Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Female to male transsexual talk (FTM) => Topic started by: AndrewLC on January 15, 2009, 01:32:24 PM

Title: Help me pass more?
Post by: AndrewLC on January 15, 2009, 01:32:24 PM
I know, you probably all hate these threads with a passion, but please, do you have any tips to help me pass?


(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fphotos-f.ak.fbcdn.net%2Fphotos-ak-snc1%2Fv2070%2F45%2F107%2F205400513%2Fn205400513_30798226_4659.jpg&hash=b40bc76e177af9c1537fd3914de899a58570b6ce)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fphotos-f.ak.fbcdn.net%2Fphotos-ak-sf2p%2Fv333%2F45%2F107%2F205400513%2Fn205400513_30737650_1540.jpg&hash=c2dc6f81335a4e9a12425934b6e28edfeb0c10fe)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fphotos-f.ak.fbcdn.net%2Fphotos-ak-sf2p%2Fv333%2F45%2F107%2F205400513%2Fn205400513_30737493_6309.jpg&hash=eed11431d24cb26dafce76da1ea49a686a223763)
Title: Re: Help me pass more?
Post by: Yochanan on January 15, 2009, 02:14:43 PM
The first thing everyone told me was "Don't smile!" So that might be a place to start. (I thought it was rather depressive advice, but I just switched to smiling on the inside rather than the outside.)
Title: Re: Help me pass more?
Post by: AndrewLC on January 15, 2009, 02:21:55 PM
I want to pass, but I'm a pretty darn happy person.

I was talking more in terms of, y'know, haircut advice?  Or something.
Title: Re: Help me pass more?
Post by: Dennis on January 15, 2009, 02:31:56 PM
I would say one thing - don't tilt your head in pictures. Look straight on. Smiling's ok (see? I'm smiling in my avatar), but tilting your head will cue viewers to female.

The rest looks fine. Haircut, shirt, the rest of it.

Dennis
Title: Re: Help me pass more?
Post by: icontact on January 15, 2009, 06:01:21 PM
Don't slouch. Standing up straight will make your shoulders look wider, which is the only giveaway that I see in that picture. Good posture is good for you anyways.
Title: Re: Help me pass more?
Post by: Andrew on January 17, 2009, 12:38:29 PM
Whoah, whoah. I know both of the other people in the picture. Weird. I'll PM you.
Title: Re: Help me pass more?
Post by: Red_Rachel on January 17, 2009, 09:17:03 PM
I think letting your hair go a little longer on a top and having some slightly bigger glasses would help. Oh, and like someone else said, keep your head straight. But I think you do very well!
Title: Re: Help me pass more?
Post by: Hazard "AJ" on January 18, 2009, 10:50:32 AM
I have my hair shaved. But even when i had long hair with it up i would pass and that was on the street the one thing that i didnt pass with in pics were my bressed as there not that small. I rearly smile in pics the best tip for pics i can give u is pose more like a man would. Also have a manley faceul fictuer like grit ur teeth why? Cuz it shows ur jar bone more. Make ur face more harder try not to make it so soft.

Post Merge: January 18, 2009, 10:50:44 AM

Title: Re: Help me pass more?
Post by: Mr. Fox on January 18, 2009, 11:09:31 AM
I'm going to go against the grain here and say don't worry about manly posing.  Why?  Because in real life, you're not going to holding your neck rigid and gritting your teeth all day.  It is good that you gave a picture where you weren't at your manliest, so we won't just go "Oh, gee, what a man."  The advice given is useful if you're getting your picture taken for the yearbook or something.
Title: Re: Help me pass more?
Post by: Nero on January 18, 2009, 12:05:20 PM
I'm certainly no expert on this but I would say it's probably something about the glasses and the haircut could change. I'd actually say let your hair grow a bit. With it flat and away from your face like that, it looks more girly. The glasses, I don't know. Maybe it's more the hair than the glasses.

Take with bushel of salt as I certainly don't pass but this is what stands out to me.
Title: Re: Help me pass more?
Post by: AndrewLC on January 18, 2009, 12:43:35 PM
All this advice is so depressing!  Don't smile, grit your teeth, etc.

But thanks for the advice about growing out my hair and such.

As for pictures... heck, I was happy to be with my buddies at new years!  I think it would look rather silly if I'd been gritting my teeth while my friends were grinning next to me  ;D  Yearbook isn't a problem - I'm in college and we do have a "magazine" that we put out at the end of the year, but it's not hardbound or anything like that, and we pick whatever picture we want in it, so I can just take picture after picture until I have one I like.

