He's great. I really like him but it's just a little odd this is the third conversation we've had about my orientation. And especially after detailing my sexcapades for him last time.
He keeps talking about how sex will change for me after transition. And I get that. I get that I'm no longer gonna hear 'wow sure you weren't in playboy' after taking my shirt off anymore. ::)
Anybody else's therapist harp on how this will change your sex life?
My therapist didn't really harp on how transitioning would change my sex life... probably because I've never had one. She did seem very, very interested in my 'fantasies,' however. I just gaped at her when she said: "So, how do you masturbate?" She's my mom's age so, uhm, it's awkward. I just mumbled something about 'thrusting.'
Oh, that kind of orientation!!!!! :icon_redface: I thought he just wanted to make sure he was sitting in front of you, Nero. :)
Nikki
I would think that they are looking for your motivations, and not just your 'reasons'.
I had to explain gender identity to my therapist. She kept referring to my gender issues as my "sexual orientation". And sometimes at random times during the session she'll look at me funny and say, "So, you're attracted to women/men?" And then again I have to explain that I'm pansexual and that that has nothing to do with me being a boy. -_-
My therapist has asked me a few times about my sexual orientation, in our first session i told him i have been asexual all my life but since being on hrt that seems to be shifting towards a gg, FtM or under the right conditions another MtF. every time he asks i have the same answer. I have no idea why they ask these questions.
Paula.
Mine keeps doing that too...
She also seems to keep suggesting that if I don't run around in skirts and makeup I must not REALLY want to be a girl.
It's very annoying... >.<
My therapist asked only when it sort of came up. The main point was to discuss the possibility that transitioning would affect relationships. Since relationships make me really dysphoric, I told her the only effect would be positive. That was pretty much the end of it.
Nero, I wonder if your therapist is being a lech. >:( I really hope that's not the case, but comments about Playboy seem rather inappropriate.
--
Paula -- huh? You mean that's who you're attracted to? So transsexual women are one little step abovee the gross cissexual men? Or what?
Can't say my therapist asked one bit. In fact, I didn't tell her if my partner at the time was male or female. Unless you're stuck with a therapist who's attempting to ascertain if you're hoping to transition to the heteronormative for some sort of internal homophobia reason, there is no need to discuss your sexual orientation at all. Unless, that is, YOU want to.
my therapist asked if id ever had a GF and i was like eh... one. never went anywhere. ive had quite a few boyfriends though. she just gave me thi look. --> O_o i was like.... what? its like she couldnt wrap her head around me liking guys.
My therapist did also but in the context of me being me, not having anything to do with being trans. And sexuality is fluid anyway, and transition may or may not impact who you are attracted to.
My therapist also did ask about masturbation fantasies, because she says they are very telling with regards to transfolk.
But then, I see a good gender therapist who is also a sex therapist.
Jay
everyone here has spent time talking about what thier therapists asked... not why....
From the times ive recived the question, its been not in the sense of working out my sexuality... ofcourse, its a great indicator... but, it allows a sight into the persons thought processes... the f2m.... does he see himself as a lesbian or a straight man? a straight woman or a gay man? there are ways of seeing that when someone explains thier sexuality... Likewise with m2fs... is she a gay woman? or a straight man? a straight woman or a gay man? Someones language is often a greater clue to things than thier words... Therapists are not stuipid :P
Quote from: Starbuck on February 02, 2009, 11:35:28 PMTherapists are not stuipid :P
Let's not get carried away. >:-)
You might be right -- but as I said, I didn't think that was the reason with my therapist. It seemed to be more about how transitioning can have social implications relating to sexuality.
um, it really does and can...
QuoteMy therapist has asked me a few times about my sexual orientation, in our first session i told him i have been asexual all my life but since being on hrt that seems to be shifting towards a gg, FtM or under the right conditions another MtF. every time he asks i have the same answer. I have no idea why they ask these questions.
Paula
I like Paula was I beleived myself to be asexual before I began transitioning. When my shrink asked me about my sexual orientation I pretty well told him I had no real interest in having a sex relationship with either sex. I was quite happy to just remain alone. He asked me which I preferred to be in the company of, I said that I was just as comfortable being with women as I was with men.
He asked me if I realised what possible hardships transitioning might impose, that life as is, is not an easy proposition to start with. My response was, any thing except for where I came from had to be better. It was, much better then I had ever dreamed it would be. Later in transition I met another MtoF and I knew that if I ever wanted another relationship this was the last stepping stone that would take me across the crick. And so be it. We got married in Ontario Can. one year after the surgery and that was four years ago.
Cindy
It's been a while, but my therapist did address the subject only once or twice. She asked about my sexual feelings regarding men and women, my sexual orientation. We spent a little time discussing it as I recall, but she didn't keep coming back to it. I figured she was just trying to determine if I had other sexual issues that might indicate that my problem wasn't with gender identity, but rather sexual orientation that could lead to gender confusion. I hope I just made sense.
