I know some transwomen, mostly from forums and such, that think they should not have to feminize their voice. I agree. They should not have to if that is their feeling.
However......this is how it was for me:
I tried several times to feminize my voice, and found it nearly impossible, and so frustrating that I gave up. I thought I would never develop a female voice, and almost gave it up.
But then, I had the following thought:
Somehow, by a quirk of nature, I was 'cheated' out of being physically female, but now I am.
So.....I was also 'cheated' out of having a female voice, which I dearly wanted.
This epiphany drove me to teaching myself to have a female voice. It took a long time, but then, so did my physical transition. But, after a lot of very hard work, Beverly has her female voice. She can still summon 'Mike's' voice on occasion, but it's getting harder and harder to remember. Kind of like my old face.....harder and harder to remember.
What do you think? Should you feminize your voice?
Bev
My personal opinion, yes you should develop. Society is messed up enough as it is and looking female and not sounding like one....well I can see repercussions because of it.
Mines in an in between state, and I'm usually not trying to pass on a day to day basis cause I'm not full time yet and its kind of embarrassing to practice around my roomies.
The one reason why I can barely do what helped me so much before hormones, is that I have no car to drive around in.
I used to sing in the minivan to 8 bit and Dream Theatre and Queens of the Stone Age almost every day cause I drove so much.
Now I have no wheres to sing at the top of my lungs.
Quote from: sadieone on October 14, 2008, 10:32:05 AM
My personal opinion, yes you should develop. Society is messed up enough as it is and looking female and not sounding like one....well I can see repercussions because of it.
I agree, at least for me. There's only so much "sailing against the cultural norms" that I have the strength for.
Ive been thinking about this a lot too...I pass very well other than the voice. Its funny because I think I have the female voice down pretty good, but get nervous about using it for some reason and I continualy question if I need a female voice (I always conclude I do)...
For some reason I feel it will be the most difficult part for others to accept, my new voice vs. the physical changes...
I have decided I will not get FFS till I can sound like a female . I absolutly have always hated my voice and can`t wait to change it. I`m in the frustraited stage at the moment but am looking into getting voice therepy soon. I have tried all the web sites and DvD`s I can get my hands on and nothing worked after a year of all that practice.
Yes.
When I'm posing as a woman, I have no trouble at all coming off as a woman who simply speaks in a low tenor. It goes with my slight masculine qualities, anyway. I even keep my hair cut short, and I wouldn't be caught dead in a skirt or a dress (at least not out in public). I don't do anything to try to raise the pitch of my voice. It's more in the harmonics and body language than anything else, and that's something you learn more through usage than through practice. Also, don't worry about what gender people think you are. Whether you're male, female, or transitional, you shouldn't be associating with people who have trouble treating you as an individual.
Yes! For me its getting way too difficult to keep switching back and forth. Its bad enough that my female voice needs much work yet to be having slips in public when you are preparing for FT. I find that I also slip at work into a female voice and Im not out there yet. You also have to be extremely careful of where you practice at. ;D
I recently had one of my most embarrasing moments in a mens john at work. I swear I looked when I went in and saw no one else in the other stall that was there. Here I was just doing my piddling and practicing my female voice when I hear a male voice softly clearing their throat. :o I thought I was going to die. Talk about getting real quiet and making a hasty exit. :embarrassed:
Wendy
Quote from: Silk on October 14, 2008, 01:51:08 PM
When I'm posing as a woman, I have no trouble at all coming off as a woman who simply speaks in a low tenor. It goes with my slight masculine qualities, anyway. I even keep my hair cut short, and I wouldn't be caught dead in a skirt or a dress (at least not out in public). I don't do anything to try to raise the pitch of my voice. It's more in the harmonics and body language than anything else, and that's something you learn more through usage than through practice. Also, don't worry about what gender people think you are. Whether you're male, female, or transitional, you shouldn't be associating with people who have trouble treating you as an individual.