But yeah, I'm thinking about new glasses. 
Title: Re: Help me pass more?
Post by: Mister on January 18, 2009, 05:16:55 PM
and you need either a binder or a better binder. 
Title: Re: Help me pass more?
Post by: AndrewLC on January 18, 2009, 05:56:20 PM
I have DDs.  I think I'm binding pretty effectively, considering the circumstances.
Title: Re: Help me pass more?
Post by: Mister on January 18, 2009, 05:59:55 PM
I used to have them as well and if you were to see pre-surgery photos of me, you wouldn't see evidence of breasts.  Check out T Kingdom's binders with the adjustable velcro.  They do wonders.
Title: Re: Help me pass more?
Post by: Nero on January 18, 2009, 06:17:43 PM
Quote from: AndrewLC on January 18, 2009, 05:56:20 PM
I have DDs.  I think I'm binding pretty effectively, considering the circumstances.

me too. i feel ya. mine won't 'push down' either. so no pushing them downward. that's what makes mine show. too round to push.
Title: Re: Help me pass more?
Post by: JonasCarminis on January 18, 2009, 09:44:14 PM
andrew, the first pic, its the head tilt and smile.  second pic is betterm but your legs are too close together.  also try baggier jeans.  they help hide your thighs.  girls have naturally bigger thighs.  third pic, looks like youre wearing a bra.  make sure all those are in check and that would help a lot.
Title: Re: Help me pass more?
Post by: Jay on January 19, 2009, 03:25:46 AM
Tilting the head is a bad no no. Also smiling too.. Unless you have been on T
a while.

Second pic like Josh said get some baggier jeans, hide hips etc. And also keep
your hands to your side.

The third pic isn't that bad!
Title: Re: Help me pass more?
Post by: AndrewLC on January 19, 2009, 11:35:49 AM
Quote from: Mister on January 18, 2009, 05:59:55 PM
I used to have them as well and if you were to see pre-surgery photos of me, you wouldn't see evidence of breasts.  Check out T Kingdom's binders with the adjustable velcro.  They do wonders.

I'm *wearing* a t-kingdom binder with adjustable velcro.

I'm glad your breasts were magically made of that kind of tissue that just disappears when you look at it crosseyed, but mine aren't.

Thanks everyone else for their advice.

eta:
I guess I'm a little miffed.  A couple of you have been nice, but most of you are acting like those catty people in middle school who didn't actually want to help you out, only wanted to make themselves feel better by making everyone else feel bad.  I wasn't asking for advice on how to pass in pictures (head tilt, smile, etc) - I don't walk around with my head tilting to the side and grinning like a maniac.  I wasn't looking for everyone to say "You look fantastic!" but I'm just a little confused as to why everyone was *so* catty about it.  I dunno - struck me as strange on a site where people are supposed to offer support.

I also find it strange that you are so caught up on binding - Of the female-bodied people in my family, I have the smallest breasts with 32DD - I don't care what you say, you're lying if you say you can hide them entirely and still a) breathe and b) not wear clothes 42 sizes too large. 
Title: Re: Help me pass more?
Post by: Mister on January 19, 2009, 11:42:21 AM
They weren't.  they were fibrous as hell, but passing was important so i strapped them down.
Title: Re: Help me pass more?
Post by: AndrewLC on January 19, 2009, 11:47:13 AM
Passing is important to me, too and like I said, I use the binder you suggest (obviously not because you suggested it - I've had it for awhile now) but it's the way in which you presented yourself that I have a problem with.

You're making it sound like I don't really want to pass or like I'm somehow lesser than you because I can't get my breasts totally flat.  But using basic laws of physics, I can't make them totally flat.  I can wear baggy clothes, which I'm assuming is what you did whether or not you'll admit it, but I don't *have* many baggy clothes. 

Essentially, you are being rude and I'd like you to stop.
Title: Re: Help me pass more?
Post by: Mister on January 19, 2009, 11:48:03 AM
Quote
Quote
I also find it strange that you are so caught up on binding - Of the female-bodied people in my family, I have the smallest breasts with 32DD - I don't care what you say, you're lying if you say you can hide them entirely and still a) breathe and b) not wear clothes 42 sizes too large.

You asked what would help you pass better. I told you what I thought.  You can't hide them entirely, but they can be hidden more than your photos show both by binding properly and dressing in ways that don't show off your chest.  You do not need to wear clothing 42 sizes too big, you just need to be strategic.

Be miffed, dude, but you asked for input.  When you open yourself up to that sort of criticism, you have to be prepared to not like everything you hear.
Title: Re: Help me pass more?
Post by: AndrewLC on January 19, 2009, 12:02:03 PM
what you said would have been find IF you'd ask in any form a polite way.  You didn't.

"Have you heard about T-Kingdom binders?  I found that the velcro one worked best for me."

instead of

"you need a binder.  You could never tell I had breasts before surgery."

Common decorum is important, even online.
Title: Re: Help me pass more?
Post by: Mister on January 19, 2009, 12:07:23 PM
I said, "you need either a binder or a better binder."

I found a binder that worked for me, suggested you also try T-Kingdom because my 36DDD's were damn near invisible.  Between the binder and some strategic layers, you couldn't see them unless you were looking.  And no, I didn't have magical boobs that laid flat- I had fibrous monsters.

I don't sugar coat either IRL or on the internets.  You asked for an opinion, I gave you a polite one.  Hell, i even gave you a CENSORED opinion.