3: If you were a man then why did you wear dresses sometimes?
Because I was dressed in them when I was young and I actually liked them when I was a teenager. What, is crossdressing a crime or something?
GROUP 2: THE "WHY CAN'T YOU JUST..." QUESTIONS
Q1: Why can't you just accept yourself the way you are?
I can't accept my body because it feels wrong and it makes me physically ill sometimes. I have accepted my mind.
Q2: Why can't you compromise and just wear men's clothes?
I've dressed in boy's clothes a lot; I always got my best friend's hand-me-downs, which I always liked better than the clothes my mom bought me. It didn't make me feel male, it made me feel like a girl trying to be a boy. Also, I would need the hormone treatments for my face and voice to be seen as male, which is a major concern for me; clothes just don't cut it.
Q3: Why can't you just live as a woman until your kids grow up/your parents die?
I'm biding my time, but I'm not planning my transition around anyone's death, you idiot. When the time is right, I will make the switch.
Q4: Why can't you just be androgynous?
I've been rather androgynous my whole life, but it doesn't make me feel male. It makes me feel like an in-between--a freak.
GROUP 3: THE "WHAT HAVE YOU GOT?" QUESTIONS
Q1: Do you have a penis?
Who the hell do you think you are, to ask me that? Why do YOU care what's in my pants, you pervert?
Q2: Do you have breasts?
I was born female, wasn't I? Do the math.
Q3: Are you stronger than average women?
Nope, I'm scrawny.
GROUP 4: THE "HOW CAN YOU..." QUESTIONS
Q1: How can you be a male feminist?
I've never considered myself a feminist; what makes you think everyone who's lived female is a feminist?
Q2: How can you know you're doing the right thing?
I can't.
Q3: How can you be so selfish?
I lived my entire life to please other people. I toed the line and didn't talk back and did my schoolwork. My family is, collectively, the most selfish group of people I've ever known; I am not being selfish. I am trying to be myself.
Q3: How can you have sex?
You pervert.
I think this survey is trying to get in my pants. O_o
THE "IF YOU'RE A MAN...." QUESTIONS
Q1: If you have always thought of yourself as male, then why did you date men?
I didn't
Q2: If you have always thought of yourself as male, then why did you have children?
I dont
Q3: If you were a man then why did you wear dresses sometimes?
I wore a dress when I was about 2 I couldn't dress myself could I?
GROUP 2: THE "WHY CAN'T YOU JUST..." QUESTIONS
Q1: Why can't you just accept yourself the way you are?
Because I am not happy
Q2: Why can't you compromise and just wear men's clothes?
Because I dont want to look like a 12 year old guy all the damn time.
Q3: Why can't you just live as a woman until your kids grow up/your parents die?
As I am sure that my parents would like to see me happy and grow up and forfill all of my dreams.
Q4: Why can't you just be androgynous?
Nope
GROUP 3: THE "WHAT HAVE YOU GOT?" QUESTIONS
Q1: Do you have a penis?
Think......? Yeah there is the answer
Q2: Do you have breasts?
No I have fat lumps...
Q3: Are you stronger than average women?
Yes now I am wasn't before though..
GROUP 4: THE "HOW CAN YOU..." QUESTIONS
Q1: How can you be a male feminist?
I am not but I believe both sexes should be equal.
Q2: How can you know you're doing the right thing?
I dont know..
Q3: How can you be so selfish?
I do whats right.
Q3: How can you have sex?
Want me to show you?
I am not a man of many words!
I've always thought that though there are lots and lots of stupid questions, stupid mistakes take the cake every time, so better to ask the question, then make the mistake - but that's just me I guess.
And, you never know why they wish to know that, they might have some reason that you're not seeing. Moreover, the answer is not always what you would, or might, expect.
I was talking to a class on the first day of classes and all, and asking around about 'what did you do during your summer vacation?' type stuff. One of the student told me that they had worked at Mackinac Island at the historic Fort Mackinac site. So we talked about that and she let go with a line that had the class in absolute gawfaws. She said her favorite part of the summer was being asked day in and day out "What time is the 1:00pm cannon firing?" Oh golly gosh the happy laughter of college students laughing at people who are not as smart as they were.
So I asked it it was a 12 lb. Napoleon cannon, if they talked about the foundry of origin, if they had the entire demo (complete with historical costume) showing how the cannon had to be cleaned and reamed, primed, loaded, stuffed with shot, then the fuse lit?
Oh yeah, yeah, I did some of those, it was great!
So, what time was the one o'clock cannon firing once you got done with the one/ten?*, I mean when the cannon actually fired, what time was it?
Oh, good, I live for the sheepish looks and the mumbled under-the-breath answer "One:Fifteen."