I think this is the jumping-off point between gay males, drag queens, other varieties of TG and TS. (refer to Hypatia's thread: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,45511.msg291810.html#msg291810 ) I truly believe that experience tells me that other TG-types don't quite "get" the transsexual-thang and especially prone to that failure are gay males.
I don't think what is realized is that TSes are not 'posing as a woman (or man.") We simply are female and male, just like you.
Like Hypatia I am not especially fond of being viewed as TG. That has nothing to do with who makes up the transgender rainbow, has nothing to do with the frivolity involved in saying that since Charles Prince coined the term (which he didn't,) that one shouldn't use it since he was all for wiping out transsexuals altogether. (Join hands Virginia/Charles with Janice Raymond and mAndrea (http://feminazi.wordpress.com/).)
I am not transgender, although I support transgender causes and embrace people who refer to themselves as transgender. For that matter I embrace gays and lesbians as well. O, better not leave out the nons, some of my best friends are non and straight! But I have no interest in "posing" as anyone at all. I simply am Nichole. I simply am female.
Period. (to quote Tink. :laugh: )
Is there something terribly wrong with that? Not as I see it. One does voice simply because she's not trying to cast an illusion, make a fantasy or a caricature. She's working toward becoming the very self she is. Like a person who through accident has lost the power of speech, there is therapy, rehab, that makes a voice that, if not the one "one might have had," at least can be passably recognized as female.
Is that important? Not to everyone perhaps, but to me it has been. Yes, it's been hard work. Has it been worthwhile to hear people on the phone invariably use "ma'am" or "miss?" Yes. Has it been worthwhile to not be outed by my voice in a public situation at a restaurant, on the street, in an office, to my clients? Yes.
Along with the other facts of changing one's material self to emulate and match one's heart/soul/mind/brain, voice goes along with breast development, genitalia reformation, touching the places one has always lived in and touching them with life and depth, not a wannabe, but someone real, true, no poses. Just woman.
I don't expect that to be universally understood. I expect many to wish to "break the binary" and they are welcome to do so, as far as I am concerned. I don't require the binary to be myself, but am reasonably comfortable within it as well.
I'm not for segregating ourselves into distinct, separate and mutually exclusive clubs and associations. Why should anyone be left behind? Why should anyone gloat that some could be or have been? That is simply cruel and shallow in my estimation. There's no need to hurl anyone else anywhere at all for me to live into myself. That self, in this life, is female. It's not a pose of any kind.
And I will associate with any other human being. Not always as friend or disciple, but as another human being who deserves whatever respect I give other human beings. Who they are, where they come from, what they believe be damned. It is what it is and their blood is as red as my own, their tears as briny, their laughter as infectious.
Nichole
Quote from: Nichole on October 14, 2008, 03:47:28 PM
Quote from: Silk on October 14, 2008, 01:51:08 PM
When I'm posing as a woman, I have no trouble at all coming off as a woman who simply speaks in a low tenor. It goes with my slight masculine qualities, anyway. I even keep my hair cut short, and I wouldn't be caught dead in a skirt or a dress (at least not out in public). I don't do anything to try to raise the pitch of my voice. It's more in the harmonics and body language than anything else, and that's something you learn more through usage than through practice. Also, don't worry about what gender people think you are. Whether you're male, female, or transitional, you shouldn't be associating with people who have trouble treating you as an individual.
I think this is the jumping-off point between gay males, drag queens, other varieties of TG and TS. (refer to Hypatia's thread: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,45511.msg291810.html#msg291810 ) I truly believe that experience tells me that other TG-types don't quite "get" the transsexual-thang and especially prone to that failure are gay males.
I don't think what is realized is that TSes are not 'posing as a woman (or man.") We simply are female and male, just like you.
I think your feelings so far are quite understandable, but you seem to have misunderstood me. Let me be clear: I identify as female. I identify as very female. To put it very roughly, I consider myself to be an incredibly well-adjusted, young woman in a man's body. That's not perfectly accurate insofar as my understanding of the subject, but it is sufficient for the layman. I don't identify as male. I don't have any desire to be functional as one. I want to be completely functional as a woman. I want the uterus. I want the periods. I want the capacity to bear children.
