Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Crossdresser talk => Topic started by: dominique1 on February 05, 2009, 10:59:07 AM

Title: gay crossdressers versus straight crossdressers
Post by: dominique1 on February 05, 2009, 10:59:07 AM
Are heterosexual crossdressers more predominant than gay crossdressers?I would like to hear what people have to say about this.Do both groups do it for the same reasons.?

Thanks Dominique1
Title: Re: gay crossdressers versus straight crossdressers
Post by: tekla on February 05, 2009, 11:23:16 AM
Its gets very murky, but... common notions have CDs at about 80% straight, but I would guess that in fact the bi % is very high, and no one knows for sure.
Title: Re: gay crossdressers versus straight crossdressers
Post by: dominique1 on February 05, 2009, 12:08:35 PM
Hi Tekla,thanks for getting back to me.Do you think gay cd's use it to lure straight men.
Title: Re: gay crossdressers versus straight crossdressers
Post by: tekla on February 05, 2009, 12:13:22 PM
I doubt that 'lure' would be the right word, I'm sure many 'straight' guys have sex with CDs thinking that they are still straight.
Title: Re: gay crossdressers versus straight crossdressers
Post by: dominique1 on February 05, 2009, 12:16:52 PM
But a straight guy would not be having sex with a male cd,would'nt that make him not straight.
Dominique1
Title: Re: gay crossdressers versus straight crossdressers
Post by: chrysalis on February 17, 2009, 02:55:40 AM
As I understand it gay adn straight are terms taht define attraction adn they, like many things, are better expressed on a spectrum (the Kinsey Scale for example).

If a man has sex with a CD because he was attracted to what is being projected (a feminine identity) then no, he's straight. However, if he is attracted to the underlying male then it would seem that gay is more appropriate.

I don't think it is as polar as that though. I think it's possible for many mixtures of both to be found whereby a man may be attracted initially to the female but upon intercourse find the male aspects more attractive.

The mind does not uphold the same barriers that society or even science does.
Title: Re: gay crossdressers versus straight crossdressers
Post by: dominique1 on February 17, 2009, 07:28:50 AM
Hi Chrysalis,thanks for your comments ,I found them very interesting  and helpful.
Dominique
Title: Re: gay crossdressers versus straight crossdressers
Post by: Genevieve Swann on February 23, 2009, 05:43:55 AM
All of the Drag Queens I know are gay. Drag Queens usually only dress to perform. Lip sync stuff. Mostly bad performances at that. Most crossdressers would prefer to make dressing as a woman a fulltime experience. Also, most crossdressers are straight. Married men with children and still in the closet. e.g. Herbert Hoover was a crossdresser. Damn he must have made an ugly woman. Probably gay crossdressers do not dress to attract men. That could be dangerous. Any guy who picks up a crossdresser may be trying to fool himself into beleiving he is straight. If they pick up a woman with an additional appendage and they are aware of it, must be bi. Or maybe just horny. "Any port in a storm" as they say in the navy.

Post Merge: February 23, 2009, 05:25:27 AM

Correction: J. Edgar Hoover, head of the F.B.I. was a crossdresser. Into feather boas I heard. Herbert Hoover was a president.

