My birth name is Derek, but ya'll can call me Holly. I am 21 and I live in michigan, I have come out to my girlfriend, who is very supportive, but not yet my mother.
I began wearing women's clothes when I was about 13. I would wait for no one to be home, then sneak into my mother's room and steal her panties, stockings, anything I could get really. I would wear it around the house for a while and then feel really guilty and put them away.
This continued for about a year or so, then, feeling very guilty and disgusting, decided never to wear her clothes again. I didn't, but I couldn't stop from looking at the other girls I hung out with, seeing their curves, their softness. Jealous of it. I hated that and in hating that, hated myself for not being them. I know now that this was the main reason for my attitude towards myself and others in high school. I was very withdrawn and had but a handful of freinds with whom I did nothing but smoke pot.
I have recently come out to my girlfriend, told her I wished since I was very small that I was a girl. She told me it was ok and since then we have shared all of her clothes between the two of us, except during the day really, where I only wear her underwear (or mine, I have a few pairs that I've bought and actually kept, not feeling as guilty all of the time).
Ever since I was little I connected better with girls, all of my memorable friends were all female, from elementary school on up. My girlfriends during that time were really just friends in that I didn't loose my virginity or have any desire to until I was 16 and met my current g/f. Even then we were better friends than lovers, and have stayed together for the last 5 years. We have two beautiful children and love each other more than ever.
She is my crutch, which I guess is a bad thing, relying on her too much, but she loves me and wants to see me happy. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I am still trying to find who I am and how I want to go about being that person.
In closing I guess I'll just say that I hope to be useful here and to be a fun addition to your forum!
Hi Holly! welcome to susan's!
you are among friends here and many of us share your same history and background.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi220.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fdd141%2Fgoldendragonfly%2FTinkerbell-2-5.gif&hash=5be8480c960ef48b1799ad2adf2134b3c3a7c712)
Hello Holly and welcome to Susan's!
Thanks so much for introducing yourself. Please take a few moments to get familiar with all the boards of the site, review the site rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)before posting, and take advantage of our many resources such as the wiki (https://www.susans.org/wiki/Main_Page), chat (https://www.susans.org/chat/index.html), and the links listed at the main page. (https://www.susans.org/index.html) We look forward to your future posts and participation. Enjoy your stay! :)
tink :icon_chick:
Hi Holly, :icon_wave:
Welcome to our little family. Over 1490 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion. Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams. Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.
But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another sister. :icon_hug:
Janet
Hi Holy
Really nice to meet you, sounds as if this forum will be a help to you and your partner.
Love
Cindy James
Welcome to Susans Holly-chan!
Why is it I'm always dancing and jay is relaxed loking up my skirt!
CJ
Hello Holly
it is nice to meet you!