Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I'm wondering if people are happy about being seen as the way they present or if they were able they would present differently

basicly are you conforming, being true to yourself or something inbetween

good means you are happy
bad   mean you are not
compromise means you could be better could be worse

I hope that doesn't sound judjmental

if another option is wanted just ask

I don't know which gender I present as...I suppose male, although the amount of female items of clothing are beginning to match the amount of male ones, I suppose what with my male shape, they just look male.

I guess that's because I choose any trousers, blouses and jumpers to be pretty plain and unassuming, but with nice colours. When I find some that fit I will buy some very girly hoodies, all flowers an' that. I like them, and I think they will look cute.

I exclusively wear female pyjamas at home for example, but I'm not presenting as a female. nor a male. nor androgynous.... I'm just Pica in a pair of female pyjamas. I'm a lodger with an old lady and I have two other lodgers as well, the first time they saw the girl's pj's they looked twice, now It's just me in my pj's -

Now I put down compromise, because it is. It's a compromise between my male body and clothes...If I had a female body, I would be a keen wearer of dresses and skirts, I would probably also play around more with make up...but all those things look silly on me, so I may try them a few times and then decide they are not for me. It's like a painter who has discovered that some colours don't fit in his work, there's a disappointment about being limited, but that's about it.

The point is, you see, I never consciously present. I just wear as I like, walk as I like and so on...presenting is far too self concious for me.

I selected "I present as my birth gender and its a compromize."

My wardrobe is evolving; I'm adding more women's clothes. But, I usually "present" as my birth gender: male.

The main reason, however, is I'm not entirely sure how to present. I know I would like to present as something completely ambiguous ("not a king or a queen but something in between"). But, I'm not entirely sure how to do this.

But at the same time, there are days when I have no problem with presenting as male and there are days when I very much want to present as female. So, what I usually do is a compromise of sorts.

I think...

Compromise although in some situations less so. A lot of the time it's just jeans and a flannel shirt or fleece (it's winter and need to keep warm). Sometimes I'll wear a nice blouse... I'd wear skirts more often if it didn't result in losing income.

Z

I dress in whatever is most comfortable to me, which is usually male clothing. But then, I also wear skirts, so I'm always sort of dressed as both genders at once.

I have my hair cut really short and don't wear makeup, so I guess...I don't know. It's hard to say. I sort of want to say I present as the opposite of my birth gender, but it's also true that I present as both, kinda, at once. I think people look at me, then look down at my skirt, look back at my face and then draw their conclusions.

I've been mistaken for my husband's brother by little kids. It makes me feel flattered that I could pull off a male look or at least an androgynous one. In any case, I noted in the poll that I am happy with the way I present. :D

As my birth gender, because it's simply easier. I'm fairly indifferent to it most of the time.

I said other compromise. As Pica, I would dress in more women's clothing if it fit my body shape better.

But saying that everything is a bit of a compromise as I don't have the body I desire yet. I'm hoping that hormones will fix that.

Right now I wear looser clothes than I'd like to hide "the boys" (need to get that binder!)  To pass consistently, I would also have to wear more masculine clothes and get a haircut but . . . meh.  I'm not going to trade one set of stereotypes for another.  So basically, I am presenting as my birth sex, but in more masculine clothes than I'd care to wear.

I have boy clothes I like and girls clothes. I work full time as a facility manager at a condo and me and my employees wear sort of a uniform. Pale yellow polo shirts and Kaki pants or shorts. I ordered women's shirts which have a v neck and shorter sleeves. The shirts are a light fabric so no matter what color bra I wear it's still obvious. I have some womens dickies, capris and shorts that I alternate. Just flip flops for shoes. Then just a little eye shadow and my earrings.
I feel comfortable and am relitively well accepted. It's funny though, my employees all macho Black men in their 30's at first didn't know what to think but after 2 years they are ok.
A few weeks ago my so and I were celebrating our anniversary at a beachfront resturant and one of my employees was there with his girl friend. I saw them and waved. They came to the table and chatted. She said that he had said so many good things and I was a good boss. They when they were leaving she said I love your outfit. He hadn't seen me in a skirt beforebut he just smiled and said good night.

birth gender. not good.

It's okay I guess, for now.

I choose to not present anything, I choose to be me and wear what is most comfortable for me.

