Finally, the guys' side of the story.
(I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear 'the rules'
From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note ... these are all numbered '1'
ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear!
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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LOL That is so true. And they think it is like camping, they can have dinner out o a can, just like camping.
Janet
This is great! I love it. I'll send it to all my male and female friends...
Quote1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
Quote1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
He he he!
;D
Jay
Quote1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
This is SO true. My friend's daughter was in Cats, so I asked what colour her costume was. She said she's the one in the taupe costume. What the hell colour is taupe???
Dennis
I don't watch the sunday sports ... but other than that
"1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for."
What happens when my boyfriend WAS my girlfriend??
Quote from: Dennis on March 13, 2009, 08:45:53 AM
This is SO true. My friend's daughter was in Cats, so I asked what colour her costume was. She said she's the one in the taupe costume. What the hell colour is taupe???
Dennis
Taupe is a greyish tan. But I swear I only know that because I enjoy the thoroughly manly (if extremely nerdy) pursuit of painting gaming miniatures. Oh yeah, and I'm flaming gay. ;)
Dennis, As mentioned before, taupe is gray/brown or the color of mole skin, whatever color a mole is?
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one
This is a good rule for reading posts on Internet message boards. :)
Quote from: Genevieve Swann on March 13, 2009, 05:54:12 PM
Dennis, As mentioned before, taupe is gray/brown or the color of mole skin, whatever color a mole is?
i though moles were black - have however only seen 200 year old pickled moles
When I first saw this, I parsed the thread title as a complete clause rather than a noun phrase.
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