Post Merge: February 23, 2009, 06:48:43 AM

Statistics of 1159 crossdressers. Straight-48.4%  Straight,bicurious-23.9%  Bi prefer women-10.1%  Straight with Homosexual experience- 7.2%   Bisexual - 6.6%   Bisexual prefer men- 1.6%  Gay- 1.5%  Gay with Heterosexual Experience- .7%     I found that on google.
Title: Re: gay crossdressers versus straight crossdressers
Post by: dominique1 on February 23, 2009, 07:27:40 AM
Genevieve,those stats mean I am  in a complete minority  at 1.5%.My chances of meeting somebody like me are pretty slim.
Dominique.
P.S. thanks for the stats.
Title: Re: gay crossdressers versus straight crossdressers
Post by: Genevieve Swann on February 23, 2009, 07:47:56 AM
OK let's try again. Straight bicurious 23.9  bi 6.6               Bi Pref men  1.6  Gay 1.5    23.9+6.6+1.6+1.5=33.6%           Over one third. And the curious ones you could easily convert. Be optimistic.
Title: Re: gay crossdressers versus straight crossdressers
Post by: dominique1 on February 23, 2009, 10:09:14 AM
Thanks for the clarification,I do feel more opyimistic now.
Dominique
Title: Re: gay crossdressers versus straight crossdressers
Post by: Genevieve Swann on February 23, 2009, 10:12:38 AM
Your welcome sweety. HUGs, genevieve
Title: Re: gay crossdressers versus straight crossdressers
Post by: sarahkinnetz1984 on March 18, 2009, 10:09:43 PM
Although I've played on the bi-side and enjoyed it, I'd say I'm very straight but also a crossdresser... I'm attracted to feminity I guess...
Title: Re: gay crossdressers versus straight crossdressers
Post by: Vicky on March 18, 2009, 11:13:19 PM
All I can really add to this, since the numbers are the same ones I've seen, one of the happiest married couples I know is gay, and one of the partners is CD.  They are monogamous, but both are a lot of fun, and the full time guy, treats the other "girl's" in our crowd no matter what their orientation is, like they are princesses and likewise his spouse when he is she. They both joke about being "outed" as a heterosexual couple pretending to be gay.   It can happen.   ;D
Title: Re: gay crossdressers versus straight crossdressers
Post by: Miniar on March 19, 2009, 05:44:51 AM
Personally, I'm pansexual and don't understand attraction based on genitals at all and so I'm probably not the right person to comment.. but...
I have a friend who has a saying: "I'm probably bisexual, I just haven't met the right man yet."
So even amongst those that profess themselves straight, there could be some of those sort.

You never know..
Title: Re: gay crossdressers versus straight crossdressers
Post by: Constance on March 19, 2009, 11:25:26 AM
I'm a cross-dresser who's been married for the last 20+ years. If the woman I'd fallen in love with had been a man, I'd still have fallen in love.

I'm not so much attracted to a person based on their body, but based on the person. Bisexual seems to be the most convenient term, but it doesn't quite cover the whole gender spectrum. Bisexual refers to a binary, which is limiting in regards to what I find sexually attractive.
Title: Re: gay crossdressers versus straight crossdressers
Post by: Diane Elizabeth on March 23, 2009, 12:21:13 PM
From what studies I have read about Drag Queens, most are straight.  They do it for the performance pleasure. 

I, as a married bisexual male, have found that my desire for dressing is separate from my sexual desires.  I am visually attracted to the female body over a male body.  Maybe its the clothes they wear.   Being attrated to a person mentally has nothing to do with ones gender or sexual ID. 
Title: Re: gay crossdressers versus straight crossdressers
Post by: SarahFaceDoom on March 23, 2009, 05:52:35 PM
I've got five dollars on the gay crossdressers.  They're fierce!!!

Oh.  This thread isn't a "what if they fought", huh?
Title: Re: gay crossdressers versus straight crossdressers
Post by: Shana A on March 23, 2009, 06:11:01 PM
Quote from: SarahFaceDoom on March 23, 2009, 05:52:35 PM
I've got five dollars on the gay crossdressers.  They're fierce!!!