Quote from: Barbara/Brandon on January 28, 2009, 02:10:55 PM
I choose to not present anything, I choose to be me and wear what is most comfortable for me.

I am the same. I don't aim to present anything either. Except maybe 'not-male'. I can't stand being mistaken for a male.

Yeah, I'm going to have mess things up for a bit.

Okay, I present my birth gender.  I am happy with this gender.  However, my feelings are muddled when it comes to the expression of said gender (due to social mores), although the number of serious issues is small.

I'm nearing the time of "screw it," though (roughly a month from now).

My questions are

What are you going to screw?

and can we watch? :o

Quote from: Nicky on January 28, 2009, 07:47:07 PM
My questions are

What are you going to screw?

and can we watch? :o

I'm pretty much locked into male mode due to life circumstances, so I really don't think about it too much. Maybe when the kids move out I can try some things.

I've just taken the plunge and found a great counsellor to help me sort my stuff out. I can't believe how free I feel even though I have not actually done anything yet. Things have gone from stuck to on the move.

can we have your kitchen table and two of the chairs?

Quote from: Rebis on January 28, 2009, 08:58:43 PMcan we have your kitchen table and two of the chairs?

Only if you promise to dance on them.  :icon_bumdance-nerd:


I voted 'dress as birth gender and that's good', but mostly because my clothes come from the women's section...and honestly, i'm not trying to present any certain way.  Most of my clothes are pretty gender neutral, but I'm not really trying to look androgynous (because i don't look androgynous).  Presentation is a difficult subject if you don't know what it is you're ideal look is.  Mostly, I don't really care how people perceive me (although if I can find clothes that make me look slimmer, well, hot damn, I'll wear them out!)

its amazing how quick you can become unstuck when you actually sit down and talk to someone who says why can you not do that and for the life of you, you can not think of a really good reason why your not doing it. thats what happened with my counciler. it seems that we make our own blockages.

dont really matter how you are wanting to present or, that your just yourself. other people will still want to put you in a box i just find its easyer if you give them a hint which one you want them to put you in, instead of them deciding and anoying you. :0)

I love men's clothing. Although I also own some girl's clothes. It usually depends on my mood what I wear. Majority of the time it's the guy side of the spectrum. I love dress shirts and ties. ^_^

Ties?

Yes! Ties!

My daughter keeps stealing mine.

my daughter keeps stealing my hair-ties too  >:(

and one of my cats eats a surprisingly large amount of them. Weird.

I thought they meant ties that go with men's dress shirts

yes but wasn't it interesting hearing that my cat eats lots of hair ties?

But now I'm afraid of your cat   :'(

I've always wondered why she is such a flatulant cat when she eats the same food as my other cat, now I realise why that is  :embarrassed:

Quote from: Nicky on January 29, 2009, 08:29:54 PM
I've always wondered why she is such a flatulant cat when she eats the same food as my other cat, now I realise why that is  :embarrassed:

So hair ties cause gas?  Good thing I have short hair.  :P

And bow ties cause aging.  :icon_razz:

And once again, another androgyne thread goes off topic!

I think we're batting 1000 guys!

Quote from: Shades O'Grey on January 30, 2009, 02:50:13 PM
And once again, another androgyne thread goes off topic!

I think we're batting 1000 guys!

At least we're consistent  :laugh:

And to get back to one of the relevant off-topics  ;) my cat has absolutely no interest in my hair ties  ;D

Z

I wonder if Nicky's hair smells like catfood?  ???

why is it everytime i see this topic, i get a visual of Nicky and Z in afros?  :icon_blink:

Do you mean, trapped inside of giant afros in search for a way home?

Quote from: Nero on January 30, 2009, 03:29:04 PM
why is it everytime i see this topic, i get a visual of Nicky and Z in afros?  :icon_blink:

My hair is curly, but not enough for a 'fro.

Z

My dog eats tissues, i think my dad eats hair ties - he's certainly flatulant.

My dog eats tissues also...especially the used ones -- Yuck!

I don't eat hair ties but do have my moments of flatulence -- again, Yuck!

I'll do my good deed for the week and try to bring this back on topic, though most of you will just drag it back into the muck...I know I would

So...been a while, but I've kind of settled into just being who I feel like.  I've let my hair grow longer (nice bob, covers the ears, even if the male pattern baldness makes it seem like it starts halfway back), plucked my eyebrows, gave up and just started wearing some kind of sheer nail polish every day instead of only after work and finally, after a couple of years of being chicken, got my ears pierced.  (Speaking of which, whoever the jerk was that said it only hurts a second should be severely beaten--it hurt like hell...made me want to cry)  And the beard comes and goes, usually when I think I've drifted a little to far into the femme waters.  It is there now because I needed to look a little more butch with my new earrings.