So, if your special pet, Mister Snuggles, was particularly afraid of things like gun shots and firecrackers, you sure wouldn't want old Mister Snuggles near that cannon thing when it went off would you? No, Mister Snuggles would crap the lawn if he were anywhere near that thing when it went off wouldn't he? You wouldn't get Mister Snuggles back to sleep for days after that little event. So it would be important to you to know that (and what works for Mister Snuggles also is good for small children - a 12lb Napoleon cannon goes off, well, like a cannon, you can clearly hear them miles away...- and grandma too, and for Uncle Tom who was in the war - perhaps, just perhaps, you might want to know the real time, and as we have discovered here, the one o'clock cannon firing was not at one o'clock, but at 1:15.
Besides, wasn't this thing run by the Federal Government?
Yes.
Well, if we know anything its that when the Federal Government says One O'Clock, its going to be at any, and every, other time than One O'Clock.
I know this is slightly off the topic but one of the stupidest questions I was asked after telling someone about my GD was from my mother. She was really upset and just blurted out "can't you just get a job working with abused animals or children, take your mind off it?" Erm... are the two mutually exclusive?
I was also asked by a (male) customer at work, whether I can choose the size of my p****s when I have lower surgery done.
but...
my favourite stupid question came from my sister. This isn't making my family look very bright but they are perfectly ok usually, think it may be shock reactions to me telling them about what I was going to do:-
I work as a designer for a small printing company and one of our biggest customers that we dealt with were Plymouth Brethren and because of their religious beliefs were worried we may lose their work. I told my sister about this and she actually, honestly said that after transition could we not just tell them that I was somebody else, a new employee. I have been in close contact with these people for about 15 years. Do you reckon they'd notice? ;D
Incidentally, one of the bosses from this company asked my boss "what is going on with *****" (my appearance was changing because of my T shots and he'd noticed) so my boss just told him the truth outright and he just said, "well, should we all call ***** "he" and "him" now then not "she" and "her"?" My boss said "yes" and they have all done this since, which was a major surprise.
John
Quote from: trapthavok on September 22, 2008, 10:48:16 AMI've gotten these before too
Ah, those one's are pretty annoying. This is how I'd answer them:
Q: What did you look like before?Depends on who's asking. If a transguy who is pre-transition is asking, I'd be more than willing to share pictures. If a stranger is asking, I'd tell them they were being incredibly rude. It's like asking someone how they looked before they lost 400 lbs.
Q: What was your name before?I honestly don't know how I'd answer this one.
Q: Why can't you just be a lesbian?Because my body identity has got nothing to do with my sexuality. Plus, I'm pansexual.
Q: How do you know you only like women if you've never been in a relationship?I don't. I like any kind of person. I do have sexual issues with penises, but I don't dislike men. I just don't think I'm ready to have sex with a man. I'd easily have sex with a woman though.
Q: How do you know what you like (in terms of sex) if you've never had it? You could like being touched down there.I tried masturbating. It doesn't work out. I have found anal to be pretty successful, though.
Q: Are you going to get them [boobs] cut off?Absolutely. Except, not exactly "cut off." They're going to be reconstructed.
Q: What did you look like before?
A girl..
Q: What was your name before?
My birth name Laura
Q: Why can't you just be a lesbian?
Because I am not a women
Q: How do you know you only like women if you've never been in a relationship?
I have been in plenty of relationships... all with women..
Q: How do you know what you like (in terms of sex) if you've never had it? You could like being touched down there.
Because I have tried it all.. and nothing works.. and I have had it!
Q: Are you going to get them [boobs] cut off?
Yes and my chest is going to be re-constructed..
Whats annoying is someone with very limited sexual experiences doing the ID as a 'pansexual' deal. You do no such thing. A pansexaul is someone who enjoys sex in all its aspects according to what they can give and get, and dude, you're so not that person.
If you can't enjoy, or at least contribute to, sex in all its aspects, then you are NOT a pansexual.
Why on earth would someone copy and paste a list of inappropriate questions, only to answer them and ask others to do the same? This confuses me.
Me too, but then again, being easy to confuse has made my life so much better.
Quote from: Mister on September 22, 2008, 05:55:37 PM
Why on earth would someone copy and paste a list of inappropriate questions, only to answer them and ask others to do the same? This confuses me.
Rehearsal for the people we will surely face as we travel?
kindof stupid question... it was more funny than anything. i was with a group of people who only knew me as male and this freshman came up and was like "are you a boy or a girl?" right in front of everyone. i didnt want to just "lie" so i was like "whatever you want me to be baby..." and caresed his shoulder.
Quote from: tekla on September 22, 2008, 05:47:17 PMWhats annoying is someone with very limited sexual experiences doing the ID as a 'pansexual' deal. You do no such thing. A pansexaul is someone who enjoys sex in all its aspects according to what they can give and get, and dude, you're so not that person.
If you can't enjoy, or at least contribute to, sex in all its aspects, then you are NOT a pansexual.
