Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Non-binary talk => Topic started by: Eva Marie on November 16, 2008, 04:50:30 PM

Title: Got mam'ed today at the grocery store
Post by: Eva Marie on November 16, 2008, 04:50:30 PM
So today I run up to the grocery store. I have on jeans, a long sleeve shirt, some sneakers, and a cap since I didn't feel like messing with my hair. Not feminine in ANY way, or trying to be. Just in a hurry.

At the checkout a young girl that worked there asked me how I was doing, SIR. I said fine. Small talk, etc.

When checkout was done, she eventuality had a change of mind. Said have a nice day, MAM.

I'm still trying to figure out what made her change her mind. Something must be showing even though I can't see it.
Title: Re: Got mam'ed today at the grocery store
Post by: je on November 16, 2008, 04:56:45 PM
If you are on the mones, it tends to happen. ;)
Title: Re: Got mam'ed today at the grocery store
Post by: Janet_Girl on November 16, 2008, 05:10:43 PM
Obliviously something told her that her first impression was wrong.  Maybe the way you talked or in a gesture or just in your looks.  if you are on HRT, maybe it was the boobs.  By who cares you got "ma am" without trying. * Giggles *

Right ON, Girl.
Title: Re: Got mam'ed today at the grocery store
Post by: Nicky on November 16, 2008, 05:53:32 PM
Sounds like a perfect interaction to me to get sired and mam'd within the same conversation. Strangly I get Mam'd at McDonalds more than anywhere (not that I eat there that often, but my wife says burgers help her morning sickness). I don't think they really look at you at a fast food joint.
Title: Re: Got mam'ed today at the grocery store
Post by: gina on November 16, 2008, 06:01:03 PM
Good for you !  ;) Its always a nice feeling when this happens.  :)

gina
Title: Re: Got mam'ed today at the grocery store
Post by: Hazumu on November 16, 2008, 08:31:22 PM
What I can't figure out is how on the telephone, without giving my name, some automatically gender me female, and others automatically gender me male.

Of course, if I were to start with "Hi, I'm Karen Savage," it doesn't count.

Karen (  ;) :D )
Title: Re: Got mam'ed today at the grocery store
Post by: Pica Pica on November 17, 2008, 05:17:53 AM
I don't think I'd like to be sirred or mamed because I am neither a knight or the queen. Up north they call you duck and pet and love, but it's not really gendered.. There was a fad in London for calling men 'boss' which I always felt insulting, it was obvious looking at me scrubbing tables that I was in no way a boss. One man kept calling me petal, but I think he was just doing that to get a reaction from me.
Title: Re: Got mam'ed today at the grocery store
Post by: geena53 on November 21, 2008, 10:47:03 AM
It always feels good when someone calls me ma'am!

But the most memorable one was the big ol'guy that called me a "friggen dyke"! I think my smile unnerved him a little! HeHe!

Geena
Title: Re: Got mam'ed today at the grocery store
Post by: Jaimey on November 21, 2008, 10:32:02 PM
I'm offended by ma'am.  Not because it's a feminine term...but because I'M NOT THAT FRICKIN' OLD!!!
Title: Re: Got mam'ed today at the grocery store
Post by: sparkles on November 22, 2008, 01:11:39 AM
i find its the way you interact with people that does it
Title: Re: Got mam'ed today at the grocery store
Post by: Anisha on November 22, 2008, 06:11:47 AM
Its really good as Janet said you got mammed without trying..
Title: Re: Got mam'ed today at the grocery store
Post by: AndreaK on November 23, 2008, 06:25:20 PM
I think the amount of times I've been called miss, lady etc over the years (without any attempt to look feminine) has been a large influence on identifying who I am.

