Finding My Voice, Threatening My Identity
http://jmcl.wordpress.com/2009/02/07/voice/ (http://jmcl.wordpress.com/2009/02/07/voice/)
2/7/09
Starting last fall, I began working with a voice coach here in Bedford Falls. As I began to inhabit my new reality, I became more self-conscious about my voice, especially when little kids would ask me things like, "How come you talk like a man?" And I began to realize that I needed to find my voice, which is to say I not only wanted my voice to be passably feminine, but I also wanted to gain a self-authority and integrity to feel confident to speak as Joyce.
Quote...if we start messing with the voice, we threaten my core self, and the core self fights back. In other words, it feels (and felt) as if my voice was the one true thing about me and even though it has been difficult to get rid of my beard, acquire a new wardrobe, modify my body chemistry, and pursue various surgeries, it is the voice that comes closest to my core identity...
So true, I've been focusing on my voice a lot more recently.. getting the CDs and reading/researching etc and I feel I'm starting to get somewhere but whenever I go out especially to a loud venue I always revert back to what I know. This is the hardest thing.. because it takes sooooooo long to retrain the vocal chord muscles. Longer than it takes to muster the guts to go shopping for the first time no doubt!!! You hear storys of people slipping into the new voice and then finding it hard to change back, when you are still living as a male it can be a scary thought. Being able to switch back and forth is something I long for. I've been doing a lot of singing along to my fav female singers so far. It would be interesting to hear peoples experiences on this..
Such an important issue/topic. ;)