Pansexuality does not require that I have vaginal sex. Pansexuality has to do with the fact that I don't choose partners based on gender.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pansexuality (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pansexuality)
http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/pansexual (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/pansexual)
And if you don't like wikipedia:
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/pansexual (http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/pansexual)
Many, not all.
http://www.yourdictionary.com/pansexual (http://www.yourdictionary.com/pansexual)
Broad range, not all.
http://sexuality.about.com/od/glossary/g/pansexual.htm (http://sexuality.about.com/od/glossary/g/pansexual.htm)
"...without a generally agreed upon definition."So don't try to define it with your holier than thou attitude.
"...being pansexual means that you identify as having a sexual orientation towards everything, including people of all genders. It may also suggest that you acknowledge you could be sexually aroused by a song, or babbling brook."Again, doesn't say a person performs all sexual acts.
http://www.audioenglish.net/dictionary/pansexual.htm (http://www.audioenglish.net/dictionary/pansexual.htm)
Of many kinds, not all.
http://queersunited.blogspot.com/2008/06/diversity-lesson-101-pansexuality.html (http://queersunited.blogspot.com/2008/06/diversity-lesson-101-pansexuality.html)
"Pansexuals have the capability of attraction to others regardless of their gender identity or biological sex. A pansexual could be open to someone who is male, female, transgender, intersex, or agendered/genderqueer."A good definition. And before you say I am an exception, I am a pansexual with sexual difficulties. I was abused sexually in my childhood and for possibly other reasons I have "sexual dysfunction disorder." If a girl is raped and doesn't want to have sex with men, that doesn't necessarily make her a lesbian.
Posted on: September 22, 2008, 05:07:48 PM
Quote from: iFindMeHere on September 22, 2008, 06:40:12 PMQuote from: Mister on September 22, 2008, 05:55:37 PMWhy on earth would someone copy and paste a list of inappropriate questions, only to answer them and ask others to do the same? This confuses me.
Rehearsal for the people we will surely face as we travel?
Good answer.
Quote from: Chet on September 22, 2008, 06:43:01 PM
kindof stupid question... it was more funny than anything. i was with a group of people who only knew me as male and this freshman came up and was like "are you a boy or a girl?" right in front of everyone. i didnt want to just "lie" so i was like "whatever you want me to be baby..." and caresed his shoulder.
NICE NICE
As the old ad goes, Sorry Charlie, Starkist don't want tuna with good taste, Starkist wants tuna that tastes good. Quote all you want. It don't make it so, till you've made it so.
You just can't admit that chyoo wrong.
real pansexuals don't quote wiki, they just tell you about the last great night they had.
I quote other places, and you're wrong. I know that. You like to challenge me at every corner. But you know, I know when I'm right. And this time, I do.
I sure don't want to challenge you, but pansexuals are people who are totally comfortable with their sexuality. That ain't you.
Prove it. Provide a definition, and I will concede.
The last sexual party I worked (and not for union scale I might add) I had seven different sexual encounters with a total of eleven different people. That is pansexuality. It's about being on your back, with your toes curling yelling "Harder, harder, deeper deeper" if that's what you got to give.
Thank you for using that last, disgusting, inappropriate post as an example for pansexuals, tekla.
Quote from: Elwood on September 22, 2008, 02:58:20 PM
Quote from: trapthavok on September 22, 2008, 10:48:16 AMI've gotten these before too
Ah, those one's are pretty annoying. This is how I'd answer them:
Q: What did you look like before?
Depends on who's asking. If a transguy who is pre-transition is asking, I'd be more than willing to share pictures. If a stranger is asking, I'd tell them they were being incredibly rude. It's like asking someone how they looked before they lost 400 lbs.
Q: What was your name before?
I honestly don't know how I'd answer this one.
Q: Why can't you just be a lesbian?
Because my body identity has got nothing to do with my sexuality. Plus, I'm pansexual.
Lol people just don't understand how gender is separate from sexuality. If you're a girl who likes girls, you're a lesbian!! If you're a boy who likes girls, you're straight!!! Yay for linking the two. Ugh. That's an annoying one definitely.
As for the name question, I grit my teeth at first, try not to glare, then grudgingly say my old name. One person was nice enough to say "Nathaniel suits you a whole lot better" especially since she doesn't know me well, but it's rude that she asked in the first place. And I hate how they don't realize its rude.
LOL at the 400 lbs comment. I am USING that one next time I'm asked. Though I know a few smarta!!es who could counter it.
Lol I answered yours backwards.
Quote from: Jay on September 22, 2008, 03:57:45 PM
Q: What was your name before?
My birth name Laura
Q: Why can't you just be a lesbian?
Because I am not a women
Good point on the lesbian one, that should have been a really obvious answer.
I admire your bravery in sharing your birthname. I hate mine. I do not like telling people what it was.