LOL  :laugh: :laugh:
Title: Re: gay crossdressers versus straight crossdressers
Post by: julieb on March 25, 2009, 05:21:59 PM
if I am dressed as a mam with a man or a woman, then I act as a man,if I am dressed as a woman with a woman I am Lesbian, if I am dressed as a woman with a man then I become a slut,explain that
Title: Re: gay crossdressers versus straight crossdressers
Post by: DragonGirl on April 01, 2009, 12:27:33 PM
You might need more heads to wear all those hats. ;)   :laugh:  ::) Sounds good to me why explain it, sounds like lots of fun.
Title: Re: gay crossdressers versus straight crossdressers
Post by: Genevieve Swann on May 14, 2009, 10:41:29 AM
Sounds very normal. I thought we all did that.
Title: Re: gay crossdressers versus straight crossdressers
Post by: Cyndigurl45 on May 14, 2009, 12:24:12 PM
I am in the 6.6% bi sexual, I have discovered however that I am only attracked to men while expressing my trueself not being male so at first I thought myself strait but after enjoying the company of another woman in the bedroom I am sure I'm bi :) I like both, I have also on one occasion been on a double date my truself, another woman and we each had a male escorting us now that was absolutly the most enjoyable time I had ever had and I'll leave it at that ;)
Title: Re: gay crossdressers versus straight crossdressers
Post by: Britney_413 on May 16, 2009, 07:45:11 PM
Common confusion I run into with people (including GLBT) is they fail to separate sexual orientation from gender identity. Additionally, they don't all understand what exactly sexual orientation means either.

I consider myself bi because I am attracted to men, women (genetic or post-op), and non-op/pre-op transsexuals. A lot of people would say that an experience between me and a non-op MTF would still be a gay experience. I don't see it that way. People further confuse gender and sex making the problem worse. While the non-op/pre-op TS would be male by sex (genitals), they would be female by gender. I see people by the gender they present and not by the mere physical attributes. So if I were on a date with a non-op/pre-op TS and I am also presenting as female myself (cross-dressed), that would actually be a lesbian experience. What is "underneath" is irrelevant. The two of us see each other as girls, treat each other as girls, and that is what defines it.

Ultimately what should occur ideally is for people to just stop worrying about labels to begin with. You have the right to be attracted to whoever you want and to present with whatever gender you want and you really don't have an obligation to answer to anyone except yourself as it is your life.
Title: Re: gay crossdressers versus straight crossdressers
Post by: stacyB on May 16, 2009, 07:55:44 PM
Wish it were that cut and dried... but for example, what do you make of men who are only attracted to crossdressers and not genetic women? Gay? Straight? Fetish? It goes beyond gender and orientation, as in the case above there is no clear definitive answer I can see.

There is the element of attraction as well. Sexual orientation is only part of the equation, attraction does not necessarily run parallel to orientation. Too often, when we cant define that we throw around the term bi-sexual. But I would postulate that bi-sexual and fetish are two different paths to go by, though not at all mutually exclusive.

Wh do we humans always seem to feel the need to categorize and comparmentalize everything? Nature is chaos, embrace it!  ;D :D ::)
Title: Re: gay crossdressers versus straight crossdressers
Post by: Bethany W on July 24, 2009, 09:54:32 PM
Quote from: Miniar on March 19, 2009, 05:44:51 AM
Personally, I'm pansexual and don't understand attraction based on genitals at all and so I'm probably not the right person to comment.. but...
I have a friend who has a saying: "I'm probably bisexual, I just haven't met the right man yet."
So even amongst those that profess themselves straight, there could be some of those sort.

You never know..
I also identify as pansexual
Title: Re: gay crossdressers versus straight crossdressers
Post by: Diane Elizabeth on July 27, 2009, 11:06:26 PM
What about those that are neither gay or straight.  Where would you put us?
Title: Re: gay crossdressers versus straight crossdressers
Post by: tekla on July 27, 2009, 11:24:00 PM
Well assuming your not both - which is bi or pan (though I doubt that most of the people here who ID as Pan really understand all that's involved in that), then I'm guessing at Starbucks, having a coffee and surfing the web.
Title: Re: gay crossdressers versus straight crossdressers
Post by: finewine on July 28, 2009, 01:59:06 AM
The more arbitrary labels we create, the more we confuse.  What's behind the predilection we have for trying to carve up the gender & sexuality spectra into finer and finer slices?  A love of categorizing ourselves and others?  Or a rebellion against other categories by, ironically, creating yet another one?

