i was just wondering who all of you have lost in transition?
Been very lucky. I didnt lose nobody. My family's cool w/everything. my mom to.
you are very lucky!
not all of us are.... i lost most of my family and right now im not doing well with this.
i miss having family my family the 1 i was born into. i miss being a part of family events and gatherings.im angry and hurt that i missed my sisters wedding and now i will miss out on meeting my new neices and nephews as well as missing the ones i already know and love.
i miss my brother whom which i didnt speak to for nearly 2 years because i am dead to him.
i miss being around people i love.
i knew it was going to be hard but never really believed their love wont be strong enough. i was wrong.
i was in and out the the hospital most of this year nearly died several times and didnt get as much as a phone call or letter to see how ii was doing....
even when the doc called and told them i might not make it!
i am happy with the way I turned out in my transition and I love that i have me finally it just really sucks that i have no1 to enjoy it with.,
no wods people say are comfoerting.
i feel as though the only people that understand are those that where in the camps like my grandparents who had their entire family taken away from them simply because of who they where born.
I'm sorry sweetie. I hope that they will come around one day, but don't wait for them. Instead, build close friendships, find a partner, live your life fully. Maybe even adopt one day. I know it's not the same, but sadly we can't make those choices for people. :(
Just completely off-topic ... You're too handsome (and I mean positively raowwwwwr) Please change your avatar so we won't all go weak in the knees every time you post something. :icon_redface:
J/K, but still. Seriously.
Mina.
My best friend.. of 6/7 years.. he couldn't accept it so I didn't bother with him.. Everyone else has been fine.
Its very true what you say about having a family and being involved. But my family doesn't know and I rarely see them too. Its only my immediate family that know as the rest of them would probably disown my immediate family and I wouldn't want that.
I feel for you bro.
Looking good on your profile pic :)
everyone in my family except an aunt an uncle.
Thus far no one. My grandmother is presently refusing to refer to me as per my chosen name or as her grandson but I give her leeway because of her age (she's in her 80s and has been through more than most people; plus I only see her once a year at most). The same has been asked of me in regards to my half-sister (she suffers from Turner's Syndrome, schizophrenia/paranoia/severe OCD and was witness to my mom's murder -- she basically wouldn't be able to understand this process). Both of these I respect. Everyone else has been positive and supportive. I've yet to lose anyone, even my father who's a staunch Catholic and conservative.
I suspect it's because I rarely see them in general so that's all good.
nobody so far. course there's family who dont know and probably don't really need to know as i only see them once a funeral.
I haven't lost anyone (even my biomom, now that she knows for sure!), but I am so, so absolutely terrified of my brother not accepting me. I think he's got a little bit of transphobia going on because of our father (she's MTF). I'll just about die if he shuns me. =/
Just one whacko spouse, who I haven't missed at all. Oh, but I did miss the dog for quite some time.
Dennis
I got very lucky for the most part. My grandparents are really weird about it but are starting to come around. My mom took it the hardest but we have talked a lot and she has went to some therapy sessions with me. They helped her out a lot. Within the past 2 months she has become almost totally excpeting. The rest of my family was ok with it from the beginning.
Quote from: Dennis on January 25, 2009, 10:33:36 AM
Just one whacko spouse, who I haven't missed at all. Oh, but I did miss the dog for quite some time.
Dennis
Sorry about the dog, Dennis. That bites.
Quote from: Nero on January 25, 2009, 09:39:56 AM
course there's family who dont know and probably don't really need to know as i only see them once a funeral.
I love how you put that. Made me chuckle..
Quote from: Dennis on January 25, 2009, 10:33:36 AM
Oh, but I did miss the dog for quite some time.
Dennis
Dogs are hard to let go of, more than people! :(
Well, as of this point....
Both my parents have passed
My sister knows my plans and seems okay with it, but is not happy about it. Not sure if she told her husband.
Rest of my blood relatives... I either don't speak to them really or I already disowned for other reasons.
