the kind of unconditional love you would have for your parents, a child or a best friend, do you also have for yourself?
yes I love myself unconditionally as long as I have done everything right that day! (sorry couldn't resist a small joke!)
In all seriousness I must honestly say that I do not believe that there is a such thing as unconditional love because I think there is always a line that someone can cross where what they do cannot be forgiven. with that said I do love myself because I continously try to examine myself and how I treat others so I can be lovable to myself and if there is something standing in the way of that I change so i am a lovable and I figure if I exime myself and find the way i treat others makes me lovable in my eyes then I am lovable to others as well!
probably not.
I can love my friends and parents unconditionally because I can't effect their actions, but I know my own thoughts before I do things, I know the other options I could have taken. In a really overdramatic way, I know the blackness of my own heart....Now most of the time, I don't give in to it, so I love myself, but occasionally I slip, and then I do not.
I don't think I love myself unconditionally.. I can love others unconditionally, and do.. but.. I've done things in the past that have made me hate myself to unbearable levels, and I don't think that's unconditional love. I wouldn't even say I love myself in the course of everyday life.. I love what I do sometimes, yeah, but myself..? I'm just me. Most of the time whatever opinion I have of myself is pretty neutral. I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing, I just.. what's the point of loving myself? I am myself.
But on the other hand.. if I can hate myself, I should be able to love myself, right? I dunno.. :-\
Quote from: Pica Pica on January 27, 2009, 08:09:20 PM
probably not.
I can love my friends and parents unconditionally because I can't effect their actions, but I know my own thoughts before I do things, I know the other options I could have taken. In a really overdramatic way, I know the blackness of my own heart....Now most of the time, I don't give in to it, so I love myself, but occasionally I slip, and then I do not.
you're too hard on yourself. and there's no room for blackness in your heart with all the goodness there.
QuoteIn all seriousness I must honestly say that I do not believe that there is a such thing as unconditional love because I think there is always a line that someone can cross where what they do cannot be forgiven
When it comes to yourself we all make mistakes, it is that we cannot escape ourselves so we do forgive ourselves. In the end the only life you have is your own. The mind always distorts our own thinking it is our minds job to protect our ego.
Quote from: lisagurl on January 27, 2009, 08:34:40 PM
QuoteIn all seriousness I must honestly say that I do not believe that there is a such thing as unconditional love because I think there is always a line that someone can cross where what they do cannot be forgiven
When it comes to yourself we all make mistakes, it is that we cannot escape ourselves so we do forgive ourselves. In the end the only life you have is your own. The mind always distorts our own thinking it is our minds job to protect our ego.
this is a very good point! I guess I should have said I do my best to treat others the way I would like to be treated and yes there are many times in my life I have fallen short of that goal and when i see that i am treating someone in a way I would not want to be treated I try to correct it. I would just like to say i like the way your mind works!
i think we tend to be our own sternest judges though
Am I healthy physically, emotionally and spiritually? Am I the best person I can be? Yes, I am. Therefore, there is no reason to ever not love myself unconditionally! :P
tink :icon_chick:
P.S. FYI, I trust myself unconditionally as well! :P
Took me a while to learn to love myself unconditionally. My parents never did and I had few friends, let alone a best friend, throughout life. As I began to research and look into transitioning I found myself more at peace with me and loving the person I am and will become. Tis an amazing process (I almost want to say born again.. but not in a religious sense; in a soul, life sense)
love love love love
Right now no, I feel like a fraud. As I start to think about the fact I really am going to transition the more I care about myself. I am actually doing something for myself. I hope one day to love myself unconditionally, one day when I can actually be myself.
Myles
Re: do you love yourself unconditionally?
yes. there have been times i've hated my actions, but never stopped loving myself. if i didn't love myself unconditionally, i expect i'dve offed myself by now.
Post Merge: January 30, 2009, 11:13:15 AM
and uh, what about the OP? do you love yourself unconditionally devil gurl? ;)
Quote from: Nero on January 30, 2009, 11:11:55 AM
and uh, what about the OP? do you love yourself unconditionally devil gurl? ;)
i'm in love with myself devil boy! haha ;)
Nope. But the people in my head used to. I miss that.
Im trying to get to the point of loving my self unconditionally. Im getting there.
Yes I do.
I've made lots of mistakes and hurt many people who either know me or not, but I accept that. I'm not perfect in either body or mind, especially in body ! And will never be, I can never be pregnant and have children. But I accept that. I can never be a man; even though I have an XY chromosome, aaccept and love me. Although my Y seems to have a bit of a tail that other Y's don't. I accept it all. I do not believe in Gods. Therefore it is my choice. Be a miserable s**t or accept your self, I love and accept me. If I didn't who else would? I think lack of self acceptance and self love ( in then mental way ;) is a prime problem with isolated people, and many of us are isolated; in the psychological sense.