Quotenot a wannabe, but someone real, true, no poses. Just woman.
I can assure you...as someone who is far more educated and literate than most people in the area of neuroscience...that you are absolutely the picture of womanhood, and there is no need for such insecurities. It is highly unlikely that you differ
significantly from a normal anxiety-ridden female. Transsexualism is well-supported by the empirical sciences. In fact, it's one of the favorite curiosities of many geneticists.
QuoteAnd I will associate with any other human being.
Whereas I have no desire for the company of individuals who are incapable of tolerating mine. The reasoning is beautifully simple, really.
My voice jumps back and fourth but more or less it no longer sounds like a male voice on the phone or Xbox Live. It passes mostly. I've been working on it for I think three to four months and thus far it sounds good, just need to work on a few everyday words and I'll have it down. Good bye Josh's Voice hello Carolyn's Voice!
There's no question about it. It's an imperative necessity. I don't know how all these beautiful women can perfect their looks, their moves, their entire female presence -- and then be OK with how they destroy it all as soon as they open their mouth. For me, the looks took a lot of effort to get right (the body language came naturally) and having put all that effort into myself, it made sense to invest that work in my voice too. It was so worth it, I get ma'amed on the phone every time now. I cannot imagine how my transition would have been this successful without the voice feminization.
I'm not sure. I know women who pass despite having their 'male voice'.
Hi Bev, wow this subject makes it's rounds often enough, but as it should. I think for anyone who is transitioning from M-F it is crucially important to train their voice more towards a female voice if they have a desire not to out themselves as soon as they open their mouth.
I trained my own voice although I was fortunate that I didn't have a deep male voice to begin with. It just need tuning up.
Every time this subject comes up I of course bring my friend along with me.
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=s7qSJ19f_QU&feature=related (http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=s7qSJ19f_QU&feature=related)
You are also welcome to visit my Blog, Cindy's Ramblings Blog.
Cindy
Passing isn't the main issue for me. I just hate my voice. What I hear in my head is totally disconnected from what comes out. It's like having a nasty cold all the time.
Quote from: cindybc on October 15, 2008, 01:32:17 PM
Hi Bev, wow this subject makes it's rounds often enough, but as it should. I think for anyone who is transitioning from M-F it is crucially important to train their voice more towards a female voice if they have a desire not to out themselves as soon as they open their mouth.
I trained my own voice although I was fortunate that I didn't have a deep male voice to begin with. It just need tuning up.
Every time this subject comes up I of course bring my friend along with me.
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=s7qSJ19f_QU&feature=related (http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=s7qSJ19f_QU&feature=related)
You are also welcome to visit my Blog, Cindy's Ramblings Blog.
Cindy
Okay, now that I've seen how much of a difference it makes, I can imagine how this could affect one's self-image.
I think that part of the reason I can get by is that I already have a slightly feminine voice, and it already has slightly musical qualities. I occasionally get "ma'am" and "miss" over the phone, and I look attractive enough as a woman to erase most suspicion. Strike that, I look hot, and I flaunt it. I really didn't take into account that most people don't have that kind of luck.
A few of you have delivered some very strong arguments, and I have greatly reconsidered my initial stance on the subject. Seeing it on video really drove it home.
I have practiced getting to my feminine voice. And now I have a really hard time bring up my old male voice. And that is perfectly fine with me.
Quote from: Nichole on October 14, 2008, 03:47:28 PM
I think this is the jumping-off point... <snip>
Nichole
Wow... I am encouraged :) In the past I tried to share my very similar feelings and was accused of all sorts of terrible things like, "Deciding who is a "real" woman and who isn't." Simply for being so naive as to share my own needs, goals and desires while thinking that there were others who could identify or sympathize with me. And I am talking about another website, long ago and far away. But.. at that particular website you either identified as transgender and realized that everyone was just as valid of a "pretend" woman or you would be dressed up as a straw man and burned.
It is nice to know that I can relate to you and probably others and that I don't have to worry about being tarred and feathered for being transsexual and for not identifying as transgender.