Just remembered a good one from a couple of weeks back. Bearing in mind I dress completely male at the moment and look pretty unkempt, I answered the door and there was a bloke delivering flowers. He did a small double take and said, "Oh, not *quite* Miss <mypartnersname> but here you go" and handed me the flowers. As usual I'm flattered and annoyed at the same time.
Title: Re: Got mam'ed today at the grocery store
Post by: Bethany W on December 03, 2008, 10:27:49 PM
I used to get it alot when I was younger. Im male bodied and I remember when I was about 14 I got hit on by a lesbian who thought I was a college aged lesbian. I got mam'ed by a lady working at Qdoba even when I had a little facial hair.
Title: Re: Got mam'ed today at the grocery store
Post by: Jade H on December 04, 2008, 11:12:56 AM
My "oddest" experience (in total male mode) was leaving a public "gents" facility in a busy shopping mall...
These 2 (youngish) men (chatting away to each other) enter the toilets - Both look up at me, "Sorry mam"... walk back out to check the sign above the doorway... shake their heads, check the "ladies" sign next door and then cautiosly re-enter the "gents"... My wife thought it was hillarious...
Title: Re: Got mam'ed today at the grocery store
Post by: sparkles on December 04, 2008, 01:42:35 PM
was in the shop the other day in male mode really scruffy as i was doing diy and the chap next to me told the assistent to serve the lady first, the shop assistant looked a little confused. i really think there is some sort of perseption that we give off that just signal to some people we are other to what we appear. i was well shocked at the time. also the other night at the youth club i did have a new girl as her friend if i was male or female after quite a bit as she was not sure.
Title: Re: Got mam'ed today at the grocery store
Post by: Cyndigurl45 on December 04, 2008, 01:50:17 PM
In reading some others post, is that correct english? I have noted an increase in being ma'amed in very male mode, all I did was change my hair style?? and the ma'am's then double takes and some head scratching and apologies I just smile and in my best feminine voice say it's OK sweetie, I suppose HRT has effected me more then I realize. OH and my hair style nothing drastic a little longer perhaps with some fliped bangs to make my frankinstien forehead smaller and thats it....
Title: Re: Got mam'ed today at the grocery store
Post by: Nicky on December 04, 2008, 02:03:52 PM
I saw a picture of you somewhere Cyndigurl where you are stitting at your computer all made up, dressed to kill, very beautiful, but casually drinking a beer like your out with the guys (at least I remember seeing a pic like that, maybe my mind is making things up). Anyway I really liked that pic. I love that contrasting image.
Title: Re: Got mam'ed today at the grocery store
Post by: Cyndigurl45 on December 04, 2008, 03:59:38 PM
Quote from: Nicky on December 04, 2008, 02:03:52 PM
I saw a picture of you somewhere Cyndigurl where you are stitting at your computer all made up, dressed to kill, very beautiful, but casually drinking a beer like your out with the guys (at least I remember seeing a pic like that, maybe my mind is making things up). Anyway I really liked that pic. I love that contrasting image.
OMG I was playing strip poker and getting drunked up, thanks for memory lane

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Flh3.ggpht.com%2F_CUZ9AnWZsSA%2FSTki6fH4KeI%2FAAAAAAAAAIk%2FKQVTcx7lx-w%2Fs144%2FBeer101.jpg&hash=0e66f8587f985ad7579ae1b87753b63580149bcc)
Title: Re: Got mam'ed today at the grocery store
Post by: JonasCarminis on December 07, 2008, 04:41:17 PM
i like it when the girls can be "one of the guys".  theyre the most fun. :)
Title: Re: Got mam'ed today at the grocery store
Post by: Jaimey on December 10, 2008, 05:49:23 PM
I've always been one of the guys...and I like it that way.  One of my favorite compliments when I was a kid was that I threw like a boy.  :D
Title: Re: Got mam'ed today at the grocery store
Post by: Eva Marie on December 10, 2008, 11:03:05 PM
Quote from: Jaimey on December 10, 2008, 05:49:23 PM
I've always been one of the guys...and I like it that way.  One of my favorite compliments when I was a kid was that I threw like a boy.  :D

I throw like a girl  :embarrassed: and have the girly elbows (always amanda definition) to show for it. I could never throw someone out at 2nd base from behind the plate (I was a catcher). Dang it  :-\
Title: Re: Got mam'ed today at the grocery store
Post by: Shana A on December 11, 2008, 08:04:36 AM
Quote from: Jaimey on December 10, 2008, 05:49:23 PM
I've always been one of the guys...and I like it that way.  One of my favorite compliments when I was a kid was that I threw like a boy.  :D

I was always told I threw like a girl, and although no one meant it as a complement, I took it as one anyway ;D

Z <proudly sissy>
Title: Re: Got mam'ed today at the grocery store
Post by: vanna on December 11, 2008, 08:25:06 AM
Quote from: Jaimey on November 21, 2008, 10:32:02 PM
I'm offended by ma'am.  Not because it's a feminine term...but because I'M NOT THAT FRICKIN' OLD!!!

lmao
my sentiments exactly

I only respond to Miss these days.
Title: Re: Got mam'ed today at the grocery store
Post by: goingdown on December 11, 2008, 08:28:18 AM
Nobody has called me Miss even I think that I pass (?). It is cultural difference and age difference also but sometimes I am worried about my passing at this kind of situations.   
Title: Re: Got mam'ed today at the grocery store
Post by: Cyndigurl45 on December 11, 2008, 12:29:14 PM
The other day I had on sweat pants and a hoodie, and some guy asked if if I knew who Darra Torres was I said yes he said you look like her........ no makeup not trying my wife was in the other isle wuzwitdat
Title: Re: Got mam'ed today at the grocery store
Post by: krisalyx on December 12, 2008, 04:34:25 AM
oh my this has been happening to me a lot like earler in the week when i was buying some drinks at walmart, the lady who was checking my credit card first said ma'mm i need to check your card she first stared at my breast for a sec and then stared at my face, i mean i'm glad about that but it's both a great complment, & kind of sad for the day (i hope) where this ugly male body & my horrid male name will both die)