Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Non-binary talk => Topic started by: El on January 15, 2009, 05:53:59 AM

Title: The fear
Post by: El on January 15, 2009, 05:53:59 AM
How do you steel yourself against the outside and present as androgyne? Fear of what other people think, its a big obsticle especially if you live out in the sticks where everyone knows everyone and people who are different are ostricised.

Please share any tactics you have or experiences you have had.
Title: Re: The fear
Post by: Nero on January 15, 2009, 07:26:24 AM
Do you mean 'coming out' and making it known you are androgyne? Like dressing and such?
Title: Re: The fear
Post by: Constance on January 15, 2009, 11:02:09 AM
Currently, my presentation isn't very androgynous. Without HRT, it would be very difficult to suppress my beard; it grows very fast. I usually present as a man or as a man in women's clothes.

But, I try to dress in unisex clothing styles. That's how I try to pull it off.
Title: Re: The fear
Post by: Jeneva on January 15, 2009, 11:38:27 AM
Quote from: Shades O'Grey on January 15, 2009, 11:02:09 AM
Without HRT, it would be very difficult to suppress my beard; it grows very fast.
Sorry, but HRT isn't supposed to help with beard growth  :(
Title: Re: The fear
Post by: Constance on January 15, 2009, 12:48:40 PM
Quote from: hiddenflame on January 15, 2009, 11:38:27 AM
Quote from: Shades O'Grey on January 15, 2009, 11:02:09 AM
Without HRT, it would be very difficult to suppress my beard; it grows very fast.
Sorry, but HRT isn't supposed to help with beard growth  :(
If I was taking T, yes. But, in theory, taking female hormones would stunt the beard growth.
Title: Re: The fear
Post by: Nicky on January 15, 2009, 01:05:44 PM
I had really thick fast facial hair growth too - laser took care of most of that (still some to do). Hormones won't remove the beard shadow though you might see a reduction in the rate it grows.

Good question. I've been asking myself the same thing now that I have crossed some sort of line where my appearance can't be shrugged off.

I've been gradually changing my appearance for some time now and I have found that I can't go back. A lot of it is to do with a shift in mental attitude - I'm no longer simply discovering and exploring my androgyne self and experiencing it in little bits. I have shed the protective coating and I'm just androgyne now.

In the beginning I tended to approach it as all in good fun. If you can joke about it with other people and laugh at yourself then it makes things easier. I think gradual change is important. This allows people to get used to you and you used to being yourself. I don't really fear what people think now. I more fear how it will affect my family, my job chances, or getting beaten on the street sort of thing. I can handle stares and comments. I'm starting to think that the outside is not something you steel yourself against, but as something you let in. Be the ambassador, show them your world, be proud and fierce. Also don't ostracise other people for being different, stand up for those that need a champion.

If you fear for your safety then I would suggest moving away from the sticks.

Title: Re: The fear
Post by: Jeneva on January 15, 2009, 01:13:50 PM
Quote from: Shades O'Grey on January 15, 2009, 12:48:40 PM
Quote from: hiddenflame on January 15, 2009, 11:38:27 AM
Quote from: Shades O'Grey on January 15, 2009, 11:02:09 AM
Without HRT, it would be very difficult to suppress my beard; it grows very fast.
Sorry, but HRT isn't supposed to help with beard growth  :(
If I was taking T, yes. But, in theory, taking female hormones would stunt the beard growth.
Please provide some sort of reference to that, that is 100% the opposite of what everyone usually says.
This is usually what is said
T for a FTM (or female bodied androgyne) does provide a beard
E for a MTF (or male bodied androgyne) does not remove a beard

E will reduce body hair, but the whole reason we all have to face electrolysis or laser is that once you have a beard you have a beard.

edit: to make FTM/MTF more inclusive of androgynes too [this is THEIR forum]
Title: Re: The fear
Post by: Constance on January 15, 2009, 01:17:28 PM
Perhaps my research thus far has been incomplete or incorrect. I am a bio-male with vast quantities of facial and body hair. It has been my understanding that hormone replacement therapy (taking E) would help reduce the hair.

Yet, according to what I've learned, E would cause other changes that I might not want just yet. It's a spot of bother for me as a androgyne: how to present that is reflective of how I actually perceive myself.
Title: Re: The fear
Post by: Nero on January 15, 2009, 01:46:16 PM
i've heard that it softens and thins body hair.
Title: Re: The fear
Post by: Nicky on January 15, 2009, 01:52:40 PM
Quote from: Nero on January 15, 2009, 01:46:16 PM
i've heard that it softens and thins body hair.

yep. I'm pretty sure that is true. For some reason estorgen does not have as big an effect on facial hair.