You want to know my label?  Look in the back of my boxer shorts - that's where I keep it.  Beware, though...I may blow you a kiss. :)
Title: Re: gay crossdressers versus straight crossdressers
Post by: Constance on July 28, 2009, 10:14:54 AM
I can't and won't speak (post?) for others, but for me it's not so much about labels as it is about working within the confines of language to describe myself. Somehow, saying "I am a person" seems incomplete, to me.
Title: Re: gay crossdressers versus straight crossdressers
Post by: finewine on July 28, 2009, 10:24:10 AM
Yup, I understand - my issue with too many labels doesn't logically invert into "there should be just one".  It just seems that there's a tendency to "over-rotate" on the labelling front.  How much granularity do we really need? :)
Title: Re: gay crossdressers versus straight crossdressers
Post by: Vallin on September 27, 2013, 03:58:45 PM
I was searching "gay bisexual crossdressers", and I came across this forum (I'm already a member here). One of my best "dates" (o-kay...) was with a bisexual (gay?) crossdresser, and I suppose that went a long way to opening me up to my own bisexuality. I'm bi-genderqueer, usually present male on workdays by default/simplicity, and I'm a "Glam-Rocker" on special occasions (a cross between Freddie Mercury and Chrissie Hynde: HEYYYY...how sexy is THAT?!!)
Title: Re: gay crossdressers versus straight crossdressers
Post by: janetcgtv on July 02, 2014, 08:55:15 PM
on several different web sites I had polls about this.
70% Bi
13% herero
10% gay
3% autoerotic
3% asexual
Title: Re: gay crossdressers versus straight crossdressers
Post by: michelle gee on July 02, 2014, 09:03:38 PM
Quote from: Genevieve Swann on February 23, 2009, 05:43:55 AM
All of the Drag Queens I know are gay. Drag Queens usually only dress to perform. Lip sync stuff. Mostly bad performances at that. Most crossdressers would prefer to make dressing as a woman a fulltime experience. Also, most crossdressers are straight. Married men with children and still in the closet. e.g. Herbert Hoover was a crossdresser. Damn he must have made an ugly woman. Probably gay crossdressers do not dress to attract men. That could be dangerous. Any guy who picks up a crossdresser may be trying to fool himself into beleiving he is straight. If they pick up a woman with an additional appendage and they are aware of it, must be bi. Or maybe just horny. "Any port in a storm" as they say in the navy.

Post Merge: February 23, 2009, 05:25:27 AM

Correction: J. Edgar Hoover, head of the F.B.I. was a crossdresser. Into feather boas I heard. Herbert Hoover was a president.

Post Merge: February 23, 2009, 06:48:43 AM

Statistics of 1159 crossdressers. Straight-48.4%  Straight,bicurious-23.9%  Bi prefer women-10.1%  Straight with Homosexual experience- 7.2%   Bisexual - 6.6%   Bisexual prefer men- 1.6%  Gay- 1.5%  Gay with Heterosexual Experience- .7%     I found that on google.

There are many who say this was not the case or rather no solid proof that this was true.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/five-myths-about-j-edgar-hoover/2011/11/07/gIQASLlo5M_story.html

http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/2423/was-j-edgar-hoover-a-cross-dresser
Title: Re: gay crossdressers versus straight crossdressers
Post by: Dani Davis on July 03, 2014, 01:06:57 AM
Bi but with only a couple of experiences with men under my belt.  (So to speak.)
Title: Re: gay crossdressers versus straight crossdressers
Post by: Felix on July 03, 2014, 01:36:38 AM
What about a cisgender female heterosexual child who persistently dresses like a drag queen? Is that a thing? Like, every female toddler (and some males) I've ever met has dressed like a drag queen, and apparently they don't always grow out of it. I normally would not even try to classify this, but anyone who meets my kid either points it out on their own or strongly agrees when it is mentioned. For some people, it is a true and intentional gender performance, but the fact that toddlers are into something very similar highlights how it is an exaggeration of social standards for femininity. Glitter and sequins and long gowns.
Title: Re: gay crossdressers versus straight crossdressers
Post by: Feather on July 03, 2014, 05:54:41 AM
Yes, heterosexual crossdressers are far more common.