For a long time trying to speak in a feminine voice felt very unnatural to me. And I wanted for people to realize that I was being 'authentic' by transitioning. Trying to speak in a feminine voice seemed to betray my own feelings of authenticity and really tore me up inside. It was like I had a real conundrum to face, the most difficult aspect of transition to me. How do I speak in a feminine voice without every cell in my being resonating that I am going against reality or playing a part or acting?
I think part of it had to do with my situation. Not having yet been full-time made it nearly impossible for me to talk like a woman on cue and feel like a real person. Going full-time helped a little or it set in place another part that would bring me closer to my goal - of being able to speak as a woman without feeling fake. The next important thing for me was to be around people who did not know me from before, that and practice helped me to begin to feel that I could speak in a female voice and still feel like I was being authentic to myself. Now and living around some people who know about me.. I am struggling to speak consistently in my good female voice around people like my parents and neighbors. It is really difficult for me. So difficult in fact that I told my parents I could no longer speak to them at all until I had some time to recover from the negative comments my Mother would make because she didn't want to loose that last little bit of her son, his familiar voice. She would constantly tell me just to speak in my "normal" voice, my "natural" voice and she would say that my female voice was an "unnatural" "strain" and that she just wanted me to be "me".
It is especially difficult right now, not having spoken to my parents in several months now that I have found out that my brother is in intensive care, in a coma, from Insulin Shock and it is expected that if he does survive, he will have permanent brain damage. My parents love me and I love them. My sister thinks I am a Satan worshiping sex freak, rapist and child molester (because I transitioned) and she is a "Christian", married to a Liberal Jewish man ::) It is just odd how she can justify whatever she wants and how for her religion is simply a tool to use to maintain hate or fear or whatever she is suffering from. But anyway... I remember long ago someone saying how you need to be prepared to loose Everything when you transition, I never realized how heavy the costs would be or maybe I kinda knew but knowing the reality of it is a lot different than considering the possibilities before the fact.
Everyday I learn more and more that the most precious thing we have is time and the second most precious thing we have or don't have is health and money. Money can buy you happiness, it can buy you a vagina, nice breasts, a beautiful Dr. Ousterhout face... Money is everything to a transsexual woman and I wish I had some. I am just trying to figure out how to make the most of my time without dedicating my life to someday having a life. It isn't easy being a transsexual, especially one like me who cannot, absolutely cannot tolerate being regarded by people as, "The man who..." as a preface to every idea they have about me.
You're right, full time and vocal feminization are closely linked. I transitioned to full time last year shortly after I started going for my voice therapy, and the two went together hand in glove. They did need to encourage me to use my female voice 100% when I was at home with family as well as out and about. When I accomplished full time voice too, then my voice got good and stayed good. I get what you mean about switching back and forth between different voices. That's just not helpful. To go well, it needed to be maintained consistently. Now if I try to produce a male voice, it comes out sounding like a woman's parody of a man's voice. Like Mulan.
Nice :) I think in order for it to be second nature or to really feel natural it generally has to be all-the-time. Then after a while.. even when you hear yourself think.. in your mind your voice is female and when you are startled and when you suddenly have to sneeze or cough, there is less chance of making sounds that betray your core self. I feel like it is basically a narrowing of the top of the throat kind of thing that happens when you draw the thyroid cartilage up a bit when talking and to be natural that function has to be second nature in the same way that most of us learned to use our voice hardware as we went through puberty so as to sound like our peers. That is the nice thing about voice, voice isn't "natural" either way. Both manners of speech are learned through practice.
"Betray your core self?" What?
I related earlier that my workplace is one thing that is stifling my voice which brings up several questions. For those who transition at work, how well prepared were you when you made the switch from one voice to the next and did it bring angst back into the picture? I also have a problem at home which I believe was mentioned. Anger of any kind seems to throw me back into a male voice without even realizing I've done it. How did you cope with that or what methods are reccomended to avoid that problem?