And there I was thinking pansexuals are people who are attracted to satyrs. Lol, you learn something every day. ;) ;D
It's interesting seeing the answers to these questions. I would probably be far more sarcastic than would be necessary, if something similar were asked with regard to me being a woman. :-\ They aren't questions that should have to be answered, in my opinion.
Quote
Lol I answered yours backwards.Quote from: Jay on September 22, 2008, 03:57:45 PM
Q: What was your name before?
My birth name Laura
Q: Why can't you just be a lesbian?
Because I am not a women
Good point on the lesbian one, that should have been a really obvious answer.
I admire your bravery in sharing your birthname. I hate mine. I do not like telling people what it was.
I'm not ashamed of my birth name its a nice girl name however I am not a girl and wish to not be called that.
Quote from: tekla on September 22, 2008, 11:13:36 PM
The last sexual party I worked (and not for union scale I might add) I had seven different sexual encounters with a total of eleven different people. That is pansexuality. It's about being on your back, with your toes curling yelling "Harder, harder, deeper deeper" if that's what you got to give.
Im sorry but how you have described pansexuality makes me think that they are sex addicts?? Have it with anyone just to get off? Sorry but that's how it is coming across to me.
Quote from: Chet on September 22, 2008, 06:43:01 PM
kindof stupid question... it was more funny than anything. i was with a group of people who only knew me as male and this freshman came up and was like "are you a boy or a girl?" right in front of everyone. i didnt want to just "lie" so i was like "whatever you want me to be baby..." and caresed his shoulder.
Love it! Will probably use that next time!
THE "IF YOU'RE A MAN...." QUESTIONS
* Q1: If you have always thought of yourself as male, then why did you date men?
*Why are you putting words in my mouth? Did I say I directly thought of myself as "male" my entire life? I said I've been uncomfortable being raised and called "female" my whole life. That's a whole different deal. As far as who I dated, how does that affect your life, exactly?
* Q2: If you have always thought of yourself as male, then why did you have children?
* Because I thought if I did the whole "wear makeup and dresses and be suzy homemaker" thing I could "fix" myself. I'm glad I was dumb, I love my little one.
* Q3: If you were a man then why did you wear dresses sometimes?
* Well, depends on the chronology. Didn't have a choice, then i was trying to "fix" myself. During that time, I developed a taste for makeup and certain pieces of feminine clothing. That doesn't make me female, it makes me a cross-dresser or ->-bleeped-<- or something. Not sure, don't really care.
* GROUP 2: THE "WHY CAN'T YOU JUST..." QUESTIONS
o Q1: Why can't you just accept yourself the way you are?
o Let me introduce you to my friend the Internet. He is made of tubes and sometimes he'll help you do your own research!
o Q2: Why can't you compromise and just wear men's clothes?
o Funny, I didn't know Laura Ashley made cargo pants....
o Q3: Why can't you just live as a woman until your kids grow up/your parents die?
o Isn't it terrible when parents have to bury their children? Isn't it awful when little kids lose their parents? Yeah? Rescind your question--you've got your answer.
o Q4: Why can't you just be androgynous?
o Why can't you be smarter?
o GROUP 3: THE "WHAT HAVE YOU GOT?" QUESTIONS
+ Q1: Do you have a penis?
+ Why on earth do you need to know?
+ Q2: Do you have breasts?
+ Have you discussed your boundary issues with your therapist?
+ Q3: Are you stronger than average women?
+ Oh the dumb, it hurts! Look, I've known women who couldn't lift a bag of groceries and I've known women who spent their entire adult lives doing construction and the like. I don't know what you mean by average, but I can't imagine it's respectful.
GROUP 4: THE "HOW CAN YOU..." QUESTIONS
+ Q1: How can you be a male feminist?
+ I believe gender != worth, and cooperation>competition. To me, this is egalitarianism. To you, this is feminism. What does that say about our culture?
+ Q2: How can you know you're doing the right thing?
+ Because when I disguise the organic body parts, I suddenly have a will to live?
+ Q3: How can you be so selfish?
+ Wait, I'm selfish for refusing suicide? I think my partner and child would disagree. Get your foot out of your mouth.
+ Q3: How can you have sex? *dirty chuckle* Quite well thank you. Why, is your sex life lacking? *mock concern*
Quote from: tekla on September 22, 2008, 11:13:36 PM
The last sexual party I worked (and not for union scale I might add) I had seven different sexual encounters with a total of eleven different people. That is pansexuality. It's about being on your back, with your toes curling yelling "Harder, harder, deeper deeper" if that's what you got to give.
I think you are confusing "pansexual" and "promiscuous."
And are there ANY threads on here besides the "yay, I got called sir/yay I'm on T" threads that don't end up in personal arguments? Just a noob asking here, because so far it's kind of... off-putting. I'm all for civil disagreement, but wtf is with the personal attacks?