I think both groups have similar goals.. ie. giving space to one's femininity. Maybe in different ways.. I don't know many gays.. and the ones I know I'm not aware that they crossdress. Maybe they often just don't do it then, because if you're gay it's probably easier to admit that you crossdress? It seems more acceptable for a gay to express femininity.
Title: Re: gay crossdressers versus straight crossdressers
Post by: mac1 on July 03, 2014, 03:00:01 PM
Why are cis-males still viewed as "cross dressers" or "drag queens" when sis-females are openly accepted as women no matter what clothes they wear.  Also, why can openly cis-women freely use the men's public restrooms without fear of prosecution while openly sis-men are unable to use the women's public restrooms withour incident?
Title: Re: gay crossdressers versus straight crossdressers
Post by: Feather on July 03, 2014, 03:12:59 PM
Quote from: mac1 on July 03, 2014, 03:00:01 PM
Why are cis-males still viewed as "cross dressers" or "drag queens" when sis-females are openly accepted as women no matter what clothes they wear.  Also, why can openly cis-women freely use the men's public restrooms without fear of prosecution while openly sis-men are unable to use the women's public restrooms withour incident?
I think the latter has a lot to do with man on average being more (sexually) aggressive and physically capable of dominating a woman.

As for the dressing part.. I totally agree. It would be great if males could wear whatever they like.. masculine or feminine. We've seen females adopting male clothes although they tend to give their own feminine spin on it that accentuate the feminine shape. Jeans being originally a male cloth but make them tight and a feminine shape is emphasized. Similarly, males are allowed to wear things considered feminine such as necklaces. But if it's a thin necklace or if it has a 'cute' symbol as a hanger it may be frowned upon and considered feminine. Males may wear tight clothes but if you're not muscular it is again often frowned upon.

This is all very interesting because there are ''male to female crossdressers'' who don't just want to wear feminine clothes.. they want to feel like a female totally. For myself, even if feminine clothes were completely acceptable as a male I would still be disappointed. I don't just want to wear feminine clothes because it's nice, but also because it makes me feel less a male and more happy to look more like a female.


Title: Re: gay crossdressers versus straight crossdressers
Post by: echo_artist on July 04, 2014, 06:37:16 AM
Quote from: Genevieve Swann on February 23, 2009, 05:43:55 AM
All of the Drag Queens I know are gay. Drag Queens usually only dress to perform. Lip sync stuff. Mostly bad performances at that. Most crossdressers would prefer to make dressing as a woman a fulltime experience. Also, most crossdressers are straight. Married men with children and still in the closet. e.g. Herbert Hoover was a crossdresser. Damn he must have made an ugly woman. Probably gay crossdressers do not dress to attract men. That could be dangerous. Any guy who picks up a crossdresser may be trying to fool himself into beleiving he is straight. If they pick up a woman with an additional appendage and they are aware of it, must be bi. Or maybe just horny. "Any port in a storm" as they say in the navy.

Post Merge: February 23, 2009, 05:25:27 AM

Correction: J. Edgar Hoover, head of the F.B.I. was a crossdresser. Into feather boas I heard. Herbert Hoover was a president.

Post Merge: February 23, 2009, 06:48:43 AM

Statistics of 1159 crossdressers. Straight-48.4%  Straight,bicurious-23.9%  Bi prefer women-10.1%  Straight with Homosexual experience- 7.2%   Bisexual - 6.6%   Bisexual prefer men- 1.6%  Gay- 1.5%  Gay with Heterosexual Experience- .7%     I found that on google.

I got scared when you said Hoover, lol. But those were some fun facts. :)
Title: Re: gay crossdressers versus straight crossdressers
Post by: Sttefanne Camp on July 04, 2014, 07:21:49 AM
Hello  :laugh:

What I will comment now, is because of what I know of several contacts that have ...
Well .. as has been said, Heterosexual Crossdresser is much more common ... the few Crosses Homosexuals know that, say, within the "gay community" there is a huge difficulty for crossdressing.