I have my work cut out for me as I am very close to FT and will transition on the job in the next several months. Thanks and Hugs
Wendy
Quote from: Wendy C on October 30, 2008, 09:05:45 PMFor those who transition at work, how well prepared were you when you made the switch from one voice to the next
I was somewhat prepared because I had started voice feminization training a few weeks before fulltime.
Quoteand did it bring angst back into the picture?
I don't know what you mean by angst? My transition at work went smoothly. In fact, what made my female voice truly functional was the day I went fulltime and could maintain a consistent voice always. The same day I began fulltime at work, was the same day I started getting addressed as "Ma'am" over the phone. That was no coincidence. All the pieces just fell into place on that blessed day, and my confidence was assured from then on.
QuoteI also have a problem at home which I believe was mentioned. Anger of any kind seems to throw me back into a male voice without even realizing I've done it. How did you cope with that or what methods are reccomended to avoid that problem?
As said, once you're fulltime, and have made your "best voice" such a habit that it becomes second nature, that should take care of it. Actually, when I took a women's self-defense class this year, part of the training was learning how to shout "NO!!!" forcefully while hitting the attacker where it hurts. I had to be trained out of my tendency to shriek like a girl when excited, instead I had to learn to produce a lower, more even tone of shouting, to sound sufficiently forceful. My girly shriek at first indicated maybe I'd accomplished my vocal feminization a little too well, LOL.
If you want to fully pass, then you should do your best to sound passable too.
about shrieking. * years ago when I was accosted by a drunk I screamed for help and even though I had trained my voice to a higher more female pitch, that scream came out sounding man like voice. * coughing and sneezing were a little harder to control so I would sneeze and cough without the use of the voice box, even that was a bit of a trick to learn, but it served me well for a time. 8 years later my voice sound's convincingly female except for times when I have a scratchiness in my throat which sounded more like a woman's voice being run over a wood rasp, if you can imagine that in your mind. Thank God I haven't had a cold in the past four years, I'd hate to see what I would sound like with a cold.
Here is an experience I had a couple of months back I hadn't even anticipated nor expect. My soul mate was going some barbequing at the top of the stairs and as she turned to go down the stairs, the stairs collapsed under her and she went straight down to the concrete slab below on top of the stairs. I screamed to blue murder for someone in the house to come out. I didn't realise until after the elderly gent down stairs came out and helped Wing Walker into the apartment and laid her down on the couch, and our land lady came down to dress her wounds. Wing Walker was the one who told afterwards that I screamed like a teen age girl in a panic. *No foolin, never practiced for it.* I know I had a rather higher pitched voice then a male's but never that close to a high pitch before.
Cindy
I know quite a few GG females with deep voices. Especially black women. Women who are most definitely female often have deeper voices.
So what makes a voice, 'feminine?'
As far as I see it, the way you talk and the accent you adopt is much more important than the pitch of your voice.
So no. Developing a higher pitched voice is not required to pass.
However, abandoning an effort to pass because you're pissed off that you have to transition to start with is half-assing it. If you have the intention to transition, then transition. Don't just drop the harder parts of it and then use the excuse that it's society's fault. If you're already conforming so far as to switch your gender to be perceived in such a way, then at least be consistent and driven about it.
I think it is more inflection than pitch. Lauren Bacall has a deep voice and she was a sex symbol in her younger days. And the selection of words used. Women do not seem use slang or vulgarity, as much as men do. Women seem to be more eloquent in their speech, and not so short or clipped.
"Hear, hear!" A round of applause for Janet, please! That is about the best illustration on voice training I have heard so far. I have a wee bit of trouble differentiating between inflection and pitch but the way you describe it sounds about right to me.
There is no need to feel intimidated with the idea of voice training. The idea and requirement at the beginning is to train your voice to be more in character with who you are, the you that you present, a voice in the beginning that is easy to adapt to and you feel comfortable with. If you wish to improve on it later, you can do so at your leisure.