Quote from: tekla on September 22, 2008, 11:13:36 PMThe last sexual party I worked (and not for union scale I might add) I had seven different sexual encounters with a total of eleven different people. That is pansexuality. It's about being on your back, with your toes curling yelling "Harder, harder, deeper deeper" if that's what you got to give.
Anecdote. It doesn't prove anything.
Posted on: September 23, 2008, 08:34:49 AM
Quote from: Aidan on September 23, 2008, 06:13:26 AMQuote from: tekla on September 22, 2008, 11:13:36 PMThe last sexual party I worked (and not for union scale I might add) I had seven different sexual encounters with a total of eleven different people. That is pansexuality. It's about being on your back, with your toes curling yelling "Harder, harder, deeper deeper" if that's what you got to give.
I think you are confusing "pansexual" and "promiscuous."
I second that.
Quote from: Aidan on September 23, 2008, 06:13:26 AMAnd are there ANY threads on here besides the "yay, I got called sir/yay I'm on T" threads that don't end up in personal arguments? Just a noob asking here, because so far it's kind of... off-putting. I'm all for civil disagreement, but wtf is with the personal attacks?
No, not really. Please,
please indulge us and create a thread that is DIFFERENT for once.
Yeah, people here have low self-esteems so they attack each other. Because I'm so blunt, people feel threatened by my speech, so I'm a pretty common target.
[Yeah, people here have low self-esteems so they attack each other. Because I'm so blunt, people feel threatened by my speech, so I'm a pretty common target.[/quote]
Never used to happen until a few months back.. Dont really know what has happened!
Quote from: Jay on September 23, 2008, 10:51:30 AMNever used to happen until a few months back.. Dont really know what has happened!
I don't know either. I know tekla is particularly aggressive towards me, and that a lot of the bickering comes from that source...
Not to be pointing fingers, it's just what I've seen recently.
"There are no stupid questions, just stupid people!" - Mr Garrison (South Park) ;D
Quote from: Snowdoggy on September 23, 2008, 02:00:32 PM
"There are no stupid questions, just stupid people!" - Mr Garrison (South Park) ;D
He He!
Quote from: Elwood on September 23, 2008, 01:26:34 PM
Quote from: Jay on September 23, 2008, 10:51:30 AMNever used to happen until a few months back.. Dont really know what has happened!
I don't know either. I know tekla is particularly aggressive towards me, and that a lot of the bickering comes from that source...
Not to be pointing fingers, it's just what I've seen recently.
Sie's like that with everyone. Always calls it like sie sees it. Don't worry, sie grows on you. ;D
i'm late to the party thanks to caltrain, but on the promiscuity v. pansexual thing...
There is a difference between being sex-positive and being promiscuous. There are a ton of sex clubs, parties, swinger events, etc out here. Sex is a culture in San Francisco, much more so than anywhere else. Hell, a friend and his wife belong to a swinger club that requires an interview process, headshots... the whole nine... all to guarantee you attractive people to screw and/or be screwed by. So no, going to a sex event and having x number of encounters with n people does not equal being tramp.
Pansexuality is not being sex-positive. It doesn't have to do solely with sex. For instance, someone can be a homosexual and a virgin. The same applies to pansexuality. As for how far I'd go, I'd go anywhere with anything but my vagina. Maybe that doesn't meet up to tekla's standards of "wild and crazy," but it's further than most of the people I know would go and since I am a man I don't see why I have to use my vagina to be "sexually open."
I didn't say that pansexuality was equivalent to being sex positive. I said that being sex positive is not equivalent to promiscuity.
Okayy...
Then why is everyone arguing about this?
No no no, you're all wrong. It means wanting to have hot steaming action with frying pans! Like, duh. Everyone knows that. ;)
Okay, seriously, could we just drop this, please?
Quote from: Ciarquin on September 23, 2008, 11:42:37 PMNo no no, you're all wrong. It means wanting to have hot steaming action with frying pans!
You win. :icon_pissed:
The difference between 'bi-sexual' and 'pansexual' as it was explained to me once is that bi-sexual is still pretty much limited to humans. Pansexuality embraced the myriad sexual expressions open to people and try to be positive about that those other kinds of expressions including - but not limited to - fetish play, role playing, power exchanges and the like.
i always heard it where bisexual was men and women. but that doesnt really include the neithers, the both, and the in-betweens. and pansexuality does.
And even expressions far beyond that.
Quote from: Chet on September 24, 2008, 06:03:16 PM
i always heard it where bisexual was men and women. but that doesnt really include the neithers, the both, and the in-betweens. and pansexuality does.
This is the expression that I learned and it is the reason I call myself such.
The myriad sexual expressions open to people... does that include bestiality?
Anyway, the dude said he was pansexual, not a nymphomaniac.
beastiality is generally condemned by the pansexual folks, based on the fact that an animal can't consent. same reason for things like necrophilia and pedophilia.