We probably need a MtF to give their experience on this - someone that started out as a walking carpet.
Title: Re: The fear
Post by: Constance on January 15, 2009, 01:58:49 PM
Quote from: Nicky on January 15, 2009, 01:52:40 PM
Quote from: Nero on January 15, 2009, 01:46:16 PM
i've heard that it softens and thins body hair.

yep. I'm pretty sure that is true. For some reason estorgen does not have as big an effect on facial hair.

We probably need a MtF to give their experience on this - someone that started out as a walking carpet.
Ah, I was mistaken, then.
Title: Re: The fear
Post by: Nicky on January 15, 2009, 02:01:55 PM
I think this is a really common perception so don't feel too bad. The only bummer is if you planned on estrogen helping in that way you now need to think about other hair removal.

Cindy uses some sort of cream on her face which retards all hair growth. She has to use it every day but it avoids the cost and pain of other hair removal methods.
Title: Re: The fear
Post by: Jeneva on January 15, 2009, 02:17:57 PM
Quote from: Shades O'Grey on January 15, 2009, 01:58:49 PM
Ah, I was mistaken, then.
I truly wish you weren't :D
Title: Re: The fear
Post by: Susan on January 15, 2009, 05:55:05 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-wGMlSuX_c (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-wGMlSuX_c)
Title: Re: The fear
Post by: Nicky on January 15, 2009, 06:04:00 PM
Love to see what you posted Susan, but alas I can't view it at work.  :(

Will have to see it later when I get home.
Title: Re: The fear
Post by: Sophie90 on January 15, 2009, 07:45:37 PM
Quote from: Susan on January 15, 2009, 05:55:05 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-wGMlSuX_c (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-wGMlSuX_c)
Ftw. <3



Well, hair is a big issue.

It has the power to perplex people like nothing else.

(Except the Tardis...)
Title: Re: The fear
Post by: Janet_Girl on January 15, 2009, 09:08:29 PM
Did someone say The Tardis?
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.tribe.net%2Ftribe%2Fupload%2Fphoto%2F159%2F751%2F15975185-d83c-4ac0-bf95-e813b564e8ac&hash=2e1c4ca441a34e3951aa9d76f7086d7748fcc2d0)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v9CjA_Fu4EE (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v9CjA_Fu4EE)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbLZvzMOZpc (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbLZvzMOZpc)
Title: Re: The fear
Post by: El on January 16, 2009, 04:07:53 AM
 :o my topic took off!!!!

and susans posted in it!!!!

and she posted an awesome song XD!!!!!

Good answers so far guys, especially nicky that was exactly the sort of response i was looking for
Title: Re: The fear
Post by: Pica Pica on January 17, 2009, 01:14:46 AM
i've been in a TARDIS at MOMI.
Title: Re: The fear
Post by: sparkles on January 17, 2009, 01:15:32 AM
i appear to have reached to middle somewhat and at times stepped over it, the problem with being in the middle is the expectation that people have that you will give them the gender they want and get confused when you dont, like dressing female though having a male name, people go oh, not a girl then. or looking male and then doing something really fem. or a big one for me going in the male changing rooms and having a control top and knickers on when getting changed people do think you shoud be in the other side :)
Title: Re: The fear
Post by: Nicky on January 19, 2009, 01:58:43 PM
Quote from: sparkles on January 17, 2009, 01:15:32 AM
or a big one for me going in the male changing rooms and having a control top and knickers on when getting changed people do think you shoud be in the other side :)

I've had a similar problem lately. I've gotten rid of almost all my male underwear Most of my knickers probably would go unnoticed in the male changing room at my swimming pool. But recently I started wearing some lacy ones and tend to forget they might not be so appropriate for the male changing rooms. If I had more confidence I don't think it would matter. 
Title: Re: The fear
Post by: Susan on January 19, 2009, 07:58:17 PM
Quote from: El on January 16, 2009, 04:07:53 AM
:o my topic took off!!!!

and susans posted in it!!!!

and she posted an awesome dong XD!!!!!

Good answers so far guys, especially nicky that was exactly the sort of response i was looking for

Glad I could make your day! See I am not a figment of your imagination, I really do exist.... Queue Santa Claus... "She does exist!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=woJqngwB6EA (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=woJqngwB6EA)
Title: Re: The fear
Post by: El on January 21, 2009, 09:11:52 AM
epic fail mis-spelling song though :s