As Annwyn said, it does appear that some African American women have a deeper almost male pitch quality to their voice. You will find the same with North American Natives, Italians, Scandinavians, and in some other Caucasian women. In most cases you will find they are rather, "ahem!", generously-proportioned women. But it's not necessarily always the case. I would have to say there are inconsistencies in this theory. "Hey, Ma!" "Too many holes in the canoe, I'm afeered one tomater can will never keep up."
I have also known women my size and smaller who have deeper voices than I. My ex sounded like a lumberjack compared to me, and swore like one too, so there goes that theory about women not swearing as much as the guys, well in part anyway. But I do believe on the average that women seem to be more respectful of how they speak in public places. The deep voice maybe is a hereditary thing, I cannot say with certainty.
Whether inflection or pitch, I would describe my voice before I started any training as one of those half way voices, like if the person I spoke to had their back turned to me, they would address me back as ma'am, until they turned to look at me, same as on the tely.
So with that advantage in mind, there was not much adjusting to do to allow my voice to sound more feminine.
The screaming? I can't really explain that one, I never practiced it, it just came out that way. Maybe it can be attributed in part to 9 years on HRT and having trained my voice to sound more feminine, or at least above my natural voice. My new voice after nine years, I suppose, would become my natural voice. Oh well, if this post is as clear as mud then you have my permission to make mud pies.
Cindy
I was think more in the realm of tone as opposed pitch. Too many people think that they need a higher pitch when really one just needs to higher resistance. I have found that by using the upper part of my larynx that my voice natural becomes more feminine. I guess we should maybe call it frequency. Most people think the the falsetto if higher in pitch but it is really higher in frequency.
But most important is to lose the slurring of words and the clipping of speech. And lose the hip speak or whatever it is called now a days. Listen to the more mature women when they speak. You don't hear things like 'Whazup' or crud like that. They speak in softer tones and use the entire language. If you are with your friends then maybe you could get away with the talk. But I will guarantee you that they will wonder why you don't speak like a woman.
It is not cool or hip to be using the hip talk when you are trying to learn to use your feminine voice. Most people don't talk like that, unless you hang out with the gangsta crowd. And they are not most people. Just sit and listen to women speak even on television and you will see that the is a certain way women speak.
Sorry for the rant there but you will never convince anyone you are a woman, unless you learn to be more eloquent in your speech. And that does not mean you need to speak Elizabethan ether. Your words should have a flow to them.
The worst habitual cuss word I find that is hard to get rid of is the F word. I have a few other choice ones but I lock them up in the closet before I leave the house.
Some day I need to get a recording of my voice to post on here. I can't explain if it is pitch, tone or frequency. I just only know is it doesn't really vary much from my original voice but is quite passable, I suppose as you say and elder lady type voice, except for the scream, it is quite teeny bopper sounding.
Or the teeny bopper voice I use when I am messing around with Wing Walker, the cutsie shmootsie thing she calls it. I like that, probably one of the bestest compliments I ever had in many years.
Anyway that is pretty well the limit I can go on my knowledge of voice training. For anyone who hasn't already seen it here is the only friend I had who helped me some in my voice training. Meet my little lady friend, I call her, Daisy Mae.
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=s7qSJ19f_QU&feature=related (http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=s7qSJ19f_QU&feature=related)
But my voice is what i trained myself to do, it is unique unto myself, I couldn't afford a voice trainer.
Cindy
Quote from: Miss Bev on October 14, 2008, 10:24:13 AM
What do you think? Should you feminize your voice?
I just "me-a-sized" it, lol. I dunno if it's a female voice, but it IS Kate's voice ;)
I have this HUGE hangup about ever seeming like I'm "faking" something (to others OR myself), so even though I can occasionally "do" a perfectly passable female voice if I really try (like when the stars align and my voice actually cooperates), I'm much more content just relaxing and going with whatever comes out. It's more a product of my mood and feelings, then an intentionally "female voice."
Or maybe that's just what I tell myself because I'm terribly jealous of those of you who CAN do a perfect female voice 24/7, lol...