A friend of mine went to her doctor and told her she was TS. The doctor immediately asked, "How long have you been having sex with men?" She said she never has. The doctor gave her this "Don't try to lie to me" look.
Another time a friend went to a therapist who assumed she was having sex with men. She said she wasn't. The therapist asked why she was transitioning if she wasn't having sex with men!
When I went to get my second opinion letter from a well known gender psychiatrist she asked how long I've been having sex with men. I told her I had no sexual interest in men. She looked surprised.
The ignorance is still very prevalent out there. And there's the whole AIDS/HIV thing. Most places won't let you give blood if you're trans. Sometimes you just want to get up and scream at them "You're not getting it!"
But to answer your question, they could be doing their own research or they could just be dumb. If we don't steer them in the right direction we may never get where we want to go.
Julie
Hi Julie. My shrink only had a general knowledge about TS and being that I lived 250 miles from the closest city where there were gender therapists he was the closest shrink I had access to and I had already been his patient for ten years I stuck with him and educated him on what ever I needed to know or get from him, like proper referral documents to get the evaluation and to see an endo whom I would need letters from to proceed my transitioning. In other words I had to do a lot of my own research in order to educate my shrink. I did all of my own foot work and everything worked out, I believe that this was a pretty good real life test of my own.
Cindy
ROFLMAO ;D they meet with their partners / many other therapist at bi yearly meetings and like football they have a pool going and bets to be won and we are the topics of the bets lol lol lol
Yea a few are kinky >:-) too and get pleasures from that as well
Some are evn prejudice of straight or gay depending on their sexuality
Therapist are some of the most distorted people and need to see therapist just to keep their jobs and many have tried to have relationships with their subjects if they can get away with it and the younger and less street smart you are they stray further
Therapist Patient Abuse Cases: Sex Abuse and Affair with TherapistStatistics about therapy patient abuse only tell part of the story. Approximately 4.4% of therapists report having engaged in sex with at least one client, ...
www.pritzkerlaw.com/therapist-patient-abuse/ (http://www.pritzkerlaw.com/therapist-patient-abuse/)
google it and see more
http://www.nypost.com/seven/03232008/news/nationalnews/on_the_couch_103186.htm
About 12 percent of therapists admit to sexual contact with patients, and many who cross the line are "the last person we would expect," Dr. Glen Gabbard told a crowd at a recent Manhattan conference.
Ahhhh but then that's the same with Drs, and lawyers, judges,clergymen, lets go play house then you can go home and say three Hail Marys and you are forgiven my daughter. And how about landlords. Any of the above will also willingly let you put your shoes under their bed to help offset their bill. Maybe I should build at least a dozen more confessionals, I think their might be a fair influx of sinners before this recession is over.
Cindy
Quote from: postoplesbian on February 04, 2009, 02:05:55 PM
ROFLMAO ;D they meet with their partners / many other therapist at bi yearly meetings and like football they have a pool going and bets to be won and we are the topics of the bets lol lol lol
Yea a few are kinky >:-) too and get pleasures from that as well
Some are evn prejudice of straight or gay depending on their sexuality
Therapist are some of the most distorted people and need to see therapist just to keep their jobs and many have tried to have relationships with their subjects if they can get away with it and the younger and less street smart you are they stray further
Therapist Patient Abuse Cases: Sex Abuse and Affair with TherapistStatistics about therapy patient abuse only tell part of the story. Approximately 4.4% of therapists report having engaged in sex with at least one client, ...
www.pritzkerlaw.com/therapist-patient-abuse/ (http://www.pritzkerlaw.com/therapist-patient-abuse/)
google it and see more
http://www.nypost.com/seven/03232008/news/nationalnews/on_the_couch_103186.htm
About 12 percent of therapists admit to sexual contact with patients, and many who cross the line are "the last person we would expect," Dr. Glen Gabbard told a crowd at a recent Manhattan conference.
all i can say is... WHAT????????? its probably the same figures as any profession, but why are you terrifying people here who are already nervous about going to a therapist into thinking they will abuse you? its scaremongering bs.... as for talking about you to others... wrong... paitent confidentiality hon, try learning about it.... (and yes it applies to therapists)
Quote from: Starbuck on February 05, 2009, 06:43:04 AM
Quote from: postoplesbian on February 04, 2009, 02:05:55 PM
ROFLMAO ;D they meet with their partners / many other therapist at bi yearly meetings and like football they have a pool going and bets to be won and we are the topics of the bets lol lol lol
Yea a few are kinky >:-) too and get pleasures from that as well
Some are evn prejudice of straight or gay depending on their sexuality
Therapist are some of the most distorted people and need to see therapist just to keep their jobs and many have tried to have relationships with their subjects if they can get away with it and the younger and less street smart you are they stray further
Therapist Patient Abuse Cases: Sex Abuse and Affair with TherapistStatistics about therapy patient abuse only tell part of the story. Approximately 4.4% of therapists report having engaged in sex with at least one client, ...