Agreed that consent is critical for living beings. But there are ranges of behavior beyond all that human stuff, or changing the numbers, the performance aspects - and you don't have to be a nympho, but most of the pansexuals I know are not exactly shy and modest and undersexed either.
Quote from: tekla on September 24, 2008, 10:59:13 PM
Agreed that consent is critical for living beings. But there are ranges of behavior beyond all that human stuff, or changing the numbers, the performance aspects - and you don't have to be a nympho, but most of the pansexuals I know are not exactly shy and modest and undersexed either.
god knows my stress level would be lower.
Its very stress free for the most part. You pretty much have to give up all notions of modesty and self and place your trust in the larger group or that different mindset.
Oh Tekla, I'm not very sexually inhibited. I'm not shy, I'm not freaked out. I just cannot get down with penis. Doesn't turn me on. Isn't attractive to me. Just... very much not my thing. And I trend toward being a serial monogamist, so that kills the multiple partners thing for me as well. I found myself a ->-bleeped-<- chasing sexually-uninhibited woman with a high sex drive. I'm happy. :)
I'm just safe and monogamous. I like sex as much as anyone else, and I like humans of any gender or sex or what have you, but I stick with one person. Uninhibited doesn't mean careless and stupid.
Hey, what ever floats your boat, the discussion started with someone referring to themselves with that designation without the amount of experience that one would assume when into such a choice for themselves. They may well have tendencies in that direction, though I doubt it, its pretty libertine stuff for the most part, but its very real, and you have to pretty go before you know.
Yup, and I have to say I agree on that point.
Whatever. I'll still be at Folsom all day volunteering for CUAV. :D
Quote from: Mister on September 25, 2008, 01:32:37 AM
Yup, and I have to say I agree on that point.
Whatever. I'll still be at Folsom all day volunteering for CUAV. :D
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Folsom Street Fair, not Folsom Prison. :)
Quote from: Mister on September 25, 2008, 01:38:09 AM
Folsom Street Fair, not Folsom Prison. :)
HEY HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW. rofl
Hey, there's a little bit of Folsom Prison at the Folsom Fair, and perhaps even some of the Folsom Fair at Folsom Prison - at least that whole uniform deal.
Quote from: Chet on September 24, 2008, 06:03:16 PMi always heard it where bisexual was men and women. but that doesnt really include the neithers, the both, and the in-betweens. and pansexuality does.
Exactly. A bisexual isn't into the in betweens, the androgynes, intersexed, etc.
Quote from: Elwood on September 25, 2008, 09:49:43 AM
Quote from: Chet on September 24, 2008, 06:03:16 PMi always heard it where bisexual was men and women. but that doesnt really include the neithers, the both, and the in-betweens. and pansexuality does.
Exactly. A bisexual isn't into the in betweens, the androgynes, intersexed, etc.
If this is true, then I guess I'm pansexual instead of bisexual. Interesting...
Quote from: Elwood on September 25, 2008, 09:49:43 AM
Quote from: Chet on September 24, 2008, 06:03:16 PMi always heard it where bisexual was men and women. but that doesnt really include the neithers, the both, and the in-betweens. and pansexuality does.
Exactly. A bisexual isn't into the in betweens, the androgynes, intersexed, etc.
I consider myself pansexual -- that is, I like absolutely eeeeeveryone, gender not important -- but I call myself bisexual because no one really knows what "pansexual" means, and it sounds pretty kinky to someone who hasn't heard it before (i.e. "I <not allowed> everything that moves!"). Maybe if "pansexual" catches on among the mainstream population, I'll start using it. But most people who say they're bisexual probably mean pansexual.
EDIT: This is actually kind of a larger issue about people who think bisexuality/pansexuality is about promiscuity or polyamory. Well, I'm sure it is for some people, but not everyone!
Quote from: Andrew on September 26, 2008, 11:24:12 AM
Quote from: Elwood on September 25, 2008, 09:49:43 AM
Quote from: Chet on September 24, 2008, 06:03:16 PMi always heard it where bisexual was men and women. but that doesnt really include the neithers, the both, and the in-betweens. and pansexuality does.
Exactly. A bisexual isn't into the in betweens, the androgynes, intersexed, etc.
I consider myself pansexual -- that is, I like absolutely eeeeeveryone, gender not important -- but I call myself bisexual because no one really knows what "pansexual" means, and it sounds pretty kinky to someone who hasn't heard it before (i.e. "I <not allowed> everything that moves!"). Maybe if "pansexual" catches on among the mainstream population, I'll start using it. But most people who say they're bisexual probably mean pansexual.
EDIT: This is actually kind of a larger issue about people who think bisexuality/pansexuality is about promiscuity or polyamory. Well, I'm sure it is for some people, but not everyone!
