Biblical Battered Wife Syndrome: Christian Women and Domestic Violence
By Kathryn Joyce, Religion Dispatches. Posted February 2, 2009.
Escaping an abusive marriage is no easy task for many evangelical women, many of whom have pastors that say physical abuse is no reason for divorce.
http://www.alternet.org/reproductivejustice/124174/ (http://www.alternet.org/reproductivejustice/124174/)
As teaching pastor Tom Holladay explains, spousal abuse should be dealt with by temporary separation and church marriage counseling designed to bring about reconciliation between the couple. But to qualify for that separation, your spouse must be in the "habit of beating you regularly," and not be simply someone who "grabbed you once."
"How many beatings would have to take place in order to qualify as regularly?" asks Jocelyn Andersen, a Christian domestic violence survivor and advocate, author of the 2007 book Woman Submit! Christians and Domestic Violence, an indictment of church teachings of wifely submission and male headship. As she sees it, by convincing women that leaving their relationships is not an option, these teachings have laid the ground for a domestic violence epidemic within the church.
God said it, I believe it, that settles it.
The liberalism in religious law is something that many people often fail to appreciate, whether adherents or outsiders.
For example, the much-maligned prescription of "an eye for an eye" is merciful compared to human nature, and the violence that preceded that law. Before the law, it was more like "your life for my eye." Similarly, the barbaric Levitical laws on women's rights -- in particular, concerning divorce and rape -- were an improvement. At least there was some possibility of recourse in a few cases. Similarly, while the situation of women in Muslim cultures is terrible, at the time of Muhammed Islam was a huge improvement. The violent society that existed at the time lead to widespread violence against women with impunity.
The prolem is that followers of religions tend to be humans, and therefore interpret the law to suit their own biases. (Of course this never happens in civil society -- <coughcoughshermanantitrustactusedtobustunionscough> -- no, never at all!) So, where the hajib was used as a way to protect women's right initially, it turned into a tool for opression. Where "an eye for an eye" was initially a step toward mercy, it became an excuse for bloodlust.
Tekla definitely gave the "husband's point of view" in her post! My head is still shaking in disbelief at the extent that some people feel a need to reconcile the bible to either side, or to stay in any unsafe place after they have been freed from another. The churches being talked about are patently unsafe places to stay, but yet the mares return to the burning barns of "family churches".
In some fairness, I have seen members of those churches where the partners were just that, partners. Dad could have the final bark, but momma served up the last bite!!
Perpetrators of domestic violence should NEVER be allowed to hide under the umbra of scripture, and should be literally kicked out of the church steeples after last rites have been given.
I just gave the christian crap bumper sticker theory of all that junk. Really, if there is a less religious person on this earth may god strike me dead. OK. I'm still typing. Point made.
But I do think that people who buy into all that myth, superstition and metaphysics pretty much get what's coming to them. Perhaps their reward is in the next life.