Kate
Hi Kate, that was why I was wishing there was a way to record a voice that can be downloaded and played back here without having to buy all kind of software and hardware to record it on You tube. I don't know computerese well enough to do that. Unless some one can give me a good educated computerese made simple instructions on how to do it.
Cindy
yes I believe that voice is important and finding it a frustrating endever indeed I am changing slowley still deeper than I would like and sired on the phone but then again slot of women are sirred on the phone I guess the trick is not to bother you correct when nessary and keep on trying
Bethany :laugh:
With regard to whether I should feminise my voice or not... that doesn't much matter to me. If I went on what I should or shouldn't do then I'd be a completely different person to who I am now, and would likely not be here.
For me personally, I want to, but not for any quantifiable benefit other than it would, in my own mind and sense of identity, bring me that one step closer to who I feel I am. My inner voice doesn't match the one that comes out of my mouth... it sounds different, more female. I don't really like my male voice, it sounds... wrong. If I can somehow bring the two closer together then that will make me happy.
Everything else is a by-product. :)
I will get hated for this... but heck, why break the habbit of a lifetime?
IF one wants to be accepted as female, this is no god given right unless you are cisgender... deal with it...
developing a female voice, if you do not have one is as vital as looking female is to passing... The sort of transwomen who will do no more than throw a frilly frock on and perhaps weave a flower into thier beard and demand acceptance as females can go whistle... if you WANT to be taken seriously as a female in our society, conform to a few of its expectations... ie sound and try to look like a woman... if you dont want to... I hear they are letting space on the moon...
Yeah, seriously. There is no such thing as "should." There's only what works vs. what fails in the real world. If you intend to achieve a given outcome, be prepared to do what's required to make it work in a practical sense. If you don't care about the outcome, then never mind...
If your goal is to live and function socially as a woman, to be accepted as a woman in general society, it requires a reasonably female voice among many other things. If your goal is to be transgender, then you can mix up male and female characteristics as you please, and you will be known as transgender--but probably not as a woman.
In either case, "should" is just an illusion. Certain actions will produce certain outcomes, that's all. Your choice.
I personally felt it was extremely important for me to develop some sort of feminine-sounding voice. The need has diminished a bit as I've gotten more comfortable with my presentation, but earlier on I was very neurotic about "blending perfectly." (I think that's normal with people who have spent their whole lives hiding that part of themselves, but at some point things ease up; my goal now is to "be myself; blend as well as that allows; and be the sort of person that someone won't care if I'm trans even if they discern it.")
I wanted to transition for a long period of time but was unable, so I did use that time to start practicing my voice, since that's something I could do privately without impacting my then-current male existence. A year before I started going out, I had established the basics for an acceptable female voice, and then over the next year just kept practicing so as to be ready when I finally went out -- although I really do think you learn more in a month of going out and USING the voice in real-time with other people than you do in a year of sitting alone at home talking to yourself.
Part of my needing a good voice was insecurity; but I also am one not to make waves if I can avoid it; and I find it very disconcerting when extremely good looking transwomen go out and shock people by speaking in "guy at the bar" voices. It also seems to me that a certain mentality comes out in speaking like a guy, that carries over into behavior and manner; it's all connected. I think for me, personally, I also really like my female-sounding voice a great deal compared to my old one.
Ultimately, my personal preferences aside, I'd say it's still an individual choice over how one approaches voice; but I think that if one chooses to use a voice that does not adequately match appearance, one should be prepared to accept the negative social ramifications that occur because of that, which could range just from negativity and tension in social settings to not being able to keep a job, not finding love interests, having fights over bathroom usage, just a HOST of frictions. Do what you want; but accept that you'll have to also pay for it to some degree. I avoid what social conflicts I can, so as to only have to deal with the ones that matter.
You make a good point Jenny, I'm not sure why its hard for me to change my voice, but in some ways I know it's the insecurity of making that change...It's one of the hardest parts of this transistion. I think it's because we are so identified as individuals by the voice people recognize from us...I always feel that Chris will be gone forever from all the people I know once I start using a more feminine voice. But part of me also knows like everything else with this transition, I will get used to it and so will others...