I disagree only slightly, Andrew. I think the "misunderstanding" by some is a fervent desire to simply not acknowledge what is definitely true, sexuality is about attraction not just "going to bed with." The distinction seems to elude some folks.
Nichole
I swore I wouldn't get involved but... Sexual orientation and sexual behaviour are two linked but distinct identities. I used to identify as pansexual but I got tired of explaining it and having people go oh you mean your bi. Now I just say I am queer. However it really doesn't matter what your personal definition of label is unless we are talking about your identify. No one has any right to judge, attempt to define or label someone else's sexuality or label. If Elwood wishes to define himself as a pansexual that is his right and it isn't your place to challenge it, Tekla. In this case you are wrong not because of a definition but because you are disrespecting his right to self determination and labeling. Now I will drop it.
->-bleeped-<-boy
Quote from: ->-bleeped-<-boy link=topic=44045.msg286121#msg286121 date=1222509877
I swore I wouldn't get involved but... Sexual orientation and sexual behaviour are two linked but distinct identities. I used to identify as pansexual but I got tired of explaining it and having people go oh you mean your bi. Now I just say I am queer. However it really doesn't matter what your personal definition of label is unless we are talking about your identify. No one has any right to judge, attempt to define or label someone else's sexuality or label. If Elwood wishes to define himself as a pansexual that is his right and it isn't your place to challenge it, Tekla. In this case you are wrong not because of a definition but because you are disrespecting his right to self determination and labeling. Now I will drop it.
->-bleeped-<-boy
Good on ya ->-bleeped-<-boy! :eusa_clap:
Quote from: ->-bleeped-<-boy link=topic=44045.msg286121#msg286121 date=1222509877
I swore I wouldn't get involved but... Sexual orientation and sexual behaviour are two linked but distinct identities. I used to identify as pansexual but I got tired of explaining it and having people go oh you mean your bi. Now I just say I am queer. However it really doesn't matter what your personal definition of label is unless we are talking about your identify. No one has any right to judge, attempt to define or label someone else's sexuality or label. If Elwood wishes to define himself as a pansexual that is his right and it isn't your place to challenge it, Tekla. In this case you are wrong not because of a definition but because you are disrespecting his right to self determination and labeling. Now I will drop it.
->-bleeped-<-boy
Way to go, ->-bleeped-<-boy! I couldn't have said it better. I'm amazed to see all the controversy this caused here! It's completely Elwood's choice and right to express his sexuality in the terms he's most comfortable with.
I'm pansexual myself (Yay fetishes! Whee, fun!), but it's true (tee hee, Andrew, you're so right!) most people have no idea what it is.
Feh. Sexuality's complicated enough as it is, without members of our own community challanging our definations of ourselves. As a female, I was attraced to men and women, but "something" (my penis!) was always missing. I was always more drawn to M/M sex than anything else, and as I guy I'm primarily gay, but I'm open to other possibilities...
Pansexual F2M BDSM switch, hmm... (laughing) I'm sure that would confuse the locals! I think I'll stick with saying I'm bi for now.
Oh, and as to the ACTUAL topic... If someone asks me a "stupid" question, I'm glad to answer them as honestly as I can. I really don't mind honest concern or even curiosity. I really do feel like the only way we'll ever be accepted by society is for there to be more understanding. Ok, yeah, I KNOW that's more than a little "pollyanna-ish", but if I can just open ONE person's eyes, it's progress, and I'm happy.
Unless they're being intentionally rude, in which case they can go <deleted!> themselves with a very big, very pointy stick. Twice.
Quote from: James on October 15, 2008, 04:31:38 PM
Way to go, ->-bleeped-<-boy! I couldn't have said it better. I'm amazed to see all the controversy this caused here! It's completely Elwood's choice and right to express his sexuality in the terms he's most comfortable with.
I'm pansexual myself (Yay fetishes! Whee, fun!), but it's true (tee hee, Andrew, you're so right!) most people have no idea what it is.
Feh. Sexuality's complicated enough as it is, without members of our own community challanging our definations of ourselves. As a female, I was attraced to men and women, but "something" (my penis!) was always missing. I was always more drawn to M/M sex than anything else, and as I guy I'm primarily gay, but I'm open to other possibilities...
Pansexual F2M BDSM switch, hmm... (laughing) I'm sure that would confuse the locals! I think I'll stick with saying I'm bi for now.
Oh, and as to the ACTUAL topic... If someone asks me a "stupid" question, I'm glad to answer them as honestly as I can. I really don't mind honest concern or even curiosity. I really do feel like the only way we'll ever be accepted by society is for there to be more understanding. Ok, yeah, I KNOW that's more than a little "pollyanna-ish", but if I can just open ONE person's eyes, it's progress, and I'm happy.
Unless they're being intentionally rude, in which case they can go <deleted!> themselves with a very big, very pointy stick. Twice.