I tend to wear whatever clothes fit my activity.  Around the house, shopping and just general hanging out seems to favor the feminine clothing.  Work is masculine, but I have added many more colors and fabrics with an occasional piece of women's clothing (always wear women's trouser socks and "unmentionables")  Everything else is somewhere in between.

Like others have said, I gave up trying to present male and female (which never worked anyway) and just let things drift where they want. 

...Laurry

P.S. You sure get funny looks from some folks when they see the beard...especially in the summer when I have on my "short shorts" showing my shaved legs and painted toenails.  God help them if I am also wearing a bra because that makes it very obvious I have boobies.  And yes, Pica Pica, I do keep it trimmed as I don't want to hide the girls...hehe

horraay for the drifting.

Quote from: Pica Pica on February 02, 2009, 08:51:57 AM
My dog eats tissues, i think my dad eats hair ties - he's certainly flatulant.

Today my dog ate my dad, unsure of the result of that one.

Maybe now your dog will pass hair ties

Laurry!  Nice to see you again!

@Pica...how big is your dog?!!  :o

he's a king charles spaniel

is that like a cocker spaniel?  :P

smaller and cuter.

...then how big is your dad? :P

it's not how small he is, it's how slow he runs...

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=1sLCYXr996E#noexternalembed (http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=1sLCYXr996E#noexternalembed)

here he is

That must be one vicious king charles spaniel you have...

How young were you in that video!  You look so different!  ...those comments are very strange...what video were they watching?

that very video, i don't think they liked it.

I was thinking of Laurry last night.  So, I'm the one to blame for conjuring her up.       >:-)  acause i is Satana!

Quote from: Rebis on February 03, 2009, 11:23:41 AM
I was thinking of Laurry last night.  So, I'm the one to blame for conjuring her up.

Dreaming of me again, baby?  Try again tonight...I'll make all your dreams come true  :icon_lips:  (except the one about winning the lottery)

oooh.  You're a frisky critter these days.

a frisky critter? Where, where.......I eat frisky critters  >:-)

Rebis is Santana???

 :eusa_think:

not sure I really see the resemblence...

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.unplugged-cafe.org%2Fimages%2F4%2F46%2FSantana.jpg&hash=d52e18e7034289745f7dd8dd410c26baaf75919e)

I wonder if presenting as Santana would make me feel happier?  I could probably deal with the mustache, but the hair on the arms would HAVE to go!

.........L

Rebis would also want their hat back

I'm not Santana. I'm Santana's hat.

And I do want myself back.     

Quote from: Laurry on February 03, 2009, 08:21:01 PM
but the hair on the arms

I don't want to talk about it.

I'm thinking it's time we throw an electrolysis party for Shades.

We can probably convert some soldering irons and get it all done in a mere week.

I want to have at hier with the melted wax and paper.

Quote from: Rebis on February 05, 2009, 03:11:40 PM
a mere week.

Wow, are you optimistic.

well, I didn't want to discourage volunteers by revealing the truth   :o

Quote from: Rebis on February 05, 2009, 03:11:40 PM

I'm thinking it's time we throw an electrolysis party for Shades.

We can probably convert some soldering irons and get it all done in a mere week.

If we use a torch we'll be done in under 20 seconds  :D

Quote from: Shades O'Grey on February 05, 2009, 03:16:11 PM

Quote from: Rebis on February 05, 2009, 03:11:40 PM
a mere week.

Wow, are you optimistic.

Or sadistic...

Quote from: Jaimey on February 05, 2009, 10:46:38 PM

Quote from: Shades O'Grey on February 05, 2009, 03:16:11 PM

Quote from: Rebis on February 05, 2009, 03:11:40 PM
a mere week.

Wow, are you optimistic.

Or sadistic...

Eek. Good point.

Hmm.. even though I'm only now starting to move back away from my male role and into a more androgynous one, my philosophy is - if it looks good on me, I'll wear it. ;)

Quote from: interalia on February 08, 2009, 02:15:01 AM
Hmm.. even though I'm only now starting to move back away from my male role and into a more androgynous one, my philosophy is - if it looks good on me, I'll wear it. ;)

That's me too.  :)

nothing looks good on me.  And yet, I look even worse when wearing nothing.