www.pritzkerlaw.com/therapist-patient-abuse/ (http://www.pritzkerlaw.com/therapist-patient-abuse/)
google it and see more
http://www.nypost.com/seven/03232008/news/nationalnews/on_the_couch_103186.htm
About 12 percent of therapists admit to sexual contact with patients, and many who cross the line are "the last person we would expect," Dr. Glen Gabbard told a crowd at a recent Manhattan conference.
all i can say is... WHAT????????? its probably the same figures as any profession, but why are you terrifying people here who are already nervous about going to a therapist into thinking they will abuse you? its scaremongering bs.... as for talking about you to others... wrong... paitent confidentiality hon, try learning about it.... (and yes it applies to therapists)
1st. I would rather people know the statistics so they can be prepared and be able to nip it in the bud before it happens. Its best that our people are aware and not all trusting as that is what causes problems. Its the reason we teach children not to trust any adults or anyone for that matter. Therapist are not gods and or priest opps they are a bad example no therapist are people with their own issues and letting others here think they are all mighty beings is wrong.
2nd. Therapist are allowed to talk in general about the statistics of their clients. No they are not allowed to talk specifically.
For therapy to be sucessful, one needs to have a certain amount of trust and openness to ones therapist, OR IT WILL JUST NOT WORK....
Two educated adults spending time together each week privaetly for an hour having a conversation, albeit one-sided, about deep personal issues ... and you're surprised that affection might develop? It's almost guaranteed to happen from time to time. You can't just turn of attraction. You can, however, be responsible and terminate the therapist-client relationship should a romantic relationship begin to develop. Sadly, love (or even just sex) and responsibility are often at odds with each other. Yes, Starbuck, this happens across the professional world. The world would be a dull (and unpopulated) place without it.
Quote from: Alyssa M. on February 05, 2009, 12:29:14 PM
Two educated adults spending time together each week privaetly for an hour having a conversation, albeit one-sided, about deep personal issues ... and you're surprised that affection might develop? It's almost guaranteed to happen from time to time. You can't just turn of attraction. You can, however, be responsible and terminate the therapist-client relationship should a romantic relationship begin to develop. Sadly, love (or even just sex) and responsibility are often at odds with each other. Yes, Starbuck, this happens across the professional world. The world would be a dull (and unpopulated) place without it.
DITTO
Well the only person's shoes I want under my bed is Wing Walkers. Although I have fantasied a few other peoples shoes under my bed but that will only remain in my fantasies. Romantic relationships are wonderful as long as both parties are are willing participants in that relationship and not to pay the rent or the Dr's bill, or the ticket to the policeman's ball, or the male man, for free. ;D
Cindy
I can't say that question ever came up (though I didn't have a therapist as such). But then I was a pretty normal teenager (for a girl) so I guess the answer was obvious ;D
Quote from: sneakersjay on February 02, 2009, 11:34:51 PMMy therapist also did ask about masturbation fantasies, because she says they are very telling with regards to transfolk.
Jay, I'm curious: telling in what way? Or did she elaborate?
generally these fantisies are from the perspective of ones true sex.... so regardless of weather one digs boys or girls, the tell is how one reacts to those in ones fantisies.... as your birth sex? or your mental sex?
Quote from: Eryk on February 02, 2009, 09:17:48 PM
My therapist didn't really harp on how transitioning would change my sex life... probably because I've never had one. She did seem very, very interested in my 'fantasies,' however. I just gaped at her when she said: "So, how do you masturbate?" She's my mom's age so, uhm, it's awkward. I just mumbled something about 'thrusting.'
Sounds inappropriate to me.
My therapist seemed overly interstested in what sex is like with my spouse since T has increased my sex drive. She seemed a little too interested. I told her I preferred not to discuss my private sex life (or sex drive) with her.
Quote from: Benjamin on February 07, 2009, 06:41:10 AM
Quote from: Eryk on February 02, 2009, 09:17:48 PM
My therapist didn't really harp on how transitioning would change my sex life... probably because I've never had one. She did seem very, very interested in my 'fantasies,' however. I just gaped at her when she said: "So, how do you masturbate?" She's my mom's age so, uhm, it's awkward. I just mumbled something about 'thrusting.'
Sounds inappropriate to me.
My therapist seemed overly interstested in what sex is like with my spouse since T has increased my sex drive. She seemed a little too interested. I told her I preferred not to discuss my private sex life (or sex drive) with her.
Actually my therapist says that masturbation fantasies can be key in diagnosing GID, FWIW. She's also a sex therapist.
Jay
Quote from: sneakersjay on February 07, 2009, 02:30:22 PM
Actually my therapist says that masturbation fantasies can be key in diagnosing GID, FWIW. She's also a sex therapist.
Jay
Hmm... really? Good to know! Thanks for the info.
My therapist diagnosed me right off (in my first session) with GID, because it was a very cut & dry case. I told her I was an FTM and she agreed. So, the sex life questions felt more invasive (to me, in my case) than was necessary.
But thanks for clarifying that there is indeed a true purpose and need for therapists to ask those things.