My name is Ginger and I'm really excited to have found this community. My story may be a little different than most. I am the open-minded, adult child of a FtM parent. My brother was born 4 years after myself, then my sister 4 years after him. We all have different fathers, my sister is the only one who knows her father. Somewhere between he and her, my mother had partial surgery and was living as a man when my sis was born. I blocked out much of my childhood and don't remember my mother at all. I only remember her as Daddy. I now realize that I never delt w/ the issues as they came about during my childhood, I just sort of pushed them behind me and moved forward. Nobody ever talked to me about what was going on, so I guess I had no choice. While most of my childhood was crap, that's not what I'm here for. My mother will be dead 6 years on 8/14. I want to understand what she went through. All this time I thought she only had a partial surgery due to her lack of funding. Reading through here, I think there are options as to what surgeries you can have?? Can someone explain this to me? Thank you for your help and patience!!
Ginger
Hi Ginger,
Welcome to Susan's.
I'm glad you found the site. Are you trangender or gender confused? You didn't say.
If your look for information this is the place. Please read the site rules at
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html) if you haven't already.
Then check out the Wiki with ton of info on the transexual.
Could be that your Mother/Father just didn't have the money to transition. Than again maybe he was afraid for his life beacause 80's and earlier society was very hard on transgenders that is an understatement. Society hated and feared transgender people.
I'm glad to meet you Gin and I'm looking froward to more of your postings.
:)
Jillieann
And lets not forget our huge Links section and the online Chat. :)
Welcome to Susan's indeed. I'm sure that you will find our site to be a great resource. There's is lots to explore and do, so please take the time to explore the site and don't be afraid to ask for help and advice as there is lots out there from a great bunch of members. Key to our success is participation so as soon as you are comfortable jump in and get your feet wet as you will find the water is quite refreshing :)
So relax enjoy your stay, you are among friends.
Steph
Ginger,
I am a FtM patent of 4 children. Infact, my top surgery is 2 days away. My children range in age from 15 to 9. My oldest daughter, Mariah is having the hardest time with trying to adjust to what I am doing. Just stick around, and read through the many posts you will find here. You can ask me anything, any time. You can send me a personal message too if you like. I wolud loke to know of your feelings, since I am going through some bad spots myself with my oldest. Welcome, and good to have you here.
Marco
Hello Ginger.
I think it's great that you want to understand your mother better.
As for FTM surgery, it may be that your mother was finished as far as he was concerned.
Not all FTMs desire bottom surgery (myself included).
Welcome and nice to meet you.
Nero
Hello Ginger:
Thank you so much for your introduction. As you can see, there are many people here dealing with several different issues about gender. I'm sure that most of your questions will be answered here, but remember that you can always ask anything you'd like. Please visit our wiki, for it contains a tremendous amount of information for members and non-members alike. Enjoy your stay and welcome!
tinkerbell (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi100.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fm37%2Frianmarze%2F2122088828.jpg&hash=fea410b0a02965082a33ff8e0be3212333c1ea02)
Goodmorning Ginger,
I'm S.O. (Signifigant Other) to Leah. Our stories are here in the introduction and MtoF( Male to Female) sections. As a S.O. yourself, being an important part of your Mother/Father's life when she was alive I welcome you to join the rest of us S.O.'s here at Susan's. I'm also on the Chat Staff and anytime you want to visit just personal message me and I'll meet you in chat. Also in common is that we are both Female by birth. What we experience and your Mother/Father did won't be the same I'm pretty sure but if you read many of the stories that other's of like mind to your Mother/Father and even the flipside of this the Male to females stories here you'll have a pretty good idea of what your dear one went through in her Journey. You should be awear that each ones Journey is different. Each one goes at his or her own speed for what ever reason. Be it emotional or financial, be it out of responsibilty to family or fear of them and for them or many time and most often out of love for them.
Other's have given maybe's as to why just so far in her transition. Remember you'll only really be able to speculate on this now that you are not able to ask her any more. But all are very valid reasons and you no dought will come to realize more possibilties too. Always keeping in mind she was only human with human needs and human desires having to figure out how best to meet them in a world that has a turned up nose to anything that is not the majority standards. Being different as some would say is not easy for anyone no matter how old or what back ground they come from.
