Hi everyone.
I was married in Sept. (I am a woman). to a transman. Two weeks ago he moved out because he wants to live the life of a single guy. He is on "T" and completed his transition. I was there with him every step of the way.
He stated he is confused and is not sure if he is in love with me. We did a documentary on MSNBC that will air 12/28 @ 10 pm. It is about him and our getting married. I am looking for individuals to talk to regarding what I am going thru and well as what he is going thru.
Thank you :-)
Hon, I dont know if I can offer much but a Hug, I dont really know him so it would be difficult to say what he is thinking. For myself personally I am kind of in your situation and am trying my hardest to keep my mariage in one piece and am only in the middle of my transition. Do you and him see a Therapist? Perhaps you could also gain some insight there also. I would hope that he is seeing a Therapist still. Transition is a difficult thing to go through, emotions, thoughts, lifestyles just to make mention of a few.
You sound like a very loving and caring person to go through this with him and I am sorry that this is happening to you now that you have invested so much of yourself. I do hope that you can continue to communicate with him and solve this dilemna. Again, Hugs
Wendy
Get a lawyer and sue him for divorce. Nothing says 'living the life of a single guy' like making those monthly payments to the ex.
Greeneyez,
After the chat last night. If you want him back. Go ahead and let him live alone, but tell him he has to give spousal support. Like Tekla said "Nothing says 'living the life of a single guy' like making those monthly payments to the ex."
And OMG I agreed with Tekla again. I am going to be struck down by lighting. And if you need to talk I am on YIM. See profile for ID.
Janet
Thank you all for your words of wisdom. Yes, he just started seeing a lesbian therapist last week. She told him to cut all ties with me. So...as of today I told him not more calls or seeing me.
I am hurting so badly and MSNBC has started their commercials for the documentary. I cried last night...he looked so handsome in his tux. I am looking forward and very excited about seeing the show tomorrow night. I am hoping that those who watch it will see that those in the community deserve all rights as hetero's...trans individuals are very special people...native americans call them two souls in one body and I believe this to be true!!!
Hi Greeneyez,
I'm sorry to hear what you are going through. I tend to agree with Emme on this. I remember my own therapist, who also happend to be a lesbian, recommend that my wife and I try to come to terms and see if we could keep our marriage working. I truly hope the best for you. If that is the road he chooses, then like the others have said, it may be time for him to pay up for the effort and support you provided.
Dear friends,
Thank you all for your advice. This is the newest edition to my story. He told me he had gone out with his FTM friend and his girlfriend to a gay club last week. A drag queen came on to him and so he made out with "her" and who knows what else. I believe the worst reading in between his lines. Since I can not speak to him anymore(words from his therapist) I called his friend and told him to relay the message...I want all of his things out by the first of the year and I am asking for a divorce!!!
I could have tried to work things out with...making out with two straight women but this??? A drag queen...???
I am sooo upset and can't stop crying.
I will still watch the MSNBC documentary airing tonight with a broken heart :-(
Oh Hon, I am so sorry to hear this, but you know what you need. I hope you say here and get the support you need.
But if you decide to leave, I understand. Hope to see you in chat. And I am always on YIM, if you need a friend to talk to.
Janet
I am very sorry that he is taking you for granted like this. :-\ You sound like a lovely person, and I hope he wakes up one day and realizes what he threw away. I wish you good luck. :) And if you ever want other significant others to talk to, don't be afraid to check us out- we have our own lil' forum a little further down the main page. :D
Oh Greeneyez, I am so sorry to hear this. I'm an SO too. My partner is MtF but we're still in the 'pre' everything stage and it's the change part that scares us both, my big fear is mostly her wanting something different than, well, me I guess.
I hope everything goes well for you, one way or the other, but I think you should stick around, very supportive community here. If you ever need an SO to talk to don't hesitate to drop me a line.