However, the level of Brazil, is a little easier to expose a homosexual cross and be "more accepted" by society than a heterosexual cross...

In my point of view, coming to "the real world" when all we produced, made-up, etc., at least among us, those differences (homosexual heterosexual cross X cross ... more traditional and others more exuberant costumes, etc.) , are hardly grounds for disagreement ... but to show that we have something in common in all of us: Pleasure to be an adept person Crossdressing.


Title: Re: gay crossdressers versus straight crossdressers
Post by: OreSama on July 21, 2014, 05:32:15 PM
I don't know how common it is, but I'm a cross-dressing heterosexual transman.  I love wearing skirts, feminine jewelry, dresses, and so on, although I mostly just cross-dress at home so I don't have to deal with people thinking I'm a woman.  Some would consider me bi since I'm fine with trans women who haven't started on transitioning yet, but eh.  I just see them as women, no matter what their body looks like.
Title: Re: gay crossdressers versus straight crossdressers
Post by: VeronicaLynn on July 21, 2014, 11:44:55 PM
I don't know what category I am in anymore, other than I still don't like binary men. Does it make me bisexual that I do like FtM? Or MtF? Or non-binaries? On some level, maybe, but if I were to say I were bisexual, that would imply that I like binary men which I don't at all...I don't like anything about them, don't want to be one, and certainly don't want to date one.
Title: Re: gay crossdressers versus straight crossdressers
Post by: mac1 on July 22, 2014, 11:23:40 AM
Clothes are just clothes. All clothing (except in restricted societies) has become acceptable for women so why can't the same be the case for men?
Title: Re: gay crossdressers versus straight crossdressers
Post by: Sttefanne Camp on July 23, 2014, 07:39:18 AM
Quote from: mac1 on July 22, 2014, 11:23:40 AM
Clothes are just clothes. All clothing (except in restricted societies) as become acceptable for women so why can't the same be the case for men?


Great Observation  :D

After all, most of us are initially expressed externally. The lack of psychic is each person  :P ...
Title: Re: gay crossdressers versus straight crossdressers
Post by: kittie on August 19, 2014, 08:40:17 AM
I am a cross-dresser & I am bi-sexual
Title: Re: gay crossdressers versus straight crossdressers
Post by: mac1 on August 19, 2014, 12:24:03 PM
Quote from: kittie on August 19, 2014, 08:40:17 AM
I am a cross-dresser & I am bi-sexual
Isn't it strange that women are not referred to as crossdressers no matter what they wear?
Title: Re: gay crossdressers versus straight crossdressers
Post by: Alesium on August 31, 2014, 11:56:49 PM
Hello, fellow Nonconformants.

Go play an online video game.  Almost every woman character on there is bound to be a male player.  :P  (MMORPG ["Massively Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game"] = "Mostly Men Online Role-Playing [as] Girls")  One of my best friends on WoW opened up to me one day that he (a male character) was actually a she (female player), whereas I was the opposite.  It brought on a good laugh.


Toodles from TN,
Ales
Title: Re: gay crossdressers versus straight crossdressers
Post by: Sttefanne Camp on September 01, 2014, 07:31:23 AM
Quote from: mac1 on August 19, 2014, 12:24:03 PM
Isn't it strange that women are not referred to as crossdressers no matter what they wear?

Mac1 .... Well ... I see that, unlike the men's clothing, menswear observed which were adapted to the female body (blazer, suits, trousers ... among others ...), thus some observations go unnoticed . :)..
However, within the crossdresser world, can generate a feeling of "is there to Femme Male crossdressing"  ??? ? And where can discriminate  :o ...
Title: Re: gay crossdressers versus straight crossdressers
Post by: wheatbread on September 02, 2014, 01:29:16 AM
I'm bisexual and I enjoy a bit of crossdressing every now and then.

I just find guy clothes to be boring, and doing little things like wearing panties or girly socks when i'm just out boost my confidence. When it comes to more, er, private affairs, I feel sexier too.