There ain't no happy place for me.

Quote from: Rebis on February 08, 2009, 03:43:46 PM

nothing looks good on me.  And yet, I look even worse when wearing nothing.

There ain't no happy place for me.

Have you tried lederhosen? 

Or a dirndl?

Quote from: tekla on February 08, 2009, 04:25:41 PM
Or a dirndl?

That would be hot.  I demand you try one on, Reb.  :P  You'd have a place for a milkshake, that's for sure...

And Rebis could run around all day singing Edelweiss, cause his hills would be alive.

I looked up dirndl and saw a picture.  It's really pretty.  But it certainly wouldn't look good on me.

I should dress like John Merrick

Quote from: Rebis on February 08, 2009, 06:33:20 PM

I looked up dirndl and saw a picture.  It's really pretty.  But it certainly wouldn't look good on me.

I'll be the judge of that.  :-*  *hugs* for Rebs.  You can't possibly look that bad.  When I'm unhappy with my looks, I just imagine what I could look like and then feel happy.  For example, I'm very happy that I do not suffer from the horrible condition I like to call 'Centaur Ass'.  >:-)  See?  There's always someone who looks worse.

And if I can't think of anything, I just watch TLC (a channel here in the US).  There's always someone on there with some horrible medical condition or who eats 30,000 calories a day.  Both fascinating and therapeutic.  >:-)

How do you define 'centaur ass'? 

I'm not sure, but I have an idea.  Kind of

Quote from: Rebis on February 08, 2009, 09:52:59 PM

How do you define 'centaur ass'? 

I'm not sure, but I have an idea.  Kind of

It's probably what you are imagining.  When someone is WAY smaller on top and they have a monstrous ass.  You know it when you see it.  >:-)

Sir Mix-A-Lot is looking for you.

Quote from: tekla on February 08, 2009, 11:04:27 PM
Sir Mix-A-Lot is looking for you.

Yes, he is.  >:-)

I like big butts and I cannot lie...  Takes me back...

Quote from: Jaimey on February 08, 2009, 11:00:49 PM

Quote from: Rebis on February 08, 2009, 09:52:59 PM

How do you define 'centaur ass'? 

I'm not sure, but I have an idea.  Kind of

It's probably what you are imagining.  When someone is WAY smaller on top and they have a monstrous ass.  You know it when you see it.  >:-)

I called it 'Coventry Arse'.

I want to dress like Reese Witherspoon in election... jeans, shirt and tanktop...

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg2.timeinc.net%2Fpeople%2Fi%2F2006%2Fcelebdatabase%2Freesewitherspoon%2Freese_witherspoon7_180_135.jpg&hash=406e923342abd57532a8ad092ac3a42d23ee3403)

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fstaycspits.files.wordpress.com%2F2008%2F02%2F250px-tracy_flick.jpg&hash=f3afaa976f08774272d060ae00bf2e1a7e34abcc)

good film election.

centuar ass huh? mmm ^-^

Quote from: Nero on February 09, 2009, 03:20:03 PM
centuar ass huh? mmm ^-^

It's a terrible epidemic spreading across America...

Quote from: Jaimey on February 09, 2009, 03:32:51 PM

Quote from: Nero on February 09, 2009, 03:20:03 PM
centuar ass huh? mmm ^-^

It's a terrible epidemic spreading across America...

and that's just one arse...

Quote from: Pica Pica on February 09, 2009, 03:34:49 PM

Quote from: Jaimey on February 09, 2009, 03:32:51 PM

Quote from: Nero on February 09, 2009, 03:20:03 PM
centuar ass huh? mmm ^-^

It's a terrible epidemic spreading across America...

and that's just one arse...

Ha!  Pretty soon it'll be like the marshmallow man from Ghost Busters!

Who ya gonna call?  Ass Busters!

I've seen asses that the bravest of explorers would refuse to cross.

Quote from: Rebis on February 09, 2009, 03:42:08 PM

I've seen asses that the bravest of explorers would refuse to cross.

haha!  Nice.

Quote from: Rebis on February 09, 2009, 03:42:08 PM

I've seen asses that the bravest of explorers would refuse to cross.

LOL