Since I came to accepting who I am again, I do believe that I can actually think more coherently and no longer in a circular pattern, I have lost the ability to not feel the pain and suffering of my physical body, (I can actually feel stuff, injuries, temperature), I am at a happyer place and I LOVE myself, some of my nasty habits have ceased to exist practically at once. I sleep better, and a downfall of acceptance, if it even is one, is that I have lost the ability to stay up for extroardinary amounts of time without sleep, caffiene or drugs.
Does anyone else, have/had similar changes occur at the point or around the point of acceptance, I would really like to know, or am I just one that is different in this aspect??
I think far more clearly than before... When I do sleep it was usualy better but a tramatic experiance brought back the insomnia and nightmares. And when the insomnia fades I NEED to get my sleep LoL
Also Im a happyer and far more sociable person in general....... I found out that I can actualy smile. Something that was impossable from my teen years up. When I did smile it was totaly forced, looked fake and couldnt be held for more than a few seconds. Now its natural and can if needs be constant :D
I am happy in my body since SRS. But even before that, being true to myself was a major blessing. Oh... and I noticed men after a few months on estrogen.
Robyn
Hi Pauline,
I can only describe my feelings as if it was someone taking a wall down in front of my life. I was completely surrounded by it, trapped and unable to escape.
Every single step, no matter how small, took a brick away, coming out, hormones, being able to talk and discuss, going full time, speech therapy, FFS, SRS etc..... all dismantled that wall until I could eventually climb through what was left of the wreckage.
Gosh ... It felt damn good to get out, emotionally and physically
Over the years everything has changed, I now sleep, I now think, I now live.... as simple as that.... ;D
Buffy
I no longer feel schizophrenic. That alone has been worth coming to acceptance. It's so delightfully refreshing to know that there's only one person in here, me. And since there's just me in here, ALL the things I enjoy are mine. It's almost as though in absorbing this other self back into me I've discovered that I actually have more interests and talents than I realized. I know, it's all perspective. But there you go.
It's also been quite nice to lose the "freak" label I'd given myself. I'm much more comfortable in my own skin irregardless of what happens to be covering that skin at any given moment.