Hugs
Cindy James
Post Merge: February 07, 2009, 01:49:34 AM
Sorry for in coherence my word program is placing words randomly sometimes. Don't know why, any ideas?
No, because like Jessie up thread I don't believe unconditional love exists between human beings.
Whether it is is towards children, parents, friends, lovers there are reasons and motivations there.
Cynical maybe, but that's what one gets with age and living with a psychologist.
Perfectly honestly? No.
I am ruthless towards myself. Highly critical of everything I do. I have torn up thousands more pieces of arts than what I've scanned/photographed and shared.
I'm notorious for pointing out flaws in reaction to being complemented on something I've done. It's a horrible habit and I'm trying to break it. (You know. "Lovely dinner", "yeah, but I overcooked the potatoes".)
To be honest, I don't believe in "unconditional" love either. There's always something you have to do, have to be, etc...
I love myself on the condition that I leave the room when I'm done.
so, the answer is NO!
No actually I don't :'( I guess that's what this "severe depression" diagnosis crap is all about for me, I dunno. But, I cut sometimes and most day's wish I had my guns back and could just get this all over with already. Ya, kinda like how I'm feeling lately...God believe me I do hate being like this all the time anymore :'(
If you don't love yourself, how can you love others? And how can you accept love from others?
CJ
For many years I hated myself and lived in the darkness of bewilderment and confusion. I didn't hate anyone except for myself for where I had sunken in life's pit of depression. It wasn't until I had arrived at the doorstep of suicide did I awaken to become conscious to who me was.
Tentatively I went forward and found a measure of happiness and contentment in my new life until I arrived again at a second doorstep. This door lead to self-acceptance and love for myself and from there I progressed and evolved.
I learned more about who I was until I came to know that person. I came to things about who I was I had never known before. I love not only the self but what she also accomplished in her short life of 9 years.
Cindy
I always try my best to love myself...I can kind of accept myself now which is a big step into the right direction.
I could not for a long time, not only due to being a ftm, but also for everything that has happened to me in the past which made accepting the person in me very difficult.
But will I ever love myself? I am unsure about it...For me it is even difficult to love other persons...
Actually, I just found unconditional acceptance/love of myself about a week and a half ago. So yes, I am capable of loving myself unconditionally. It truly is an inspirational feeling.
Probably the biggest catalyst was my hellish middle school experience (ironic as that sounds). Because I was under the misconception that I had to fight my self-hatred & trust issues alone, it forced me to bring myself as a person under intense scrutiny. I got to know myself a great deal better over the five years I struggled through the many hours of introspection and thousands of words in journal entries, poems, stories, songs....Getting to know each intricacy of my being helped show me what there is to love.
For those of you out there who are struggling, or don't believe self-love is possible, you have my deep sympathy and empathy, and I hope y'all can find things to love with all speed.
-Shannon
Unconditional love is a nice idea, but unfortunately, being human, I doubt we can program ourselves to the extent of not experiencing hate in any situation.
I want to love myself and others, but there's always something annoying that can happen that makes me hate them or myself, for at least a period of time.
I think people who say they love unconditionally are either lying or don't realize what unconditional love really is.
Considering how hate feels however, I rather feel loving the most I can though.
One word.. no.
Jay
Wanted to update my status to : Working on it a lot more lately, almost there!
Myles
Hi Funnygrl, I was there once where you are, if you wish to share here or on PM I am available. I do pray that you find peace within yourself.
It took me ten years of working on finding that peace within myself, and now I can honestly say I have found that peace, with myself and all others around me I interact with from day to day.
Cindy
I used to, but now I feel stupid and ugly.
Goodness, why are so many of my sisters getting so down on themselves for? I know, I do sometimes to, but usually for dumb silly reasons which I don't stay down for long about. My dear Janet, please post me or email me and share some with me as to what ails ya OK?
Cindy
Quote from: Janet Lynn on March 27, 2009, 01:47:08 AM
I used to, but now I feel stupid and ugly.
If I may be so bold, how come? Above your picture, it says "No Damn Comment, and I am not stupid." What's causing this contrast?
Hope you get better :icon_bunch:
If you wish to know see https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,57979.0.html. (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,57979.0.html.)
Love is always the best answer regardless of the situation.
You can't control how others are, you can only control yourself.