As for friends.... Well, if I had any, they are now gone except 2 and I am engaged to one of them.
So I currently live a very private unsociable life. I do have a social life, but I don't make friends in the process just because so far 99% of them were not really friends to begin with. My social circles revolve around the gym and sports and I am never in one place too long, so maybe now I am to the point I will be settling down I can finally have some friends.
On the positive side, my fiancee's parents are aware of my life, plans and are totally cool with it. We even had a longtalk about us having children and their biggest concern was not anything to do with me but just being able to support the child financially. I thought that was one of the coolest days in my life because there are people who accept me (and invite me on family vacations)
No one yet.
My family is cool with it, and even fronted me the money for my top surgery. Other than my immediate family I don't particularly care if they accept me or not as I only see them once every few years and its normally really boring.
My best friend/ex/room mate is completely cool with it and has supported me more than anyone through it. As far as my other friends one pretty much always knew (we made gender confusion jokes about me all the time =p) well I'm sure most knew, but at this point I've told everyone in my daily life that I actually talk to that I had the surgery so they know at least that much and no one was like "WTF"
I really doubt anyone would care, I'm pretty sure everyone who knows me at all would expect it.
I haven't lost anyone as of yet. My family have been supportive but it is challenging everyday for them to understand. My friends in college that know have been great and I am telling more of them as my plans to transition are becoming more of a firm reality.
I think this will be more of a problem as I attempt to go to grad school or get a job while transitioning.
I hate re-does. Jaded i wrote you an empassioned letter back and lost it. it's in cyber space. Jaded I lost them all. My choice really. I didn't want them to be hurt. It was the 70's. NOT everything went. Gay's were fun.(guys). Lesbians were dirty movies. I lost parents, 3 brother, 6 nieces - my whole world. I found people who would love me for me. Some of you will find that love really 'IS'. They really love you; no matter what. Other's will not be as fortunate. I was fortunate in friends and strenght. I refused to die. I believed I had a reason to exist and I plowed on. So must you. You will meet friends along the way. They will become family. You will not care where they come from. They accept you, you accept them. I believe that TG's are special. We get to be both, we get to live the worst and the best. We must live.
Quote from: Kristian on January 27, 2009, 12:50:59 AM
I hate re-does. Jaded i wrote you an empassioned letter back and lost it. it's in cyber space. Jaded I lost them all. My choice really. I didn't want them to be hurt. It was the 70's. NOT everything went. Gay's were fun.(guys). Lesbians were dirty movies. I lost parents, 3 brother, 6 nieces - my whole world. I found people who would love me for me. Some of you will find that love really 'IS'. They really love you; no matter what. Other's will not be as fortunate. I was fortunate in friends and strenght. I refused to die. I believed I had a reason to exist and I plowed on. So must you. You will meet friends along the way. They will become family. You will not care where they come from. They accept you, you accept them. I believe that TG's are special. We get to be both, we get to live the worst and the best. We must live.
What Kristian says hunny,
The only people you really loose are people that didnt want you and are they really then a loss? only for a short while until you realise that.
Go on with your life Jaded, its worth soo much more than any hate.
wow! thanx you all so much for the warm response!
its amazing to hear all of your stories whatever i did hear and i appreciate it!
Haven't really lost anyone yet but if my dad ever found out what I was thinking he would shun me. I don't really know what would happen if my family found out
I've been blessed with the people that matter most (mom, dad, brother, g parents). Lost plenty of "friends", and family. But like I've always said, family IS what you make it. The people that stray away, don't matter, in the least. Live your life, and do what makes YOU happy!
Jaded - I admire you for pushing through and doing what makes you happy. I don't know what it's like to be alone in this long hard road, and it definitely takes one hell of a soldier to do it alone. Mad props bro!
again id like to thank you all for the response ....and for the record i have lost alot and its hard as hell at times BUT and this is a big but i have myself for the first time in a long time and i cant trade that for anything in the world!
