I've been thinking. I'm sure most if not all of us set limits on how far your lover can go. I know for myself, the shirt/binder stays on no matter what, and I refuse to shave downstairs, just because I feel that it would ruin the illusion.
Suppose there was a TG person who was totally okay with their body, like a FtM who didn't bind/pack, or a MtF who didn't tuck, etc.
Would it be possible for them to "bare it all" persay with their lover, and have their lover still see them as their desired gender?
While we're on the topic, is it even possible to have a TG person who was okay with their body? How would they know if they were TG if they had no problems physically?
Just some thoughts. :)
I'm totally okay with my downstairs parts. Sure, I wish I had a penis, but since that's not an option, I've learned to fully accept what I have. My breasts are a different case... I hate them. However, because my wife claims to be fine with them, we have no boundaries in terms of intimacy.
I assume if I weren't married, and were prone to casual sex, I'd keep my chest bound at all times. I don't think any TS person can really be totally okay with their body to start with... if they were, they likely wouldn't be TS. However, I'm the first one to attest to the fact that it is quite possible to learn to be okay with certain things, if they don't bother you incredibly much to begin with.
SD
btw, Asher, you're going nuts on the boards today!
I do know that there are lovers out there who have no problems with the physical realities of a relationship. I also know many individuals who have found their comfort zone when it comes to the various steps along the way.
I would never encourage someone to go all the way unless they are absolutely ready with a clear mindedness and the permanent nature of surgical procedures.
Cindi
trust me, i know from experience in both directions that just because you have a wang/vajay/boobs doesnt mean whoever youre with will see you any different.
my ex GF and i were... umm... lol anyways, shes seen/groped it all and she still acts the exact same as the day she met me assuming i was a bio male.
my new BF now is trans (completely preT and operations) and same things have gone on and nothing in my eyes would change his gender unless the words came out of his mouth that hed made a mistake and was actually a girl.
Well said Josh and yes I totally agree with Sebastian who said you find your comfort zone and I would like to add that that also depends on who you are with at the time for example you may be comfortable cuddling your long term partner with a shirt on but without your binder but you probably would not be comfortable doing this with a one night stand or someone you barely knew but were just getting together with for casual sex, I know I would not anyway.
Some things are just off limits though but again what those things are are different for everyone.
Sebastien: Yeah, I'm cool with downstairs as well. Heh, it's cause I don't log on very often, so when I do, I end up making a couple topics and replying to everything.
Quote from: freespeechz on February 15, 2009, 06:01:47 PM
I've been thinking. I'm sure most if not all of us set limits on how far your lover can go. I know for myself, the shirt/binder stays on no matter what, and I refuse to shave downstairs, just because I feel that it would ruin the illusion.
Suppose there was a TG person who was totally okay with their body, like a FtM who didn't bind/pack, or a MtF who didn't tuck, etc.
Would it be possible for them to "bare it all" persay with their lover, and have their lover still see them as their desired gender?
While we're on the topic, is it even possible to have a TG person who was okay with their body? How would they know if they were TG if they had no problems physically?
Just some thoughts. :)
There are plenty of people who get naked for sex, there are plenty of people who use their original equipment for sex and plenty of partners who know that getting off is just getting off and not some big huge expression of identity.
Quote from: freespeechz on February 16, 2009, 03:23:59 PM
Sebastien: Yeah, I'm cool with downstairs as well. Heh, it's cause I don't log on very often, so when I do, I end up making a couple topics and replying to everything.
Too funny Asher! Good for you!
Cindi
My pre-op trans boyfriend and I "bare it all" as you say. If you'd asked me a few months ago if I'd ever be this comfortable in a relationship, I would've looked at you like you were crazy. However, the fact that I know that he can look at me regardless of what my feminine body says and still see me as male and I know that I do the same for him (efforlessly, I might add), helps a lot. Not having to explain how I felt about my body helped break the barriers down that I'd set up in my mind prior to knowing him. I don't know how it works, but it just does. I view him for who I know he his and nothing will change that.
However, we do like to keep the lights off/extremely dim. It helps with the bits of dysphoria that we still struggle with. I have a feeling once top surgery is over and done with, that won't be necessary for me anymore. I in general have always liked the intimate feeling of practically no lighting, but I don't know if that's because I'm so uncomfortable with my body or what.
Depends on the person perhaps. With my ex I always felt inhibited, but this weekend I met a girl who was crazy about about my body and that felt very good. I had no inhibitions whatsoever, very liberating.