Hi sis, I have responded to your Blog > Diary of a Mad Woman, please read hun, OK?
Cindy
Quote from: cindybc on March 27, 2009, 01:31:07 AM
Hi Funnygrl, I was there once where you are, if you wish to share here or on PM I am available. I do pray that you find peace within yourself.
It took me ten years of working on finding that peace within myself, and now I can honestly say I have found that peace, with myself and all others around me I interact with from day to day.
Cindy
Thanx Cindy, I'll look for you on the PM when I can :-*
I have never really thought about it. There are conditions I place on myself. The only unconditional love I've found in life is from a pet. My dog loves me no matter what I do or say.
I believe that anyone who has surrendered to the innerself in order to be confident enough to be truly who they are, and honor and love this person they are. One must love ones self before he/she can share that love with another. Know thine self.
As selfish as it may sound I believe that learning to love oneself to be a prerequisite to accepting who you truly are before you can accept any other.
It took me years of experience, and after many of life's arduous lessons before I came to learn that loving one's self first is the first true love. I have to accept all that I am to truly appreciate life.
Cindy
I once loved myself with a love that was true
but had to learn that if I loved myself, I would have to let myself go
now my waistline is greater than the circumference of my head.
I loved myself unconditionally.
Until my wrist broke.
:'(
Quote from: Rebis on April 10, 2009, 04:05:20 PM
I loved myself unconditionally.
Until my wrist broke.
:'(
That sounds like a condition.
It's not unconditional unless it's constantly, regardless of the situation.
..I know that was a joke.., but I didnt laugh :-X
I had a hard time understanding unconditional love. until i had a pup i raised up. from 4 weeks until i had to leave the place i was living. she was 7months. a friend who i care for is taking care of her for me. I wouldn't want her living my lifestyle. Homeless.
To the original question. I do not love myself. I utterly dislike myself. I do not understand the love for a parent, I do not know them. Ive never really had a best friend. I have a real hard time getting close to anyone.
Quote from: Saraloop on April 10, 2009, 04:08:14 PM
That sounds like a condition.
It's not unconditional unless it's constantly, regardless of the situation.
..I know that was a joke.., but I didnt laugh :-X
I'm sorry I didn't make you laugh. I'm ready to be punished. :(
Quote from: Rebis on April 10, 2009, 04:12:35 PM
I'm sorry I didn't make you laugh. I'm ready to be punished. :(
You don't need my approval... But if you want punishment... then, I sentence you to.. hmm., dunno, figure out a punishment in my place. ::) .. maybe something like having to eat something gross.
@Damaged... You sound Damaged. But don't give up, you can learn to love.
I like myself, but I don't love myself unconditionally.
I love my mind though.
Yes. Not saying it's right, not saying it's wrong, but I would never hate myself. Seriously. If I murdered someone, my ego would probably go down a bit, but that's all. It's actually kind of difficult to say for sure, because I can't imagine doing something really really horrible. I feel like any murders I did would feel justified at least when I did them. And if I realized it was wrong, I'd just be like "Well, I feel bad, but I felt it was right at the time." Argh, now I'm so glad I have no murderous inclinations.
I love my mind to, but the only problem is, sometimes I think I'm the only one that understands my mind and it can get lonely in there with no one to talk to. ;D
Cindy
Talk to yourself; that's what I do.
Quote from: Mr. Fox on April 16, 2009, 02:46:16 PM
Talk to yourself; that's what I do.
I agree; it really helps with stress. That, and journaling.
Quote"A heart is not judged by how much you love; but by how much you are loved by others."
"Hee, hee," I attract people without even trying to. I like being around people and I do have an up beat personality, but not really anything special. I have had friends ask me how I attract people like I do? All I can tell them is I feel good being around people and I guess they can feel it and it makes them feel good.
I have been much more of a people person since having transitioned.
Speaking and journalism to myself I do as well. I have even created make believe characters in my imagination to converse with.
Cindy
"Hee, hee," I attract people without even trying to.
Me too, but I've worked to overcome it. So can you.
I don't mind if I attract people just as long as it's not the wrong kind of attention I attract. So far I haven't but that's not to say I may not step out of a store some day and get run over on the side walk by a city bus. Until then well I ain't gettin younger so enjoy the sunny weather while I can. ;D
Cindy
To be quite honest no I do not love myself unconditionally.
I don't feel like I have the right to either since there is so many things I have yet to go through in this life. It seems kind of premature for myself to love me. I don't have love for myself. In a way I respect myself but I have yet to reach my full potential in or even come close to it and until I do I don't think I have earned the right to love myself unconditionally.