I can only imagine how difficult it must be for you to not be able to have contact with your family. I haven't lost anyone yet but then I haven't told everyone yet either, I don' think my mother will take it too great but I don't think I will lose her either at least I hope not.
In fact I don't think any of my family are going to take it too great except maybe my brother Thomas, we are very close and have always related more like brothers anyway.
I guess I am relatively lucky as I have a truly supportive partner although I definately have a difficult family. :-\
Sorry you lost your family cause of this, jaded. They must come around eventually. Have you tried showing them any articles or books about TS? As folks have said, find people who love you for you. I can't imagine the pain of being rejected by my family like that. So far only my parents know and they're accepting, but the rest of my family is kind of religious so I dunno how it'll turn out..
I can't get over how great you look in your avatar pictures tho! Sorry if I sound nosy but do you have any more photos? ;D
Right now no one but not everyone nows.. But i never see aunts and uncles Ect only brothers and sisters and most of them now. my step dad is cool as is my mum lil sister and older sister. i dont think my 2 older brothers now. but im sure one of them will be cool with it. But i think its more hard for men to understand them women. i dont now if that from my experience or what.. The one person i wont tell till this start changing (as in look) of course people will notice. its my dad im more worryed about. due to the fact his so old fationed. the funny thing is he only want to take notice with somethink he dont like.. any other time he dont give a crap.. so there for i wont be losing him cuz i dont fill i have him.. I hate my father
Just ran across this post. So here goes.
Lost my wife, sort of. We separated because of my GID. But it is funny, we are now in contact again. Off and on, but still as friends.
Step son, Thank the Goddess. Turns out he isn't the man I thought he was. A lier, cheat and abusive.
And my parents. Both passed over before I came out.
Some friends, but they don't count any more.
Gained my family here. More women friends than I even thought I would have.
Janet
Quote from: jaded on February 01, 2009, 04:22:59 AM
again id like to thank you all for the response ....and for the record i have lost alot and its hard as hell at times BUT and this is a big but i have myself for the first time in a long time and i cant trade that for anything in the world!
Is that you in your avatar bro? Cause you look frickin awesome if it is. You looked great in your last avatar too. And you're right, having you is way more important than having others. You will either get your family back or choose a family if you're comfortable in yourself.
Dennis
I haven't really lost any family members...I haven't exactly told everyone. They've all noticed the changes, and seem to be a little confused, but no one has asked me or said anything about it. Everyone does know about my name change, so I'm sure they're kind of getting the jist of things.
I have lost one person during transition, but not because of my transition. I burried my best friend in September, it was very unexpected so it was a huge blow to everyone. He was a good man, and probably the best friend a guy could have. He was one of very few of my friends that knew about my transition, and he completely understood who I am. He was one of the best human beings I've ever met in my life.
I thought about this one for a long time, and it might not be due to transition and whatnot, but who I lost, for awhile anyway, was myself.
Considering that my beginning transition happened to coincide with my marriage, I think I just got so into taking on the role of man and husband that I forgot who I really was. I let a lot of things go by the wayside, including things that used to define me. Now, being at a distance from the tenuous life I created, I see what I abandoned, and I am furiously attempting to regain it.
Don't lose yourselves in the pursuit of what you think you want.
SD
I have lost my father and step-mother, which is okay with me because I didn't really have all of them before I told them. However that being said, I feel as though I may be losing my brother and that kills me. He lives with them and I can only imagine the horrible things they tell him. He just graduated High School and is still very influenced by my father. My mother had a hard time at first but is now talking to my and my fiance and is really starting to come around.
again thank you all for the response im not very good at checking these things lately my life as been a bit insane!
but yes that is me in the avatar:) i have been getting my weight up again which is VERY good ( i was down to 103 lbs) and im 5'8)
sabastian i what you said made a lot of sense and i think think with "time" you might get that bit of you back (especially now...)
and josh all i can say is i understand how hard it is 1 of the hardest things somtimes are losing those who dont get to make a choice about seeing you because "adults" make that choice for them or influence then the way theyu want...