From the sound of your post, you are needing to heal in your stages of grief in the loss of your parent. Also I sence from your chosen words you need to heal and process other grievences too. Child hood is a very important part of ones life regardless of it's nature. Everyones has parts they need to work through later in adult life. So feel free to share any part of this you feel the need to also or even if you feel comfortable enough to just share it because others here might benifit from it to as Marco suggested.
Your interest to learn more now is to be commended even though you will not be giving the on going living daily support these wonderful unique individuals require, you can lend a different kind of support to other's whom knew your Mother/Father. Even further to those whom come after as Grandchildren, Nieces and Nephews and just family friends. Support by sharing information and knowledge.
Everyone comes to terms with issues in their life at their on pace and time. Though shutting out and moving forword is one way to deal with events in ones life, it's not always the best way as it is only put off, still left for some tomorrow to bear it's effects on you and for you to face and deal with at some other point and time. Seaking peace and calm feelings when ever you think back on those childhood days and your relationship with your Mother/Father will only be just a little out of reach if this step in the grieving process is never taken.
Your need for knowledge about what she went through and how much she accomplished in her Transitioning Journey, and as you processed it and come to grips with all it intails will no dought be unerving and shocking and even hurtful. It may even cause you to feel guilty for how you think you may have or should have felt or something should have done or did do back when she/he was alive. Know that your Mother/Father would not have wanted you to feel this way. Know also that it is one of the steps to acceptance in all sences of the arena that needs your acceptence. There will also be a need to foregive and the knowledge you aquire here will allow you to do that to in your time. This step will also need to be taken to achieve that peacefulness and calmness when looking back at your life. It would only be natural to feel anger for not having had the typical childhood you feel you wanted and felt all your freinds had, the illusive rose garden everyone desires. Remember though Roses have thorns, look beautiful and smell sweet. Real life is pretty much the same. The thorns can leave scars no matter what type life one has.
Welcome here to a great group of people. I'm glad your here it will help so many of us see things through the eyes of a child who's been there and done that if you know what I mean. My contact information is in my profile just feel free to do what ever you wish in getting in touch if you desire to.
Smiles,
Peggiann
Thank you all for the welcome. I feel so much more comfortable all ready! I really can't wait to talk to you. I have a question....don't laugh. I don't know how to send personal messages. I'm not the computer whiz, in case you couldn't tell. Thanks for the help!
Ginger
Quote from: gin on August 05, 2006, 03:28:56 PM
Thank you all for the welcome. I feel so much more comfortable all ready! I really can't wait to talk to you. I have a question....don't laugh. I don't know how to send personal messages. I'm not the computer whiz, in case you couldn't tell. Thanks for the help!
Ginger
Hi, Ginger!
First you have to post a certain number of times -- I think 15 -- before you get the privelige of sending private messages to other members and get to upload your avatar.
DO read the site rules, here
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html
We want Susans to be a resource for the transgendered community, so you'll see quite a few moderators running about. You can contact a moderator or an administrator to ask about how stuff works, or the appropriateness of posting a URL (Rule 13).
Also, DO check out all the areas of Susans. To (mis)quote a book that was one of my favorites in my youth, "There seems to always be a bit more to see just around the next corner."
Karen
(edit: grammar)
hello and welcome ginger i to am ftm and would be more then happy to help in anyway i can
welcome to susans
jaded
Welcome to the forum Ginger. There are many here that can answer just about any question that you have. Beyond the facts, we have real people who are in various stages of transition. I hope you feel comfortable here.
Cindi
Hi, Ginger! Welcome! ! :)
helen
Hi Ginger,
Welcome to Susan's. There are many knowledgeable people here that can help answer any questions you have so plese feel free to ask. You are among friends here. Again Welcome! :angel:
Hugs,
Shannon
gin:
Welcom to susan's Gin. Thank you for giving us the opportunity to see the other side i for one am looking forward to your point of views and experiences I hope that we can make feel comfortable and i believe we will, there is a good group of caring people here.
For what I read one thing is certain, your daddy loved you both as a mother and a father.
Again welcome nd looking forward to read your posts
Sheila18