Proving once again that James... is made of Win. Even if he's afraid I'm gonna Do Bad Things to him. *grins*
Quote from: iFindMeHere on October 15, 2008, 04:33:39 PM
Proving once again that James... is made of Win. Even if he's afraid I'm gonna Do Bad Things to him. *grins*
Umm, I'm afraid you'll do Bad things to me??? I did not know that, (grin) thanks for telling me. (giggle) Is that a threat, a promise, or are you mixing me up with another James?
Quote from: James on October 15, 2008, 06:15:07 PM
Quote from: iFindMeHere on October 15, 2008, 04:33:39 PM
Proving once again that James... is made of Win. Even if he's afraid I'm gonna Do Bad Things to him. *grins*
Umm, I'm afraid you'll do Bad things to me??? I did not know that, (grin) thanks for telling me. (giggle) Is that a threat, a promise, or are you mixing me up with another James?
You're not the James from chat last night? My bad dude.
* THE "IF YOU'RE A MAN...." QUESTIONS
o Q1: If you have always thought of yourself as male, then why did you date men?
o I didn't "always" think of myself as male. I started identifying as male last January. I've always liked guys, before and after identifying as male. Why do I still like them? Because I just do
o Q2: If you have always thought of yourself as male, then why did you have children?
o I don't have any children. i don't plan on ever having any children either
o Q3: If you were a man then why did you wear dresses sometimes?
o I wore dresses before but now I'm just uncomfortable when I do wear dresses. I don't wear them anymore
* GROUP 2: THE "WHY CAN'T YOU JUST..." QUESTIONS
o Q1: Why can't you just accept yourself the way you are?
o I've accepted myself as male. Does that answer your question?
o Q2: Why can't you compromise and just wear men's clothes?
o I don't want to compromise with the way I am. And I do wear men's clothes
o Q3: Why can't you just live as a woman until your kids grow up/your parents die?
o Your question is retarded
o Q4: Why can't you just be androgynous?
o I identify as androgynous male
* GROUP 3: THE "WHAT HAVE YOU GOT?" QUESTIONS
o Q1: Do you have a penis?
o No..it doesn't really matter. I would like to have one but if I can't get one then oh well I don't really care. I wouldn't go compare my "manliness" to my penis if I had one
o Q2: Do you have breasts?
o Yes..though hopefully someday to get them removed
o Q3: Are you stronger than average women?
o I don't think so..
GROUP 4: THE "HOW CAN YOU..." QUESTIONS
o Q1: How can you be a male feminist?
o Well like what others said, femenist's opinions are "Women should have equal rights as men do" and I firmly agree with that. If I would be considered a male femenist that that's ok
o Q2: How can you know you're doing the right thing?
o I still don't know if I truly, really am trans but I'm going along with what I feel like
o Q3: How can you be so selfish?
o How am I being selfish?
o Q3: How can you have sex?
o I'm not having sex and if I ever did, I wouldn't have "penetrative" sex if I may be so blunt
I thought I'd just fill it out..because I'm bored lol
* THE "IF YOU'RE A MAN...." QUESTIONS
o Q1: If you have always thought of yourself as male, then why did you date men?
o because I'm gay
o Q2: If you have always thought of yourself as male, then why did you have children?
o I haven't, and the thought sickens me. If I ever decide I want children, I will adopt or become a foster parent
o Q3: If you were a man then why did you wear dresses sometimes?
o wearing female clothes doesn't make one a female
* GROUP 2: THE "WHY CAN'T YOU JUST..." QUESTIONS
o Q1: Why can't you just accept yourself the way you are?
o I have. I am a male stuck in a female body, and I plan to fix this problem when possible
o Q2: Why can't you compromise and just wear men's clothes?
o the clothing doesn't make the person
o Q3: Why can't you just live as a woman until your kids grow up/your parents die?
o I love my parents so I wouldn't want them believing a lie for their entire lives
o Q4: Why can't you just be androgynous?
o because I am a boy. duh
* GROUP 3: THE "WHAT HAVE YOU GOT?" QUESTIONS
o Q1: Do you have a penis?
o I wasn't born with one, and will never have a "natural" one, but I do plan on surgery
o Q2: Do you have breasts?
o yes, and I plan to have them removed when possible
o Q3: Are you stronger than average women?
o no, but that means squat. I'm stronger than some of my male-born friends. Strength is no measure for gender
GROUP 4: THE "HOW CAN YOU..." QUESTIONS
o Q1: How can you be a male feminist?
o because I do believe that men and women should have equal rights. Standing up for women doesn't make me one
o Q2: How can you know you're doing the right thing?
o if my brain despises the female parts of my anatomy so much, and desires only to be physically male, then it has to be the right thing to do for me
o Q3: How can you be so selfish?
o it was either accept myself as a FTM transsexual or commit suicide. Those were my only options
o Q3: How can you have sex?
o the same way any receiving gay male has sex